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Topic : 08/02 Explosive Anger and Its Aftermath

Number of Replies: 269
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Created on : Thursday, March 29, 2007, 12:45:35 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/06/07) Do you know a happy person who, if crossed, will explode in an instant with uncontrollable rage? Intermittent Explosive Disorder may explain why Dr. Phil's guests suddenly lose their temper, break things and even hurt other people. Carrie lives with constant uncertainty. She says her husband, Bob, can be totally calm one minute and be fist-fighting the next. He yells and curses at her, flips off other drivers and hit another man so hard it knocked his eye out; an act of violence that landed him in prison. Where does Bob's anger come from? After Dr. Phil shows Carrie and Bob a video of a previous guest, will Carrie decide to leave the anger prison she's been living in? Then, Traci says her 17-year-old daughter, Melinda, is tearing their family apart. In a matter of seconds, she can go from being a loving daughter and sibling, to throwing blenders and threatening her sister's life, for no apparent reason. Melinda says she's so full of anger that when she gets upset, she feels like she's going to explode. Do her mother and sister deserve the treatment they're getting, or is there something much deeper underlying Melinda's rage? Tell us what you think!

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March 31, 2007, 5:25 pm CDT

about to explode

when something or someone makes me upset, it's either i lash out or burst into tears. i don't really understand why. it's so hard to control.  it's so hard to express how i feel and when i try to or even when i don't try, i always feel like im gonna explode.  
 
March 31, 2007, 6:20 pm CDT

If you need help...

Quote From: msitalia

Did you ever think about why your mother acts this way? I am a mother who has the same problem with my children (all over the age 30). In one of these episodes (and the last one)

I found out my children were angry over the fact I was not in their lives when they were growing

up. They were told that I did not care about them, that men and booze was more important than

they were. When they found out the truth of it was, I did care about them. I gave both a large box

of letters, cards, and other correspondance that spanned 20 some years. They learned of a lot of things that prevented us being together as a family.  Today we have a nice small family and we are enjoying each other as well as getting to know each other. Today I have a son and daughter to enjoy along with nine grandchilren ranging from 11 to 8 months. Hopefully before I

die which should be around August 2007 (and hopefully fate will not repeat itself) I will find

another son and daughter and their families to make my family a little larger and re-unite ALL

of my children.

I find missing person's in my career, if you desire help (pro bono), drop by my blog and drop me a note. I would be happy to assist in any way I can.

Visit my profile for my blog address.

 

 

 
March 31, 2007, 7:25 pm CDT

None

My daughter has this problem, and thank God someones finally doing a show about it....The pain and the heartache from this is unspeakable. You can't possibly understand unless you've gone through it yourself...the helplessness, the hopelessness, the dread.....
 
April 1, 2007, 1:46 am CDT

04/06 Explosive Anger and Its Aftermath

Quote From: gwarrior6

Was it a big deal to get angry- no.  Was it overboard to want to strangle her-maybe.  The degree of indignation over something so seemingly trivial (because it's "eating away society like battery acid"), was probably over the top.  I realize I sound like the polite police, but even when i'm rude to someone, i'll acknowledge it and try to do something to even out the social karma. 

 

I can understand that...I am just one of those people, who, when sad, or deep in thought is accused of  "sneering" or looking angry...I also personally often think about those little moments when someone might be upset about something else, thinking about something else, and reacts for a moment to another person in a bad way.

I remember shortly after I had my c-section I was in Walmart, I was still in a lot of pain but I liked to walk around, it made me feel better. So I had a strained, and possibly angry look on my face because of the pain. I wonder if anyone took that the wrong way, not knowing the severe pain I was in at the time.

I dunno...these are my thoughts on this kind of thing.
 
April 1, 2007, 6:20 am CDT

"Social Litter" -good despription.

Quote From: gwarrior6

Politeness is integral to a civilized society.  If people in a society are rude, it's not a CIVILIZED society.  The woman's behavior is nothing but social litter to me.  It's not "nothing' because this kind of behavior leads to social destruction.  Rudeness is nothing more than scaled down sociopathy.  The PMS was just the icing on the cake! LOL!

Qwarrier6 I'd like your input on my anger. You have to trust me on this one,but I hardly ever get angry. And it's normal to get angry. I'm guessing that had I been in your position at Starbuck's I'd have felt very confused. At 52,no PMS for 4 years. (Hot flashes) I sometimes feel like I should get angry more than I do. Sometimes instead of anger I feel down. I have a lot of emotions .Laugh a lot,love, not much hate.I hardly ever cry. When my parents died last year I didn't cry. I felt cold and numb. I told my sister I thought I'd feel better if I could cry. I wonder if I'm out of whack? I think maybe anger makes me feel uncomfortable even though I know it's a normal reaction.
 
April 1, 2007, 7:24 am CDT

My husband is the same way.

My husband is the same way. He will just be setting there doing whatever and just flipped is lid. I never feel physically in danger he has never hit me, never threatened to hit me but it's annoying. I mean just a few days ago we were headed out to lunch just me, him and my daughter. We were all talking nice about things i had seen we should do in the future as an outing. He was really happy. When he went into the bedroom and couldn't find a shirt he wanted to wear. he had either worn them to work and dirtyed them beyond repair or they were wrinkly. He yanked the drawer out and threw it on the floor, got the iron and started ironing and than yanked the cord out the wall and broke the iron. Walked around the house yelling and crusing. Than After a few min. yanked up a shirt and just said 'Ok lets go' and it was over as quick as it started....

But at that point he had scared our daughter and had me kind of shaken up. But all he has to say about it was he was mad about not having a shirt. But what these kind of people don't realize is Normal people don't just get over it like that... We can't just go on our day with out thinking about that epasode. Why couldn't he just say 'Oh i can't find a shirt i want to wear why don't i iron one..' No he's go to show his A** all over the house.

 
April 1, 2007, 5:20 pm CDT

04/06 Explosive Anger and Its Aftermath

Having worked in retail, I've seen more than my fair share of these people.

You know, the woman who screams because you had the NERVE to sell out of a sale item before she got there ( call ahead I guess ), or the person who gets angry if the cashier has the NERVE to make a mistake on their change, or put sugar in a coffee by mistake etc. I'm sure you can see where I'm going here.

Love the people who stand behind a mentally challenged person or elderly person who is counting out their change, go to another register for heaven's sake, huffing and puffing and looking at their watches, if you're in that big of a hurry pick a better time to shop.

We all get angry, and for some of us, its easy to avoid the triggers, it took awhile for me to learn my triggers, and how to either A avoid them or B get past them.  I have no patience for city driving, so when we go to the city, my husband drives, he grocery shops as well (I don't know what it is about the grocery store that makes me want to scream, I never have, but I just feel the queasiness in my gut when I have to go ).  I have learned how to be patient with the people who like to "beat around the bush " just say what you mean, but it was a learning process, and it does take soul searching, and maybe unpleasant memories being dragged up, but it can be done.

 
April 1, 2007, 6:34 pm CDT

Internalizing...

Quote From: housewife52

Qwarrier6 I'd like your input on my anger. You have to trust me on this one,but I hardly ever get angry. And it's normal to get angry. I'm guessing that had I been in your position at Starbuck's I'd have felt very confused. At 52,no PMS for 4 years. (Hot flashes) I sometimes feel like I should get angry more than I do. Sometimes instead of anger I feel down. I have a lot of emotions .Laugh a lot,love, not much hate.I hardly ever cry. When my parents died last year I didn't cry. I felt cold and numb. I told my sister I thought I'd feel better if I could cry. I wonder if I'm out of whack? I think maybe anger makes me feel uncomfortable even though I know it's a normal reaction.

Hormones are a huge part of behavior-or mine anyway.  I get "flashes" of anger- boom!  It hits me, and I see red!  A lot of it, I think has to do with a "mellowing" out after menopause or peri-menopausal period.  Do you take Estrogen Replacement Therapy (ERT)?  You may need an adjustment in treatment.  You may need to see a psychiatrist AND OBGYN to understand the problem.  Just guesses, i don't know your exact case, but I hope you see both regularly, it may be a biological thing.

 

As far as feeling "cold and numb" after your parents death, totally normal to feel that way... I felt the same way after my grandfather died when I was a teenager, it may just be your way of grieving.  There's no wrong way to feel about their deaths, it may be a complex thing tied into how you feel about them...whoa, i think i went deeper into that than i intended!

 

I get angry more than I should, I think I have pure testosterone in my veins sometimes, and I wish I could be more in control of it!  I'd rather be in your shoes, than the possibility of incarceration because I couldn't close Pandora's box.

 
April 1, 2007, 8:36 pm CDT

Anger

I can relate, I have an anger problem.  My mother died 6 years ago, and it seems like only a year.  My dad just went through Cancer and I am raising my brothers child.  She is a problem child on top of that.  I have tried to have patience with her, but she knows how to push my buttons.  When things go wrong, its always my fault.  She could do the worst thing possible and somehow its my fault.  I get really tired of hearing well if I would just cut her some slack.  When you do that it gets worse.  It seem that I am being taken advantage of and all they care about is me cleaning their house and taking care of her.  I do almost everything, and I feel that I can't say no to them, cause I promised my mom, that I would take care of things.  That is such a big thing to promise to someone, and yet so unfair to the person you leave behind.  Somehow they always make me feel guilty and I bust my butt trying to take care of things.  The stress is starting to cause health problems now, and I also have a anger problem.  I guess because I feel trapped and I can't in a corner.  I know that is no excuse for being angry, but I am.  It doesn't take much to set me off either, and some times the anger is so overwhelming.  I can relate and you do feel sorry for the things you say or do.  I have tried reading books on anger and its not helped. I just thought I would share that with you.  Thanks for listening.
 
April 2, 2007, 5:15 am CDT

04/06 Explosive Anger and Its Aftermath

Quote From: gwarrior6

Hormones are a huge part of behavior-or mine anyway.  I get "flashes" of anger- boom!  It hits me, and I see red!  A lot of it, I think has to do with a "mellowing" out after menopause or peri-menopausal period.  Do you take Estrogen Replacement Therapy (ERT)?  You may need an adjustment in treatment.  You may need to see a psychiatrist AND OBGYN to understand the problem.  Just guesses, i don't know your exact case, but I hope you see both regularly, it may be a biological thing.

 

As far as feeling "cold and numb" after your parents death, totally normal to feel that way... I felt the same way after my grandfather died when I was a teenager, it may just be your way of grieving.  There's no wrong way to feel about their deaths, it may be a complex thing tied into how you feel about them...whoa, i think i went deeper into that than i intended!

 

I get angry more than I should, I think I have pure testosterone in my veins sometimes, and I wish I could be more in control of it!  I'd rather be in your shoes, than the possibility of incarceration because I couldn't close Pandora's box.

Sticking my nose in with a suggestion here, but have you tried B vitamins ( our "Happy" vitamins as my daughter would call them ) and evening Primrose, totally natural and for me anyway they helped curb PMS enough that I no longer feel like strangling people in front of me (hehe, been there done that myself ) or feeling thankful I don't carry a gun in my car in the city ( honest to god the road rage was THAT bad with city driving especially ), and its helped me be better able to deal with the public.

Its just a suggestion, but with PMS, for some of us it can be 0- bitch in less than sixty seconds and can turn an otherwise nice normal woman into a raving lunatic, we take what relief we can, just a thought, good luck.

 
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