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Topic : 07/04 Runaways Gone Wild

Number of Replies: 146
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Created on : Friday, March 23, 2007, 10:09:33 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 3/28/07) Imagine waking up at dawn to discover your 9-year-old child missing. The next day police call saying they’ve found your son -- but he’s halfway across the country at the San Antonio airport! This is only one of the waking nightmares single mother Sakinah has faced. Her son, Semaj, stole three cars and ran away nine times in just five weeks. He's charged with three felonies, including auto theft, attempting to elude a police officer on a high-speed chase, and driving without a valid driver's license. What is behind this traveling tween’s cross-country misadventures? Then, Amy's 16-year-old daughter, Tiffany, has run away several times, but this time her mother says she has gotten involved in a prostitution ring. The concerned mom discovered her daughter's behavior the way a lot of people find used furniture or apartments to rent: on Craigslist! See how the teen used this community Web site to advertise her services. But did she act alone? Find out why Amy fears for her daughter's life and the lives of her other children. Plus, learn what Dr. Phil has to say when he sits down for a heart-to-heart with Amy’s two younger daughters, and then talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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March 24, 2007, 10:08 am CDT

13 CHILDREN DIE ON THE STREETS OF AMERICA EVERY DAY

In America there is a common misconception that children runaway from home because they are societal delinquents who want to be free of authority. The media depicts homeless and street kids as "rebels without a cause", as children who have no regard for society, who have no dreams and no aspiration for life but to get high.  

 

We know this portrayal of homeless and street kids to be false. In fact we know that 90% of children who run away have encountered mental, physical, emotional, and/ or sexual abuse. No child wants to live on the streets. No child want to have to beg, steal, sell drugs, and/ or themselves just to survive.

 

More than half of the children on the streets are still under the age of 15.  Unable to legally work, these kids get involved in criminal activity just to survive.  Based on current estimates, there are more than one and a half million children, teenagers and young adults trying to service on the U.S. streets today.  Children now make up 27 percent of the fastest growing segment of the U.S. homeless population.

 

For more info:  www.turnpurple.org 

 

The Turn Purple Campaign is the nations' first campaign against child abuse and the resulting problem of youth homelessness. 

 

 

 

DON'T RUNAWAY - TELL SOMEONE YOU CAN TRUST

 

 

Though harder to spot, emotional abuse is easier to deny.  But just as physical and sexual abuse have signposts to mark their presence, emotional abuse, being a systematic attack on one's sense of self, has common traits.  Just as physical and sexual abuse come in degrees of severity, emotional abuse runs the gamut of intensity and damage.

 

Anyone who had the misfortune of being raised by a parent who is cruel, vicious, vindictive, calculating, manipulative, a liar, cheat, selfish or neglectful may benefit from reading: 

 

 

Why is it Always About You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss 

 

Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward 

 

Surviving a Borderline Parent:  How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries and Self-Esteem by Kimberlee Roth and Freda Friedman OR Understanding the Borderline (Parent) Mother Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson  OR  The Angry Heart:  Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders by Joseph Santoro

 

How to Journal for Therapy:

http://arar.essortment.com/therapyjournali_repu.htm 

  

 

If you tell your problem to someone that you can trust and still feel unhappy, unsafe, or uncomfortable, or if you don't trust anyone that you know, then you should CALL these numbers untill you speak with someone you can trust:

 

National Runaway Switchboard  1-800-RUNAWAY or 1-800-621-4000

Covenant House Nine Line 1-800-999-9999

Child HELP USA 1-800-4ACHILD

Stand Up for Kids 1-800-365-4KID

 

If you are unhappy or uncomfortable with something in your life it is up to you to change your situation and tell someone that you can trust. 

 

 

Hope it helps!

 

 

 
March 25, 2007, 2:59 am CDT

Absolutely right

Quote From: anon_slc

In America there is a common misconception that children runaway from home because they are societal delinquents who want to be free of authority. The media depicts homeless and street kids as "rebels without a cause", as children who have no regard for society, who have no dreams and no aspiration for life but to get high.  

 

We know this portrayal of homeless and street kids to be false. In fact we know that 90% of children who run away have encountered mental, physical, emotional, and/ or sexual abuse. No child wants to live on the streets. No child want to have to beg, steal, sell drugs, and/ or themselves just to survive.

 

More than half of the children on the streets are still under the age of 15.  Unable to legally work, these kids get involved in criminal activity just to survive.  Based on current estimates, there are more than one and a half million children, teenagers and young adults trying to service on the U.S. streets today.  Children now make up 27 percent of the fastest growing segment of the U.S. homeless population.

 

For more info:  www.turnpurple.org 

 

The Turn Purple Campaign is the nations' first campaign against child abuse and the resulting problem of youth homelessness. 

 

 

 

DON'T RUNAWAY - TELL SOMEONE YOU CAN TRUST

 

 

Though harder to spot, emotional abuse is easier to deny.  But just as physical and sexual abuse have signposts to mark their presence, emotional abuse, being a systematic attack on one's sense of self, has common traits.  Just as physical and sexual abuse come in degrees of severity, emotional abuse runs the gamut of intensity and damage.

 

Anyone who had the misfortune of being raised by a parent who is cruel, vicious, vindictive, calculating, manipulative, a liar, cheat, selfish or neglectful may benefit from reading: 

 

 

Why is it Always About You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss 

 

Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward 

 

Surviving a Borderline Parent:  How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries and Self-Esteem by Kimberlee Roth and Freda Friedman OR Understanding the Borderline (Parent) Mother Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson  OR  The Angry Heart:  Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders by Joseph Santoro

 

How to Journal for Therapy:

http://arar.essortment.com/therapyjournali_repu.htm 

  

 

If you tell your problem to someone that you can trust and still feel unhappy, unsafe, or uncomfortable, or if you don't trust anyone that you know, then you should CALL these numbers untill you speak with someone you can trust:

 

National Runaway Switchboard  1-800-RUNAWAY or 1-800-621-4000

Covenant House Nine Line 1-800-999-9999

Child HELP USA 1-800-4ACHILD

Stand Up for Kids 1-800-365-4KID

 

If you are unhappy or uncomfortable with something in your life it is up to you to change your situation and tell someone that you can trust. 

 

 

Hope it helps!

 

 

     If you are having problems with a parent or other member of your family it does not pay to run.  Get help before you are the next person to die because some sick pervert has raped or molested you and then killed you.  This actually happens to more than people know.  It can be right in your back yard.  Please anyone that needs to get out of a situation like this or other ones do it there is help for you.  read these boards it is full of people like you.
 
March 25, 2007, 10:29 am CDT

INTERNET CRIME - HOW TO REPORT - EDUCATION IS KEY

The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) is very committed to investigating internet, telephone, mail crime and fraud.  The FTC works for the consumer to prevent criminal, fraudulent, deceptive and unfair, business practices in the marketplace and to provide information to help consumers report, spot, stop, and avoid them.

 

The following link to the FTC website, you'll find publications with advice on avoiding scams and rip-offs, as well as tips on other consumer topics and reporting consumer fraud.

 

www.ftc.gov/ftc/consumer.htm 

 

To file a complaint or to get free information on consumer issues, visit www.ftc.gov or call toll-free, 1-877-FTC-HELP (1-877-382-4357); TTY: 1-866-653-4261.

 

The FTC enters Internet, telemarketing, identity theft, and other fraud-related complaints into Consumer Sentinel, a secure, online database available to hundreds of civil and criminal law enforcement agencies in the U.S. and abroad.

 

 

Hope it helps!

 

 

 
March 25, 2007, 11:23 am CDT

03/28 Runaways Gone Wild

Praying for all kids like this! They need  someone they can trust to talk to about things! Also they need Jesus in there life!
 
March 25, 2007, 11:11 pm CDT

Who's Responsibility is It??

My heart truly goes out to these kids.  They say it takes a village to raise a child, the family bond is no where to be found these days in most households and I mean more than the mom, dad and children I mean the whole family.  These kids on the street have been abandoned by their parents and extended family.....there can be no other reason.

 

I grew up in a home where we were exposed to a lot of things at a very early age...my personality was not to be victim but to overcome no matter what...now I have control issues.  But that's another subject.  My two younger sisters were not as strong....my youngest ended up on the street, prostituting, drugs.....completely alone....my other sister just started having kids early...her way of surviving.

 

We didn't have parenting.....no one to fight for us....no one to protect us...in the name of I had kids early and whatever we were left to mostly fend for ourselves.

 

I'm a mom today and I will not repeat the mistakes of the past...I will do whatever it takes to protect and teach and nurture my kids.  My heart really goes out to these kids....how alone and scared they must feel.  They act out, they rebel, and they strike back....only hurting others because they hurt.

 

 

 
March 26, 2007, 10:52 am CDT

may GOD protect them

Quote From: rjbiana

My heart truly goes out to these kids.  They say it takes a village to raise a child, the family bond is no where to be found these days in most households and I mean more than the mom, dad and children I mean the whole family.  These kids on the street have been abandoned by their parents and extended family.....there can be no other reason.

 

I grew up in a home where we were exposed to a lot of things at a very early age...my personality was not to be victim but to overcome no matter what...now I have control issues.  But that's another subject.  My two younger sisters were not as strong....my youngest ended up on the street, prostituting, drugs.....completely alone....my other sister just started having kids early...her way of surviving.

 

We didn't have parenting.....no one to fight for us....no one to protect us...in the name of I had kids early and whatever we were left to mostly fend for ourselves.

 

I'm a mom today and I will not repeat the mistakes of the past...I will do whatever it takes to protect and teach and nurture my kids.  My heart really goes out to these kids....how alone and scared they must feel.  They act out, they rebel, and they strike back....only hurting others because they hurt.

 

 

i totally understand what these kids are going through every day

i also grew up without my mom and dad however i had this inner strength in me to protect me. cant really explain it since i truly dont know what is it and i am horrible in communicating my feeling, excuse me for that but this is one of the areas i am still working on.

my heart goes out to these innocent kids and they will surely be in my prayers.

 
March 26, 2007, 6:38 pm CDT

where do all the hooker's end up??

the anwser to that is everywhere..i left home at 14, wasnt abused, met  a pimp who was 23 and told me I would own my own home & buss.by the age of 21...being young and dumb., no dad and 6 of us being raised on welfare..sounded good to me and I am the adventurous type, so went for it...I am now 52..."worked" for 30 years and have a great son. I made sure he had a "normal" life and he has finished college & is doing fine. i had plenty of friends that ended up dead. It's a dangerous profession. You have to go by gut instint & street smarts and above all dont use drugs as it will impair your judgment. Do I have any regrets??  Just one...I wished I have saved some money, lived grand thou & always worked in a casino, a safe enviorment. I wouldnt advise this line of work to anyone...I am lucky to be alive & well... have a management  position job, i have see so many of the girls i used to work around turn into crack heads ect...I thank god every day he made me strong enough to make the right decisions, atleast when it came to drug's ect...If you were to come into my place of employment..you  could look at me & never know my past profession. I always took pride in looking like the girl, next door type. not  like  "whoretta  jones...
 
March 27, 2007, 5:27 am CDT

The Time Old Question

I have not watched the show yet but I think I can see where this will be heading. There will be 2 sides forming on this topic...the people who think the parents missed the mark with their kids and the people who think the kids are totaly to blame.

 

So, we will go back to the age old question...Is It Nature or Is It Nuture?

 

For the people who say the parents missed the mark the answer for you would be Nuture.

For the people who think the guilt is only with the kids then your answer is Nature.

 

I for one have to make my answer Nature.  Now granted there are a lot of parents who do miss the mark with their kids, but I think for the most part parents are trying to raise a decent set of kids. To say that ,if any kids steal a car or rob someone or run away and turn into a hooker , all the blame falls completely on the parents is just not clear thinking.

 

Lets face it, their are just some kids out there that get love and attention from their parents but still choose to disobey the law and decide to make their parents life a living hell.

 

With some kids, no matter how much attention you pay them and how well you raise them they still make the choice to do the wrong thing. So the question becomes...What do you do with a kid who has had all the love and support they needed growing up and still decide to do the wrong thing?

 

This subject is a double edged sword. There are some kids who are raised in a very poor family environment and never commit one crime in their lives. But then there are kids who grow up with good family values and commit crimes from the time they can walk. 

 

Then we have to face the issue of everyones opinion of how to raise a kid properly. What one parent may see as the right way another parent will not. So, who is right and who is wrong? Lets just be totally honest here, Not one single person in the world has 100% insite into how to raise a kid perfectly. Every one of us parents are basicly playing it by ear so to speak. We use several things in life to help us raise our kids in the best fashion possilbe.

 

We mostly go by how our family raised us, of course we do vary that up some, but that is usually our starting point. Then we look at the laws our society has laid out for us. And of course we get advice from friends and reading material. But once again, none of these avenues are 100% perfect either. 

 

I guess for me I just can not sit back and say," oh your kid is a criminal so it is obviously something you have done as a parent to turn them into this". But in the same breath," I can not say it is NOT something you have given your kid to make them turn out the way they have. " I don't have the answers on being the perfect parent so I can not sit back and expect another parent to have 100% knowledge of child rearing.

 

I am just one of those people who believe that some kids are just born bad and proper raising will not remedy bad born kids.

 
March 27, 2007, 5:42 am CDT

This nine year old is "something else"!

You know,it would be wonderful to get the 9 year old's energy channeled into something more positive. Seems to me he has a lot of mis-directed goals.I'm so thankful that something terrible hasn't happened to him throughout all of his misadventures. Because he's so young I almost feel a chuckle coming on(ALMOST) He certainly needs a nudge in the right direction. I hope the 16 year old girl can get some counseling and get straightened out. (NO CHUCKLE HERE) When they're so young and we know there is potentially a lot of good positives things ahead of them, it makes me hope all the more that they can get on the right path.
 
March 27, 2007, 9:50 am CDT

I was a runaway ...

 When I was 14 I ran away to the streets because I had no where to go . My mom had just passed away and my dad, shortly after her death abandoned us. I had already faced years of incest at the hands of an uncle and the place we were sent to was not safe...another person in our family started abusing us and when I told a counsellor at school, he turned around and told the abuser and I was kicked out for being a trouble maker.  I had to leave 2 sisters behind who were also abused .I am now almost 50 and after years and years of therapy I have begun the healing process and realize for the first time in my life I was not to blame. I had so much rage and anger, but instead of acting out like this child has, I turned it in at myself.

Runaways are usually running for a reason and most have severe trust issues . As much as we try to teach our children today to talk about these things it is not easy...children always blame themselves, even when it is not their fault.

With my own sons, I had to prove to them as they matured that no matter what they told me, I would always be there for them...I was always careful to not show shock or anger when they had the courage to come to me about something they did. Once, when my son thought that he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant, after all the talks we had about taking precautions ( he was 17 at the time) he was still scared to tell me. He wrote me a letter and gave it to me when he left for school. He was terrified to come home, but he said he trusted that my love was unconditional and I remember when he walked in the door that day, he just stood there, thinking how much he had disappointed me. I just walked over to him and took him in  my arms and hugged him and said to him that he must be so scared right now and he just broke down and cried. I was not disappointed in him...just in his decision. Thankfully she wasn't pregnant, and it gave me an opportunity to show him again that there wasn't anything he could not tell me...

Children need to know that their parents or caregivers, love them unconditionally and we as parents need to be consistant with love and consequences and not be afraid to reach out and ask for help when , as a parent, you have reached the breaking point. Its even harder when you are the only parent, which I am. So many people are ready to blame the child or blame the parent when a child acts out like this, but placing blame only builds walls. Its not about blame or who is at fault...its about finding help for the child and for the parent(s).

I see so many children , street kids and they are younger and younger every year. As a former child runaway, I know what it is like to have no control over the people who have hurt me and when a child has that trust and innocense shattered, by the very adults that were suppose to love and protect them...street life looks like a walk in the park.

 
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