Topic : 01/19 Young Moms Ask the Experts

Young moms or moms of young children?  I had my first child at 47 and my second at 48.  New mothers, both young and old and those who have adopted, invariably have the same questions about child rearing.  Please try not to lump all new mothers as young.  Thanks.

"Old" Mom in Virginia.

I am a 29 year old mother of 3.  I was young when I had my first baby who is now 51/2 years.  I was lost had very bad baby blues, anytime some one offered to take the baby I would just go to bed and sleep.  It took me 4 years to deal with the depression and in that time I had one more child then became pragnet with my third when I finally seeked treatment for my depression.  I am much better now I do not regreat any of my children.  They are the loves of my life next to my husband.  I belive having a very stong man in your life is the best medicine he keeps me grounded when it comes to going out of my mind with the children.  One of the women on the show said something about being crazy about germs.  I am the same way I make my kids wash there hands as soon as we come home from the store they are not allowed to put there hands in there month.  I do not see a problem with this it is just good hegyne

I have been married for almost 6 years but my husband and I are having a problem. I did one of dr. phil's relastionship tests and my result was "EMOTIONAL DIVORCE" which I would say is right. I have tried so many things, I've taken advice from friends and family and have tried doing the stuff in dr phil's books but nothing seems to be working and I really need to talk to someone.

As I said my husband and I have been married for almost 6 years but we've been together for 12. The problem I think we are having is if something I have done bothers him he will not say anything or try and discuss it but instead he will sulk. He will not speak to me at all (this can go on from 2 weeks to much longer, at the moment the record is 12 weeks) If I ask him what's wrong he becomes more cold towards me. He becomes rude, abrupt has no repesct for me , puts me down when people are around especially his family and all of this happens in front of our 5 year old son. everytime this happens when he does finally decide he wants to talk he tells me what's his problem the last time it was I need to be more organised, coz he hated coming from work to hear our son nag or cry he was hungry because the food wasn't ready. Ever since that discussion he has never come home (not even once) to find that happen coz I have changed for him and our family and make sure the food is cooked before i pick our son up from school. And everytime we have a discussion whatever problem he has with me hardly ever comes up because I do my best to change my bad habits to make him and my son happy, but every single time I ask him to come straight to me if he has a problem because I can not handle the silent treatment from him and I  don't  think my son deserves to live in those conditions as I am afraid he will become that way when he grows up and I am afraid he will disrespect me and women in general because I know my son love me but I also know he tries to plaese his father because he doesn't get the attention he should from him. How can I get through to my husband I see the same thing with his parents and just can't stand to think that, that is our life toghether. I just need someone to talk to or if you've been the same situation and can offer some help then please reply my message.

hi, well im an older mom but i have teenagers and young kids, id like to ask the experts how do i retrain my daughter to use the bathroom instead of her underwear. she even sees a therapist for this. she was trained at 2.5 but now refuses to use the bathroom for a bowel movement and would rather just walk around in it, nothing has worked. i know that some kids regress when a sibling comes along but he will be 2 in march so i dont think thats the problem anymore. im at my wits end with this. she soiled 3 new pair of underwear today, we have put her in pull ups but they are to expensive. we have done what the therapist suggested and not a darn thing is working. so if any experts have any ideas let me know.. ive done the charts, rewards etc.... thanks .............kim

I picked the wrong man and married at 17 and had my first child just after my june birthday.  I was barely 18 years old.  Had the next one at 19, just barely 19.  They were 11 mos apart.  I had three girls after that.  Two wonder boys and three beautiful daughters.  My husband was a rapist (other women) and a thief.  He spent alot of time in jail and I divorced him because he was stealing my money.  He never paid support.  He also beat my two boys.  I raised the children the rest of the time alone.  I kept them in line as I was the mom and they were the children.  I played with them, counted to 3 when they didn't do what I told them.  We were very poor and were grateful for xmas packages from loving strangers.  I didn't go to church with them, I would change that.  4 of my children are gainfully employed and raising their children with the love I poured on the.  One is into addiction.  He is 48 and not likely to change.  He left 3 boys for this choice.  They are doing well though as they have a stepfather who was there.  I'm not an expert, but you have to correct the children when they do wrong, emphasise you still and always will love them.  Don't try to be their friend, just a pal when they need an ear.    I'm 67 now and happy

My suggestion is to have her wear nothing on her bottom half for a while. If that keeps you in the house for a few weeks so be it. I mean having her poop in her pants does too. So what i would do is have her wear a long shirt maybe one of yours or a big one of hers. That way she can' poop in her pants with out you knowing. I would kind of go back to the begaining. Start asking her every hour or so if she has to go. The only time i would have her in underware or pull ups is during naps or what not (if she normally has accadants, So they call them) Oh you never did say how old she is from your numbers i would have to say she's about 4. It that is correct or there abouts than it's not uncommon for children to revert for no reason at all. They can revert from stress of any kind (starting kindergarden, new additions, change in daily schedual, recent vacations, just about anything) Becasue most any event that they don't do every day is a stressful event for kids) good luck

I am a twenty year old mom of a beautiful 4 month old. It seems that she has always had problems since she was born. Here bowels are all messed up. She screams in pain for at least 5 minutes just to have a bowel movement. Her doctor keeps telling us that it is a form of colic. I think otherwise. She refuses to sleep in her own bed, or in the room by herself. She has to sleep with me with my hand on her chest the whole night or she gets all fussy wakes up and cries until I move her. She cant sleep in a room without noise. There has to be the humidifier going and the stereo before she even thinks about going to bed for even a nap. And one last thing...I have started her on rice cereal as of two and a half weeks ago. She seemed to do really good on it but now she can only have a certain amount because it hurts her tummy and goes into the problem with her bowels. What can I do?

You could put her on a bowel training schedule, say every 2 hours.  Have her sit on the toilet for10-15 minutes regardless of whether or not she needs to go.  Also, it might be a physical problem.  Have you seen a pediatric gastroenterologist?  There might be a physical reason why she soils herself. 

I once was a very young 19 year old mother and my daughter would lay in the floor and kick and scream and nothing I did stopped her so I layed down besider her and started kicking and screaming just like she did she was so shocked she got up looked at me and never did her kicking and screaming ever again. Might not hve been the correct thing to do but hey it worked.

Joy Mathea

I had that problem with my son and finally a doctor diagnosed him with a rotating bowel. He had the problem until he was almost a teen. It was then he finally learned to relax and let things happen that his bowel problem got better.