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Topic : 02/01 A Difficult Reunion – Part 1

Number of Replies: 193
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, January 26, 2007, 01:59:13 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil follows the continuing story of Erica, who as a little girl survived the unthinkable. At just 2 years old, she witnessed her father, Mark, murder her mother. Her father spent nearly two decades behind bars for this heinous crime. Now that he has been released from prison, Erica will be reunited with him -- the father who murdered her own mother -- for the first time in over 20 years. In the first of two parts, Dr. Phil arranges a powerful reunion that Erica hopes will bring answers, but instead raises many more questions. When Erica's curiosity turns to anger, her emotions are too much for Mark to bear, and he walks right off the Dr. Phil stage! Tell us what you think!

Find out what happened on the show.

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February 1, 2007, 2:13 am CST

you are courageous

i agree with dr phil. if she needs this for closure then so be it and i for one am not one to judge her. she has already had a hard enough time. if she feels that she needs to face this man and get answers to some of her questions then give her the credit she deserves for having the courage to go ahead and ask her questions and demand the answers.
 
February 1, 2007, 7:02 am CST

YOU ARE RIGHT NO BODY KNOW HOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH

Quote From: worriedgrandma

No one knows how they would feel.  All we know is you have lost your mother and your father seems disgusting.

 

I will watch it tomorrow and have only viewed the preview.  I give Dr Phil credit for dealing such topics as abuse.  As with Kaylee;s situation, this one is extremely sad.

 

I send my prayers and best wishes.  I do not think anyone is anywhere except on your side and as just stating that they don't understand.  We can't understand but we can stand by you.  Everything I read hear tells me people are on your side and just cause they don't understand why you wanted to see him, does not mean they think anything is wrong with you, but that they don't feel he is entitle to any of your time.

 

God bless you and all victims of abuse everyway. 

I THINK DR. PHIL IS GREAT TO DO A SHOW OF THIS NATURE TO BE ABLE TO HOPEULLY GIVE YOU SOME PEACE.

I  AM GOING THROUGH A SITUATION THAT HAS MAKE MY LIFE A WHIRL WIND. YOU SEE MY MOTHER DIDN'T RAISE ME, FOR RESAON I'M NOW JUST BEGINING TO FIND OUT. THERE IS A LOT OF STORIES OUT THERE AND I WANT TO FIND THE TRUTH. I FEEL I HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO THIS. I HAVE TWO SETS OF PARENTS AND ALL ARE GONE WITH THE EXCEPTION OF MY STEP DAD. I LOST MY REAL MOTHER IN DECEMBER 2006. I HAD MET HER TWENTY FIVE YEARS AGO. WE HAD OUR FIGHT AND DISAGREEMENTS BUT IN THE LONG RUN WE GREW TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER, FOR WHICH I WAS VERY GRATEFUL FOR. MY FAMILY THAT RAISE ME, I WAS THE OLDEST OF FOUR OTHER SIBLING. I REALLY DON'T THINK ANY OF THEM KNOW THE REAL TRUTH. I'M  NOT OUT TO HURT ANYONE. WE WILL ALL STILL BE SISTER'S AND BROTHER'S TIL THE DAY WE DIE. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY SOME OF THESE LIES WERE TOLD, EXCEPT TO STOP THE QUESTIONS THAT WERE BEING ASKED.

YOU HAVE COURAGE TO BE ABLE TO STAND THERE AND ASK YOUR QUESTIONS AND I FEEL YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO HAVE HIM ANSWER THEM, NO MATTER HOW UPTIGHT HE GET. BY HIM WALKING OFF STAGE TELLS ME THAT HE HASN'T EVEN BEEN ABLE TO DEAL WITH WHAT HE DID TO YOUR MOTHER.  I HOPE THIS WILL GIVE YOU PEACE SO YOU MAY MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU AND EVRYONE WHO HAS BEEN ABUSED BY ANYONE.

 
February 1, 2007, 7:24 am CST

YOU MISSED THE POINT OF THE SHOW

Quote From: lynnie59

Our family watched this show, and CANNOT understand the need to meet, talk, give the time of day to this person who murdered their mother!!  Forget it! He's not worth it and there's no good to come from this "reunion".... it's unhealthy, sick and cruel. I do think it is disrespectful to the mother to have any desire to meet the man who killed her in cold blood! no way.

 

I have personal experience with a father who molested me, gave up his parental rights in exchange for never having to pay the child support he owed my mother and any future child support....

 

Not every man is a father or a person who deserves to be given a second chance, this is definitely one of those situations.. there are other people this woman can get love and support from in her life. This guy is sick and why he was not executed for the murder he committed is another question, let alone he is now out and FREE???? and we call this justice for the victims??? I don't think so....

 

this show irritated me and my family, we thought Dr. Phil should've counseled this woman to move on, this man took her mother away and he has issues.

 

We think he missed the boat on this show for sure...

EVERYONE WHO HAS TRAGEDY IN THEIR LIVES AND IF IT HELP THEM TO MOVE FORWARD INLIFE FOR THE BETTER. THAN WHY NOT FACE THE PERSON WHO DID THIS CRIME TO HER MOTHER. I GIVE HER CREDIT FOR HAVING THE GUTS TO DO THE SHOW WITH DR. PHIL. SHE WANTED ANSWER FROM THE ONLY PERSON WHO COULD ANSWER THEM!!!!!!!

YOU KNOW THEIR ARE CHILDREN OUT THERE IN THE WORLD WHO HAVE HAD TRAGIC THINGS HAPPEN IN THEIR LIVES THAT CAN'T HANDLE THE PROBLEMS THAT CA ARISE FROM SUCH ISSUES. THIS IS WHERE SOME OF THESE KIDS GO WRONG, THEY TURN OUT TO BE THE SAME WAY, JUST WITH DIFFERENT KINDS OF EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS.

ALL DR. PHIL WAS DOING, NOW KEEP IN MIND THIS IS JUST MU OWN PERSONAL OPINION, IN WHICH EVRYONE IS ENTITLED TO.

I ADMIRE FOR HAVING THE COURAGE TO DO THIS SHOW ON NATIONAL TV. YOU GO GIRL AND I HOPE THIS WILL GIVE YOU SOME PEACE.

 
February 1, 2007, 7:27 am CST

the worst thing you could ever do

What do people do when they fully realize that they have done something so terrible, so horrific that it has hurt others beyond repair?  Is there any way back to a healed relationship? Is there ANYTHING that the person can do? I think that everyone should take a moment and think hard about the meanest, most dishonest, most horrible thing that they have ever done. How do you feel about it? Did you say you were sorry? Make amends? Is it still affecting you and your relationships now? Are you sorry? Would you do something about it if you could? Now, multiply that wrong by 100,000 or 1,000,000 and you MIGHT get close to what Mark did and has to live with for the rest of his life. Most of us cannot even imagine doing something so terrible. He killed his wife and orphaned and abandoned his children. He went to prison and took solace in drugs. Now, at his daughters and Dr Phils request, he has cleaned up and come forward to allow his daughter to confront him. He put himself on national television to be vilified by millions of viewers. Enough already. Point made. Mark has to live with himself. He took away everything from his family and lost everything himself. There is absolutely nothing that he could say that would make a difference. He did what he did and he has to live with that for the rest of his life. Mark said that he has forgiven himself and I think that he has BEGUN to forgive himself and that is good and appropriate because he will have to fight hard to stay off drugs and to have some kind of life. I applaud Erica for wanting to see her father. I understand from a post in the guestbook that she has decided to move on. That is her choice and I applaud her again for taking the action that she needs for a good life. She more than deserves it and I believe that her mother is looking down on her and cheering her on. She certainly is a daughter to be proud of. These stories are just plain tragic. Hopefully, this story will help someone else BEFORE something terrible happens.
 
February 1, 2007, 7:36 am CST

So sad..

Today's show was just heartbreaking for everyone involved. I give both the daughters AND the father credit for coming on the show to try and work through this. I was glad to see that the father did not try to make any excuses for murdering their mother. However, I don't think Erica will ever get the answers she is looking for. I do hope, and I do think Erica recieved some closure though. No matter what the father has to say to the girls, it won't be good enough for them. And of course, that's perfectly fine! He flat out murdered their mother, and there is and was no excuse for it, no easy or right way to explain it, and no words that will ever let the girls forgive or forget what happened.

 

I think Erica got to ask the questions she has been wanting to ask for the past 20 some years, but I don't think Erica or her sister will ever hear the answers they want or need to hear to make the pain go away. I'm interested to see tomorrow's show. It looks like Erica's sister holds a lot more anger towards her father. I'm just glad to see them both releasing all this and making steps towards moving on. I wish them all the best!

 
February 1, 2007, 8:06 am CST

My heart breaks for all of you!!

Quote From: worriedgrandma

No one knows how they would feel.  All we know is you have lost your mother and your father seems disgusting.

 

I will watch it tomorrow and have only viewed the preview.  I give Dr Phil credit for dealing such topics as abuse.  As with Kaylee;s situation, this one is extremely sad.

 

I send my prayers and best wishes.  I do not think anyone is anywhere except on your side and as just stating that they don't understand.  We can't understand but we can stand by you.  Everything I read hear tells me people are on your side and just cause they don't understand why you wanted to see him, does not mean they think anything is wrong with you, but that they don't feel he is entitle to any of your time.

 

God bless you and all victims of abuse everyway. 

Sweetheart, What you are going through is terrible, none of us can imagine your pain, my heart goes out to you, but you are doing the right thing, you do need closure, and your own feelings are all that matters, you were only two when all of this happened, you were too young to have formed your own opinion of your father, you are being told what you should feel, but only you know what is in your heart! what your father did was horrific, but as both of you mentioned your faith in God, all I can say is God is a merciful and forgiving God, that's why we are all so blessed, as he forgave the ones that murdered him and hung him on the cross, are we to do any less? I am not saying he desreves a relationship with you or your sister, but for your own peace I think you need to forgive, you'll never forget, but forgivenness can offer you your own peace.  You can not continue to live with bitterness and haterd in your heart, those are destructive emotions, after all you've been through the best medicine is to find a purpose in this tragedy, whether as an advocate for other child victims, or just in living well in spite of your own victimization,  cling to your faith, know in your heart you are a better person and let God's love continue to shine through from you and let it be a witness to those who lack your faith and sweet spirit. You take care honey and if you ever need a frd. to talk to my e-mail is angelaouzts@yahoo.com. Love in Christ, Angela
 
February 1, 2007, 8:06 am CST

The daughter needs to do this, so it's ok

WHATEVER it takes for the victim (in this case the daughter) to move forward in her life and achieve both emotional health and happiness is what NEEDS to be done. If confronting her father is what is needed, than good for her (and for him).

.
If she is waiting for answers that make sense (there are none for murder), than she will forever be stuck in a very sad place.

.

May she forgive (for her sake and for God's) and move forward in her life. I cannot watch tonight's episode due to travel, but I pray that this young woman is going to move forward in her life and not hand over control to her father (being angry 24/ 7 is giving away ones power). Forgiving and moving forward is the best way for her to honor her mother. Any decent mother would want this for her child.

 
February 1, 2007, 8:15 am CST

Why can't you understand???

Quote From: lynnie59

Our family watched this show, and CANNOT understand the need to meet, talk, give the time of day to this person who murdered their mother!!  Forget it! He's not worth it and there's no good to come from this "reunion".... it's unhealthy, sick and cruel. I do think it is disrespectful to the mother to have any desire to meet the man who killed her in cold blood! no way.

 

I have personal experience with a father who molested me, gave up his parental rights in exchange for never having to pay the child support he owed my mother and any future child support....

 

Not every man is a father or a person who deserves to be given a second chance, this is definitely one of those situations.. there are other people this woman can get love and support from in her life. This guy is sick and why he was not executed for the murder he committed is another question, let alone he is now out and FREE???? and we call this justice for the victims??? I don't think so....

 

this show irritated me and my family, we thought Dr. Phil should've counseled this woman to move on, this man took her mother away and he has issues.

 

We think he missed the boat on this show for sure...

Just because YOU didn't need this type of closure doesn't mean others don't. We are all individuals with different wants and needs.

.

I carried brick (of hatred and resentment) on my shoulders and into all my relationships until I decided to FORGIVE my father. For me, it's what changed my life for the better. He no longer controls me, I finally appreciate all the good that was in him (he made horrible mistakes, but his love for me was always evident...he just didn't know how to parent!) and I wake up with a clean slate (of happiess) every single morning. I also have a great relationship w/ a dying man who now has a daughter that has forgiven him and moved forward. I LOVE my father. I hate what he did to me, my sister and my mother, but I still love him. Forgiving does not mean forgetting.

.

See, we are all different. Dr. Phil didn't miss any boat. You apparently have missed out on the part about people being individuals with different needs (different needs to be ABLE to move on). Please don't look down on others for needing something different than you do.  The daughter deserves credit for being strong enough to face the man who killed her mother.

 
February 1, 2007, 8:44 am CST

Understand

Quote From: grammatere

i agree with dr phil. if she needs this for closure then so be it and i for one am not one to judge her. she has already had a hard enough time. if she feels that she needs to face this man and get answers to some of her questions then give her the credit she deserves for having the courage to go ahead and ask her questions and demand the answers.
Although I can't understand exactly what you have gone through I do feel your pain. Whatever you need to do to make yourself feel better you should. Tears were in my eyes when you shook when your father was walking on stage. Your story reminded me of my friend who was 21 when she was murdered by the father of her child. She was also murdered in front of her son. Their child was 9 months old at the time. I wonder what happens to someone so young that has had that happen to them. I wonder what he will do when his father is out also in 21 years from than. I believe in the death penalty but it's not my place to tell someone else how to live their life. I lost my dad when I was 3 and my mother when I was 11 so I understand how any child would want to know more of their parents. I'm glad you and your sister have each other. Thank you for telling your story and I hope Dr. Phil helped you find the closure you needed.
 
February 1, 2007, 8:57 am CST

I THINK YOU ARE EXACTLY RIGHT

Quote From: dazed101

EVERYONE WHO HAS TRAGEDY IN THEIR LIVES AND IF IT HELP THEM TO MOVE FORWARD INLIFE FOR THE BETTER. THAN WHY NOT FACE THE PERSON WHO DID THIS CRIME TO HER MOTHER. I GIVE HER CREDIT FOR HAVING THE GUTS TO DO THE SHOW WITH DR. PHIL. SHE WANTED ANSWER FROM THE ONLY PERSON WHO COULD ANSWER THEM!!!!!!!

YOU KNOW THEIR ARE CHILDREN OUT THERE IN THE WORLD WHO HAVE HAD TRAGIC THINGS HAPPEN IN THEIR LIVES THAT CAN'T HANDLE THE PROBLEMS THAT CA ARISE FROM SUCH ISSUES. THIS IS WHERE SOME OF THESE KIDS GO WRONG, THEY TURN OUT TO BE THE SAME WAY, JUST WITH DIFFERENT KINDS OF EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS.

ALL DR. PHIL WAS DOING, NOW KEEP IN MIND THIS IS JUST MU OWN PERSONAL OPINION, IN WHICH EVRYONE IS ENTITLED TO.

I ADMIRE FOR HAVING THE COURAGE TO DO THIS SHOW ON NATIONAL TV. YOU GO GIRL AND I HOPE THIS WILL GIVE YOU SOME PEACE.

I THINK YOU ARE EXACTLY RIGHT BUT ALSO IN THE SAME BREATH THAT IS HER FATHER. I KNOW YOU HAVE HEARD THE SAYING ANYONE CAN BE A FATHER BUT IT TAKES SOMEONE SPECIAL TO BE A DADDY!!  JUST BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO CONFRONT HIM DOES NOT MEAN THAT SHE IS GOING TO PRETEND LIKE NOTHING EVER HAPPENED AND TAKE HIM BACK AS HER DAD!! IT JUST FRUSTRATES ME THAT SOME PEOPLE ARE SO SHALLOW MINDED AND DONT THINK ABOUT ANYONE BUT  THEMSELVES AND THEIR FEELINGS. I KNOW EVERYONE IS ENTITLED TO THEIR OPINION BUT CUTTING THIS GIRL DOWN BECAUSE SHE HAD ENOUGH GUTS TO QUESTION THE MAN ABOUT WHAT HE DID TO HER MOTHER, COME ON NOW GIVE HER A LITTLE BIT OF RESPECT I THINK SHE IS VERY COURAGIOUS AND MYSELF I DONT THINK I COULD DO IT. MORE POWER TO HER. MY HONEST TO GOODNESS OPINION IT TAKES TIME TO HEAL AND MAYBE SHE HAS HAD ENOUGH TIME TO HEAL BUT MAYBE SHE HAS NOT.  IF SHE HAS GOOD AND IF THAT IS WHAT SHE WANTS IS TO GET TO KNOW HER FATHER WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE HER?  OTHER THAN JUST SOMEBODY THIS GIRL DONT EVEN KNOW PASSING OUR JUDGEMENT OFF ON HER  HoPe EvErYoNe HaS a WoNdErFuL dAy

 
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