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Topic : 09/21 Does Age Matter?

Number of Replies: 733
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Created on : Friday, September 14, 2007, 03:48:41 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Can May-December romances really last? Christopher Knight, famous for his role as Peter on The Brady Bunch, and Adrianne Curry, winner on America's Next Top Model, began their relationship when they starred together on the reality show The Surreal Life 4, and the public watched as they planned their wedding on their own show, My Fair Brady. Now they both say their 24-year age difference is a huge problem in their chaotic marriage. Adrianne says Christopher treats her like an employee, and Christopher says if she worked for him, she would’ve been fired a long time ago. Can these two work out their generational differences? Then, 38-year-old Shelly wants to know if it’s wrong to be in a relationship with an 18-year-old friend of her son. She says he makes her feel beautiful but wonders if she’s causing him or her children harm. Dr. Phil doesn’t mince words when he tells her his opinion. Join the discussion.

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September 21, 2007, 2:24 pm CDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

Quote From: famlefamle

how can you be with a child? don't you feel like his mother? my son is 30 and i still see his friends as children!!!! where are you? do you know that you are screwed up? it is the same thing as molestation.

Your persistence in seeing your 30-year old son as a child has nothing whatsoever to do with other people, the second guest and her significant other included. Because you view 30 -year old or 25 year old people as "children" does not mean the rest of the country does or has to. Because you might think of the union of two people --both legally of age-- as "[child] molestation" does not mean the law views it the same way. As long as people are not breaking the laws by which we are all bound as a society, I have no problem with other people's relationships--gay, straight, young, old. Personally, the thought of myself dating any man younger than me--forget about 18--makes me laugh, but that's my personal preference I cannot impose on others.

 

 Why does it bother you so much to observe another (legal) couple's relationship? What does your preoccupation with your son have to do with other people's lives? Why is the thought of a 38 year old woman cohabitating with an 18 year old man drive you to distraction?

 

Also, you might want to be careful about hurling accusations like "molestation" when they are legally unwarranted and inaccurate.

 
September 21, 2007, 2:24 pm CDT

does age really matter?

I am a 40 yr old female married to a 28  yr old man, We have been together 5 years and married 3 years. We are expecting our second child in december and I have never been happier. He makes me very happy and we seldom fight, we get along great.

My parents are happy with it and so are his parents. I really don't even think about our age difference. I have a lot of people stunned to find out I am 40 years old, because I really don't look it.

I also have a 21 year old son, a 15year old son and a 19 year old daughter. They really like my husband. I am just saying, I am very happily married and wouldn't change it for the world.

 
September 21, 2007, 2:26 pm CDT

not waiting till the end of the show

working and watching today, and I'm not even going to wait to respond to this show.  You've just told this woman to break up with her young lover..... 

 

Older women with younger men is as as old as the bible, women had to wait for their husbands to grow up.  I think these 2 people looked into each others eyes and fell in love, sometimes it really does happen.  They are both plenty old, brave enough to put up with the conflict, and this is none of our business....This looked like a love story, they want each other.  And that young man seemed darn healthy to me (better than that fireman from earlier this week), he might just learn a lot in the relationship.  I see no reason to shame this couple.....

 

poor Bobby Brady.  He grew up like every other white male who munched on a space food stick as they watched the Brady Bunch.  You can thank Florence Henderson or Alice for that unrealistic level of cleanliness in an active home you seem to expect.  HA oh, I'm just joshing with ya,  However, in my opinion, cats DO belong outside, get rid of the litter box completly and install a cat door, any sort of yard is big enough for a cat.  I think you should stay married and hire an "Alice" type housekeeper, then film it, and make it a reality show..... 

 

 

 

 

 
September 21, 2007, 2:27 pm CDT

It works for us

 

I am 21 years older than my second husband. When we married I was 50 and he was 29. We have been married for 6 years and have a wonderful relationship. We love and adore each other, and are true soul-mates.    

   

However, I do believe that age matters if one of the parties is still in their teens and has not experienced a life away from their parents before they become involved with an older person.    

   

 
September 21, 2007, 2:29 pm CDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

Quote From: blueeberri

If the women was 18 and the man 38 would it be ok? It seems to be OK for men to date much younger, but not women. It's not right. If men can date younger, so can women! Would he lecture a man that dates a woman 20 years younger?
 its NOT right even for a man to date someone that much younger, either way in my eyes it is sick....someone that want to do that, just wants to control the situation.
 
September 21, 2007, 2:29 pm CDT

Why does age matter

I meet my 19 yo lover when i was 36 we had 26 years of great life together.  The age doesn't matter if it works out and there is a mutural love shared..  I understand that in many cases it doesn't work out.  But look at how many marriages of today don't work out when the ages are closer.  I think to down some one because of the age difference is not being tolerante of our fellow being.  May be the 18 yo boy is in some way trying to replace or find a mother figure in the older women.  But I don't think he is that nieve.  Love and sex at that age is new and they want to learn.  Least the older women had smarts enough to wait till he was of legal age.  That's a whole different store.
 
September 21, 2007, 2:30 pm CDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

Dr. Phil, would you have given them the same advise if the older person was a man and the younger person was a girl?
 
September 21, 2007, 2:30 pm CDT

ONE MORE COMMENT

I HAVE NOTICED THAT SOCIETY IS ALOT MORE LOSE ON THE VIEWS WHEN IT COMES TO OLDER WOMEN WITH YOUNGER MEN,  ME PERSONALLY I COULD NOT DO THE 20 YEAR DIFFERENCE 10 WAS ODD ENOUGH IN THE BEGINNING. HIS MOTHER HAS ALWAYS HAD A ISSUE WITH IT,. I DO UNDERSTAND NOW THAT I HAVE A SON BUT AT THE SAME TIME I THINK SUPPORT FOR A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP IS GOOD NO MATTER WHAT THE AGE IS WITHIN REASON. I DONT WANT MY 17 YEAR OLD SON WITH A WOMEN OVER 30 OR 40.BECASUE I DO THINK HE HAS A HIGHER CHANCE OF GETTING HURT BECAUSE THAT PERSON MAY WANT MORE THEN MY SON WOULD AT THAT STAGE IN HIS LIFE. BUT   BECAUSE OF MY SITUATION IAM ALOT MORE ACCEPTABLE TO AGE DIFFERNCE WITH IN REASON. BUT IAM NOT JUDGEMENTAL I FEEL THE SAME WAY IF IT WAS A OLDER MAN YOUNGER WOMEN AS WELL.I WOULD SUPPORT MY SON IF HE WAS A WOMEN OF DIFFERENT NATIONALITY SO WHY SHOULD AGE BE A DIFFERENT SITUATION. I THINK A MALE AND FEMALE CAN HAVE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP IF THERE AGES ARE WITHIN REASON MY PERSONAL OPINION IS NOT EXCEDDING 15 YEARS APART. I DO BELIEVE ALSO THAT THE  YOUNGER PERSON SHOULD BE ATLEAST OUT OF H.S MORE THEN 4 MOS. THANKS AGAIN FOR YOUR TIME.
 
September 21, 2007, 2:30 pm CDT

Almost a mistake

I was engaged to marry a guy 25 years older than me. I got tired of being treated like a child and not having my opinions or needs seem as credible or important as his. I broke off the engagement this summer. I am still grieving the loss. I truly love this guy, now all I have to do is get over him.
 
September 21, 2007, 2:30 pm CDT

Does age really matter

I am  36 years old.  My  husband and I are 12 yrs apart.  Thankfully he is the older one!!  On some issues the age difference is really felt.  I have benefitted from the age difference.  I've never had to worry about him running around all hours of the night.  When we got together he had "sown his wild oats"  so drinking and all that was done.  I'm verry happy to have hime in my life.  We've had some awesome times and bad times.  I don't think that age is all that important when you have an equal relationship.  Thank You
 
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