Message Boards

Topic : Giving and Receiving Support

Number of Replies: 845
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:08:39 am
Author : dataimport
What is the best way to support those you love who are coping with depression or grieving a loss? Post your tips and share support with others.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

August 16, 2005, 10:52 am CDT

Millymae

Quote From: millymae

This is my first night on the message boards. I have lived with my parents and maternal grandparents for most of my life. I am now 28 years old. My Grandpa and I rarely got along, until a year ago when he really changed after having a stroke. After 8 months of getting to know my Gramps and making amends my Gramps ended up in the hospital after recieving 2 emergency brain surgeries in 2 days. He had fallen because of a blood clot in his brain.  Forty-two days later, we brought him home to pass away. He never really woke up. We have some great memories while in the hospital with him. I don't care what the dr's say, I know he knew we were there and he communicated with us.  

  

He passed away June 6, 2005. I was standing next to his bed. I seen him take his last breath. I miss that man so much. I am the 3rd oldest grandchild, so I had 28 years with that man. None of the problems we had before than really matter. I miss him so much that now, I am on medical leave from work for anxiety and stress. I already suffered from severe depression, but now it is so much worse. I still leave in the same house with my parents and Grams. I expect to see him or hear his walker going down the hall. I miss his teasing so much. I miss him. He was such a great man. I have heard this gets easier, but I wish it was sooner than later.  

  

I am so glad to have found this message board knowing that others know how I feel. Thank you all that have shared your stories. <wiping tears> I look forward to the day when it is easier, but knowing there are others who know what it is like makes it a little easier. Thank you! 

  

Millymae  

  

  

HI, thanks for sharing your story.  I think it is admirable that you took the time to get to know your Grandfather and it shows what a loving person you must be.  Good luck
 
August 17, 2005, 9:27 pm CDT

I don't know what to do.

I am 23 years old & happily married.  My husband & I live near both of parents & this has been such a blessing to both of us.  The problem that I have been having is that my Dad, who is only 50 years old, has been having so many health problems lately.  First his back was hurting, then his kidneys, then his neck,now his arm is hurting.  There are many days that my dad physically can not get out of bed. He has lost nearly 40 pounds in the last 4 months. The doctors have run all kinds of tests & after many guessed diagnosis there are still no real answers as to what is wrong with him.  I am so worried that there is something severely wrong with my dad and I just don't know what i would ever do if I were to lose him.  It is killing me to think that I could lose the man who, besides my husband, means so much to me.  It is killing me that there seems to be no immediate solution. 
 
August 17, 2005, 9:54 pm CDT

rendar2

Quote From: rendar2

I am 23 years old & happily married.  My husband & I live near both of parents & this has been such a blessing to both of us.  The problem that I have been having is that my Dad, who is only 50 years old, has been having so many health problems lately.  First his back was hurting, then his kidneys, then his neck,now his arm is hurting.  There are many days that my dad physically can not get out of bed. He has lost nearly 40 pounds in the last 4 months. The doctors have run all kinds of tests & after many guessed diagnosis there are still no real answers as to what is wrong with him.  I am so worried that there is something severely wrong with my dad and I just don't know what i would ever do if I were to lose him.  It is killing me to think that I could lose the man who, besides my husband, means so much to me.  It is killing me that there seems to be no immediate solution. 
That really is a scary situation, isn't it?  Pain can be a terrible thing and very debilatating.  Sometimes the source is very difficult to figure out, it can be a process of elimination and take many tests to actually find the right thing.  My hubby was in severe pain and went to the emergency room twice and they misdiagnosed both times, sent him home with pain pills and antibiotics.  Finally an MRI showed ruptured discs in his back and neck.  A pain management clinic helped him get thru it.  Rapid weight loss like that is scary too and should show them that something is very wrong.  I hope they find out soon so he can receive treatment and not be in pain like that.  Good luck.
 
August 18, 2005, 8:31 pm CDT

HI

I am happy right know sense I Finlay found a house to live in the only thing that is got me up set is that next month is my mom's birthday and that will be the first time with out her. but I am really happy about the house and can't weight to move in. 

  

Sara 

 
August 25, 2005, 9:49 pm CDT

up and down and still alive

Hi my name is Jenifer i just joind ....I have depresson,bi-polar ,anxity,agorafobic...and some more but i dont feel like wright it all down iam 15 from oklahoma ...At first i locked myself up in my room for TWO YEARS ....i was 13 now 15 and 8 months later i on the right path or so i hope iam not in school but hope to be in Late Feb cause i have to be 16 to start working for my G.E.D which i plan on getting !!!!! I have my good and bad day which i hate the bad but love the good 

 
August 26, 2005, 8:38 pm CDT

Well hi there and welcome!!

Quote From: jade_73030

Hi my name is Jenifer i just joind ....I have depresson,bi-polar ,anxity,agorafobic...and some more but i dont feel like wright it all down iam 15 from oklahoma ...At first i locked myself up in my room for TWO YEARS ....i was 13 now 15 and 8 months later i on the right path or so i hope iam not in school but hope to be in Late Feb cause i have to be 16 to start working for my G.E.D which i plan on getting !!!!! I have my good and bad day which i hate the bad but love the good 

hi there and welcome i am Buffy I too have depression and i have an eating disorder. It sounds like you are getting your life in order and i want to say that im happy for you and proud of you! If you ever want to talk im here for you. I love to talk and listen and i will do anything in my power to help you. ~Buffy~ ps: Dont worry take things one step at a time. Have a great day and i hope to talk to you soon.
 
August 28, 2005, 6:58 pm CDT

Giving and Receiving Support

Quote From: mylilbox17

hi there and welcome i am Buffy I too have depression and i have an eating disorder. It sounds like you are getting your life in order and i want to say that im happy for you and proud of you! If you ever want to talk im here for you. I love to talk and listen and i will do anything in my power to help you. Buffy ps: Dont worry take things one step at a time. Have a great day and i hope to talk to you soon.
Thanks Buffy i needed that
 
August 30, 2005, 7:36 pm CDT

Any advise will be appreciated

I have been dealing with a recent divorce and depression since April.  I was getting a good grip on the grieving process and having more good days than bad.  I was actually starting to feel like I could survive my divorce and the failure of it all. 

Two weeks ago, my soon-to-be ex walked into my home and held me hostage in my home for 4 hours.  He had never owned a gun before that day or showed any type of violent behavior towards me.  He threatened to kill me and himself.  My daughter was asleep and is still unaware that this happened. 

He is in custody and jailled right now.  The court system has the case and his fate is in their hands now.  I realize that he can't hurt me today or tomorrow, but I can't get over what the future holds for me.  I don't feel I will ever be safe from him again. 

I am to the point of being able to talk about this with close family.  I have had friends ask, but I don't feel like talking about it most of the time.  I am just numb.  I find I would rather be closed up in my house than any where.  I feel like if I had a wound, then I should have a reason to feel this way, but I don't show any signs that anything this drastic has happened to me.  I am a wreck. 

If there is anyone out there that has dealt with anything close to this,  please tell me how to get back to normal again.  I just want my life again and to find some type of joy in each day.  I want to be a good mother to my child.  I want to be more than this shell that I am now.   

Thank you for any help. 

  

 
September 1, 2005, 7:03 pm CDT

I screwed up

   Almost 20 yrs. ago now I was with a guy; he was not perfect but we were dating for about 5 yrs. I say he was not perfect because he drank a lot but wasn't mean or anything. A lot happened while we were together and I knew he wasn't going to change, but I needed a change in my life.   

   

   I signed up to go into the military and before I left I promised to keep in touch; he didn't want me to go because he was afraid I would marry someone else and he'd never see me again.  

I never did write to him, I think because I was enjoying being out in the world so much. I also met another guy and I eventually married him; we've been married for about 17 yrs. and have a teen aged son.  

   

   I lost track of that guy from almost twenty years ago until just this past weekend. I now know where he lives so I have an address and phone number. Now I find myself thinking about him a lot and wondering how he's doing...the thing is, I pretty much left him high and dry all those years ago and I don't know if he would even want to hear from me now. Also, I don't know if he's married now or what, and I know I don't want to interfere with whatever relationship he may have going right now.  

   

   Should I write to him or call to see how he's doing? I have no intention of going back to him as I have a family and a good job where I am, and I don't want to mess up his family if he has one, but I feel as though I need to know how he's doing and apologize for what I've done.  

   

   As for his drinking, yes, I think he's still at it. I saw in the newspaper on the internet where he was arrested for DUI three yrs. ago. After all this time he's not going to quit till he's good and ready.  

 
September 2, 2005, 4:00 pm CDT

Child Abduction

Hi, my name is Marcie, and I live in Arizona. Earlier this year in March, my 6 year old daughter, Catie, was kidnapped by her biological father and taken to Mexico. They were gone for a month, and it was the worst month of my entire life. Thankfully, my daughter was found and returned to me, and her father was arrested and put in jail. I have been dealing with the stress of his criminal case since he was arrested. Just a few weeks ago he was released from jail, and now I am living in fear for my life as well as my daughters. During his trial he accepted a plea agreement of probation with a no contact order with myself and his daughter. When sentencing day came the judge ordered that he do an additional 30 days in jail, he would be on 3 years of supervised probation, he would have to attend domestic violence and anger management counseling and also submit to mental health counseling. Since his release from jail he has said numerous times that he will not comply with probation and that he will do whatever it takes to see his daughter and when he does see her noone will know about it. He has made numerous threats to me about ending my life and taking my daugter again and making sure that they won't be found. He is very violent and controlling. He has also said in court and in investigative reports that he will kill me. I have stressed to the legal system the severity of this case and the fears and concerns I have, but I feel like i am running into a brick wall everytime. I have no idea what more I can do or say to to get someone to listen to me. About the only people that believe he will carry through with these threats are my family, my attorney and the detective that arrested him.  

If anyone can help me out the support and advice it would be greatly appreciated.   

 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Next | Last