Message Boards

Topic : 09/21 Does Age Matter?

Number of Replies: 733
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, September 14, 2007, 03:48:41 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Can May-December romances really last? Christopher Knight, famous for his role as Peter on The Brady Bunch, and Adrianne Curry, winner on America's Next Top Model, began their relationship when they starred together on the reality show The Surreal Life 4, and the public watched as they planned their wedding on their own show, My Fair Brady. Now they both say their 24-year age difference is a huge problem in their chaotic marriage. Adrianne says Christopher treats her like an employee, and Christopher says if she worked for him, she would’ve been fired a long time ago. Can these two work out their generational differences? Then, 38-year-old Shelly wants to know if it’s wrong to be in a relationship with an 18-year-old friend of her son. She says he makes her feel beautiful but wonders if she’s causing him or her children harm. Dr. Phil doesn’t mince words when he tells her his opinion. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

More September 2007 Show Boards.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

September 23, 2007, 2:14 pm CDT

I'm There Now

Quote From: katchaleensway

Hello all,

 

Boy I must say if some older woman came to my door to pick up one of my son's for a date,  that would be his last trip outside for a very long time.

 

Think about the families and all of the people effected by such a huge age gap and then concider your own children in this type of romance, I think most would agree this is not what you would want for your children.

 

 

Katchaleensway

 My son is with a woman 20 years older than him, he's been with her almost a year now since he was 18.  She came here to Ohio to get him and took him to California with her. What do you do? I was so upset but there was nothing I could do because he was 18. Now that she has him there she has that control now and he don't want to have anything to do with the family.  I told him that it's his life to live not mine,  all that I want is to have a relationship with him as his mother should have. I wrote about this somewhat earlier on here called:  "MY SON ALSO 18 AND 38". Anyways I think It's all wrong, and I agree with Dr. Phil. But at this point all I want from them is a relationship with my son...
Thanks, Nancy
 
September 23, 2007, 2:23 pm CDT

Double Standard!

Don't get me wrong.  This boy was too young to be dating a 38-year-old woman.

But Dr. Phil's reaction was all out of proportion to the situation. He harangued Shelley, browbeat and humiliated her, calling her behavior "demented", among other things. I don't recall him saying any such thing to the 18 year-old female who was dating the 42 year-old man she met over the internet whom she called "Daddy". He treated that one as the chaser, even making her cry by having the boyfriend's buddy come on to criticize her for being after his money. There have been other older men with younger women on the show, that didn't get such a massive dressing down from Dr. Phil. I certainly heard no discussion of robbing the cradle about the minor celebrity couple.

And I have a sneaking suspicion if Shelley had been a size 2, well-toned and botoxed age 38 who looked like, say, Jennifer Anniston, Dr. Phil would have been right proud of the dear boy. (wink, wink, smirk)
 
September 23, 2007, 2:39 pm CDT

Age Matters for BOTH sexes!

In watching this show about whether or not age matters, I am flabbergasted at the fact that Dr. Phil came down on this woman and her 18 year old boyfriend and said it was wrong, when he sat there and didn't say anything to "Bobby Brady" for dating and being married to a very young girl himself.  Why is it always okay for an older guy to date a younger girl, yet a woman cannot do the same? I think it's wrong either way, but to single out one from the other is descriminatory. I am sitting here listening to Dr. Phil say it's sick, exploitive and demented, yet none of this was said to Christopher Knight.  I think it's sick for a young girl to date a nearly 50 year old man, just as much as it is for a nearly 40 year old woman to date an 18 year old boy. 

Ashton from CA
 
September 23, 2007, 3:05 pm CDT

tsk tsk dr. phil

I'm not condoning the mother dating her son's friend and classmate; however I must chastise Dr. Phil for calling her out and not men who do the same thing.  I never hear any remarks THAT negative regarding thirty or forty-something men who date 18-22 year olds.  So what gives? Are they any more emotionally developed than 18-22 year old MALES?

 

Dish your "wisdom" but just make sure it's not a double-standard please!

 

good grief

 
September 23, 2007, 3:25 pm CDT

Age does matter as you get older

My dad's wife is 18 years younger. They have been married 30 years. Now that my Dad has dementia and is not doing well and she is only 69 and healthy she is regretting being married to someone so much older. She isn't saying that but I can tell. She has said when they were younger she couldn't tell there was a difference but just like Dr. Phil said on the show you age at a sharper rate once we hit middle age.

I believe anything higher than 10 years difference in age should be looked at carefully.

 
September 23, 2007, 3:26 pm CDT

Age difference does matter

Quote From: mommy1231

It frustrates me so much when Dr. Phil said that this is so wrong, i am 27 years old and I just dont understand why age matters so much more than maturity. Think about it, i know myself personally i have been involved with guys older than me that act like they are 12, and then i have been involved with younger guys and they are so much more mature. If it makes you happy why not? I just think this is so frustrating because if you are over 18 and you love someone regardless of age you should be allowed to do that isnt that what the constitution states, that you have freedoms. Also, like i said you can be with somebody who is extremely mature, why should it matter what their age is, AGE IS NOTHING BUT A NUMBER!!!
It is more than a number when one is a senior adult and the other is not.
 
September 23, 2007, 3:27 pm CDT

Age is more than a #

Quote From: mommy1231

It frustrates me so much when Dr. Phil said that this is so wrong, i am 27 years old and I just dont understand why age matters so much more than maturity. Think about it, i know myself personally i have been involved with guys older than me that act like they are 12, and then i have been involved with younger guys and they are so much more mature. If it makes you happy why not? I just think this is so frustrating because if you are over 18 and you love someone regardless of age you should be allowed to do that isnt that what the constitution states, that you have freedoms. Also, like i said you can be with somebody who is extremely mature, why should it matter what their age is, AGE IS NOTHING BUT A NUMBER!!!
Try telling that  to the police if that boy goes to buy beer for his "girlfriend."
 
September 23, 2007, 4:35 pm CDT

No age matter

  Who to say age don't  matter,  I feel  no more than 10 is okay.  I had a feeling that I never felt before I meet this guy, find out he was 27 and I was 42  What I find is he never gave me a change to see if the age was a factor. So what happen is a other lady won his heart.  
 
September 23, 2007, 4:52 pm CDT

18 is Not Necessarily a Child

Quote From: shellyandmark

 Thank you for sharing your story. This is Shelly from the show. Congradulations on your 26th anniversary. I really thank you. I did not take Dr.Phil's advice.  We are still loving each other everyday. I will not give up just because people are uncomfortable with my situation. My relationship with Mark has been so fullfilling. I could not imagine him not in my life. I am not going to harm him as some people have said on their message boards. Bless you. Thank you for speaking up. I want you to know....I am not a bad person. Nor am I crazy.
 An 18-year old can vote, sign a binding contract, be sent to war to fight and die, and marry. I was married at 19, but that was a few decades ago, when young people weren't kept childlike into their 20's and 30's by overprotective, coddling parents who were unable to foster independence in their children... But I digress.

I doubt if Mark and Shelly's affair will last for a very long time, because Mark will probably grow out of it. He's at an age when he's changing rapidly, and in a month or two, somebody else will catch his eye. I really think Dr. Phil just went off the rails in his characterization of the damage that Shelly is doing to him. She is hurting her own son far more, in my opinion, just in the embarrassment factor.

The only problem I see is the above comment, "I could not imagine him not in my life." That is a little unnerving, coming from a mature woman. Shelly, you have got to be willing to let him go when it's time. He will go on to marry and have a family with someone more appropriate. And hopefully, you will find someone more appropriate too. Just enjoy this for what it is.

 
September 23, 2007, 5:47 pm CDT

NO WAY!!!!

Like I have said in previous posts, I am the mother of five boys.....22, 21, 18, 17, and 8....all of which are quite striking.  As for the older boys...and I say boys....I have friends who will say, "Gee, if I were only 20 years younger".  Every time I hear that I cringe.  Yuck.
 
First | Prev | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | 70 | 71 | Next | Last