We see a lot of episodes on transgenders and bipolars,but do we ever see any episodes on the woman who live with such people?
I met a very kind man a few years back who was so gentle,humble and was always eager to help around.He is the most intelligent person I have ever met in my life,I personally think like everyone else who knows him that he's a geneous.We spent a lot of time together and we eventually fell in love.The town where we were living was not in very good shape and a lot of businesses were shutting down including my own.He had no work either,so we decided to move to a city where he would be close to his family.I was having a lot of health problems and needed a complete knee replacement in both knees.We stayed in a motel room for 2 months until we found a descent place to rent.Since he had not worked for a long time I paid for the move,motel food,rent etc.When we moved in the house we rented,I realized he was not looking for work and I told him at least one of us had to work and if it had to be me I would look for work even with my health problems I would try.All this time,his mother was after me to go look for any kind of job,but would not tell him he should look for work.She was and still is after him to do her errands and whatever..She has been controlling him since we moved here.And she always told me nice things like"my hair is the same colour as her dogs hair and her daughter's dogs' hair and never gives up humiliating me especially in front of other people.Our first Chrismas here together was special cause we spent it alone,which is what we both wanted.The second one,we were with his family and all I got was his mother agian humiliating me.The following Christmas,I went to spend it with my daughter where I would be comfortable.He did not want to come with me because he didn't want to hurt his mother's feelings..He had already startd drifting away from me and he did not accept when I would politely put his mother in her place.She knew what she was doing.Two years ago,I went to visit some friends in my home town,and people that knew him well told me he could never keep a job.He is now 53 years old and is proud to say he had 51 jobs in all his life.While I was away for 3 weeks,he spent a lot of time with his sister who is seperated and has 3 kids.He took her out dining and all kinds of places I had always wanted him to take me but he was always too tired.During the first few years we were together,he begged me several times to tie him up and strap him and said that would excite him sexually.He would shave his whole body and wear diapers periodicly for 5 to 6 days at a time.He also bought me a book on how to become a mistress.
The night I came back,He sat at his computer and looked very deep in thought while he was typing up a letter.When he went to his sister's place the next morning,I opened his email and found the letter he wrote to his brother in law who is a reconstructive surgeon asking him to connect him to a surgeon who would do a sex change on him.He had shaved his whole body again but this time his beard also which he had wore since he was 20 years old.He also had let his nails grow.One day ,his sister called and I was in tears after finding this out.She asked me what was wrong and I told her I thought he was on a nervous breakdown and he should seek medical help.She called him at work early the next morning to tell him I said I wanted to have him locked up in a nut house.He came home in a rage and threw me a fit.When I told him I never said that,he said his sister doesn't lie and she protects him.His eyes were so mean,he did't even look the same anymore.
Two weeks later he had to go and see his employer to pick up some papers.I went with him and while he was meeting his boss,I decided to pick up garbage that was lying aound in his van and I came accross a love letter he had written to his sister,telling her about a lot of dirty fantasys he had of her and that every day he prayed the God that someday he would join them together.
She is a nurse and convinced him he is transgender.She told him she works with transgenders that try to commit suicide when they don't get a sex change operation.I inquired the hospital where she works and there is no Phsyc.ward at that hospital.
He went from the sweetest man to being a monster with me .If he broke fingernail he would treat me like dirt and would look at me with so much hatred.
Finally when my daughter came to visit me last june,2008 with her 2 little boys,He threw me a fit for no reason in front of them and was provoking me to react which I didn't.The next day she told me I had to get out asap before he would get violent and lose control.I called a shelter and made arrangements to go there the next day.When we told him I was leaving he cryed and kept telling me he didn't want me to leave.
The first time I called him to go and pick up some of my personal things was 3 weeks after I had left.He was so happy to hear from me.When I saw him,he looked terrible.I had not found an appartment yet when I had to leave the shelter so I had to stay with him for 2 months.He stopped shaving and did not hang around with his sister etc.,and told me several times I didn't have to leave.But I told him I did not want to live with him anymore because I didn't want to go through all this over again.
He was bending over backwards for me and when I found an apartment,he help me set it up and moved my belongings in december,2008.
Now he's back into shaving again and started a new job and on spending sprees,buying woman's clothing,make-up,wigs and whatever a woman buys.Groceries are not important.He owes about 5,000.00 in rent,internet and cable have been disconnected,and soon it will be the phone and utilities again.He's not even sure if he'll want to keep his teaching job which he just stated 3 weeks ago.
I still love him dearly and I feel sorry for him and I truly would like to help him but I don't know how.
I can't forget all the special times we had together and how he had always made me feel so special,it's so hard to let him go.He sometimes says if he doesn't get surgery soon,he will die and that scares me.He refuses to get help because he says he knows what he wants.I know he will never get surgery because he can't keep a job long enough to save the money for that,plus he would need a lot of plastic surgery in his face cause he does not look like a woman at all even when he's dressed like one,make-up,wig and all.
I hope someone will have advice for me.Thank you,Lulu
