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Topic : 03/06 To Be a Child Star

Number of Replies: 113
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, March 02, 2007, 12:02:03 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Thousands of kids hope to make it big in Hollywood every year – from dancing, to modeling, to singing, to acting. Many parents sacrifice a lot of money and time to see them realize their dreams, sometimes to the detriment of the rest of the family. But are the sacrifices worth it? Dr. Phil’s first guest, Lisa, says they are. She is dying to get her 13-year-old daughter, Brittany, in the limelight, and is willing to help her daughter reach her goals “at any cost.” Lisa’s twin sister, Katina, and her mother, Veronica, think Lisa is pushing Brittany too hard, and is trying to live her own dreams through her daughter since Lisa never made it as a child star. Then, meet a couple who says they are raising the next headliner: their 11-year-old daughter, Mary Sarah. But are they leaving their other children behind? One of their kids moved out of the house just to make a point! How can they find balance in their family and still help their star-in-the-making? Next, why one mother’s victory over breast cancer inspired her to do anything to make her 13-year-old daughter, Briana, a country music sensation. But is it putting Briana’s health at risk? And does she have a chance? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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March 6, 2007, 1:34 pm CST

Give your talent to others

I am amazed that only one poster has had the insight to suggest that talent might be best used locally.  It is so much more realistic and balanced to share one's abilities locally rather than to try to become famous.

 

How many of us have been deeply affected by a coach, music instructor, band director, church worship director who was or is extremely talented but for some reason is not "famous."  Isn't it more important to impact peoples' lives than to strive for glamor? In addition, it is far more realistic to assess one's talents that way - to say, I may not be world-class, but I can certainly enrich others' lives by my gifts. We all know that only a tiny percentage of athletes, singers, and actors become famous.  But thousands have great abilities that are used appropriately in their home towns.

 

God gives gifts and talents, but they are not for us to hoard - they are to build others up.  THAT's the real balance.

 
March 6, 2007, 1:43 pm CST

Amen!!

Quote From: txgirl1013

This is the most pathetic thing I have seen in awhile.  The first mother is clearly trying to live her dreams through her kid and that is just sad, though not uncommon...which is also sad. I see this kind of stuff all the time, if you ever notice those pagent moms on TV shows and things, I am not kidding 9 times out of 10 they are overwweight and actually say that they always wanted to be in beauty pagents as a kid but never did. These parents need to get over themsleves and worry about what is really inportant a GOOD QUALITY EDUCATION for their children!!! That first lady could have put that 100,000 up for her college or something. She says that the little girl told her she wanted to be a star at that age of 2 or 3, well kids say all kind of things at that age..."I want to be a ninja turtle" or " I want to be an icecream man" .....little kids say lots of things but that is no reason to spend 100,000 dollars and miss paying bills and have your kid eat, sleep and do homework in the car!!!! SERIOUSLY, come on!!!
I totally agree with you. They are making a bug gamble on their kids future, it  is safer to just focus on acedemics & putting $ back 4 college.              Jeana in Dallas Tx.
 
March 6, 2007, 1:47 pm CST

Not always pushing sometimes supporting

I am a single mother and I am very proud of my daughter.  Her ambition is ice skating.  I do not push her to do this, she instead insists that I get her to practice and lets me know that she is going to do this and be the best she can be.  She is very into ice skating and only starting in basic skills about a year and a half ago.  The coaches have told her that she is ready to compete.  So there goes mom's money!!  I may be broke but with everything that my daughter has gone through in her young life, I believe that this will help her grow into an even more amazing young woman than she already is.  Not every one is pushing their children, but if they are then they will find it harder to deal with because the child, if they honestly do not want it, will rebel in the end.
 
March 6, 2007, 1:50 pm CST

The 2nd family

I feel sorry for the 2nd family's son. I mean , the poor gut moved out. I believe the father is not being a friend to him, not being there 4 him. The poor guy needs a dad! Not one who is constantly paying attention to the daughter. That is hidious of him! It makes me mad. The son is crying out 4 attention from his dad but he is blind to his needs. That's part of the reason why is so effimient.  Dad if you read this please consider what I am saying & I am not trying to be critical of you but read the signs. Know what is going in each & every one of your kids lives not just the youngest daugher.

 

                                         Jeana in Dallas , Tx.

 
March 6, 2007, 2:12 pm CST

03/06 To Be a Child Star

 
March 6, 2007, 2:47 pm CST

Child Star

Did it ever occur to Dr. Phil's Producers that maybe these parents wanted to get on the show for FREE EXPOSURE...SO THEIR CHILDREN CAN FINALLY BE DISCOVERED.  I am not so sure that these parents came on to figure out how to deal with balance. and get Dr. Phils advice.

 

 

 
March 6, 2007, 2:55 pm CST

11 yr. old Child Star

As a sesoned audio producer for 30yrs. now I would like to point out something nobody has noticed. The BROTHER of 11yr. old Brittney has one of the most unique VOICES I've ever heard. With training he could be the next Character/Cartoon Voice from hell. Everyone is talking about Brittney's parents not paying enough attention to her & nobody, even Dr. Phil or the "Talent Expert" have noticed her brother's voice. His high, almost annoying voice could make him a lot of money. Trust me.....I know what I'm talking about. I am a successful voice-actor myself.

 
March 6, 2007, 2:57 pm CST

Exactly! Kids are children

Quote From: flthomcat

Kids are CHILDREN. It's the parents' repsonsiblity to make the big, tough, hard choices for their children. Kids don't normally know what is best for them. They know what is fun and what they like. What is best may be something entirely different. Since when did 'Kids" stop being children?????

 Therefore they should be allowed to be children and play and live their childhood and in the process of this, they will develop interests, hobbies, goals, talents and will eventually start talking about what they would like to do and it is then when the parents can step up and talk, communicate withthe kids about their  (kids) desires and dreams and go from there. I am not against encouraging and even making some decissions for our kids, we need to do this but when it comes to pushing them into the career path at a very young age, it "can" have a negatvie impact. It really comes down to balancing life, and for those parents who feel the need to ignore other children in the home for the sake of one child needs to get a  grip, they will lose that child one way or the other, they will rebell, may not have anything to do with you, then what? The child who was your favorite and encouraged in life, could also cop up an attitude and start pushing you away as well, then what? We are parents, we are suppose to love, uide and teach our kids to become good, caring, productve adults, to become something, to do something with their lives and if you have to push your way through or neglect another, then you are off base as the parents.

I personally have been told that I should put my oldest in paegants, why? so every one can coo over her? NOT! My children belong at home with me and their dad, playing and being children. If my daughter grows up/matures and decides that she would like to be a model or something like that, she will have our encouragement and support, we will help her through her education and training,  but in the meantime, she is having fun being a kid and until she voices her future goals and ready to start fullfilling HER dreams then it will happen. Kids are CHILDREN and it's fun being a mom of a two who loves life.

I think if kids want to be on stage,thats's ok, but it should be them to voivce that and the parent should make sure the kids are well informed, we are responsible for our kids well being and they should be our top priority, not neccessarily OUR dreams for them and no one, such as siblings as these kids should be left out in the cold, believe me, I know how it hurts to be the one neglected and hurt and the other party will soon reap what they sow. ALL kids are children and deserve the same respect as the others in the household, if parents cannot do this,then maybe they should not have had kids,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
 
March 6, 2007, 2:58 pm CST

Acting can be good

 Acting can be good for children and people.  A child who can't afford a toy or needs an escape can gain great wisdom.  And being a teenager for either girls or boys can be tough. 

Stardom is different.  My friends and I dreamt of it.  Many made it in their own way.  Yes, stardom is tough.  We loved the Brady Bunch and so on. Shirley Temple and Judy Garland filled an impossible goal.  Everyone did.  I don't know how they did it.  They were brave as they all were.  My Mom was trying to get an education in England.  She became a doctor and I am damned proud of her.  They needed their heros.

I think this Earth is going to make it.

Mary Cassells
 
March 6, 2007, 3:11 pm CST

Kids try to please their parents, that's how

Quote From: rosie52

When my kids were little, I honestly don't think they would have gone along with it if I'd had my own agenda set up for them. They would tell me what they were interested in and then I'd get them signed up,etc... The only thing we insisted was that they finished what they started. They were both interested in different things when they were younger. I was there to assist them. How do parents get their kids to cooperate when the kids really don't want to do something that their parents have decided that they should be doing? I'm basing this on my experience of having to make my kids do things like homework,taking baths, getting to bed on time,etc... For example if I had decided that my son should be in the band(something that my daughter was very excited about) he would been a very unhappy camper. If I had insisted that my daughter take auto-body repair(something that my son excelled in) she would have wept. How in the world do parents succeed in having their children do activities that the kids are not interested in doing?
 Hi Rosie-- You probably did not treat your kids the way "stage parents" do. Studies have shown,that young girls (ages 3-6) in beauty pageants don't like being in them: when interviewed by psychologists, the girls said they compete "to make my Mommy happy". When asked if it was fun to compete, they said, "no".

If a parent rewards their child for being in pageants, singing in concerts, winning acting awards, or whatever, the kid will be motivated to get the reward. All I could think during today's Dr. Phil's show was, "these poor kids, they've become conditioned to performing because that's all their parents reward them for."

I hope the parents on today's show read this post and realize what a sorry bunch they are. Truth is, the odds are that none of your kids will make it in show business. Mom dying of cancer, your legacy to your daughter is this, "you're only successful if you're a music star". I encourage you to re-think your legacy: society and your daughter would be better served if you send her the message that you love her no matter what she decides to become, that it's smart to develop lots of skills, including academic ones, and that you should enjoy today and stop worrying about artificial goals like becoming a star before your Mom dies.
 
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