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Topic : 09/06 The Ex Factor

Number of Replies: 127
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, August 31, 2007, 10:21:47 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
What do you do when your ex is still in the picture and wreaking havoc? Louise says she broke up with Mike two months ago because he choked her, threw chairs at her, and even threatened to throw their infant son over a fence. Mike says anger just runs in the family, and he wants Louise to take him back but another ex of Mike’s has a warning for Louise. Shannon says she wants to expose Mike for the cruel man he really is. Mike says Shannon is a liar and an unfit mother. When Dr. Phil digs deeper into the story, you won’t believe the claims Shannon makes. Plus, what did Mike confess to Louise that has Dr. Phil concerned for the children? As allegations of abuse, threats and theft fly, Dr. Phil tries to make sense of these strained relationships. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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September 2, 2007, 9:52 am CDT

Can DrP really make sense of these relationships?

I'm not sure you can make sense of something that makes no sense in the first place. Having said that, this sounds like my kind of show!
 
September 2, 2007, 10:17 am CDT

The Ex factor?? bad news

There are way to many times we (women related to this post) are taken in by men who use us, sociopath's personality and learn to act by watching other people! that was my husband, I should have seen the signs, but I realize the old saying of; " we shouldn't should on ourselves!" I was beaten after about 12 years of knowing this man, well I thought I knew him, he literally broke my back and nearly murdered me in my own kitchen, we had been married for  about 10 years!!! I realize now that he played at being a concerned person, in our marriage, the quiet personality, could not make conversation with anyone! He was power hungry and worked in a law enforcement department of JJ system! That was what was important to him, that and buying a badge that looked like a State Trooper's yet the words on it stated; "youth specialist!" but he flashed that all the time, power and control, he held his rage, blamed other incidents of his rage that I  would see onto his father, telling me his anger was at his father telling me I was incapable of understanding a sociopath?? he was correct, I didn't understand and never will!  I asked many times for him to talk to someone, or come for a  walk anything to relieve some of the stress, well I thought was stress, he did nothing but show up to work the night shift, no lawn care, no house repair, lucky if he put in a screw; obsessive disorder, would not throw away anything, papers all over, kicked the dog for chewing up magazines once, when the dog was still a pup form the pound, I protected the dog, I was able to then! I am a kind caring person, who was taken advantage of, I was Blessed by God to be alive and walking, he nearly broke my neck, he did cause C4 to press toward my spinal cord, he also tried to strangle me, and fractured my spine, a piece or pieces of bone lodged into a nerve root, I was using a walker due to recently having a disc removed; so basically he beat up and nearly killed an invalid at the time! 2 days before Thanksgiving of 2005; I had married this person, a second marriage, the first was verbal abuse, then found out later he molested my daughters; I was never going to marry again, well 9 years between marriages I did it again, I am once againhappy being alone with my family and pets; but I suffer with permanent nerve pain from the assault! When I offered my oral statement in Court, he took a "plea agreement" there were about 15 so called men, before my husband, all for domestic violence! I guess I should say COWARDS instead of men, as cowards beat on the weaker beings, real men love their wives! Leave an abusive relationship as fast as you can, VIOLENCE is a horror no one should ever put up with!
 
September 2, 2007, 6:41 pm CDT

EX STILL IN THE PICTURE

I divorcee my ex in 1995 after 11 years of mental and physical abuse. I had no where to go and never heard of safeway houses for women. Four years later I married a man who was a God send. we had an unlisted phone number but my ex had friends who worked at the phone company. He called late one night, drunk, and told my husband that if it took him untill the day he died he would get even with him. He ruined my credit and when I finally got it built back up, imagine my surprise when i got on line to get a credit report, in numbers, only to find a list of my past address were where his brother lived! I received a phone call from a credit card company he had a card with and was told that he said if he was behind on his payments to call me. It took a lot of time to convince them we were divorced over 10 years and they woukd not tell me how they got my phone number. what's a person to do?
Brinda Davis
jesusislove@charter.net
 
September 3, 2007, 12:18 pm CDT

The Ex factor

I just remarried after being divorced for 4 years. My ex has made my life a living hell! I was mistaken to think that it would end with the divorce. My new husband is going through the same thing with his ex wife. I've noticed that both of our ex's are controlling and manipulative people. . I will definately watch this show. Maybe it will give me some pointers on how to deal with the ex.
 
September 4, 2007, 7:04 am CDT

exes

  1. ohhh the exes!!!! I could talk about my 2 exes alllllll day but I don't want to waste my energy on them because I have learned that the past will hold you down and keep you from moving forward w/ your future...I will say this...I learned that you can develop a cycle with the kind of men that you attract...Both of my ex husbands abused me mentally ,verbally ,and physically..The bruises heal alot quicker than emotional scarring that you get with the verbal abuse...You have got to learn that you have self worth and NOBODY should make you feel like YOU are not important or worthy....
 
September 4, 2007, 7:11 am CDT

remarrying

Quote From: leeterri

I just remarried after being divorced for 4 years. My ex has made my life a living hell! I was mistaken to think that it would end with the divorce. My new husband is going through the same thing with his ex wife. I've noticed that both of our ex's are controlling and manipulative people. . I will definately watch this show. Maybe it will give me some pointers on how to deal with the ex.
My Mom went through the same thing when she married my Step-Dad ...The X was a psyco but once she found her own happiness then she let go....My Mom & Step Dad have been married 19yrs...things couldn't be any better :) they All get along great and his X is married again as well.The Ex "grew up"!
 
September 4, 2007, 3:04 pm CDT

My boyfriends Ex is Driving Me Crazy

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year, and are an amazing couple.  From day one, his ex girlfriend, who he has a 2 year old daughter with, has made it her mission to get rid of me.  She lies, spends her days and nights searching for bad information on me, is vindictive and conniving and will stop at nothing to drive a wedge between us!  She has held her child above my boyfriends head for a year now, claiming he would see her all he wants if I were out of the picture.  It has gotten to the point that she has gotten a lawyer and is making allegations of extensive drug and alcohol use by us when caring for the child.  She claims the child comes home crying after overnight visits with us and is traumatized.  She is constantly contradicting herself...first saying the child is too young for overnights away from her, then allowing my boyfriends parents to take her for a few nights in a row.  All she cares about is keeping me away from her child.  She is jealous, and had told both of us, that she is worried her daughter will love me, and become attached to me.  She doesn't want us to have children of our own, because she states my boyfriend will "forget" about her daughter.  She feels I should have no say in my boyfriends visitation schedule with their daughter, but I disagree, as I live with my boyfriend, and take part in taking care of her, and it affects my life as well.  If my boyfriend and I have an arguement, she is in there like a dirty shirt, trying to convince him he doesn't need me.  When I called her to tell her to stay out of our personal relationship, she called the police and tried to have me charged with uttering threats.  I have apologized to her a couple of times, and my boyfriend has asked her if we could all get together and talk things out for the childs best interests, and she will not.  She then tells everyone I am trying to come between my boyfriend and his daughter because I will not allow her to phone my boyfriend for personal conversations.  I feel she should only be contacting him for reasons directly related to their daughter, as she has an alterior motive to hurt me, insult me, interfere and disrespect me.  I love the little girl as though she was my own, but have no intention of stealing her from her mother.  I cannot win with this woman.  She is so bitter and obsessed with our relationship, yet she claims she does not want to be with my boyfriend at all, so I do not know what she wants from us!  I have considered stepping out of the picture many times, but love this man and he loves me.  The only conflicts we have it seems, stems from her and this messed up situation.  I don't know what I should do?
 
September 4, 2007, 3:22 pm CDT

exp-victum

I have been married to a abusive man that mentally and physically abuse me and it took 8 times of leaving to finally get away but I kept trying when you have no where to go things can go wrong> I would end up in another bad situation. It was a long nightmare I was beat and but down I can't believe I went thru all that and am still sane. My children went thru abuse too  and when I found out my daughter was being abuse it was the last time we left over 23 years ago. My daughter is on drugs now and in a bad way but won't listen to know one and is home less and abusing her own children. Her oldest is homeless at 14 and running the streets of las vegas. I wish she could get help, but she scares me and I can't be around her cause she's on meth and you can't talk to her or make sense to her. This is what can happen when youve been abused. You trust no one and look for answers thru drugs. I'm 52 now and I am at a better place in my life but I'm scared for my grand sons. If anyone is in a abusive relationship run as fast as you can get to a church or someone who will help there are places now that you can go there wasn't for me at the time I was going thru this.  Pray to the good Lord I did and he helped me I keep praying for my daughter and sons  God bless us all
 
September 4, 2007, 3:22 pm CDT

exp-victum

I have been married to a abusive man that mentally and physically abuse me and it took 8 times of leaving to finally get away but I kept trying when you have no where to go things can go wrong> I would end up in another bad situation. It was a long nightmare I was beat and but down I can't believe I went thru all that and am still sane. My children went thru abuse too  and when I found out my daughter was being abuse it was the last time we left over 23 years ago. My daughter is on drugs now and in a bad way but won't listen to know one and is home less and abusing her own children. Her oldest is homeless at 14 and running the streets of las vegas. I wish she could get help, but she scares me and I can't be around her cause she's on meth and you can't talk to her or make sense to her. This is what can happen when youve been abused. You trust no one and look for answers thru drugs. I'm 52 now and I am at a better place in my life but I'm scared for my grand sons. If anyone is in a abusive relationship run as fast as you can get to a church or someone who will help there are places now that you can go there wasn't for me at the time I was going thru this.  Pray to the good Lord I did and he helped me I keep praying for my daughter and sons  God bless us all
 
September 4, 2007, 4:52 pm CDT

Male and female ex's

I was in an abusive relationship in my late teens early twenties. We were together 4 yrs. We were engaged to be married. However he could never stay settled with a date. Always wanted x amount of money in the bank. Then he decided to act like daddy. Get drunk and take it out on the little woman. I was told who I could and couldn't talk to. He was jealous of my relationship with my family, because we acted like a family. If we were in the bar and I was talking to a mutual male friend I got accused of wanting to go home with them. He would wait til we were on the way home to hit me. After awhile I stopped taking it and started giving it back 10xs worse then he ever did to me. One night he followed me home after a girlfriend and I were going home after stopping to have a soda at the bar. He cut me off in my neighborhood, came over and pounded on my window and when I opened the door a little to ask what he wanted he reached in and slapped me across the face. He never saw me move so fast. I was out of my car and to his before he was completely in his. I went to hit him and he grabbed my wrists and when I pulled away I through the engagement ring into his car. Of course ladies we all know what came next. The guilt, the remorse, the undying love for us and the promise never to do it again. The next day he acted like nothing happened and wanted me to go to the Poconos to get race tickets. I refused. He came over and I told him I didn't love him anymore. He asked why the sudden change? I told him it wasn't sudden it had been building up for sometime and now it was all about me and not him anymore. For 2 weeks I got the "I still love you" calls. One day he tried using his little brother to get me back. I grabbed his arm and pulled his face close enough to hear and I told him, "Don't you ever use your brother again as a way to get me back"!

 

Now currently I have a lovely woman in my life and her ex is getting in the middle of everything. My g/f gave me a promise ring and was going to move here to Iowa and now it's on hold til who knows when. The only other lesbian relationship I had was abusive also. We dated off and on for 3 yrs. Her ex came between after we were together 6 mos. Then 2 yrs later I get a call and she wants me back. So like a fool I went. We were committed to one another for over a year. Then the jealousy and lies came into play. I was accused of sleeping with the whole shipping department at the factory I worked at. We had a knock'em drag'em down dirty fight. She took the first move and ripped my necklace off and I started a barrage of punches to her head til I could get away. I told her if her ex still wanted her to go back to her. I left the next day. 2 yrs later I sold the house from under her. NOw I'm cautious who I let into my life. I have BIG trust issues. Thanks for letting me vent. I'll be sure to watch the show or tape it.

 
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