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Topic : 01/26 Bullies

Number of Replies: 388
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Created on : Friday, January 19, 2007, 01:29:59 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Bullying has been making front page news and causing outrage across the country. It’s a dangerous trend that has grown out of control. Dr. Phil plays a disturbing video that has been broadcast all over the Internet and news. Three high school girls brutally pummel a young girl while a video camera captures every slap, punch and horrifying kick. Steve Levy, the Suffolk County Executive, joins Dr. Phil via satellite, to discuss the vicious attack. Then, Natasha is a 15-year-old bully who admits that she has no problem pushing, hitting and cursing out any student who doesn’t do what she says. Natasha faces off with Sarah and Dory, two girls she continually taunts at school every day. Will Sarah and Dory retaliate by resorting to “mean girl” behavior, or will all three come to a compromise? And, Dr. Phil’s son, Jay, has an empowering message for the teens. Plus, the school principal and the parents of Natasha, Sarah and Dory weigh in. Have you been the victim of a bully? Share your story here.

Find out what happened on the show.

More January 2007 Show Boards.

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January 22, 2007, 6:26 am CST

bullies on tv

I was watching American Idol last week and it seems to me that we are giving  young people the message that it is o.k. to ridicule and make fun of someone's appearance on national t.v.or where ever.  I read the message board and the women are talking about mean girls, that they call other less popular kids names etc. how about mean judges?!  It doesn't seem to be about the singing. Then on ET some star said that she was watching the show and she almost peed in her pants laughing so hard. What can we expect from our young people if we allow that to be o.k.?  21 million people watch American Idol in the US and probably another 4 or 5 million in Canada. We all see the dreadfull insults a certain Brit did to this young man and we all saw how all three convulsed with laughter after he left. How many of  the 25 or 26 million had tears in their HEART for the young man or did we all laugh so hard we forgot he has feelings, like the kids at school who get called names. It is no different.
 
January 22, 2007, 6:33 am CST

Fighting back

I am 58 years old and when I was in school kids tried to bully me.  I was never skinny but always the smartest person in the class.  I was bullied when I was in the first grade.  I went home crying and my father and mother both told me that fighting was wrong but sometimes necessary.  When I said they were bigger than me, Daddy said to get a big stick.  However, if I started the fight, I would be in serious trouble.  Well, as advised, I tried ignoring the bullies but that didn't work.  After a few weeks, I finally took Dad's advice.  While I was on the playground, the bullies started their usual thing.  I found a big stick and beat the crap out of the leader.  The followers just stood back and watched.  I was never bullied again.  I am against fighting but sometimes you have to fight back. 

 

I have a friend who taught his daughter one of the martial arts.  She was being picked on in school by bigger kids.  Finally, she fought back.  The other kid's parents called the police.  My friend went to court and won his case.  His daughter has the right to defend herself - at least here in the state of Florida.

 
January 22, 2007, 10:37 am CST

Bullies scare the adults.

I was picked on during my whole schooling "career" and I dropped out of college when the teachers got in on the game. I mean come on, failing an exam I was retaking and noticed the teacher deliberately ignoring my indications? (It was a TV camera mounting exam, I was naming every step of mounting it and saw on my paper she didn't write down half of what I said.)

Bullies love to pick on kids for the stupidest reasons. I go picked on for having pimples, for ansering questions right,  for being taller than the boys, or my favorite, for having a bra!

"Nyahaha, Sharon has a bra!"
"DUH!" I replied, "Sharon is a GIRL!"

The principal was a total, pardon the language, douchebag and  never did jacksh*t about it. Mom kept pestering him about the bullying until he came with a solution... Have ME take a psychatric test then send me to the local looney bin for 2 weeks!

It's a Sanatorium, but it's used for 2 things and I don't have tuberculosis. Do the math.

I got punched, kicked, tripped, spat on, pulled on my hair, pushed, you name it, I got it.

Revenge is a dish best served cold they say. How I love seeing all my former bullies being pock-marked, unemployed losers.

As for me, the freak, the misfit, the better off dead?
I just bought a Dodge Caliber 2007 on my own money with no help from my parents, I still live at home but help pay for the food and electricity, got a good paying job and can still moonlight as a cartoonist.

OOOOH YEAH! VICTORY!

And my principal?
Fired.
 
January 22, 2007, 12:15 pm CST

Bullies

Quote From: rosella60

The post from mommy96 really got to me.  I was not at all surprised that this situation went on because teachers were not supervising the playground.  I am very much against public schools for many reasons.  Bullying is a learned behavior and it is either learned in the home from one or both parents, from the babysitter (inappropriate tv shows), or video games.  It can also be learned in public schools from teachers and staff.  I understand why they don't want to take legal steps on this.  So, go and watch the playground as you did and see how many other kids are being bullied.  Do this often and keep a journal of the dates, times, who are the bullies and who are the victims and what the bullies did.  Also the names of those who were out there to supervise the playground but weren't and what they were doing as the abuses went on.  Bullying whether verbal or physical is abuse.  Then find out their names and get together with their parents, as a group, and discuss this and go as a group to the school and see the principal.  If he refuses to do anything, then go straight to the superintendents office and tell them you demand to see him.  If he refuses or tries to have you removed then again, go as a group to your daily paper office and surrounding areas and give them the story and all the details.  Name names if you must of what goes on.  But if you want your child to get an education without the bullying, then RUN don't walk to the school and withdraw him/her and RUN and enroll him/her in a private/Christian school.  You will find you once again have a happy child and he/she is getting a good education.  Don't say you can't afford it.  I was a single mother, bringing home about $60 a week, and I kept my daughter in a private Christian school.  I did not live in government subsidized housing either.  She graduated in 1998 with high honors.  Too much junk goes on in public schools and teachers/principals/superintendents do not care.  They close their eyes and turn their heads to what is going on.  They are there for the money only and to socialize with their colleagues.   So, mommy 96 (and anyone else in this situation), you have to think of the child's emotinal and physical well being first.  Follow thru on these things.  Keep us posted on how things are. 

when I read mommy96 I was thrown back to my own child hood, and I feel for your son. Someone in your son's school should be accountable for allowing that kind of behavior to go on, especially the lunch supervisors, even though they do not get paid much they are still responsible for the children on the play ground. I dont think that it matters if you are in public or private school there is bullies in every school. I attended a private Christian school and I was made fun of the way I dressed in 2nd grade. Once I was in JR high it became even worse and I was a very angry child and I was so tired of the way I was treated that I would fight so that the bullies would just become scared of me and leave me alone. This caused so much havoc for me because I would get in trouble all the time at school. I am 42 years old and I still have ill feelings towards the people who bullied me. I have two children of my own and when they were little they were taught to treat everyone with respect no matter what they dressed like, what color they were, or what religion, or any difference that one person had. My children as adults are the most kind , loving, respectful people. I would suggest getting the authorities involved because  this could cause some major turmoil for anyone being bullied.1. I would suggest talking to the school officials, 2. Talk with the bullies parents, 3. Get the authorities involved. There are laws that protect our children. I feel for anyone who is being bullied and it frustrates me that this mom had to witness it on the playground where she feels that her child should be safe. Good luck to you mommy96.

 
January 22, 2007, 2:20 pm CST

Bullies

I have been campaigning to our school about the bullying behavior that seems to be getting out of hand. I have always taught my children that it is not funny when someone is being bullied and that should they see this happening either they should step in and stop it or tell an adult or someone in authority. There have been situations that they have stepped in and stopped it or told me. Recently, I found out that my youngest daughter participated in bullying behavior and I was horrified. She knows how her father ( who was bullied ) and I ( who was everybody's friend from jocks to thespians, the handicapped, the nerds, all colors and sizes - everyone ). I never in my born day could have ever imagined that my child would do such a thing. I got angry at her, I explained to her what she did wrong, I got the usual apology, but it did not seem sincere. It seemed more that she was sorry she got caught then for what she did. I kept hammering away at the subject. At the fact that she knew how important it was to me that we stop the bullying in our school. I am still angry. She, today, is serving a half hour detention after school not for the bullying but for passing some truly nasty notes about this particular child. Her punishment from me - she is writing a 2 page or more apology to this child for any and all nasty behavior she has done to her. She said the girl was obnoxious and that is why she did it. I told her that she had no idea what this girls homelife was like and that what she called obnoxious was probably just her way of trying to fit in or get attention which she may not get at home, but that it did not give my daughter the right to judge her and frighten her and bully her. When I hammered home the fact that the girl may have cried herself to sleep because of the meanness my daughter and her "friends" showed to this girl, how much she hurt this girls feelings and how my daughter actually would be seen instead of being cool. She finally got the message and cried the right kind of tears. Now I will be contacting the parents of the other children involved and letting them know how their child is bullying children at school and that this has got to stop.
 
January 22, 2007, 2:32 pm CST

bullying

I will be taping the Dr. Phil show and making my daughters both watch it and I will take it with me to my meeting with the principal next week as well as all the other research I have done and all the knowledge of the bullying that is going on at our school. The principal once told me that the teachers don't do too much about it because they are trying to be the students friends and I told him I don't want the teachers to be my daughters' friends, I want them to be adults and teach. That is what they are there for, that is the position they wanted when they applied for the job. I know teaching is a tough job, but I am going to volunteer to gather some parents and teach a class on bullying and peer pressure even sexual harassment. It might embarrass my daughters, but it may save a life and build self esteem for all involved.
 
January 22, 2007, 6:31 pm CST

I sooo agree!

Quote From: rosella60

The post from mommy96 really got to me.  I was not at all surprised that this situation went on because teachers were not supervising the playground.  I am very much against public schools for many reasons.  Bullying is a learned behavior and it is either learned in the home from one or both parents, from the babysitter (inappropriate tv shows), or video games.  It can also be learned in public schools from teachers and staff.  I understand why they don't want to take legal steps on this.  So, go and watch the playground as you did and see how many other kids are being bullied.  Do this often and keep a journal of the dates, times, who are the bullies and who are the victims and what the bullies did.  Also the names of those who were out there to supervise the playground but weren't and what they were doing as the abuses went on.  Bullying whether verbal or physical is abuse.  Then find out their names and get together with their parents, as a group, and discuss this and go as a group to the school and see the principal.  If he refuses to do anything, then go straight to the superintendents office and tell them you demand to see him.  If he refuses or tries to have you removed then again, go as a group to your daily paper office and surrounding areas and give them the story and all the details.  Name names if you must of what goes on.  But if you want your child to get an education without the bullying, then RUN don't walk to the school and withdraw him/her and RUN and enroll him/her in a private/Christian school.  You will find you once again have a happy child and he/she is getting a good education.  Don't say you can't afford it.  I was a single mother, bringing home about $60 a week, and I kept my daughter in a private Christian school.  I did not live in government subsidized housing either.  She graduated in 1998 with high honors.  Too much junk goes on in public schools and teachers/principals/superintendents do not care.  They close their eyes and turn their heads to what is going on.  They are there for the money only and to socialize with their colleagues.   So, mommy 96 (and anyone else in this situation), you have to think of the child's emotinal and physical well being first.  Follow thru on these things.  Keep us posted on how things are. 

Teachers don't do anything.  I know this first hand.  The teachers at my elementary school actually joined in on the torment and encouraged that behavior.  Authority figures that i was supposed to trust backstabbed me.  What kind of message does that send to children?  I think any victim of this should sue the hell out of the teacher, principal, and superintendant.  They have to learn not to treat ppl this way, and if they mess with you- they've opened a Pandora's box that they have NO idea how to close!!!!
 
January 22, 2007, 7:39 pm CST

Neverending Bullying.......................

  I just posted last night about my kids being bullied in school. To help make aware that it is on going and a non stop thing in our school .

   My oldest son came home today angry , because today was another one of those days . I just wish I could take all the anger , and pain , away . I just wish we could just put a stop to it . Of , course the teacher didn't see a thing , and nothing was done .South Carolina , did how ever put in effect new law / and rule for this dealing with school age children. (But it's not going to help if the principals , teachers ,staff members, school district aren't all on the same page.) It's getting so bad everyday. Everyday , it's 10 times worse than the day before.

    It just kills me to see any child that has to go through this . It is so wrong !

 
January 23, 2007, 1:12 am CST

Bullies never change until it's to Late!

Well even at the age of 58 I still run into bullies that seem to believe that the world owes them everything for nothing. As my father told me as a young teen this advice and it still works for me today. "Don't start something you can't finish and if someone pushes it then make sure you don't fight unless you are attacked and then if it is one on one make sure that they never want to engage you again. If their is a crowd of others wanting to get a fight started then hit the biggest mouth person in the nose breaking it! I took his advice as a young teenager and it worked quite well. On the other hand he also told me that if I got my butt kicked then he would make sure it got kicked by him when he got home. Short to the point! I never lost a fight I couldn't get out of. I teach my children these basic rules except for the one about kicking their butt's if they lose a fight. I teach them also verbal judo! Verbal Judo is the simple application of turning the other's anger into telling them that they must of really had a bad day and that my child understands and can side with them about a problem which works quite well and confuses that person, because that person they want to fight has now turned the table to agree with them about whatever the problem is. Myself, I just use another style but I just laugh at that person and walk away unless attacked and then it's their butt that is laying on the ground wondering how the ended up flat on the ground as I am walking away. Sometime with bullies you have to stand your ground even if you have to fight your way out of the situation which is really sad because a bullies is more afraid of themselves and is just wanting attention but going about it the wrong way. In most states it is a criminal offense to assault anyone and it can carry from a fine and community service or prison time and if it is sever it can go to life without parole. My advice is to watch your child's development with other children and watch their inter-actions with other children, even their own brothers and sisters. If you have a child that you see can be bullied then enroll them into a self defense class for their own protection, yet if you do so and you then see that child being aggressive towards other children then pull them out as they will only become better at bulling others. In todays world bulling other children can get that bully put onto a hospital or their grave which is such a sad lose for everyone on both sides. I have raised a son that is now in the U.S. Marines, in boot camp and the whole time he was growing up he never let his temper get the best of him. What he did to was get in touch with the marshal arts org. in our small town and put together with adult supervision a mixed marshal arts fight club with his closet friends to learn how to protect himself and his friend from being attacked by bullies. His record of fights is 13 wins 1 lose and no ties. Word spread like wildfire and those that thought they were tough and were bullies never even attempted to fight my son; as he would tell them if they really wanted to fight then it would be on the mat and with protection and adult supervision. It worked out very well for his friend and himself. I am very proud of my son for being smart enough to find a way to keep from being bullied and from fighting from junior high school to high school. Now look where he is. He graduates from U.S.Marine Boot Camp on Feb.9th, 2007 with no criminal record and he is a very proud young man and has a lot of pride in his decisions he has made growing up.

The saddest thing is most of these children that become bullies are from one parent homes and it takes both parents, even if they are divorced to raise their children and out aside their differences to raise a child or children for their child life and the lives of other children too.

Now, I have two sons serving their country and I am so proud and have so much pride of them both. Thank You, w9f8c4i8i

 
January 23, 2007, 9:13 am CST

I agree!

Quote From: 1stm8t

I was watching American Idol last week and it seems to me that we are giving  young people the message that it is o.k. to ridicule and make fun of someone's appearance on national t.v.or where ever.  I read the message board and the women are talking about mean girls, that they call other less popular kids names etc. how about mean judges?!  It doesn't seem to be about the singing. Then on ET some star said that she was watching the show and she almost peed in her pants laughing so hard. What can we expect from our young people if we allow that to be o.k.?  21 million people watch American Idol in the US and probably another 4 or 5 million in Canada. We all see the dreadfull insults a certain Brit did to this young man and we all saw how all three convulsed with laughter after he left. How many of  the 25 or 26 million had tears in their HEART for the young man or did we all laugh so hard we forgot he has feelings, like the kids at school who get called names. It is no different.

I agree with you 110%! It's such a double standard, no wonder kids are confused! Shows like American Idol only promote the bullying that kids do. They see adults on TV making fun of others because of their differences, and everyone laughs about it! Then, we try to tell kids that it's not OK to make fun of others, and that other people have feelings too. American Idol disgusts me. I refuse to watch shows or movies that promote degrading other people. What message are we sending to our kids? That it's not OK to degrade someone else, but it's OK to watch others do the same thing? Come on now! No wonder kids are so screwed up now and days. Our priorities as a society are so messed up.... Shows like American Idol should be absolutely ashamed of themselves. I don't care if it's for ratings.. People who watch it and get a kick out of it need some serious mental help.

 

BTW, does anyone know of any organization out there that is lobbying against bullying? I wouldn't mind getting involved in something like that...... 

 
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