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Topic : How Childhood Abuse Still Affects Me

Number of Replies: 1367
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:00:06 am
Author : dataimport
Are you an abuse survivor? How do you cope? Share your story.

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July 24, 2005, 6:07 am CDT

life after abuse can be enjoyed

Hello everyone.

  I am new to the message board.but I felt compelled to speak up.I am 40 this year so that means I have been fighting the memorie demans for 38 years now.thankfully to good pepole Like DR Phil. I am a verry happy woman.all the help in the world will never be able to make you forget.but with Dr Phil's kind of help.you can forgive and then you can begin to forgive your self hardest thing we have to do as survivers is to forgive our own selfs.then we can begin to LOVE ourselfs again.As abuse victims we did not do anything wrong so long as we survied.but we tend to blame ourself's for what we had no controll over.but we have controll over the future so everyday we need to tell ourselfs how much we matter in the world.Look forward to all the blessings comeing our way.and be very thankfull for all the blessings in our life now today.

                 Wishing everyone well.

                       Lepshen

 
July 24, 2005, 3:44 pm CDT

Getting used to the "Boards..."

I am not sure I like this new board, of course change isn't always easy. I don't know if anyone that used to be on here will come back, but I am starting therapy again, finally.

It has been almost 3 months and going through all the flashbacks, memories and feelings of all the abuse has really been hard for me.

My husband doesn't realize how hard it is because I am real good at hiding how depressed I really am. We just moved a couple of months ago and I am away from the  family. I lived in the old area for 21 years, so moving didn't help. but I have a better selection of therapists and such. Before I had  choice of two. At least I am feeling hopeful!

 
July 24, 2005, 7:31 pm CDT

Hi Everyone

Childhood abuse affected me up until 55 days ago I am 41 and something REALLY amazing happened to me.. I would really like to share it with you if you all would like to hear it.  It was quite healing and remarkable..

 

I used to have triggers with black gloves..

Have anxiety attacks in Restaurants..

Want to die..

Hate life then poof..

Its all gone

 

Also Agoraphobia

and every single fear on the planet EARTH too..

 

 
July 25, 2005, 11:25 am CDT

Been more than once

I feel like an oddball and perhaps I'm not.  I guess I know that noone is REALLY alone when it comes to any subject or experience so here's mine to share.  If you're a victim/survivor then maybe my voice lent to yours will help you know that you are not alone either.  I have experienced sexual abuse from more men than I can count on one hand.  From the time I was 7 with an uncle, to my other uncles, my grandfather, my neighbors and even my dad in later years.  Its disgusting and sickening.  The worst thing is that I have taken all the pain onto myself and because of it, as one psychologist told me, I'm overweight as a protection against such occurances happening again...and again.  The more I think of it, the more I know she was right but still I can't stop myself and truly get a grip on my thoughts...enough to want to lose weight and look good.  When I have lost weight and my husband (of 26 years) responds, I feel sick inside, feel panicky, and I stop dieting.  I know I'm not alone.  I'm sure others here have experienced more than one incident with more than one man.  Although I hate men for this, I love my husband....am I just hopeless and crazy?
 
July 25, 2005, 11:55 am CDT

It's the same for me

Quote From: catskat3

I feel like an oddball and perhaps I'm not. I guess I know that noone is REALLY alone when it comes to any subject or experience so here's mine to share. If you're a victim/survivor then maybe my voice lent to yours will help you know that you are not alone either. I have experienced sexual abuse from more men than I can count on one hand. From the time I was 7 with an uncle, to my other uncles, my grandfather, my neighbors and even my dad in later years. Its disgusting and sickening. The worst thing is that I have taken all the pain onto myself and because of it, as one psychologist told me, I'm overweight as a protection against such occurances happening again...and again. The more I think of it, the more I know she was right but still I can't stop myself and truly get a grip on my thoughts...enough to want to lose weight and look good. When I have lost weight and my husband (of 26 years) responds, I feel sick inside, feel panicky, and I stop dieting. I know I'm not alone. I'm sure others here have experienced more than one incident with more than one man. Although I hate men for this, I love my husband....am I just hopeless and crazy?

I went the other route, that of anorexia till about 34 years of age. Left that husband that demanded I be thin or no lovin, to a man who is 350 lbs. and totally obsessed with food. I have started with flashbacks and now I am over weight and don't' want to be touched by my husband, who I love, or anyone else.

I get that sick feeling inside of me, I try to tell myself it isn't my abusers and all that, but it doesn't help. I can't seem to shake the feelings of the abused child I was.

Are you still seeing that psychologist? I am starting with a new counselor in August, and hope to get past this hopeless feeling of the abuse never going away.

I am starting a diet today so I hope that I can be healthy, both physically and emotionally about it, it is tough. Trying to keep men from looking at me has been my success of being over weight.  Good luck to you!

 
July 25, 2005, 1:51 pm CDT

You Guys!!!!!!!

Have you read the book?????? Doctor Phil covers this exact thing in LIFE STRATEGIES!!!!!!  I swear to YOU!!!  I HAVE ALSO BEEN THERE .....Staying Large to keep people away!!!!

 

By the way that is a very nice picture!    xoxox

 
July 25, 2005, 3:21 pm CDT

Your not the ponly one.

I was raped when I was 3 by a next door neightbor at 11 by my Dad's friend and 13-14 by my Mm's bf.  It affected me because I felt like I needed always need a guy.  And I started cutting because I had low self esteem.  And I am now only 17 but I have changed my life around I am drug and alchol free and no smoking and I got my GED because i dropped out as a freshman because I was pregnant from my mom's boyfriend.  Now I have my license and I'm going to be going to college this fall full time at night.

 
July 25, 2005, 4:12 pm CDT

Im so sorry to hear.....

Quote From: fungrl87

I wasraped when I was 3 by a next door neightbor at 11 by my Dad's friend and 13-14 by my Mm's bf. It affected me because I felt like I needed always need a guy. And I started cutting because I had low self esteem. And I am now only 17 but I have changed my life around I am drug and alchol free and no smoking and I got my GED because i dropped out as a freshman because I was pregnant from my mom's boyfriend. Now I have my license and I'm going to be going to college this fall full time at night.

the terrible things that happened to you too......I am glad you turned your life around!  Great for you girl...KEEP movin forward.....YOU GO GIRL
 
July 25, 2005, 11:46 pm CDT

Just wondering....

 Hello....I am nervous to write this, because once it is out, its out, no turing back. Well, I was just wondering if there was anyone out there that I could relate with, and well, as I have read, there is. You see, my situation is I have nobody to talk to, so I am turing to this, hoping there is somebody who knows what I am going through. Without sounding like I am feeling sorry for myself, I do not know what to do...I am 29 years old, and have been married about 10 years now. When I was about 9 my brother raped me, I cannot believe I am writing this down; and from when I can remember my dad was physically and mentally abusive to me, while my mom did nothing. First off, nobody knows about my situation with my brother to this day, I am too afraid to say anything. My dad and I are good since I am married, the last time he put his hands on me was right before I got married at age 19. I have never gotten help with my abuse, except one time, and the Dr. told me in not so many words it was my fault....and have not searched for help since. My question is.....my husband has a lot of traits that my father and brother have, like their anger and controll issue, but do not get me wrong I love my husband he saved my life. My issue is everytime I see a situation get ugly I become the victim all over again, and I take it out on my husband and it is ruining my marriage. Not only did my abuse ruin my childhood, it is now ruining my adulthood. My husband was also abused, and has issues of his own. We fight because we do not want to get hurt. How do we get over this? Please, if anyone is, or has gone through this, can you help me? Thank you so much.

 
July 26, 2005, 6:42 am CDT

yes Softball....yes

The exact same thing happened to me..

Your life does not need to be ruined.  Dr. Phil covers this in his book life stragies and he gives you all the reasons and what to do.  Now get yourself to the store and buy that book!  I wish I would have bought it YEARS ago but he only wrote it about two years ago.  Its not gut wrenching or anything like that its more like "BOINK" thats why I think that way!!!! OH or  GEEZ>>>>More like the light inside your brain goes on in the place where the abuse took place truly..xoxoxox

 

He provides not only a VERY CLEAR and gentle "DR" reason of inside thinking but a lets look at this BS and now lets sweep this BS up and "CLEAR OUT the cob webs and get on with this thing we call life.....your worth it...IM worth.....so dont allow your brother  your FATHER not for one more day to abuse you whether it be invisable or anyway or your husband's abuser's  live your life  and then let your husband read it CHOOSE TO BE WINNERS NOT LOOSERS  xoxoxoxoxo  THAT IS ALL THAT NEEDS TO BE SAID GO GET THAT BOOK AND THEN TALK TO ME  YOU WILL BE HAPPY AFTER YOU READ 304 pages  end of discussion!

 
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