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Topic : 09/21 Does Age Matter?

Number of Replies: 733
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Created on : Friday, September 14, 2007, 03:48:41 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Can May-December romances really last? Christopher Knight, famous for his role as Peter on The Brady Bunch, and Adrianne Curry, winner on America's Next Top Model, began their relationship when they starred together on the reality show The Surreal Life 4, and the public watched as they planned their wedding on their own show, My Fair Brady. Now they both say their 24-year age difference is a huge problem in their chaotic marriage. Adrianne says Christopher treats her like an employee, and Christopher says if she worked for him, she would’ve been fired a long time ago. Can these two work out their generational differences? Then, 38-year-old Shelly wants to know if it’s wrong to be in a relationship with an 18-year-old friend of her son. She says he makes her feel beautiful but wonders if she’s causing him or her children harm. Dr. Phil doesn’t mince words when he tells her his opinion. Join the discussion.

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September 22, 2007, 11:57 pm CDT

My story

I fell in love with Kris, when I was 39 and he was 23. We went through hard times while he was dealing with drug problems. I am happy to say, I did get him help and he became a much better person. Eventually, I also helped  him reunite with his family.They had been estranged for a number of years.

I dated Kris for 5 years, then we married for religious reasons. His family insisted. A year later he asked me for a divorce. He wanted children, and that was not possible.

I hope the best for him. It is hard to stop thinking about him. I am now happily married again, but for Kris, I hope he has the family he always wanted.

 
September 23, 2007, 1:15 am CDT

Pedophile

It is not about Shelly being a woman. I would be just as angry if it was a man. This is what is wrong with American--people do whatever feels good. My grandfather always says "just because it feels good doesnt make it right!" Her 7 and 12 year old children are what throughs it over the edge for me. Be a mom!
 
September 23, 2007, 1:18 am CDT

Shelly is wrong.

Quote From: tonibarb1

 

It sickens me to think about how many adults are sleeping with young children to fill voids in their lives. This woman dating this kid is sick and not healthy. She really needs counceling and to realize that while she is slepping with this kid and living this fake fary tail life, she is ruining his life when he still has so much life to live. She has already lived her life and is emposing on his. I feel so embarrassed for her kids and hope that one day they do not turn against her for this. It is a bad signal to send to her children especially her 12 year old daughter. This relationship should end now!

I totally agree!
 
September 23, 2007, 3:09 am CDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

Quote From: digarrison

I believe Dr. Phil hit the nail on the head, so to speak, in his answers to the older lady dating the 18 year old child/boy.  There is NOTHING right about that relationship no matter how pretty a picture you paint of it.  I believe this woman has taken advantage of this boy in the worst kind of way and harmed her children in the process.  What was she THINKING???  There was obviously a tremendous amount of shame and embarrassment  from both parties when they discussed their "relationship" on camera, so that says something to me from the start.

 

The Knights, on the other hand, I think they have hope.  They obviously love one another, as evidenced by their frequent smiles to each other, holding hands during the discussion, and honesty about the problems within their relationship.  Those types of relationships DO work out sometimes, and I do think they have a lot of hope.

 

Despite what people argue about a double standard, I think it is absolutely TRUE that relationships with older men/younger women have MORE chance of survival than the older woman/younger man type.  I am a woman, yet I can totally see the common sense factor here, and again, think Dr. Phil was RIGHT ON THE MONEY in his advice to both couples.

 

 

OK,

I think it's sick that women are naturally attracted to older men, and it demeaning and an insult to equality that they be encouraged to preen and parade themselves in front of what is socially deemed a superior, I think they continue to perpetuate the stereotype of a demure, willowy, obedient little wife licking the boots of the older, more socially and financially secure dominant man.

Sound ridiculous? Well I don't really think this, but when you say it's ok to be with an older man but not a younger one, just think how ridiculous your opinion seems to those of us with younger men. It looks about as hyperbolic as the paragraph I typed above.

And yes, I think if you believe this, then you DO believe in inequality. Stop putting yourself down.
 
September 23, 2007, 6:11 am CDT

31 and 22 - Not wierd at all

Quote From: jessakapt

Is 10 years too much of an age difference.  What about 15 or 20?  When is it too much of an age difference?  I am 31 and my boyfriend is 22 but we have only been dating for about a year.  Some people seem to think it is fine, but I notice that some of my friends think it is weird.  Is it weird and I'm just not seeing it?  I would appreciate anyone's response.  Thanks!

I do not think 31 and 22 is wierd at all.  To me, anything under 20 years old would be wierd.  But 22 is old enough to me to be considered an adult.  And, 31 is still young.  See my posting.  I was 24 when I started dating my 42 year old husband.  We have been happily married for 14 years.  He is the love of my life.  I would trade him for anything.  I am glad to see the older woman dating the younger man.  It would be "unjust" if it were only the older man and younger women.  That would mean there would not be enough partners for the older women! 

 

Regards,

 
September 23, 2007, 6:22 am CDT

Misunderstood

     I myself am involved with a man who is 13 years older.  The message from Dr. Phil was right on!  Why are some people concerned about the reaction of Dr. Phil.? The age difference had nothing to do with gender.  What it had to do with is age.  It wouldn't matter to me what the genders were if one of them were in their teens and the other in their late 20s or older, it is WRONG!  As far as the first couple and the huge disagreement regarding the cat litter.  Who cares!!!  Get an automated litter box, they are under $100.00, cleaning?  Hire a housemaid, treat your wife!  Dr. Phil's'observation regarding the demeaning remarks when fighting is right on!  If I would have demanded respect during my marriage, we might still be married, our children would have two parents living in the same household.  Instead the name calling led to bitterness, lack of intimacy and finally divorce.  Lastly, my parents are only seven years apart.  My mom, is younger then my dad, she now states that the age difference did not matter during their younger years, as they have aged it has gotten more difficult.
 
September 23, 2007, 6:28 am CDT

Response

Quote From: citygirlzz

Couldn't have said it better myself!!
     Glad to hear that you are both happy!  The difference is that you are ten years apart, not twenty!!
 
September 23, 2007, 6:38 am CDT

I agree with your statement

Quote From: pamula48

Dr. Phil  how can you say it's ok for The TV star and his wife who is 25 years younger than him but, not ok for this lady.  Would it be ok if he were 20 or 22 does age really  matter?  Is this just a case of it's ok for an old man to pick up younger women but oh my gosh what were you thinking when it's a woman and a younger man. Granted I don't agree because he was in high school but, come on let's be real.  Telling her you totally think it absurd was a bit much and way to strong.  Why didn't you say young man go to college get an education come back in 4 years and see if you feel the same if so then work something out if both of you haven't gotten over each other with a 4 year seperation.  Tell her to get over her seperation first let him grow and if after 4 years or even 2 at college if the feelings are still the same maybe then see what happens. 

I agree with your statement that it is not the age gap.  It is the fact he is in high school.  If he were over 20, I would support the relationship.  I agree with your statement to send him to college first for four years and if they still feel the same way, go for it! 

 

See my posting 17 Year Age Gap & Happy.  I met my husband when I was 24 and he was 42.  It worked out for us.  If I were 18 though, not sure I would have the same success story.

 
September 23, 2007, 6:52 am CDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

      Hello Everyone

          I think this issue with age differences is very controversial. It can be a problem if suppose its a situation with an adult with a teenager. Suppose a 40 man  with a 16 year old girl, or a 35 year old woman with a 17 year old boy. I think thats illegal and can create big problems........

     If you have two people who are fully grown adults, and they can decide for themselves. They want to date or be in love 15 or 20 years difference. Thats there choice and decision and they should be allowed to do that, as long as their both happy with it. Of course, everyone else will have an opinion about it. Me personally, I wouldn't prefer it. I think people dating or in love should stay around there own age category..........

   I also think that even where the problem is small and minor. Such as a 5 or 3 year difference people still think its a problem. If your a 30 year old in love with a 25 year old. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. There's people out there who will shoot off their mouth about it and see the two people as scum........

 

See Y'all

Brian/from Maryland

 
September 23, 2007, 7:06 am CDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

Quote From: katchaleensway

Hello all,

 

Boy I must say if some older woman came to my door to pick up one of my son's for a date,  that would be his last trip outside for a very long time.

 

Think about the families and all of the people effected by such a huge age gap and then concider your own children in this type of romance, I think most would agree this is not what you would want for your children.

 

 

Katchaleensway

If your son was 18 and it would be his "last trip outside for a long time" you could be prosecuted for holding a legal adult against his will.
 
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