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Topic : 09/11 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp Newlyweds

Number of Replies: 266
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, September 07, 2007, 03:31:51 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Most newlyweds cherish their honeymoon period and look forward to planning their future together. But these recently married couples say they’re already talking divorce! The wives say they’re sick and tired of being controlled and belittled by their demanding, overbearing and chauvinistic husbands, so they’re dragging them to Dr. Phil’s Man Camp for a complete overhaul. It’s not a one-way street through – the husbands have serious complaints about their better halves. Jim and Kim have been married only six weeks. Though Jim’s job takes him away from home, the distance doesn’t stop their fighting. Kim says his habit of leaving nasty voicemail messages is just another way for him to abuse and control her.  Jim says his wife loves his paycheck, not him. Then, Jack and Danielle are also only six weeks into their “wedded bliss” but are already sleeping separately. Danielle says Jack is so controlling, he even tells her how to shower. Jack admits he can’t get over his wife’s past, and he brings it up every time they fight. And, John and Karla have been married for nine months, but cameras capture a volatile environment that has Dr. Phil extremely concerned. Does Karla have good reason to sleep with a knife under her pillow? Join the discussion and tell us what you think!

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September 11, 2007, 8:48 am CDT

You hit the nail on the head!

Quote From: vanissa54

Gratefully I celebrated 36 amazing years of marriage to my one and only husband just a few months ago.  We were on 17 and 18 years old when we married, so we had A LOT of growing up to do.  Things were not always good but we did truely love one another and we were always willing to forgive or ask for forgiveness when needed.  Neither of us wanted to be RIGHT rather than HAPPY, so things have worked out wonderful for us.  We did go through pre-marital counseling with our Pastor.  I would advise people that are planning to get married today to choose their counselor with great care and make sure that he or she is well qualified.  I'm thankful that our parents didn't try to stop us from getting married back in 1971, just because of our young age.  Our families had known each other all of our lives and we saw each other at least once a week during our growing up years.  Still, it is hard being married when you are really still just a kid; fortunately we were married for almost five years before  our fist child was born. 

 

My Pastor refuses to perform any marriage unless the couple has gone through at least six weeks of pre-marital counseling.

 

Once in our first year of marriage my husband got mad at me about something and he shoved me down onto our bed; I jumped up and told him that he would not treat me that way, that he would never push me or hit me, that I would not allow it under any circumstance!  I told him that if he was angry and did something like that again, that I might have to wait until he was asleep but that I would beat him with an iron skillet or a baseball bat!  I guess he must have believed me because in 35 years plus, he has never hurt me again.  My husband grew up with a father that got violent with his wife and the children for many years before he stopped drinking and became a born again Christian.

 

NEVER, would I allow anyone to mistreat me.  I do not understand men or women that allow a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife to abuse them!  Get out of the relationship ASAP if you see that he or she intends to keep up physical, verbal or mental abuse in any fashion.  And parents,

please don't allow your spouce to abuse your children in any way either; what a coward you are if you allow this to happen to a child. 

 

These couples that Dr. Phil and his staff have chosen to attend Man Camp are very fortunate to get this opportunity; I pray that they will listen and learn and use the tools that Dr. Phil and his staff will try to teach them.  If I were the wife on any of these men, this would be their one and only chance to change themselves and turn their life around for me to want to stay with them in marriage.  If not, so long buster, don't need you, don't want to have ANYTHING to do with you! 

 

I would be a lonely spinster for my entire life before I would let a man or anyone else mistreat me!

 

I am blessed to have the most wonderful, kind, loving, Godly man to be my life mate.

Some churches (the Catholic Church, for one) will not marry any couple without couseling (Pre-Cana, etc). It's great to spend a full weekend or more together going over the BIG issues with a spouse-to-be.

 

Since divorce is so sadly high in this country, EVERY CHURCH IN THE U.S> should marry nobody in God's house UNLESS the couple has gone thru these such programs. It should be the DUTY of the church NOT to marry people who very likely are not prepared with all the ups and downs of any marriage. The divorce makes a mockery of God's teachings and pastors/priests should help prevent future divorces.

 
September 11, 2007, 8:50 am CDT

09/11 The Dr. Phil House: Man Camp Newlyweds

Quote From: ceildh1

Sleeping with a knife under the pillow ? YIKES, shouldn't marriage be based on trust ?

You know I belive that with Divorce rates the way they are, I think that legally, NO COUPLE should be allowed to marry WITHOUT PROOF of pre martial counselling, not a guarentee (what in life is ) but it might just open communication and encourage some maybe to slow down and rethink the whole thing (better single and happy than married and miserable), and the mundane parts of marriage (bills, chores, careers etc. ) not romantic pillow talk, but they should be DISCUSSED BEFORE the wedding, unfortunatly, these are often overlooked, marriage is NOT all candlelight and roses.

Just my opinion.

I would have to agree. I was married after three months of knowing my husband at the ripe old age of 20.  I was only married 5 years before it failed.  I know crazy but I stuck it out and the only thing that came out right was my son.

 

I think marriage licenses should have a valid date of at least a year after you apply for them.  I think this would help to keep people from rushing into what they think is love.  Tack that onto premartial counseling and maybe the divorce rates would drop.  Who knows but it can't hurt.

 
September 11, 2007, 8:53 am CDT

Don't Even Know Where to Begin

I guess my first major question is Why are they even married to begin with? What posessed these couples to get together to have a family? It doesn't even look like there was a spark at all. Wow. I'm just speechless. I hope that Dr. Phil can help these folks cause they need it badly!
 
September 11, 2007, 10:38 am CDT

Abuse?

I watched and lstened to the whole show, thought abotu it over time and still came up the same.

The children are suffering abuse in all these homes.  The adults choose to be in the relationships, choose to stay for wahtever reasons BUT the children are given no choices.

Get the children out of them homes before they get hurt.

The man who shook a child: jail!

The Motehr who feared for her won safety but not kept her daughter safe?

You need a knife? No, you need to get help and your children should absolutely be taken out of that home

away from the serious lack of protection.  Idiots: does anyone actually knwo for sure this child does nto have damage from that shaking?

 

Excuses from every one of them with no accountablity for the stupidity for what they really do already know is wrong, themselves!

 
September 11, 2007, 12:19 pm CDT

She's an Alcoholic ....

Quote From: nightangel1282

One of the women is so afraid that she sleeps with a knife under her pillow??? .... Yeah, that'd be a good hint to get out of the relationship. I just don't understand the need some men have to control their wives. What is with the need to instill fear on the woman that you decided to spend the rest of your life with? I just don't understand, and I don't think I ever will. Wanting respect, I can understand. People who are married should have love and respect for one another, but why would someone want their life partner to FEAR them? I hope that these couples get their issues straightened out and that they can save their marriages.

 

I wonder if the men showed this behavior before the women said 'I do?' I know that if I was with a man who was trying to control me in any way before getting married, I'd throw the engagement ring at him and remove myself from him forever.

 

JMHO.

 

Nightangel1282

An alcoholic will do almost anything, will allow almost anything, will put up with almost anything just so long as they can stay drinking. She married him because he enabled her drinking and though he doesn't want to admit it he married her because so long a her drinking didn't interfere too much in his life then he can control her through enabling it and then using it to bash her when he needs to.

 

 I don't know if these are his girls - I don't think so - but she ran to John cause living with him allowed her to continue drinking. She blames him for her fears of the girls - but that's the thing with every non-recovering alcoholic - it is always someone else's fault - never theirs.

 
September 11, 2007, 12:23 pm CDT

WHy'd they even Date??

Quote From: robingurl65

I guess my first major question is Why are they even married to begin with? What posessed these couples to get together to have a family? It doesn't even look like there was a spark at all. Wow. I'm just speechless. I hope that Dr. Phil can help these folks cause they need it badly!

How on earth did these people get through a month of dating nevermind years and then getting married?? 

 

From the looks of it it seems like all 6 of these have serious personal issues. Sad.

 
September 11, 2007, 12:52 pm CDT

Skyrocketing Divorse!

 
September 11, 2007, 1:01 pm CDT

Makes me glad I am not married!

I haven't even seen the show yet...just now coming on...I saw the video on here and the previews and that was enough.  I probably won't get to watch much of it as I don't want my son seeing this show when he gets home from school.  Just makes me glad I am not married!  I went through this once and believe me that was enough...:(  It does alot of damage to the children for sure...you straighten them out Dr. Phil.
 
September 11, 2007, 1:09 pm CDT

Would Like to Say

That I am a recovering addict of 8 years and I wanted to tell the wife that had the issues with xanex and Alchol that I support her, she is in a mplace right now where she needs to dull the pain that her husband inflicts on her. The most painful thing to a person is words, not blows. I jsut wanted to let you know hang in there, you are a worthy person and dont sell yourself short by giving up. I know I didnt like what I saw from your husband but at the same time I know that its not good for oyu to be drunk around your child too. I know you dont want to listen but I am others will always be here for you

Please hang in there!

D.

 
September 11, 2007, 1:11 pm CDT

Skyrocketing Divorce!

Skyrocketing divorce in the U.S.?  Why wouldn't we have an over 50% rate with the way these newlyweds are conducting themselves?  We've sunk to new lows when it comes to carrying on simple, ordinary, daily conversations, let alone acting this badly with the ones we're supposed to love.  My husband and I have been married for 34 years and not once have we ever cussed at or belittled each other in any way, let alone thought of raising a hand to each other.

     During our first year of marriage, people would often ask if we had had our first fight yet.  The answer was a resounding "NO" and to this day, we never fight.  We don't always agree with each other but we talk it out or, on occasion, stay silent for a little while.  Then, we have either reached a compromise or decided whatever it was that we didn't agree on in the first place, probably isn't all that important.  At least, not important enough to stay annoyed or upset about.

     I'm concerned that the role models (or, lack of) has had a major/negative influence on our young peope and that the message they receive every day is that it's okay to put themselves first at the expense of others. Between a me-first attitude and the demands they make for instant gratification, I don't see things getting turned around in the forseeable future - if at all!  That's a sad thought.

 

 
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