Topic : Coping with Stress

I recently began doing breathing meditation exercises and am finding it greatly helpful. Also I find listening to music to be helpful as well.

 

vickie

mayebe i will try that too stress can really be harmful thanks for the tips

your so right about stress being harmful.It hurts us not only emotionally but physically as well.All of us face 1 form or another of stress in our lifes.I am learning from DrPhil's books healthier ways to cope with stressful moments and events in my life.In his UWS book he recommends trying  the meditation.Hope you find it as helpful as I have.

 

 

vickie

When my daughter was having a rough time with her bipolar, I realized I was stressing out but not doing anything for myself. I started exercising and have found it wonderful for both my health but I can pound away the thoughts while running or doing weight training. Also yoga is great. I cannot do all the funky poses BUT I do what I can and it is wonderful. When in a stressful situation we need to take time for ourselves.

Tammy

exercise is also a great way to deal with stress plus like you said you get the wonderful results for your health.I use to also clean house--even when it didn't need it.Yoga would also be great.This might sound strange but I use to walk outside,and touch my hand to a tree,this too would help calm me.I can't explain it,just know it worked.I am not able to do any of those things at this time in my life-so I have to find non physical activities to help me cope with stess.I do have a stress ball,I recently got.But I have to be careful not to over do it,cause I hurt my hands using it 1 day.Thank you for sharing all your great ideas and suggestions.Your so right,we need to take time for ourselfs, when stressful situations arise in our lifes.

 

vickie

I have been surfing around the new boards.  I read a few of the posts here.  I have got major stress in my life.  What I have found is if I don't live it every day.  Things are really bad then.  For example.  Seems like everytime I do something I like to do or go somewhere and have fun, then I have to have something bad happen.  I will pay for having fun or being happy.  If I stay all stressed out all the time, then things are fine.  Crazy I know.  But I have been paying attention to this and it happens every time.  I have a day where I feel good and I am in a good mood.  Boom, I will get a letter from the IRS that they are going to audit me.  I take a day and play with my grandson, again, I get a phone call someone in my family has been hurt or injured.  So, I have just given up enjoying my self.  As long as I am in constant worry over something then things seem to stay on an even level.  When I do have time to think about myself, I sit and cry.  I can cry for and entire afternoon, because I am so heartbroken.  Another thing that has been happening to me is post traumatic stuff.  When my husband and I were first married and having children, life was less than perfect.  We had a lot of struggles and had some really bad times. We came so close to being homeless a coulple of times, it wasn't funny.  Bad part was we had family members going around in the background doing this to us.  We had absolutely no support or help.   We are fine now and the kids are all grown and gone, but I keep having flash backs.  Back to that time and it is almost like being shot with a gun.  It just stops me in my tracks.  I get very upset all over again and it doesn't even matter any more.  I just don't feel having a happy life is possible.

 

 

This may not make a lot of sense to you unless you watch Dr Phil, or have read any of his books. I think you are letting past events color your present and future. You seem to be seeing the world through defensive lenses, and are stuck with the idea that all of your happiness has to be paid for with some unhappiness or stress. Have you put your thoughts, and reactions to stressful situations to the truth test? For instance, why would enjoying time with your grandson be in any way related to being audited by the IRS? And what truth is there to the idea that any time spent in happiness with your grandson will lead to something bad like a phone call about an injury in the family? What you are doing with these thoughts is paving the way to ruining time with your grandson, or at worst, unconciously arranging for unpleasantness. You both would lose if this were to happen. Dr Phil's SELF MATTERS book is an excellent guide to help you get at the root of any faulty or flawed thinking patterns, and to help you free yourself from the destructive cycle they can create. Please consider picking up a copy and reading it, it can be a life saver. Good luck to you.

Thanks for the kind words.  You may be right.  I am sure that I have distructive thoughts and I am always looking for the bad stuff.  But, I can't ignore actuality.  This stuff actually happens.  There is no connection with playing with my grandson and the IRS.  But this is the type of thing that happens.  I have a good day and have fun, the next day I get something in the mail, or a phone call and everything I enjoyed is slammed to the ground.  I am not supposed to be happy.  I can go around and think good thoughts and talk to myself and say I am not going to be sad today.  But it never fails.  I could sit and meditate and try to calm my mind, only to be jerked out of tranquility by the phone ringing.

I wish I had an outlet where I could just post a message and tell all this fowl people that think they need to jerk me around, to stop.

I also wish I knew how to handle people better.  I have drawn so many lines in the sand and set so many boundries that I don't even remember them all.

I am doing some better, because I have managed to get away from alot of the negative stuff in my life and move on and the way I am feeling now, may only be some residual feelings left over.  UP until now I have lead a very negative life where alot of people thought they needed to run me or tell me what to do all the time.  I have spent an insane amount of time, trying to get away from them and I have, but I still have work to do and I guess I am just tired of itl.

 

I am so confused.  I watch Dr. Phil just about everyday.  I love him.  In my mind he makes alot of sence and even if he is not talking about a subject that relates to something I am dealing with I always seem to come away with a little pearl of wisdom that I can apply to my own life.  I have been at this struggle for 30 years and it is not an easy task to just leave behind.

 

Thanks again for writing.

 

 

Well, it happened today.  This was a very bad day for me.  It didn't happen because I don't read Dr. Phil books, or watch his show.  It's not all in my mind either.

 

I just want to apologise for coming to these message boards, looking for someone to talk to.  Looking for a little support.  I was obviously very wrong to do that.  I am so sorry to have bothered anyone with my problems.  I hope my presents here didn't offend anyone.

 

I can't say it enough about how sorry I am.  I will no longer be coming here looking for support.

 

I am sooooo Sorry!!!!!!

 

Normalita, why are you apologising? If you are going to use this kind of logic, shouldn't I apologise to you for answering you and bringing on the "bad luck"? Life happens. It's a good practice to guard against bad things by living right, but sometimes tornadoes come anyway. If you constantly look for bad things on the heels of every good moment you have, guess what? they will come.  Balance is enjoying the good times, and realizing that life is ups and downs, so sooner or later you will have to manage stress. Health and authenticity helps us to realize that life's down times will not destroy who we are, and what we think about ourselves inside. Have you considered that you may be addicted to stress, and over-react to situations in order to make them more stressfull than they need to be?