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Topic : 02/02 A Difficult Reunion – Part 2

Number of Replies: 337
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Created on : Friday, January 26, 2007, 02:00:37 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
After 20 years, Erica finally gets the chance to ask her father, Mark, all of the questions that have tormented her for years. Then Dr. Phil comes at the recovering drug-addict with some tough questions of his own. Refusing to let Mark walk away from his daughter after all she's been through, Dr. Phil goes backstage to confront him and convince this belligerent ex-convict to quell his anger and continue the conversation with his adult daughter. Sparks fly among Dr. Phil, Mark, and Erica, but when Erica's older sister, Rachel, and Aunt Denise decide they are also ready to confront Mark, this explosive emotional reunion is something you have to see to believe. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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February 2, 2007, 8:32 am CST

"CONS": (def) Felons(Murderers, Die-hard Criminals)

"CONS", as in Convicts:(self-definition) a respectable term used by felons about certain felons(Murderers, violent Criminals) based on the world of prison's rules. That's a good "title" in prisons and a code of conduct amongst Offenders. They use words like po-lice. individuals, and have more subtle excuses than anyone  to avoid taking HONEST, FULL, RESPONSIBILITY for their offenses. Liars.

 

Murderer Dad is lying to himself and his daughters and ex-sister-in-law.

 

I write this waiting to hear whether my ex-husband is going to get a "Repeat Offender" sentence for his third felony in a year. He has spent 15 years, two-for-one on a thirty, for Burglary with bodily injury(against an elderly man who walked in on the burglary)  in prison. Six months on a year for domestic violence against me and my two children. Two and a half years for Rape. A domestic abuser, as well, he has been convicted of violent crimes for over 40 years. Lies can sound like truth and their manipulation techniques are honed skillfully.

 

I feel very compassionate towards these women. My heart understands and sees down a very hurtful, long road. It might just as well have been my ex-husband speaking because they sound just the same. Act just the same. It was spooky and opened my eyes. Please take care, ladies. The ever-so-convenient excuses of being drunk or stoned and "I didn't do it on purpose" turns my stomach. Cuts to the core of my humanity. Sickening. I understand their needs but I also understand the real need that is unrealized in them. There are other ways to meet this need! Good luck!!

 
February 2, 2007, 8:34 am CST

Be strong, Erica!

Erica, I am the mother of 4 children ages 28, 23, 21 and 18.  I, myself am a survivor of domestic violence. Nothing to compare to what you went through.  My children's father broke over 27 bones in my body in 16 years of marriage and our marriage ended when we raped our oldest daughter.  My daughter testified to have her father put in jail and save the rest of the family.  I however, also have a younger daughter that whats a relationship with her father and so I truely understand where you are.  Regardless of what the meaness did, the man is part of who you are and you have the right and deserve to know what made you who you are. Just protect your heart.  You are a beautiful you lady your aunt has done a wonderful job raising you and your sister.  Keep your loving heart and protect yourself.  Your sister has the right and obligation(hard word) to want to protect you - what your father did was horrible and very wrong - he robbed you of your mother and of your father - only you can make the stand and share the love you decide to share.  Bless you remember there is only one Erica - you!
 
February 2, 2007, 8:39 am CST

god bless Dr. Phil

 This was an incredily emotional show including anger, sadness , pain, &  forgivness ,just to name a few.  It is not for anyone of us to say whether she should allow her father to be a part of her life or not.  That is only for her to choose.  I hope the very very best for her.  I don't think anyone can understand her pain.  The pain of losing a mother.  The pain of losing a father. The guilt and pain for even wanting to forgive him.  She needs to figure out where he fit into her life, if at all. 
The one thing that bothered me the MOST was that he did not take the oppertunity (at least to us as the viewers) to thank the aunt for being there for those kids.  I am sooo proud of her .
 
February 2, 2007, 8:47 am CST

02/02 A Difficult Reunion – Part 2

Well, I'm not supporting Ericas father in any way but you have to give him credit for cleaning up his act because I had a father who a year ago ended up killing himself because he was a junkie. I really think that Marks actions were balsy and I give him 100% credit with going through with this television confrontation.
 
February 2, 2007, 8:57 am CST

Erica... god bless you and your family

Erica,

 

I commend you for being brave and wanting to have a relationship with your father.  I’m not sure how I’d react to this situation were it my own.  I am very proud of you for taking the steps you felt necessary in seeking closure and moving on with your life by going through this experience.  I’m confidant that your father is truly remorseful for his actions and hopefully in therapy he confides within himself exactly what he did and own up to it.  I don’t think you owe your father one iota and by giving him this chance your showing your true colors.  I personally feel that no matter how much therapy, treatment, etc., that you or your father goes though, this tragic event will always remain with the two of you.  With that said…

 

It is my prayer that this process does not complicate the situation anymore than it has already.  I am also praying that somehow your sister Rachael comes to grips with her anger, frustrations, feelings though your process and one day will desire to reunite too.  To the person whom called your father a “sperm donor” above, you’re cold because if you watched the show, you could feel that he truly loved his wife and surly love his daughters.  He said he was committed to doing whatever was necessary.  Please give them a chance to work this out.

 

Erica, may god continue to bless you and your family and you make the very best of what you have.  This story has touched me immensely because of the tragedy that you have been through and your willingness to have a relationship with your father.    

 

Please keep us posted on the status of your relationship with your father.

 

We love you (and don’t even know you)!

 

P.S.  If you want to reach me to keep in touch, contact Dr. Phil, my contact information is in my profile.  Good luck!

 
February 2, 2007, 9:10 am CST

You do what you need to do...

Quote From: airca23

this is me Erica. i agree with you on the forgiveness part and your the first person on here to support me if i wanted a relastionship. NOW ON THE MURDER PART I DONT CARE WHAT THE REASSON WAS HE COLD BLOODED MURDED MY MOTHER BECAUSE HE WAS CRAZY. SO THATS ALL ANYINE NEEDs TO KNOW ABOUT THAT. But i have came to a point in  my life where i have to forgive. I know my mother has and she would want me to di the same. I leave the judgeing up to the higher power because thats who counts. as for a relationship with my fater i now know thats not good for me. I just cant!!!!!!!!!

Are you saying from your post that you can't have a relationship with your father?  I know this show was taped over three months ago and three months is not long enough to work through all the issues.  Can you share with us what has taken place from the taping of the how?  I know it's goign to be hard to have a relationship with your father but please, please, give it time.  I think your father has alot of issues he needs to work on, the drugs being one of them.  Hopefully this is you posting this message and you will reply with feedback as to what's taken place.  Whatever you decide to do, it's your choice and I respect you for it.
 
February 2, 2007, 9:13 am CST

Good Question

Quote From: jayehboyd

 Do Children of such a young age truly have memories of this event or have they been conditioned through the years?
I don't have the complete answer to your question.  I can tell you that I do remember things from age four and I know several people who can remember thing from even younger ages.  Personally I think they can remember some things, but we have to keep in mind they had no frame of reference for the memory.  A child that young cannot possibly grasp the gravity of such an event.  In fairness, I should point out that their aunt seems to have forgiven him and clearly stated she knows he loved her sister.  That makes me wonder about any conditioning.
 
February 2, 2007, 9:18 am CST

Life with Forgiveness

 I have been in a very similar situation as Erica. The only difference is...my father's many attempts, thankfully never ended my mothers life.  I sat and watched all three shows and cried right along with Erica. I feel that it takes a much stronger person to forgive than to hold that hatred and hurt in and let the person keep you in pain. She is a very Strong and beautiful person. Though by no means are drugs an excuse for anything, there is a truth to how the alter a persons life, mind, and well being. I truly believe in my heart my father would have never even tried to kill me mom if he wasn't under the influence of drugs and alcohol. I have been through and seen a lot in my life and in my growing up. I thank God everyday for all of it. If it wasn't for what I have been through and seen I would not be the person I am today. And that is a very Strong, independent, beautiful person inside and out, with a loving husband, and two wonderful children. I have forgiven my father and turned it over to God.
 
February 2, 2007, 9:22 am CST

Judgement

Quote From: leighanne

Erica, I am the mother of 4 children ages 28, 23, 21 and 18. I, myself am a survivor of domestic violence. Nothing to compare to what you went through. My children's father broke over 27 bones in my body in 16 years of marriage and our marriage ended when we raped our oldest daughter. My daughter testified to have her father put in jail and save the rest of the family. I however, also have a younger daughter that whats a relationship with her father and so I truely understand where you are. Regardless of what the meaness did, the man is part of who you are and you have the right and deserve to know what made you who you are. Just protect your heart. You are a beautiful you lady your aunt has done a wonderful job raising you and your sister. Keep your loving heart and protect yourself. Your sister has the right and obligation(hard word) to want to protect you - what your father did was horrible and very wrong - he robbed you of your mother and of your father - only you can make the stand and share the love you decide to share. Bless you remember there is only one Erica - you!

People need to think about what they are saying.  YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEIRPAST WAS......I'm sure they both loved their children but things got out of control the horrible days 20 years ago.     The daughters have been conditioned to believe one side of the story fine the man was an ass.   Like I said there are two sides to every story.  I know from my past life experience i was not perfect nor my husband we were young dumb though twe knew it all and we knew **** 

 
February 2, 2007, 9:24 am CST

02/02 A Difficult Reunion – Part 2

Quote From: idlawly

"CONS", as in Convicts:(self-definition) a respectable term used by felons about certain felons(Murderers, violent Criminals) based on the world of prison's rules. That's a good "title" in prisons and a code of conduct amongst Offenders. They use words like po-lice. individuals, and have more subtle excuses than anyone  to avoid taking HONEST, FULL, RESPONSIBILITY for their offenses. Liars.

 

Murderer Dad is lying to himself and his daughters and ex-sister-in-law.

 

I write this waiting to hear whether my ex-husband is going to get a "Repeat Offender" sentence for his third felony in a year. He has spent 15 years, two-for-one on a thirty, for Burglary with bodily injury(against an elderly man who walked in on the burglary)  in prison. Six months on a year for domestic violence against me and my two children. Two and a half years for Rape. A domestic abuser, as well, he has been convicted of violent crimes for over 40 years. Lies can sound like truth and their manipulation techniques are honed skillfully.

 

I feel very compassionate towards these women. My heart understands and sees down a very hurtful, long road. It might just as well have been my ex-husband speaking because they sound just the same. Act just the same. It was spooky and opened my eyes. Please take care, ladies. The ever-so-convenient excuses of being drunk or stoned and "I didn't do it on purpose" turns my stomach. Cuts to the core of my humanity. Sickening. I understand their needs but I also understand the real need that is unrealized in them. There are other ways to meet this need! Good luck!!

wow sounds like your ex isn't as much of a ex as you should keep him your very much up to date with his life, maybe you would find peace if you would just learn what being ex means, it means no longer being a part of or a party to, thus forming the meaning ex-husband, you follow him with a vengeance and judge all by his actions, if you would foucus your life on you and not your ex-husband so much you would find there is a lot of fun and love waiting for you to join in on,your missing out on a lot of true love folling your ex- husbands lifes problems so closely, my dear let him go put him and all his problems behind you where they belong, he is your ex no longer a part of you. i really hope your life gets better for you no one deserves to have such pain clinging to them as you seem to have clinging to you!
 
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