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Topic : 01/26 Bullies

Number of Replies: 388
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Created on : Friday, January 19, 2007, 01:29:59 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Bullying has been making front page news and causing outrage across the country. It’s a dangerous trend that has grown out of control. Dr. Phil plays a disturbing video that has been broadcast all over the Internet and news. Three high school girls brutally pummel a young girl while a video camera captures every slap, punch and horrifying kick. Steve Levy, the Suffolk County Executive, joins Dr. Phil via satellite, to discuss the vicious attack. Then, Natasha is a 15-year-old bully who admits that she has no problem pushing, hitting and cursing out any student who doesn’t do what she says. Natasha faces off with Sarah and Dory, two girls she continually taunts at school every day. Will Sarah and Dory retaliate by resorting to “mean girl” behavior, or will all three come to a compromise? And, Dr. Phil’s son, Jay, has an empowering message for the teens. Plus, the school principal and the parents of Natasha, Sarah and Dory weigh in. Have you been the victim of a bully? Share your story here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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January 21, 2007, 6:23 am CST

Bullies, and how handle them

Ihave found a way to divert bullying for both of my teens.  The older teen 16, has been verbally and physically abused in school.  I launched my own personal campaign by repeated calls to guidance counselors, publishing on the "reader's page" of our local newspaper and virtually becoming a public annoyance through the power of words. 

 

 When action was not taken by the principal and guidance department I went directly to the superintendent of schools and school board meetings.

 

The squeaky wheel DOES get the oil.

 

In the case of my 14 year old whose bike was the subject, we armed him with a walky talky.  He called my husband who responded in 2 minutes, found the 16 year old to be present and called 911.  The boy fled but was arrested.  I spent 4 sessions spanning 4 months in Family Court.  The result was a protective order and probation for the offending youth.

 

No problems have ensued since.   

 
January 21, 2007, 6:45 am CST

I was bullied

 all thru out school I was bullied, they made fun of me, pushed me around, pretended to be my friend and not really be one, one guy punched my face and I am a girl!!! that was 8th grade when that one happened. People are not getting it and wonder why we have so many school shootings..... get a clue! Kids dont shoot other kids because of niceness. NO.... they do it cause they are mad and angry at what others put them thru. They have enough problems the way it is without some other kid at school punking on them day in and day out. My son gets punked on at school, and I do my very best to find out what is going on at school with other kids, and to let him know that what ever they say about him that is not who he is, cause it is true, once they start calling you names over and over again, it sticks. words DO hurt.... I dont believe that old saying at all "sticks and stones..." it is true, words do hurt, and they hurt for a long time. I hope they throw the book at these kids beating up that girl!!!!! Suspension isn't enough. I saw that video on the news and the girls were smiling like it was cool. Their parents must be really ashamed, or I would hope they would be. And get this..... the girl they beat up, wasn't someone older than them, it was someone younger than them!!!!! oooohhh yeah that is cool........beating up on someone smaller and younger than you..... really cool. **rolls eyes***
 
January 21, 2007, 6:48 am CST

Thank the LORD

Quote From: dlsadler

 

I think bulling at school needs to be stopped one way are another. My Grandson was going to school here in Cameron, Texas, & almost ever day he was bullied by some children. He is a very sensitive, caring, & loving boy & little over weight for his age. Everyday he would go home crying because kids made fun of him, called him names & hit on him. They would say vulgar words to him. by all means he is not an Gael either, but he has had to go to ER 's because of some of things that has happen. He would always get punished at school for something the other kids was doing. My daughter went to the school numerous of times to talk to the principal & they always said that they would watch & see. Well, the next day would be the same old thing. She would go again. He was failing in almost all classes here. Nothing ever was done. So this year, my daughter changed schools for him & his younger sister. It is a much smaller school district & now there is no more bulling & he is passing with A's & B's. That is the difference in a child that is being bullied. It must stop. To all parents out thee, pay attention to what your children tell you. Investigate it at school like my daughter did. She saw things with her own eyes & that didn't even help. So really pay attention to your children. That may make all the difference. We love all our children no matter who they are. Thank you for reading this. I hope things get better in school. Dr. Phil, YOU PUT A STOP TO THIS IF AT ALL POSSIBLE.

 

dladler This is for my loving Grandson

Sounds like you raised a smart girl!!! good for her!!! and good for your grandbaby who is now doing better in school!!! I hope everything goes perfect for him now on!!!
 
January 21, 2007, 7:26 am CST

Fed up with Bullies all the way to the police

I have a 13 yr old son that has been bullied since we have moved to this small town Wyoming.  5 months ago he was physically jumped by 2 of them and fought back, the result......a lot of bullying from police, city attorney, principal, and the superintendent.  My son was the one that was charged and the city attorney said in todays society there is no room for self defense.  This kid is still harassing my son at school.  They just look the other way.  My son is now doing 20 hrs community service for just defending himself.  He is the one that feels powerless.  They don't stop.  Then the student resource officer now bullies my son and my 15 yr old daughter.  They are guilty until proven innocent.  As a parent you need to protect your child, but when all the powers are against you, you are truly powerless.  You feel you have no where to turn.  In this small town the cliques are terrible and even we as parents that are new to this town fight the cliques, so we know how are children must feel.  When the powers that be ask themselves why there are school shootings, they need to look at what they are ignoring and pushing aside, and they are the ones truly to blame.  They make the kids feel like they have to protect themselves.
It is truly a sad society, I was one that thought oh not my kid, he can't be being bullied, and I also thought bullying was being exagerrated until now.  If anyone needs support go to bullypolice.com, that is what helped me get through all that I have.  The bullying still continues, we just have to be on alert and we are the ONLY ones that support our son.  The school and authorities are blind, and don't want to deal with it properly.

Michelle
 
January 21, 2007, 7:59 am CST

bullies

Quote From: mommy96

My son has been bullied at his school since kindergarten.  I didn't realize that it was happening until he started throwing up everyday before school.  I finally sat down and asked him what was going on and he told me that several boys at school were beating him up at recess.  I decided to go to the school myself to see if I could catch the boys beating up my son.  I sat there for over an hour until the children came out for recess, no sooner did my son get on the playground the boys were running up behind him and threw him to the ground.  I looked at the supervisors on the playground to see what they were doing and every single one of them were huddled into to groups talking.  I got out of my car and ran over to assist my son, I had every intention on just taking him with me but I didn't want to get into trouble for taking my son off of the school property.  I decided to then go into the school and talk with the principal about what I had just observed on the playground.  The principal  told me and my husband that their supervisors aren't paid very well so you basically get what you pay for!   My son is now in the fifth grade and he still continues to deal with bullies on a daily basis.  My son tries to make friends with other students but they turn him down and tell him that he cannot play with them.  It is heart breaking as a parent to feel so useless in this type of situation.   We've even tried to get the superintendant to meet with us and he replied that is unusual for him to meet with parents.  I have discussed this issue with other people and they feel that I would have a strong legal case against the school but I would rather not have things go that far.  I had wrote a letter to the Dr. Phil show and was given an invitation to be on the show with my son  "Bullies Caught On Tape" but after discussing it with my husband he felt that it might alienate my son even more.  We have taken our son to counseling but that doesn't stop him from being bullied at school.  One day I asked my son to write down how he felt about school, these were his exact words:

 

It feels like that I don't want to ever go to school again.  I just want to make them take those words back.  Or I just want to go to a different school.

I have to deal with this every day of my life except for Saturday and Sunday.   With people make fun me and my friends and hurting us just feel like making them pay back.  And it frustrates me, makes me feel sad, and angry like I just want them to hurt until they can't take it anymore.

 

My heart truly breaks for my son and I'm not really sure where we go from here.......... 

Hello, I was bullied through out school also, I am 38 years old now, and still to this day, some of the things that was done to me continues to haunt me. My mom always told me "animals fight" and she didn't want me to fight to even stick up for myself, and I didn't until my sophmore year in highschool. Once I did fight back, I wasn't picked on quiet as much as I was before, there were still a few that continued, but if it was necessary, I would fight back. I never threw the first hit, I always let them, by saying something like, "if you feel froggy then jump." But, if I got caught at school, and I got licks or detention, or what ever kind of punishment they did to me, then I got double punishment at home. I wasn't just bullied by other students, I was also bullied by teachers. I can't count the times I came home crying because of what a teacher done to me, not because of another student, I just mainly ignored them. but the teachers should've known better.

 

Now, my oldest son, who is 11 years old and also in the fifth grade gets picked on, made fun of a whole lot. Not so much as bullied, but he tries really hard to make close friends, but doesn't have a single TRUE friend. I have told him of my experiences at school growing up also, but, I have told him that if it is necessary to fight then fight, I told him to try not to throw the first punch, but if they wont quit and you feel you need to then do it, yes, you might get your butt kicked, and yes you might get in trouble at school, but you wont get in trouble here at home, and if you get your butt kicked the first time, next time you will be more prepared, and more aware of what you need to do, and they will get their butt kicked. I am not approving of fighting, I want my kids to avoid it at all costs, but sometimes it takes fighting back for them to leave you alone.

If necessary put your child in some kind of self defence classes, and teach him to know when you should and shouldn't fight back. Also, I would go and talk to either your county judge, or a lawyer for other legal steps, since the school isn't backing you up. If you had've excepted to go on the Dr. Phil show, it would've probably stopped the bullies, put a national awareness of this schools neglect in not protecting our children, and given other parents from your school awareness of this happening. If our children don't talk to us, we wont ever know that there are problems with them at school.

 

Thank you and good luck,

Jodi

 

 
January 21, 2007, 8:20 am CST

Bullies

I was teased and tormented through out school also, not only by my peers, but the teachers too. I was accused of things I didn't do, I was told that I wouldn't amount to anything when I grow up, and the teachers would tell other teachers and a few parents, that I was nothing but a trouble maker.

 My mother always told me "animals fight, people don't", and if I got in trouble in school I would get in trouble at home also. When other students would pick on me, or try to get me to fight them, I would turn the other way and walk away from them, but they would then call me chicken, yellow belly, and continue to pick on me and try to get me to fight. I did this up until my sophmore year in high school at which time I had, had enough, and excepted the fact that I would have to suffer the consequences of my actions. So, when I was being tormented, name called, my mom being name called, and all, and they kept telling me "hit me" I told them at that time that if they wanted me to fight and if they felt froggy then go ahead and jump, and then once they took that first swing, I began to fight back, and at this time, it took 4 junior boys to get me off of this girl, I wasn't going to stop. But from that day on, the teasing and tormenting and all got fewer and farther between.

I couldn't do anything about the abuse I received from the teachers, however, since they labled me as a trouble maker, then I tried very hard to live up to it. I would give the teachers a  hard time, I wouldn't do my homework, I did everything I could to let them know they were right, but all along I was only hurting myself.

School shootings and all that kind of stuff, happens because of the cruel acts of other children. I often felt like shooting or "killing" some of the other students that made my life a living hell, but I knew that I would go to prison, and I didn't want that. I understand how kids feel though. It's time for parents to be parents, and teach their kids that it is wrong to make fun of, bully, and torment others, and to teach them that there are consequences for their actions. Teachers need to be more aware of what is going on between their students also, and give more attention to the kids who are the bullies, and reward the other kids for doing what is right.

 

 

 
January 21, 2007, 10:26 am CST

Weither bullying will stop, it up to you.

parents are never around and never teach their kids manners or they tolerate bad behavior. The kids that get bullied and the by standers r idiots why the heck would you let some1 treat you that way or your friend that way? I understand in kindergaten u can't defend yourself but in high school it shouldn't be a problem.
 
January 21, 2007, 10:35 am CST

01/26 Bullies

Quote From: mommy96

My son has been bullied at his school since kindergarten.  I didn't realize that it was happening until he started throwing up everyday before school.  I finally sat down and asked him what was going on and he told me that several boys at school were beating him up at recess.  I decided to go to the school myself to see if I could catch the boys beating up my son.  I sat there for over an hour until the children came out for recess, no sooner did my son get on the playground the boys were running up behind him and threw him to the ground.  I looked at the supervisors on the playground to see what they were doing and every single one of them were huddled into to groups talking.  I got out of my car and ran over to assist my son, I had every intention on just taking him with me but I didn't want to get into trouble for taking my son off of the school property.  I decided to then go into the school and talk with the principal about what I had just observed on the playground.  The principal  told me and my husband that their supervisors aren't paid very well so you basically get what you pay for!   My son is now in the fifth grade and he still continues to deal with bullies on a daily basis.  My son tries to make friends with other students but they turn him down and tell him that he cannot play with them.  It is heart breaking as a parent to feel so useless in this type of situation.   We've even tried to get the superintendant to meet with us and he replied that is unusual for him to meet with parents.  I have discussed this issue with other people and they feel that I would have a strong legal case against the school but I would rather not have things go that far.  I had wrote a letter to the Dr. Phil show and was given an invitation to be on the show with my son  "Bullies Caught On Tape" but after discussing it with my husband he felt that it might alienate my son even more.  We have taken our son to counseling but that doesn't stop him from being bullied at school.  One day I asked my son to write down how he felt about school, these were his exact words:

 

It feels like that I don't want to ever go to school again.  I just want to make them take those words back.  Or I just want to go to a different school.

I have to deal with this every day of my life except for Saturday and Sunday.   With people make fun me and my friends and hurting us just feel like making them pay back.  And it frustrates me, makes me feel sad, and angry like I just want them to hurt until they can't take it anymore.

 

My heart truly breaks for my son and I'm not really sure where we go from here.......... 

You know if you teach him how to react to certain threats it really makes all the diffrence. NEVER think the old fashioned quote: stop, run away and tell a teacher. thats the stupidest thing to do it only makes things worse. And ignoring doesnt work either. I figured out long ago that acting like you enjoy it or saying what the heck to them really works. Or asking what they want, or whats wrong with you. Another good trick is to pretend you're hanging out with some good kids and they will probably leave u alone.

 

I am certain it will get better soon. Like in grade 7 or 8.

 
January 21, 2007, 11:01 am CST

My experience with bullies

I used to get picked on all the time on the bus during middle school (the worst time of my childhood), and got my glasses knocked off of my face by this girl.  My father filed a police report on her for harrassment, and now she has a permanent record.   She was old enough to get consequences for her actions when her parents wouldn't do anything.  Let the other parents know (if you have a bullied kid) that their kid is bullying yours and if they don't do anything about it YOU will!
 
January 21, 2007, 11:07 am CST

bullies

I am a 51 year old women. When I was in grade school I remember a boy chasing me home on his  bicycle and followed me all the way and through snow balls at me to be mean. I remember looking at the classroom clock and not wanting to leave school for fear that I knew that that was going to happen to mean and I was afraid to get going afther school. Then as I got into high school the same things started to happen. To this day I  still remember a boy calling be bad names, those kind of things truely do stick with an indivual for the rest of there live and how the react to certain things in there life. I am involed in certain things in my community, but lack cofidence that I could be a leader. So, I am always a part of something but could never be the leader or orgazier of anything. I feel it has something to do with the way these people treated me as a child growing up, and yes these bullies as they are called really do affect how you think when you are an adult. These people to mature and do grow up in life, but the marks that they left behind them are forever.               Sincerely, Cindy
 
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