Topic : 08/27 Bully Dads

 I just have to put my 2 cents about your comment that Step-parents should not be discipling their  step-children.  I  really have to disagree with you.  I have both a step-mother and a step-father and they both disciplined my sister and me.  I see absolutly nothing wrong with it.  Kids need to respect authority in the family, whether it is a parent or step-parent.  I feel that is what is wrong with some of the world, kids have no respect for ANYONE!  If a step-parent has to step in and discipline a child, so be it.  They are part of a family, not a visitor to it!

This guy needs to be in jail - I lived this as a child and KNOW first hand what it does to a child's self esteem.  I vowed to myself when I was 8 years old that I would never treat a child of mine like that.  I watched my father beat my older brother until he was on the floor and then kick him down the hall.  That brother has been married and/or in LTA's 7 or 8 times.  Each of this partners has been abused; he has been on drugs and in jail.  My younger brother lives on the streets and is a drug addict.  My older sister is on her second abusive marriage.    I have not been able to sustain a health adult relationship but I never physically abused my son.  However, I caught myself on occassion being verably abusive.  Fortunately, I taught my son to stand up for himself and he would call me on it - but I know I damaged him just the same.  By the way, my oldest brother denies that my dad abused him - he says it was our mom.  She was also abusive but not the the extent of our father.  This woman needs to get herself and her children out of that situation NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES.  These children did not ask to be there and a parent's responsibility is to protect them, Period.

I watched this show today as was sickened by both parents.  Him for the bullying and her for the attitude.  She is no angel either.  I believe her children have watched this all their lives from others including her.  STOP MAKING EXCUSES LADY AND GET OFF THE POT.  I have never been so angry with a Mother who allows her children to live like this for one minute. I think the mother is not telling the whole truth.

I am watching this episode right now and I am just in TEARS. In the video of the first couple, it shows the step-dad  leaning over his BABY girl, trying to attack his stepson. The baby girl is SCREAMING, out of fear! This is just SICKENING! And then he says that he stays home 5 night a week with the kids while the mom goes to school. EXCUSE ME???? What levelheaded mother would LEAVE her children with this man, knowing what he does to them???

 

This show should not only be called "Bully Dads", but "Stupid moms". If you're with a man who ABUSES your children, LEEAAAAVVVVVEEEE! You dont stay with a man who treat YOU or your own CHILREN like this. Its just ridiculous and these people should have their kids taken away and put within a SAFE home wth people who will LOVE them.

It was awful to watch wasn't it? But did you happen to see the follow-up? It might have made you whole again.

That little girl screaming and covering her ears is me 45 years ago.

My father brutalized my brother. My mother stood by him.

 

On my mother's death bed she unloaded on me that she wished she had divorced my dad and took my brother and me away when we were younger.

 

I, like many of you on this board, ended up caring for my dad until he passed earlier this year.

 

The only way to find peace is to forgive your abuser.

 

Please everyone reading this board remember, the child who IS NOT the object of the abuse but WITNESESS the abuse is being abused just as much if not worse.

Everyone forgets about the little kids covering their ears and begging their mom or dad to stop yelling at their brother or sister. These kids need as much help as the kid being abused.

 

After years of depression and other destructive behaviors I am finally finding peace. I am starting my new life when I hit 50. 50 will be my new birthday.

 

I don't understand why the mothers stay with these men. To me, they are just as guilty of child abuse as the abusing male. In fact the mothers make me angrier. They should know better.

 

Thank you Dr; Phil for bringing this to the attention of your audience.

Thank god someone else feels this way. There is not any reason in the world that makes it ok for this man (and I use that word loosley) to treat those precious children that way.

i can sympathize with these kids and watching the show today just made me mad. i am no longer a child but i am an adult that has lived there pain way to long. being in my late 30's and still go through it  every now and then well that's along story. i just hope these people know what the mental effect will be on there kids because it ain't pretty.  i wonder when things like this go on why people have children or even get involved with others, it's just one of those questions. it's very sad and i hope those kids and others like them dosen't effect them to bad.

I just heard you say Kevin, that your own sister agrees with you. I bet after she sees how you act towards those precious children, she will not think quite so highly of you!!!
I hope you end up in jail

 They were fighting because this full grown Dad was talking to his own 14 year old daughter, telling her "he hates his stepchildren" and you think that the mother is wrong for not disciplinning this child?

What should this child have done that would have been appropriate to you, when this full grown man is terrorising the entire house?

You clearly have a nice husband because anyone that has ever had a bully have power over them, would know how to identify the victim here, and would understand the helplessness this small, young child feels. I wonder how your own children would have reacted had their stepfather talked to apparently their entire family, stepsister, aunt and uncle and everyone according to this full grown bullying man.? hmmm , but you would have swooped in, in your supermom suits and saved the day right? you would have spanked the child , or given him a timeout? How would  that have changed a single dimension of this horrible situation? The kid is still being bullied, by a man that hates him and had taken it upon himself to prove to the world how horrible  this ABUSED CHILD is.  The mother learned poor decision making skills because she has never had any power either.  but you have the answer, teach your child that respect means nothing because you are forced to give it to people  that don't deserve it. This reinforces the bad  behavior, in case you couldn't figure that out for yourself, If you have done this to your own children, YOU are giuilty of abuse, you have taught your child poor coping skills and you should apologize to them and explain why you were wrong.