Buffy.
I can relate a little to you. It has been almost 27 years now. But I only knew my father in law for 3 years before he died. He died very suddenly of a heart attack and was gone. There was no chance to say good bye and in my case, I really didn't get a chance to know him very well. What I did know of him, i missto this day.
He was always kind to me, he was always thinking of others and doing what he could to help. He would give you the shirt off his back, even if he didn't have it to give. Our daughter was only 6 months old when he died. So he knew he was a grandpa, but he never got to know our children. Again, when ever we would leave our daughter with the inlaws, he would meet me at the door and take my daughter from me and say, my baby, and run off with her. When we would return, both she and him would be in the easy chair sound asleep. It was all very sweet.
My mother in law on the other hand, is nasty, manipulating, self centered and an alcholic. She is still here with us. Because she was so busy trying to make our lives a living hell, she missed the kids growing up, we moved away from her, my husband will not speak to her and we basically have no contact with her. Because of my fil dying so many years ago, she came into some money. She tries to send checks to my kids, trying to buy their affection. My kids know who she is, but they don't really know her. So they don't really have any contact with her either.
The one thing that did come out of all of this, is my husband is alot like his dad. His temperment is very much the same. So in a small way, my father in law is still near. I only wish his physical presents was still here with us. He is gone, but not forgotten.
Hi Buffy~ 
