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Topic : 07/27 Adoptions Scams, Part 2

Number of Replies: 473
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Created on : Thursday, February 15, 2007, 04:45:52 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 02/23) The story of Marie, Crissy and Jen continues. These three potential adoptive mothers were scammed by Melissa, a woman who claimed to be pregnant with a child meant for them. When the baby turned out to be a fraud, they say they and several others were left with nothing but a handful of lies and a nursery full of heartache. Melissa agreed to meet Crissy face to face, but can Dr. Phil convince her to give the same satisfaction to her other two accusers? Follow what happens when Melissa succumbs to an emotional meltdown. Plus, having been badly burned in their efforts to adopt, what’s next for Marie, Crissy and Jen? Can they ever build enough trust to enter the adoption arena again? Hear what Dr. Phil thinks they should do. Plus, find out what happened to another couple desperate to adopt after the Dr. Phil show gave their efforts a little boost. Join the discussion!

Find out what happened on the show.

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February 23, 2007, 8:05 am CST

Oh Really

Quote From: thankfulpeach

What I don't understand is why everyone feels so extremely sorry for women who want to adopt a baby, but NO ONE takes any consideration that the baby they buy and beg for LOSES its mother in order to fulfill another woman's desire.  The baby is truly a commodity in a buy and sell system.  So obvious when you see shows like this where the women are so desparate.  The babies grow up and realize the transaction, and are appalled that we are part of an elaborate business.  No human rights, as even our very identity and birth certificate are sealed from us indefinately.   Since when is it ethical to "advertise and market" for a human life?  Babies are not blank slates that society can just play "musical parents" with and change their identity to serve adult purposes.  Adoption should only happen when a grieving child has lost their entire biological family in a tragedy (not advertised for and begged for and money exchanged) and even then their birth certificates and identities should not be changed and falsified.   Dr. Phil kept telling this scammer that she "owes" these women an apology.  I think the babies of adoption are owed an apology, instead of being completely ignored for the fulfillment of others.   

The babie's should have to stay with the mother even if she is a drug user?  How about if there is already 5 or more siblings in the family and the new baby is doomed to poverty.  You're  right it is much better for the baby to stay with the biological parent and be raised on public assistance with no hope of getting an education or enjoying all the things that make childhood fun like, soccer, family vacations, new bikes etc.   A child is always better off in a stable, financially secure 2 parent home.  But stick your head back in the sand, I would hate for your ears to get cold.

 
February 23, 2007, 8:24 am CST

02/23 Adoptions Scams, Part 2

Quote From: kphilips10

I have never understood the urgency and desperation women feel to have children.  Life doesn't end or a person is not a failure if they don't have children.  Channel that energy into something positive, such as being a foster parent or volunteering at a children's hospital.  If a woman can't conceive or carry to term, mother nature has a reason for that.  I don't think all the money and time spent on in vitro and artificial insemination is a good way to spend it.  Why set yourself up for hurt?  Do good with your time and money!

 

I do think this woman should go to jail - not for the hurt she caused but for stealing money and fraud.  If I was looking to adopt a child, I would certainly spend the money to do back ground checks on the person, agency, lawyer, whatever.  After all, this would be a drop in the bucket when you add it in to the overall cost.  And where are the husbands??

Everyone is different with their purpose in life and some women, like myself, feel a strong desire to become a mother.  There are infertility problems and my husband and I did decide that maybe not having children the "conventional" way was in the cards for us and that we were meant to adopt and to give children a good and stable home and someone to call mom and dad...Now we did not go forward with AI and InVitro after stim meds were unsuccessful, that was our choice.  We will keep trying for our own and if it happens, it will happen, if not we will still be loving and caring parents.  Going into the adoption process we were aware of the potential let downs along the way...and we have had some speed bumps and a very large road block, but we have moved on and are beginning the process again...and will hopefully bring justice to the social worker who wronged us so she will be unable to hurt anyone else in their pursuit of adoption. 
 
February 23, 2007, 8:30 am CST

adoption scam

Quote From: jadebear

I'm glad they are getting help to find a child. Will Melissa still be prosecuted? I have a feeling if the FBI searched her house already, it was a federal crime and she perpetrated fraud across state lines. She could still be held accountable in court.  I still don't know if she is just more sorry about that. Anyway, there are a few trolls popping up on this board who are on the site just to stir things up. Best to ignore them.
I am happy that  dr.phil can help people adopt. My daughter has had her heart broke so many time not being able to conceive, finally they were blessed with a boy, then when he got big enough he wanted a brother,they thought about adoption, then my great niece had a baby girl that my 72 yr old sister was trying to raise, she past away when the baby was 18 mos.there was no one able to take the baby so my daughter and her family took her, her mother gave them permission to adobt her,the mother got pregnant again this time had a boy she the courts let her keep him until he was 16 mos. he was taken away from her 2 times the second time my daughter stepped in and got him before he was taken to a foster home for a year. her and he husband are hoping to adopt him. Brady is the best big brother you could ask for, he is eleven years old and has never been real jealous, but has always helped out with the other 2 this is one happy family and we thank God for these children. I sincerly hope theses ladys can soon find that special baby that needs the love they have to give. My daughter road has been a heart broken one with a happy ending for her and her whole family. God Bless    
 
February 23, 2007, 8:30 am CST

Let's talk about the real victims

I watched this show and I got really sad and angry.  I agree that Melissa should be punished and what she did is very wrong.  Now, here is what angers me.  Everyone is talking about these poor women not getting their babies.  If these women really wanted to be mothers and wanted babies we have thousands sitting in foster homes wishing to be adopted.  We too went through the adoption process.  We are a white professional upper middle class couple.  Our first opportunity for a child was a seven month old African American little boy.  We were told he could possibly have MS, and other problems.  All it took was this baby smiling at me on time and I knew this was my son.  We are very fortunate, he is five now and smart, healthy and happy.  So, the point being if you really want to be a parent, there are lots of children waiting.  They may not have white skin, blond hair and blue eyes, but I guarantee they will give you more than you can ever give them.  So yes I find it hard to feel sorry for these women when the children who aren't being adopted are the ones who should be seen as the real victims.
 
February 23, 2007, 8:40 am CST

this was so wrong

I feel really bad for the women that had there hopes up . I have had 5 miscarriages and a stillborn.When a woman wants a child more then anything, they will do anything. But what that so call "WOMAN" done is so wrong . to me she should be place in jail . i hope and pray she never every does that to anyone again. For someone to do that is low. The ladies on the show to me we so nice, they were alot nicer then i would have every been . I know i would have been place in jail. If you ladies do read this dont give up . I just lost my son in Dec. , but i have not given up the dream to have a child. I know the pain to want something so bad that you can taste it. Dont give her the right to take away your dream to be a mom.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

take care,

Tiffany

mommy to a angel

 
February 23, 2007, 8:41 am CST

02/23 Adoptions Scams, Part 2

Quote From: reticulate

This was a pretty bad scam to pull. She got people's hopes up, and more importantly took their money. But it's not all that terrible. She didn't promise these women anything they can't find again. It's not a kid, it's a baby. Babies don't have personalities, so one baby is as good as the next. She doesn't deserve to burn for it, just give 'em back their money. After that, who cares?

do you not think federal laws were broken in this case ? if the laws are not followed through on then we need to do away with them, what good are any laws where we make exceptions? it does not matter if she ment to hurt any one or not, the laws were broken, and she must be held accountible for what she did, just giving the money back is not holding her accountible for breaking the law, and as for who cares after the money is paid back well hell i do, after all i must follow the very same laws as every american must do! i do not pray on people with a disavantage to fill my pockets with profit, if i did i would be behind bars,this young woman thought she was never going to get caught, well it backfired on her thank god  and dr phil for that,yeah i think a bit of jail time is indeed in order for that scammer.
 
February 23, 2007, 9:00 am CST

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT????

Quote From: thankfulpeach

What I don't understand is why everyone feels so extremely sorry for women who want to adopt a baby, but NO ONE takes any consideration that the baby they buy and beg for LOSES its mother in order to fulfill another woman's desire.  The baby is truly a commodity in a buy and sell system.  So obvious when you see shows like this where the women are so desparate.  The babies grow up and realize the transaction, and are appalled that we are part of an elaborate business.  No human rights, as even our very identity and birth certificate are sealed from us indefinately.   Since when is it ethical to "advertise and market" for a human life?  Babies are not blank slates that society can just play "musical parents" with and change their identity to serve adult purposes.  Adoption should only happen when a grieving child has lost their entire biological family in a tragedy (not advertised for and begged for and money exchanged) and even then their birth certificates and identities should not be changed and falsified.   Dr. Phil kept telling this scammer that she "owes" these women an apology.  I think the babies of adoption are owed an apology, instead of being completely ignored for the fulfillment of others.   

I have read your popst over and over just so I can understand what you are trying to say...

 

I am adopted and my birth mother was too young to be able to care for me in the way I deserved,   I am so grateful to her because now I have a wonderful life and wonderful parents that raised me and loved me.  What Melissa did was terrible and she deserves to be punished and selling and buying babies is even worse ...but legal adoption? I hope you never experience the pain of not being able to have children, I always knew I was adopted and I have never been affected by it, I know my background I am very lucky!!!

 
February 23, 2007, 9:06 am CST

THANK YOU!!

Quote From: mistyc

The babie's should have to stay with the mother even if she is a drug user?  How about if there is already 5 or more siblings in the family and the new baby is doomed to poverty.  You're  right it is much better for the baby to stay with the biological parent and be raised on public assistance with no hope of getting an education or enjoying all the things that make childhood fun like, soccer, family vacations, new bikes etc.   A child is always better off in a stable, financially secure 2 parent home.  But stick your head back in the sand, I would hate for your ears to get cold.

I could not have said it better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
February 23, 2007, 9:32 am CST

I would like to see Dr. PHil do a show on foster kids that need homes

Quote From: ohiorealtyguy

I watched this show and I got really sad and angry.  I agree that Melissa should be punished and what she did is very wrong.  Now, here is what angers me.  Everyone is talking about these poor women not getting their babies.  If these women really wanted to be mothers and wanted babies we have thousands sitting in foster homes wishing to be adopted.  We too went through the adoption process.  We are a white professional upper middle class couple.  Our first opportunity for a child was a seven month old African American little boy.  We were told he could possibly have MS, and other problems.  All it took was this baby smiling at me on time and I knew this was my son.  We are very fortunate, he is five now and smart, healthy and happy.  So, the point being if you really want to be a parent, there are lots of children waiting.  They may not have white skin, blond hair and blue eyes, but I guarantee they will give you more than you can ever give them.  So yes I find it hard to feel sorry for these women when the children who aren't being adopted are the ones who should be seen as the real victims.

because you are very right. There are so many kids that need a loving home and they never get a voice. Older kids need homes just as much as newborns. As a godparent to six kids, if  the time came for me to care for them they'd range in age from 7-15. I certainly wouldn't love them any less because I got them as older kids.

 

Melissa appears to have no soul. I was really taken back by how brazen and cold she was. I wonder what kind of a parent she is to her son.

 
February 23, 2007, 9:49 am CST

This is so sad!

These women are victims!  I hope they prosecute this woman to prevent her from hurting others.  She obviously has a serious problem that she is unwilling or unable to control. She did not seem remorseful even when she cried.  I think she was upset that she may be prosecuted and in trouble.  Melissa pursued her relationships with these women like a predator and I would bet that she is doing it again to other unsuspecting victims right now. I don't think she can stop herself just like a serial killer, child molester or rapist has little control over his sickness.  I hope if Melissa has other victims that they will come forward, too. 
 
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