Topic : Staying Sick or Exaggerating for the Payoff?

I read your message and I almost can't believe it. I am very sorry, I don't want to talk bad about the US, but as far as health care is concerned, you people live in the stone age. Everything is possible in a medical sense, but nobody can afford it. I totally fail to understand why such a "developed" country makes affordable health insurance such a low priority......... 

I wish you all the luck in the world... I hope that you will get the medical care you need. 

Mikao 

What a sad story! I'm sorry that your mother in law is so unfriendly to you. Please don't lose your good spirit because of that. You have to live with your husband, and if you and he are both happy, nothing is wrong. I've never been married, but if I'm correct the marriage vows say something like 'for better or for worse'. Keep your strength, and don't let your negative mother in law influence you in a bad way. Stay yourself!

Mikao

I'm so sorry for all the pain you have to endure. I think there is no friendly way to tell your sister that she has to seek help. Especially if she is in denial about her being a hypochondriac. I think she will put up a verbal fight. Be careful with how you approach this but telling her to visit a psychiatrist is going to upset her I think. Just think how you would respond if the situation was the other way around?

Mikao

Hi,

I too, am so sorry to hear of your problems.  When it comes to women and doctors that have no clue they will tell you it is in your head and that you do not have what you do and feel.  What you need to do is to keep going and find a doctor that will listen to you.  I went through many till I found one who is the dearest Doctor there is and compassionate, caring and takes the time to listen and actually act on what I tell her.  She does not take it as all in my head.  I think women need women doctors who may just have a clue as to what women go through each month and then some.  Since having all women doctors for my health care I have done better and they have actually taken the time to find what problems I have and have been working on helping me with them.  Not all is successful and known but it is better than the past and we are hopeful that someday I will be more back to normal and feeling much better.   Time will tell.  I try to be upbeat, but that is not how it is all the time either and we all need to be aware who have health problems of how the physical affects the mental and vice versa and especially if you cannot even get the care or be taken seriously as is needed.

As to your passing blood in your bowel movements, get checked for colitis as this can cause bleeding, get checked for  dueodendum (I may have it spelled wrong) ulcers and ulcers period.  These are causes of blood in the stool as well as some cancers and that is not to scare you.  I would be willing to bet that it is colitis.  I am not sure if IBS - Irritable Bowel Syndrome causes bleeding so that should be checked also.  I do know that all of these cause extreme to light abdominal pains and can also cause diahreaa and constipation and any thing in between the two.   Is it possible you are losing enough blood to have a B-12 iron deficiency and that may be contributing to the migraines?  I am not sure on that one, but you have to look for this and that to come up with what is going on and sometimes it is a group of things and sometimes it is not.

I believe that I read somewhere that for shingles it is good to soak in salt water in the tub or if you are in a warm climate and near the beach, use it.  However the sun may aggravate it.  Table salt or Epsom Salt works good found at the dollar stores or pharmacy .  I think I also read that Oatmeal soaks and oatmeal lotion works for the shingles and to help with the itching and pain.  I believe in using more natural things if it is possible or in conjunction with prescribed too.   Oatmeal soaks can be found at CVS Drugstores and health food stores and such.  Lotions are there also.  Sometime the dollar stores also have this type of stuff, more times the lotion though.

You should be able to go to your local hospital clinic to get checked for the migraines after your doctor checks you and refers with the specifics.  One natural alternative is Feverfew at WalMart for cheaper pricing.  It can help with headaches for some.  Just be aware that it can have alergic side effects if you are allergic to some plants and the like.   Make sure it will not cuase any other problems if you are on any meds by mixing them.  You have to keep pushing when they do not listen and I have all women doctors at this point and have gotten the best care from them than I ever did with the men doctors who laughed at what I told them.  It was not funny and having health problems is nothing to laugh at no matter if it shows to the outside world or not.  It took ten years of pushing to have them find one of my health problems and another 20 years to find the next one.  No, we are not always taken seriously and it is our job to push to find another doctor who takes us seriously.  If it were them they would want the same.  If I remember right I think migraines can be attributed to the shingles.  You need to become aware of when each attacks and if they are in conjuction.  It could be one thing is kicking up the other and unless all is worked on as a group you still will not feel better.  Make sure that whomever you see other than your primary care doctor sends a report to your primary care doctor so theyare aware of all the findings and all can work together to help you. 

As to the heart Murmur, I hope you are seeing a doctor and being watched.  My cousin who was 48 when he found out he had one now has brain damage due to he never knew he had it and only found out when he had the stroke.    It is now two+ years later and he is still struggling to make a comeback with his memory and doing other life functions and such.

When it is your health and you have children you owe it to the children as well to make sure you take care of yourself so you will be there for them for many, many years to come. 

Good sites for medical info is:

http://www.merck.com  

http://www.pepcidac.com

I hope some of this is of help to you.  I wish you the best of luck.  God bless and help you through it all.

Sincerely, Viv 

P.S.  I also think it is awful nice of the gentleman Mikao to offer his words, it does make a difference to know someone cares in spite of not being able to change anything.  It is just nice to know someone cares enough to write encouraging words.

I too know exactly how your feel. I have been to so many doc over the past three years and they all look at me like i am crazy, as a matter of fact they have even convinced me that i need to seek mental help which i have. I too have pain and for another person too try and convince you that your not really feeling what you are is incredible. i'm beginning to notice that my family is also starting to make little comments about all my pain and sickness being in my head. i have felt so bad for so long that just taking one day at a time is getting to be more than I want to do. If i can't find help to make me function as a normal person that I had just as soon end it now and let everyone go on normally with their lives.

Hi I too have many medical problems, MS, Fibromyalgia, Peripheal Neuropathy, those are my 3 biggies....they are real, they are painful...at one point I was getting dizzy all the time, tihs was a new one for me, stress and depression can cause dizzyness, so it is important to relieve areas in your life that cause you stress...it must be done....I understand you saying all you do is get up to go to yet another doctor's appt...sounds like what I do...my weeks are planned around my doctors who actually do nothing for me haha....geez...girl, we have to stand strong and get up outta that bed each day, do what is normal as much as possible daily....desease has it's way of robbing you in many ways...depression naturally goes along with all the changes we must face dealing with our diagnosis...we can not allow the very same desease to rob our mind too...it will if we will allow it to...

I sit on my computer all day to distract myself from what my body is feeling...pain medicine doesn't touch my pain...so, somehow, you must make a decision that you will not allow your health problems to be WHO YOU ARE......also, make sure all of your doctor's know what the others are prescribing, it is important to take medicines that work together and not against each other...medicine must be monitored very carefully

My grandmother had lupus, she was actually in the first group diagnoses in the 80's...so I know about this horrible deases as well.....TIA's, mini strokes, I also know what they are, as I've been told I may have experienced them as well.....I don't think so but make your doctor do an MRI of the brain and find out, I get my result tomorrow morning....

It's important that you get up outta that bed daily....depression will keep you in it...don't let REAL DEPRESSION set in....the key to is find out exactly what you have and get each problem treated appropriately....though there are no cures for some things, there are medicines that help us along while we are going through the junk...don't let your junk rule you, you rule it....

I know how you feel when it comes to ending it, I've had days I've wanted God to take me on home...I don't really want to go yet, but some days, yes...I hate being a burden on my husband and my family and friends.....hate it....not used to it, we must be determined to win the battle, so head up and put your boxing gloves on girl...time to make a change, now....

Though I do believe some folks enjoy the attention that comes with having a medical problem..I think most of us would rather not have the medical problem that brings atttention....I know I'd rather not have MS, Fibromyalgia and Peripheal Neuropathy and the kind of attention that I get...doctors, pharmacies etc....that's about all the attention I get...I'd rather not have to see everyone re-schedule their life so they can take me to doctors a few times each week...

I realize there really is folks whose payoff is attention, but I bet it's because they never received any before they were ill....various reasons of course...I just can't imagine anyone really enjoying being ill all due to attention they receive...

If they are like alot of us who have long term and very disabling illnesses, they will grow to hate the desease and the attention it brings...I know I do...geez...

Probably it's elderly folks who would enjoy the attention most as it's the only way they can get their family members to come and visit them...?

I've actually seen some glorify their illnesses in many ways....I think it's counter productive myself but it's their life, so lol...

I believe it's great to have a place to talk about your illness, but I also believe it's good not to talk about it too much...it's like hello, my name is and I have such and such desease....the desease becomes who you are...it shouldn't be like that....it should not be what we mention most in our daily discussions either, giving it too much attention I think makes it worse....just my thoughts on this issue.....