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Topic : 03/06 To Be a Child Star

Number of Replies: 113
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Created on : Friday, March 02, 2007, 12:02:03 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Thousands of kids hope to make it big in Hollywood every year – from dancing, to modeling, to singing, to acting. Many parents sacrifice a lot of money and time to see them realize their dreams, sometimes to the detriment of the rest of the family. But are the sacrifices worth it? Dr. Phil’s first guest, Lisa, says they are. She is dying to get her 13-year-old daughter, Brittany, in the limelight, and is willing to help her daughter reach her goals “at any cost.” Lisa’s twin sister, Katina, and her mother, Veronica, think Lisa is pushing Brittany too hard, and is trying to live her own dreams through her daughter since Lisa never made it as a child star. Then, meet a couple who says they are raising the next headliner: their 11-year-old daughter, Mary Sarah. But are they leaving their other children behind? One of their kids moved out of the house just to make a point! How can they find balance in their family and still help their star-in-the-making? Next, why one mother’s victory over breast cancer inspired her to do anything to make her 13-year-old daughter, Briana, a country music sensation. But is it putting Briana’s health at risk? And does she have a chance? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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March 6, 2007, 9:23 am CST

Child Star

I think the parents should let the kid's deside if they want to be a star or not:)
 
March 6, 2007, 11:18 am CST

Why do kids go along?

Quote From: rosie52

When my kids were little, I honestly don't think they would have gone along with it if I'd had my own agenda set up for them. They would tell me what they were interested in and then I'd get them signed up,etc... The only thing we insisted was that they finished what they started. They were both interested in different things when they were younger. I was there to assist them. How do parents get their kids to cooperate when the kids really don't want to do something that their parents have decided that they should be doing? I'm basing this on my experience of having to make my kids do things like homework,taking baths, getting to bed on time,etc... For example if I had decided that my son should be in the band(something that my daughter was very excited about) he would been a very unhappy camper. If I had insisted that my daughter take auto-body repair(something that my son excelled in) she would have wept. How in the world do parents succeed in having their children do activities that the kids are not interested in doing?

Kids will do what parents want because they want their parents' love and approval.  They want their parents to be happy, don't want to disappoint them.  If a parent let's the kid know how much they want their child to do well at something, most kids will try very hard to succeed at it, even if they don't really want to do it.  Of course, behavior frequently changes once they hit the teen years, but even then kids want their parents' approval.   

 

 

 
March 6, 2007, 11:38 am CST

Americans have priorities mixed up

 

I watch these type of shows and I am just so perplexed. All parents have aspirations for their children- education should be more of the focus. My aspirations for my children- my "dream" for my kids is for them to go to good colleges and have good careers! These shallow ppl on these shows are SO disturbing- they are teaching their kids that intelligence and education means nothing. No wonder our country is the way it is. I really feel bad for all these kids- sad.

 
March 6, 2007, 12:24 pm CST

I'm not a doctor but I play one on TV

Quote From: khillof4

One of the biggest misconceptions is that we want our kids to be famous and that is the most important thing. That is not why I do this, it is not why children act. They act, sing or dance because they love the arts. They love to perform.  Being famous is what other people put on them. Yes being famous has its good side. Yes there are the red carpet events, travel, meeting talented people

But you know what our children learn that life can be hard as well. They learn rejection. They know life is not all a bowl of cherries. You do not book every audition.

Sometimes being the actor means you miss a dance or football game. But on the other hand you might be able to play the star football quarterback, and the prom king, and the smartest guy in school.

Do your children watch The Suite Life of Zack and Cody,Thats so Raven, The Slumber Party Girls, or Hannah Montana? Without child actors these shows could not exist. 

You know in life there are people that grown up and make bad choices no matter what they do as a job. The percentages of child actors that grown up and do drugs or what ever are not as many as you would think. MANY go on to do jobs not in the public eye.  Many grow up to be happy well adjusted members of  Society.

 What about the kids in low income areas. Sadly they in general end up having the short end of the stick. There lives have a higher % of drug abuse, drop outs, teen pregnancyn than child actors. That is where we need to stress help! These are the children that need us.  Why not put our energy there.  

"...You  might miss a dance or football game.  But on the other hand you might be able to play the star quarterback, and the prom king, and the smartest guy in school."  Wow, that is a sad statement. It probably would have been better to say that while they miss some childhood experiences, these kids get to have experiences that other children do not get.  No one gets to do everything, and choices have to be made regardless of whether your child plays in the band or is on the soccer team or is in AP classes or is an actor, but  I doubt if one gets the same feeling playing "the smartest guy at school" as being the smartest guy at school.

 

I think that a lot of this push to make "our" kids stars is related the misguided importance we  place on celebrities.  There are a ton of talented (in other facets) everyday folks that make this world a better place that may, barely, see a million dollars over the course of their career (not a matter of weeks). I don't see a lot of articles on parents trying to push their children into other careers that also take talent because, in truth, that's not where the celebrity is and that's not where the big $$ are.  Unfortunately that seems to be the current criteria for what is important.

 

Parents should be proud of (and encourage) their children wherever their talent may lie.

 

MOT

 
March 6, 2007, 12:28 pm CST

Parents MUST STOP living thru their kids!

At 5'5 and just 12 years old, our beautiful (inside and out) daughter signed a modeling contract last November with a big Chicago agency (we live in Florida). We were all so happy for her and very proud of her (she used to lack self-confidence).

 

However, when this honor roll 6th grader let her grades slip (even before her first modeling job), we have kept her HOME working on homework and doing family activities. Yep, we have said NO to modeling until the grades go back up and we're confident she truly knows what is IMPORTANT IN LIFE.

 

Hobbies are fun, rewarding and do help build character and dreams, but they are NOT what should be a top priority in life. The problems arise when we parents try to live thru our children. I have been tempted, but I have made a point to think with my HEAD and not with my HEART....all for our daughter's sake.

 
March 6, 2007, 12:30 pm CST

HUH???????

Quote From: sshawnbl007

I think the parents should let the kid's deside if they want to be a star or not:)

Kids are CHILDREN. It's the parents' repsonsiblity to make the big, tough, hard choices for their children. Kids don't normally know what is best for them. They know what is fun and what they like. What is best may be something entirely different. Since when did 'Kids" stop being children?????

 
March 6, 2007, 12:42 pm CST

Wow, Dr. Phils son is in a rock group?

Now I want to know what group it is! Anybody know? I would really love to give it a listen (if I dont already and just not know it)
 
March 6, 2007, 12:59 pm CST

Washed up COLLEGE students??? Hardly!

Quote From: gwarrior6

What disturbs me is that the adults are as delusional as their kids.  Everyone wants to be famous when they're like, 5.  Then you grow up and realize being famous is really hard work, your life is under a microscope 24/7, you have to work on your "talent" continuously, and no one leaves you alone.  Some of these kids are nothing more than spoiled brats who the parents dote on above the other kids.  Child stars are like kittens, they grow up and some aren't so cute when they hit puberty.  Then they're just washed up college students-go figure!

Your last sentence assumes that they will go to college! Kids who are pushed hard in other areas (other than academics), don't normally have the time to devote themselves to schooling. Therefore, they are not the A students that they perhaps could be.

 

Do you know when children models work? They don't do most of their work in the evenings, weekends or summers. Modeling gets going (hot) in late August and then September. Modeling work for kids is normally during the 9-5:00 work day and NOT on the weekends.

 

Our daughter didn't make the honor roll the past grading period, so we haven't allowed her to model until her grades go up (and stay up), even though she's under contract.

 

She has the brains to go to college. The beautiful looks she has may make for a fun hobby ND help add money to her college fund, but they are SO WAY DOWN THE PRIORITY LIST when it comes to the big picture of life! And it's up to PARENTS to do what is best for their children....always.

 
March 6, 2007, 1:06 pm CST

The Mom's

As I sit here and watch these 2 Mothers the first one was sad.She didn't make it so she is going to make her daughter make it.  The second Mom.how sad her daughter was great in some things but it is a viscious world out there and there was 1 thing in particular that I saw but i will not say and it is something that should have been corrcted by their Dentist already...My daughter did modeling at a very young age and when i felt she needed to be with her peers and be in school and  take gymnastics and dance and  ballet also giving HER the decision of what SHE wanted , we no longer did the modeling....i saw a Mother pull a hissy fit like you wouldnt believe ,screaming and yelling that her son was not chosen for the shoot that my daughter was in  witha different litte boy,and guess who's fault it was .......that' right it was her fault....she was late for the shoot and they took the alternate....it was my daughters first shoot and WOW did i learn alot that day.also they admit to the son moving out ...how unfair to that boy...the world revolves around the little girl with a little talent....andthe mother ...that phony smirky somewhat of a smile if you can call it that.........oh  boy these poor children.In my closing i must say that i'm very proud that my daughter will be graduating college in  1 1/2 yrs and  she wil go on to be a High School English Teacher. and boy am i proud of her......Just my feelings we all think our children are incredible and that is sad at times because in reality.......all children are beautiful.....Brandi
 
March 6, 2007, 1:22 pm CST

So Pathetic!!

This is the most pathetic thing I have seen in awhile.  The first mother is clearly trying to live her dreams through her kid and that is just sad, though not uncommon...which is also sad. I see this kind of stuff all the time, if you ever notice those pagent moms on TV shows and things, I am not kidding 9 times out of 10 they are overwweight and actually say that they always wanted to be in beauty pagents as a kid but never did. These parents need to get over themsleves and worry about what is really inportant a GOOD QUALITY EDUCATION for their children!!! That first lady could have put that 100,000 up for her college or something. She says that the little girl told her she wanted to be a star at that age of 2 or 3, well kids say all kind of things at that age..."I want to be a ninja turtle" or " I want to be an icecream man" .....little kids say lots of things but that is no reason to spend 100,000 dollars and miss paying bills and have your kid eat, sleep and do homework in the car!!!! SERIOUSLY, come on!!!
 
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