Message Boards

Topic : 02/01 A Difficult Reunion – Part 1

Number of Replies: 193
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, January 26, 2007, 01:59:13 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil follows the continuing story of Erica, who as a little girl survived the unthinkable. At just 2 years old, she witnessed her father, Mark, murder her mother. Her father spent nearly two decades behind bars for this heinous crime. Now that he has been released from prison, Erica will be reunited with him -- the father who murdered her own mother -- for the first time in over 20 years. In the first of two parts, Dr. Phil arranges a powerful reunion that Erica hopes will bring answers, but instead raises many more questions. When Erica's curiosity turns to anger, her emotions are too much for Mark to bear, and he walks right off the Dr. Phil stage! Tell us what you think!

Find out what happened on the show.

More February 2007 Show Boards.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

February 1, 2007, 9:02 pm CST

I agree with you

Quote From: airca23

thats really not fair for all of you to say i should want to met him and i get over it. why dont you try living your wole life with neither parents. One was dead and never coming back, and one was in prison because he killed her. I cant explain why i was feeling that way. i guess still after all he has done he my father. I;m not going to let anyone make ne fell bad for what I want and how i feel. SO untill you have been though what ive been though you should'nt say those things like; get over it, move on you, i dont understand whay she wants to met him. Since hte show i now know i dont want anything to do with because of what he did i just wanted to meet who my father was and maybe something.  My life is better off without him.

I say if you want to meet him (which you have, as I'm watching the show now)-then I support it 100%!!!  You are only human and you feel the way you feel.  I grew up without a father - granted he did not kill my mother - but in some sense he did take my mother away from me EMOTIONALLY!!  My mother was so depressed and emotionally withdrawn because my father abandoned us, and it was difficult.  I'm the youngest out of three kids and I felt the same way about my father - wanting to meet him. I did and that was it.  We have no relationship, but I think I needed that reunion to have closure.  I think you needed this reunion for the same reason.  And if meeting him to get that closure is what you need to do, then do it.   And well...thats what you did...and now you have that closure.  You'll find now that this was necessary and moving on with your life will be that much easier.  Good luck! 

 
February 1, 2007, 9:04 pm CST

Difficult Reunion

Quote From: killashandra

I just want to say I support any action you take and hope you can get some peace.

Love and support,

Polly

I just wanted 2 reply 2 the people who don't understand what this girl is going thru. I can say fm 1st hand I understand what  she is going thru I'm 36yrs old and I wuz 4yrs old when some1 killed my father and ur rt I don't remember the killing, however I have a newspaper clipping of my dad laying dwn on his back in front of the store he owned and that wuz enough 2 dramatize me. I never knew this pic existed, however I did know a newspaper clipping did exist and I thought I had the only 1, but I guess not, so what I'm saying here is that it does effect u 4 life. I think about my father day in and day out just wondering y this man killed my father and what did I do 2 deserve this, because I believe if my father wuz alive I would have lived a better life than what I did growing up and not only that I recently contacted The Police Dept 2 find out if this man is still walking or in prison and if he's in prison all I can say is I definitely want 2 meet him and ask him y he did what he did, however he won't get no forgiveness fm me @ all, and like that girl said their is a part of us missing and that needs closure. Now 4 any1 2 say 4 give her dad NOT. I understand she wants a dad in her life, but she's been doing fine and living good and has her own family now she doesn't need him in her life other than the void of knowing y. Also the excuse of drugs of y he had killed, that's BS 2. U know rt fm wrong regardless of what u do in life. I've been studying drugs, alcohol and addictions 4 over a yr now it's not the drugs that's just a poor excuse. Also this mans' been locked up 4 about 20yrs clean and sober, so he's way past the withdrawal stage. He knew what he was doing when he got out he knows how 2 say no just like the rest of us, but he chose otherwise. The way he acted on the show 2 day and probably on 2morrow's I can almost guarantee their is no remorse 4 what he did by the way he acted.

 
February 1, 2007, 9:39 pm CST

True freedom

It does no one any good to hate another person. This man was not in his right mind and has to carry the horror of that day in his own mind as well. He needs help to be set free from his addiction, and his daughters need to do the only thing that will truly set them free from being a victim....forgive and move on with their lives. Hating him will keep them in victim mode the rest of their lives. It will be a root of bitterness that will continue to poison their souls until they can see that their father is a victim as well of a beast called drugs. He has no power in himself to control it. He has ruined his own life as well. And I'm sure he wishes every day that he could go back and undo and change that day.

 

Even if he gets defensive and acts hatefully when confronted, it's because he knows no other way to act. Most people don't have the kind of composure or maturty to act any differently if they were in the same scenario. Given the right set of circumstances, we all could be murders.

 

 

 

 
February 1, 2007, 9:44 pm CST

long term recovery program

Quote From: sldente

 I am a recovering addict and have been sober for 15 years.  15 years ago, although I did not do it, I was capable of killing anyone.  I truly felt your Dad was sincere today.  He did a great job for only having 58 days sober.  I so respect you for wanting to have a relationship with him.  I completely understand.  Please, give your dad some time.  He needs to prove himself and that will take awhile for you to trust and believe in him.  If he drinks or uses all bets are off.  But if he stays sober there is great hope for forgiveness on both parts.  Him of himself and you, of him.  I suggest a program called Alanon for you and I suggest that one of your stipulations for you to be willing to mend this relationship is that he go to a LONG term recovery place and 5 meetings (AA) a week,  It will take some time.  It took along time until people believed in me and I had to understand and respect that.  I am a person who lived on the streets, robbed cheated and lied.  I am now a "soccer" mom of two beautiful children and happily married living a very productive life.  Please learn more about addiction.  I believe it was the disease that lead your father to kill your mother.  I can also understand how he used right when he got out of jail.  Jail does not offer a program of recovery and to recover you have to be in a strong program.  Find out more about addiction.  Talked to addicts--we know the power of drugs-under the influence you are capable of anything.  I felt your dad was as humble as he could be today.  Thought he did a great job for 58 days sober.    Let me know when you are on again.  I would love to follow this process.  Pray for your father Sharon sldente@verizon.net
 I beleive that he needs to be in long term recovery, but he has been in  jail and may view any in program like jail, so maybe an outpatien  program would be best. This is such a traggic story and will not come easily together. The emotions of hate, love, fear, wanting, needing a father all are mixed up and have to be sorted out. I bet she wonders what others, family and friends could possibly think?  Like how could you even want to forgive him and call him Dad. I believe that only God could do those things for them and it seems like they both are reaching out to God fo quidance along with the help of Dr. Phil and his staff. God holds both the Father's and Daughters hearts in his hands and yet they have the free will to decide what to do wih all these emotions and if they will move forward. I think that the Father walking off stag was from the emence fear he felt the closer he go to how his actions affected his daughter. I pray for their healing. Sable
 
February 1, 2007, 10:04 pm CST

drug addiction

Hello  i am a recovering alcohol drug addict ..i have 29 years sober and i still remember some BAD things i did under the influence it takes control of your mind , body ,emotions and soul  ..I believe for you to ever have any relationship with your father you will need to understand addiction.  You know it was more drugs that day than it was him
 
February 1, 2007, 10:19 pm CST

hey can u help me out plz?

Quote From: chjude1

 I beleive that he needs to be in long term recovery, but he has been in  jail and may view any in program like jail, so maybe an outpatien  program would be best. This is such a traggic story and will not come easily together. The emotions of hate, love, fear, wanting, needing a father all are mixed up and have to be sorted out. I bet she wonders what others, family and friends could possibly think?  Like how could you even want to forgive him and call him Dad. I believe that only God could do those things for them and it seems like they both are reaching out to God fo quidance along with the help of Dr. Phil and his staff. God holds both the Father's and Daughters hearts in his hands and yet they have the free will to decide what to do wih all these emotions and if they will move forward. I think that the Father walking off stag was from the emence fear he felt the closer he go to how his actions affected his daughter. I pray for their healing. Sable
i got question for u.  The story last week got me wondering this more and more.  THe identity show last week got me wondering bout my own daughter.  She knows who she of course.  She now 6 and starting to develop in certain areas.  Especially lately i noticed when bathing her she starting to get breast tissue already.  I dont understand that bc i didnt start that early nor did my mom.  To answer one question u have-=NO she not over weight.   SHe typical height, weighty for her age.  I feed her normal diet like most preppy parents feed their kids.  She always eats everything on her plate and does drink at least one glass milk every day.  Could the factors be contributing to her hormones or could she just be entering puberty extra EXTRA?? early??  I did talk to to pediatrician bout  it and he didnt have much comment bout it.  Though he hasnt seen her since oct 06 so maybe in his mind she gain extra weight.  Which she didnt do.  She bout 4  1/2 feet tall and bout 60lbs.  Any ideas, suggestions??  My daughter has asked some questions regarding her developing lately and have no answers yet,.. i usually just change the subject to avoid the situation..  aANY TIPS FOR THIS  NEW MOM??
 
February 1, 2007, 10:21 pm CST

hey can u help me out plz?

Quote From: toby841

Hello  i am a recovering alcohol drug addict ..i have 29 years sober and i still remember some BAD things i did under the influence it takes control of your mind , body ,emotions and soul  ..I believe for you to ever have any relationship with your father you will need to understand addiction.  You know it was more drugs that day than it was him
weird to ask u this but she kinda subconscious bout her chest.  I told u bout this the other day and u responded. TY.  Should i always make sure she wearing 2 shirts all the time, especially in summer or wat?  LOL Do they even make bras for girls that age??  Remember she NOT over weidht  she 4 .5 ft tall 64lbs.  She 6.  Any tips, suggestions, ideas?? let me know, ty..
 
February 1, 2007, 10:21 pm CST

hey can u help me out plz?

Quote From: chjude1

 I beleive that he needs to be in long term recovery, but he has been in  jail and may view any in program like jail, so maybe an outpatien  program would be best. This is such a traggic story and will not come easily together. The emotions of hate, love, fear, wanting, needing a father all are mixed up and have to be sorted out. I bet she wonders what others, family and friends could possibly think?  Like how could you even want to forgive him and call him Dad. I believe that only God could do those things for them and it seems like they both are reaching out to God fo quidance along with the help of Dr. Phil and his staff. God holds both the Father's and Daughters hearts in his hands and yet they have the free will to decide what to do wih all these emotions and if they will move forward. I think that the Father walking off stag was from the emence fear he felt the closer he go to how his actions affected his daughter. I pray for their healing. Sable
weird to ask u this but she kinda subconscious bout her chest.  I told u bout this the other day and u responded. TY.  Should i always make sure she wearing 2 shirts all the time, especially in summer or wat?  LOL Do they even make bras for girls that age??  Remember she NOT over weidht  she 4 .5 ft tall 64lbs.  She 6.  Any tips, suggestions, ideas?? let me know, ty..
 
February 1, 2007, 10:33 pm CST

Well said sldente

Quote From: chjude1

 I beleive that he needs to be in long term recovery, but he has been in  jail and may view any in program like jail, so maybe an outpatien  program would be best. This is such a traggic story and will not come easily together. The emotions of hate, love, fear, wanting, needing a father all are mixed up and have to be sorted out. I bet she wonders what others, family and friends could possibly think?  Like how could you even want to forgive him and call him Dad. I believe that only God could do those things for them and it seems like they both are reaching out to God fo quidance along with the help of Dr. Phil and his staff. God holds both the Father's and Daughters hearts in his hands and yet they have the free will to decide what to do wih all these emotions and if they will move forward. I think that the Father walking off stag was from the emence fear he felt the closer he go to how his actions affected his daughter. I pray for their healing. Sable
Well said sldente!  Understanding addiction is the main thing if Erica wants any kind of relationship with her dad.  I applaud her for being strong and doing what she's dreamt of...but she needs to remember that he has a disease and not to mistreat him for what he did or didn't do.
 
February 2, 2007, 5:41 am CST

Im very saddened by this whole mess

I am very saddened by this whole mess. There is a lot of anger here. Is this really helping these girls? We should not tell them what to do or not to do. We should just support them in love. Also their father. Obviously she does love her father or she wouldnt have done this show. My father has done alot of bad throughout my life, but he is STILL my father. Erica, just know that people are praying for you and your family. Even your dad. My prayer is that you would someday somehow find forgiveness.
 
First | Prev | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | Next | Last