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Topic : 09/21 Does Age Matter?

Number of Replies: 733
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Created on : Friday, September 14, 2007, 03:48:41 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Can May-December romances really last? Christopher Knight, famous for his role as Peter on The Brady Bunch, and Adrianne Curry, winner on America's Next Top Model, began their relationship when they starred together on the reality show The Surreal Life 4, and the public watched as they planned their wedding on their own show, My Fair Brady. Now they both say their 24-year age difference is a huge problem in their chaotic marriage. Adrianne says Christopher treats her like an employee, and Christopher says if she worked for him, she would’ve been fired a long time ago. Can these two work out their generational differences? Then, 38-year-old Shelly wants to know if it’s wrong to be in a relationship with an 18-year-old friend of her son. She says he makes her feel beautiful but wonders if she’s causing him or her children harm. Dr. Phil doesn’t mince words when he tells her his opinion. Join the discussion.

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September 23, 2007, 5:48 pm CDT

Does Age Matter

  I am very happily married to my husband for 16 years.  My husband is 10 years younger.  I guess I did robe the cradle.

When I first met my husband he did not look younger.  We had been dating for a while when I found out that he was 32 and I was 42.  I refused to marry him. he convinced me that age did not matter.  So far it is working out good.   We are both mature and do not have the power struggle.

 

Wish me luck.

 
September 23, 2007, 5:48 pm CDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

Quote From: mommy1231

It frustrates me so much when Dr. Phil said that this is so wrong, i am 27 years old and I just dont understand why age matters so much more than maturity. Think about it, i know myself personally i have been involved with guys older than me that act like they are 12, and then i have been involved with younger guys and they are so much more mature. If it makes you happy why not? I just think this is so frustrating because if you are over 18 and you love someone regardless of age you should be allowed to do that isnt that what the constitution states, that you have freedoms. Also, like i said you can be with somebody who is extremely mature, why should it matter what their age is, AGE IS NOTHING BUT A NUMBER!!!
You cannot be serious.
 
September 23, 2007, 6:18 pm CDT

Dr. Phil has double standards

I think it was awful the way Dr. Phil treated the woman on the show today.  I was 19 when I met my husband who was 38 at the time.  Almost the exact same age difference as the couple on the show.  We have been married over 15 years and have a 10 year old daughter and a 2 year old son.  I have never had to deal with an stigma because it is social acceptable to date an older man.  That is obvious by the way you treated the first couple who had a 25 year age difference.  You did not lay into him saying he was harming the other girl and he wrong for what he is doing.  However, I feel bad for this woman you basically caused her to be further ostracized by society.  Total double standard!!!  I understand the physiological concerns with regard to a couple having kids but who are you to decided that this boy can't benefit in some way from this relationship even if it doesn't last.  I think you should do a whole show on the now common practice of older women dating younger men in an attempt to understand why it is happening instead of condemning and vilifying these people for caring about each other.  Thanks, Lynetta
 
September 23, 2007, 6:32 pm CDT

Chris and Adrian !

I, for one, would love to see things work out with Chris and Adrian.  Yes, I saw Surreal life and My Fair Brady and there was much chaos in their relationship. I still would love to see them conquer their problems and have a happy life together. 

 

I don't think that the age difference is even the root of the problem. I think it's the vastly different personality types between the two.  Chris seems to be more practical and logical in his thinking (which is fine). Adrian seems to be more of a free spirit.  I think this is the source of their problem, and the fighting styles are very aggressive.

 

Maybe with some serious couples counselling, they can work through this, maybe not.  But I wish them both the best, nonetheless!

 
September 23, 2007, 7:06 pm CDT

Does age matter?

I had a special interest in watching this show because I am currently involved with a man who is 18 years younger than me. I am 39 and he is 21. We are fortunate than most of the stories on the board because we both are professionally employed,neither of us have children, and neither of us have ever been married. So no crazy external issues cloud our envolvement. I'm especially fortunate because I'm ALWAYS mistaken for being around 27 so most people think we are close in age. With all that said, my relationship with him has taught me how to love openly and honestly. Not saying that a man my own age could not do that, but I would be a fool to miss out on one of the best things that has happen to me because it does not fit others expectations.
 
September 23, 2007, 7:24 pm CDT

Did you really watch that episode?

Quote From: lulu430

Don't get me wrong.  This boy was too young to be dating a 38-year-old woman.

But Dr. Phil's reaction was all out of proportion to the situation. He harangued Shelley, browbeat and humiliated her, calling her behavior "demented", among other things. I don't recall him saying any such thing to the 18 year-old female who was dating the 42 year-old man she met over the internet whom she called "Daddy". He treated that one as the chaser, even making her cry by having the boyfriend's buddy come on to criticize her for being after his money. There have been other older men with younger women on the show, that didn't get such a massive dressing down from Dr. Phil. I certainly heard no discussion of robbing the cradle about the minor celebrity couple.

And I have a sneaking suspicion if Shelley had been a size 2, well-toned and botoxed age 38 who looked like, say, Jennifer Anniston, Dr. Phil would have been right proud of the dear boy. (wink, wink, smirk)
Dr. Phil chided the man who dated the girl that he met online!  He explained the huge gap in life experience between someone who has just graduated from high school and someone who has been married and lived life.  He also chastized the man for not DEFENDING his "girlfriend" from the guy's friend who made her cry.  You guys are being too hard on Dr. Phil.  The 2 couples should not even have been on the same show.  There was a huge difference between them.   I have a 16 year old son.  I don't think he is going to be ready to be a father any time soon.  I think Dr. Phil got it right when he said that this boy needs a mother.  I'll adopt you Mark!!
 
September 23, 2007, 7:32 pm CDT

Boy??

Quote From: ivisual

I think it was awful the way Dr. Phil treated the woman on the show today.  I was 19 when I met my husband who was 38 at the time.  Almost the exact same age difference as the couple on the show.  We have been married over 15 years and have a 10 year old daughter and a 2 year old son.  I have never had to deal with an stigma because it is social acceptable to date an older man.  That is obvious by the way you treated the first couple who had a 25 year age difference.  You did not lay into him saying he was harming the other girl and he wrong for what he is doing.  However, I feel bad for this woman you basically caused her to be further ostracized by society.  Total double standard!!!  I understand the physiological concerns with regard to a couple having kids but who are you to decided that this boy can't benefit in some way from this relationship even if it doesn't last.  I think you should do a whole show on the now common practice of older women dating younger men in an attempt to understand why it is happening instead of condemning and vilifying these people for caring about each other.  Thanks, Lynetta

Even when you are trying to defend this relationship you are referring to her as a woman and him as a boy.  That is Dr. Phil's point.  And I agree. 

He has not had a chance to go out into the world, find out who he is and what he wants to be.    

 
September 23, 2007, 7:44 pm CDT

I agree!!

Quote From: moushe

I, for one, would love to see things work out with Chris and Adrian.  Yes, I saw Surreal life and My Fair Brady and there was much chaos in their relationship. I still would love to see them conquer their problems and have a happy life together. 

 

I don't think that the age difference is even the root of the problem. I think it's the vastly different personality types between the two.  Chris seems to be more practical and logical in his thinking (which is fine). Adrian seems to be more of a free spirit.  I think this is the source of their problem, and the fighting styles are very aggressive.

 

Maybe with some serious couples counselling, they can work through this, maybe not.  But I wish them both the best, nonetheless!

I think that they make a great couple.  That is why they made a commitment to each other.  They are a married couple.  Any marriage that fails is a sad thing.  I hope and pray that theirs works.  Adrianne keeps Chris from getting a big head and Chris keeps Adrianne from stripping naked and running down Hollywood Blvd.  They balance each other.  You go guys!!

 
September 23, 2007, 8:35 pm CDT

Me too!

Quote From: flanative

I had a special interest in watching this show because I am currently involved with a man who is 18 years younger than me. I am 39 and he is 21. We are fortunate than most of the stories on the board because we both are professionally employed,neither of us have children, and neither of us have ever been married. So no crazy external issues cloud our envolvement. I'm especially fortunate because I'm ALWAYS mistaken for being around 27 so most people think we are close in age. With all that said, my relationship with him has taught me how to love openly and honestly. Not saying that a man my own age could not do that, but I would be a fool to miss out on one of the best things that has happen to me because it does not fit others expectations.
I was intrigued watching this show as I am also involved with a man who is 23 years younger than me.  I am 47 and he is 24.  It was not something I planned on happening it just did.  He is so interesting and much older than his 24 year old counterparts.  We have a sexual relationship but that is not all there is as I am totally interested in everything he has to offer.  His sense of humor, caring nature, gentleness, personality etc.  I am very worried about pursuing this but I can't help myself.  He pulls me in...he actually wanted to date my daughter but she thought he talked too much and could be gay.  He could be gay, but I see no evidence of it in our time together.  I love hearing his voice and seeing how happy he gets when he sees me.  I don't know what is going to happen but for right now, we just enjoy each other's company.  I honesty want to learn things from him as he also has shown me to be more open in love and friendship and stop worrying so much, just let things happen.  So that's what I am doing...we'll see what happens
 
September 23, 2007, 8:42 pm CDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

Quote From: myownself2

I feel exactly like the people above and they have expressed it all beautifully. I am 19 years older than my husband and we have had 31 years of happiness together. he has always been mature in his ways and I've always been younger in mine so our internal ages meet.  We both love the same things and dislike the same things. We love Country music and go to all the concerts and gigs that our favorite band "Gunsmoke" plays. We have had and still have a wonderful life. I love Dr. Phil but not today. I thought that he treated the first two with respect because it was the male that was older and when they first met she was barely into her 20's and he was well into his 40's but treated the others like, and telling them that theirs was sick and demented. Our families were not against us and we always had the love and acceptance of everyone. Each couple has to make up their own minds and hearts and not ask anyone else. Everyone's tastes and needs are different and no one else can make their decision.
He was 20 and I was 39.
 
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