Quote From: willowtree07I too haven't seen the show, though I might have caught one or two of the series earlier on. Its hard to remeber all the different shows. Anyway, just wanting to also express my hope for a new beginning and that Alex is able to be emotionally better cared for when she returns home.
Its so vital that our young people recieve love and firm parenting at this stage in their development. They are getting ready to break their old patterns of childhood and establish who they will be as adults. Its already a horribly confusing and frustrating time, caught between child and adult. Hormones flare up, emotions are up one moment and crashing hard the next, with all that to contend with even as a "normal" teen, having the toxic home enviroment makes it that much harder for her to express herself as she matures and grows into a young adult.
I know what its like to turn to older men for comfort, when I was 14 I too used them as an escape from a saddening home situation. I wish now that I could go back to that age and knock myself up side the head, or at least have had someone who cared enough to stop me from self destructing like that. The worse part, was that no one knew that I was doing this, they never spent enough time talking with me to find out why I was always so depressed, and running away. I could have ended up with a VD or pregnant or dead. I was so emotionally destroyed thinking that I wasn't worth the time for one of my parents to invest in getting to the truth, for them to sit down and talk with me, find out what was wrong in my life. They just shoved me out the door off to a therapist who prescribed anti-depressants, when I would have much rather had my mom care and talk to me like a human being rather then a problem.
It has been a long long time and alot of introspective thinking to get over that time in my life. Its scarred me, changed me, and stunted my emotional growth for awhile. But I will not let that time period (or any of the other bad ones) define who I am as an adult.
It would be incredibly easy for me to blame my mother, however, as adults we talked about her childhood and upbringing and it has helped me to be more understanding. Fifteen years later now, I know that she wasn't nurtured and her family never spoke about emotional issues. Her mother never hugged her or ever told her that she loved her. And the emotional distancing goes back further, my grandmother's mom died in childbirth and her father remarried very quickly to a very emotionally distant woman. My grandmother was only five when she lost her mother, so she grew up in a home with no love from her step mother (who considered her a burden) and a father who was just happy to have another woman feed and cloth his children. At some point, the chain of emotional neglect has to be stopped or if I ever have children this will be the legacy I pass on to them.
Ok, I've gone off on a tangent here. However, I just once more want to express my hope and prayers for the well being of Alex and all of her family.
At some point, the chain of emotional neglect has to be stopped or if I ever have children this will be the legacy I pass on to them.
YES! and when I had children made sure that they knew they were loved. They were hugged, kissed and praised often beside went for therapy about my own childhood. What we don't receive as children, we must fulfill when we realize we were raised in emotionaly unavailable /abusive home.
Before my mother died I had a talk with her and asked her.....mom, why did you beat me black and blue? Her reply...because you were a difficult child to raise! No ,mom, because you were unable to show love and your marriage was frustrating, I was your scapegoat! She looked at me and started crying, I held her, she drew away from me because she didn't like to be touched. After years of therapy found out that growing up in a home with two parents, felt abandoned. No wonder I acted out! I never felt loved, no, and promised my self that if I had children they would know they are loved.
When I married, thinking this guy is very affectionate but HE TOO was emotionaly unavailable. I had two beautiful chidren a boy and a girl. When I their father started abusing my son at 18 months, I realized I had to do something about it. It took me several years to leave him but finally I did..My parents were shocked,saying...we don't believe in divorce.
Well, I had to protect my children and me from him. As my chidren got older, and they told me how mean their father was to them, when they were with them, told them they didn't have to see him if they didnt want to. Well, that was OK with their father. We three were happy and one day my son tells me...mommy, you know we are like the Three Muskeeters..all for one and one for all.
BUT I was naive, even though I took my children for therapy the one factor remaning was THE father. He remained verbally abusive to his son. As my son climbed the corporate ladder..his father would tell him...what ? do you want to be better than me? Constantly trying to crush my son emotionaly..when all my son wanted was approval from his father. Well, my son fell, too much money too soon and finally landed up in a special rehab, lasting 2 1/2 yrs. During that period the parents had to go to parent groups, on how to change their ways , to understand the family dynamics. The father was outraged and didn't co-operate, no, he didn't change his ways.
My son gets married after a few years his wife is pregnant..his father gets cancer and dies before the baby s born, my son grieves terribly...dad, didn't get to see his grandson. He starts drinking again but stops and continues to work like a demon till he becomes a CEO of a company...for my family he tells me, when I ask him about his working so much.
BUT I look into his eyes and I see pain, not happiness and ask him..son, are you happy? He starts to cry..... I hold him in my arms, as he sobs deeply, his whole body shaking. This 6'1" grown man is a boy again, how can I help him, what can I do ? We take a walk and I mention going for therapy to find out where the pain comes from and what he can do about it, he agrees. that is what he's been doing and he told me he is starting to feel better.
The reason I just wrote about my son, is because...if the parents don't see the wrong in them selves as to what they are and how they are, and are willing to change, then the chidren suffer for the rest of thier lives..until the day they know THEY need therapy.AND if they don't get the help they need, they will continue the abuse that was done to them, to their own children.
Alex was an out-of-control 14-year-old who was stealing, running away, doing drugs and prostituting herself to older men when her family turned her in to Dr. Phil. After a tumultuous stay in The Dr. Phil House, Alex said goodbye to her mother, Kim, her grandmother, Jeanette, and her aunt, Enza, and headed to a therapeutic academy to be in a healthy learning environment. Six weeks have passed since Alex left and her family returned home without her. How has she adjusted to her new structured environment? Have Kim, Jeanette and Enza put aside their judgments and accusations, and come together once and for all? As Kim prepares for her daughter’s return, has she turned around the toxic family environment that contributed to Alex’s unhealthy behavior? Talk about the show here.
