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Topic : 09/21 Does Age Matter?

Number of Replies: 733
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Created on : Friday, September 14, 2007, 03:48:41 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Can May-December romances really last? Christopher Knight, famous for his role as Peter on The Brady Bunch, and Adrianne Curry, winner on America's Next Top Model, began their relationship when they starred together on the reality show The Surreal Life 4, and the public watched as they planned their wedding on their own show, My Fair Brady. Now they both say their 24-year age difference is a huge problem in their chaotic marriage. Adrianne says Christopher treats her like an employee, and Christopher says if she worked for him, she would’ve been fired a long time ago. Can these two work out their generational differences? Then, 38-year-old Shelly wants to know if it’s wrong to be in a relationship with an 18-year-old friend of her son. She says he makes her feel beautiful but wonders if she’s causing him or her children harm. Dr. Phil doesn’t mince words when he tells her his opinion. Join the discussion.

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September 22, 2007, 6:55 pm CDT

I think that Chris got a raw deal

Having seen the reality stuff on VH1, I don't think that Adrienne was being completely honest. She made it look like Chris was the big problem when she was dealing out as much of it as he was. And as to the cat box issue - dirty cat litter carries germs. Bad enough ones that as a transplant patient I am not allowed to clean out a cat box ever again. This makes your house dirty (not cluttered, to use Adrienne's words). It's not that I'm a huge Chris fan or anything, but fair's fair!
 
September 22, 2007, 7:01 pm CDT

Age absolutely doesn’t matter.

Dr. Phil,

I know that you have your opinion and you are entitled to them. However, I personally think you couldn’t be farther from the truth. You don’t know that young man nor how mature he is, you are aware of his age and therefore judge him on that.  When I was 16 I met my future husband, which at that time just turned 37. I married him a while later. That was 6 ½ years ago. We have a very loving relationship with nothing more than equal partners. My husband was a little reluctant to date me at first because of my age, after he got to know me he found that age was a number.

Don’t judge a book by the cover, I would have missed out on 3 kids and six year of bliss.

 
September 22, 2007, 7:43 pm CDT

Thanks for being positive

Quote From: cnimri99

I am 8 years older than my husband. While it does leave room for debates regarding my life experience over his (no matter how little it may be), we are quite happy after 5 years of marriage, and we have unfortunately lived much of that apart due to his military career. I must say, it takes a special person to be a military spouse, but age should NEVER figure into the equation. I don't think it matters what the difference is or who is older. Each person brings their own experiences and baggage to each relationship, and the challenge is being mature enough to handle it all eloquently.
 This is Shelly from the show. I want to thanks you for sharing your story. I think you said it just right. I am not in this situation to hurt anyone. I was just on here reading some of these stories and it is nice to find someone who doesn't judge. I am a wonderful person. I do not like how I was portrayed on the show. I wish you and your husband the best.
 
September 22, 2007, 7:50 pm CDT

I agree

Quote From: darbyusmc

Chris and his wife. I'm not familiar with them as a couple or their history as I'm out of the loop on pop culture I guess. Whenever I hear name calling, obscenities coming out of people's mouths as they blast each other to kingdom come, I just wonder what is wrong in their hearts. It's very sad. I feel that a trip to St. Jude's Children's hospital or viewing "Waiting for the world to change in Camden", the Diane Sawyer special about people with nothing and barely any hope or any of Oprah's inspiring shows including the one just on, "Into the Wild" or Planet Earth, just for a few examples, would make these two see what real problems are and maybe they'd wake up and take a good long look at their shallow lives. It's difficult to believe that Chris, for example didn't notice that his future wife was indifferent about keeping her environment organized and neat; and that she didn't pick up after herself. These things are important to him. That would be hard to miss. Maybe the Odd Couple worked as a TV show but it would drive someone to drink in real life.

 

The woman with a boyfriend her son's age and his friend to boot is doomed. Her son's friend. How embarrassing for him. Sometimes in life you have to put your children's feelings first and look down the road. The boy feels secure with a mother figure for a lover because I imagine he hasn't been
"most popular boy" with girls his own age. In time, given the chance he would come into his own but he doesn't stand a chance to do that while with her. She reminded me of the same kind of a woman who would get involved with a man on death row or in prison for a long time. Why people like this agree to appear on national television is beyond me. It's sad. And what's sadder is these are the same people who keep the Tabloids in business and couldn't tell you the capital of Nevada or find Iraq on a map. There is no world but their own minuscule existence. Very hopeless.

 

Being a victim is sooo excusable for so many wrongs.

 

The woman who had a teenage lover is insecure and finds confidence in her ability to sexualy overpower this child.

 

Dr. Phil was easy on her.  This woman in my opinion is a pedophile and has probably abused other youg men if not only in her own mind. 

 

 

 
September 22, 2007, 7:55 pm CDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

Quote From: fightfatigue

I am a 38 year old woman who married a man 22 years older than me.  We started dating when I was 25 and he was 47.  We have been married now for almost 10 years and we have a son who will be six years old in a few week.  My husband has two grown daughters and two granddaughters.

 

Our relationship has worked well for us and we are very happy together.  At first, it was hard for my father to see me with someone who was almost as old as him, but he saw how well my husband treats me and he told me that he doesn't even notice the age difference now. 

 

I have always been more mature for my age and I have never gotten along well with men my own age because I am always told that I have an "old soul".  Our relationship is not perfect and we do have our struggles just like any other couple, but by far this is the best relationship that I have been in.  My husband and I both have health issues and we understand each other when it comes to health problems.  He understands when I can't go and do and vice versa.  When I was married to my first husband, he had no sympathy and he didn't even believe that I was sick. 

 

I love watching Dr. Phil and I eagerly waited to watch this show because I am always hoping to see a show that talks about May/December relationships in a positive light.  Our relationship has worked I think the world should know that some of these relationships are positive and great.

 

 

 

 This is Shelly from the show...Thank you for sharing your story. I have been on here reading for sometime and getting my feelings hurt. Everyone thinking I am crazy or a child molester. I understand just like you do that me being involved with an 18 year old is different. I would have never seen myself in this situation either. I did not get to watch the show....but since I was there.....I felt I didn't have to considering Dr. Phil did not even talk to Mark and I by ourselves to see just how we are as a couple. He had his people do all his work. I use to be a big fan of his.....but after going there and him not even taking time out to get to know us as people......I am not a child molester..I am not crazy...I am a normal person with feelings and thought he would open the door for older women to date younger men...I mean...men have been dating younger women for years... Its nice to see it does work with some people and its sad that some people can't see that it could work. Thanks for sharing your story. 
 
September 22, 2007, 8:08 pm CDT

thanks

Quote From: Good2NoU

I am very passionate about this subject because I have been married to a man 4 years my junior before and currently am married to a man 9 years my senior.  What REALLY bothers me is everyone making reference to Shelly as a "Child Molester !"  A child is any person between birth and puberty, and molest means to accost and harass sexually.  These are definitions used by the dictionary.  I don't see any

of this happening in this situation !  I have to wonder if it was 10 years from now (Or Shelly and Mark

were 10 years older) would everyone including (or maybe especially) Dr. Phil feel the same way as

they do now ?

Thank you for being so kind. This is Shelly from the show. I am far from a child molester. Anyone who knows me...knows that.  I thank you for getting upset for reading that and saying something  about it. I did not take Dr. Phil's advice. He doesn't even know us. The story on before us....is not even like mine and Marks relationship. I truely have a lot of love for Mark. I am not crazy. I do not have any screws lose in my head. I am just a women that fell in love with someone younger than me. I did not expect it. I even tried to keep him away. Reading some of these messages make me feel better. Thanks for standing up for me. I don't even know you. This means alot to me..
 
September 22, 2007, 8:33 pm CDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

Quote From: mrsmills23

Dr. Phil,

I know that you have your opinion and you are entitled to them. However, I personally think you couldnt be farther from the truth. You dont know that young man nor how mature he is, you are aware of his age and therefore judge him on that.  When I was 16 I met my future husband, which at that time just turned 37. I married him a while later. That was 6 ½ years ago. We have a very loving relationship with nothing more than equal partners. My husband was a little reluctant to date me at first because of my age, after he got to know me he found that age was a number.

Dont judge a book by the cover, I would have missed out on 3 kids and six year of bliss.

 Thank you for being so positive.  This is Shelly from the show.....I do believe it depends on the person and not the age. I wish you lots of luck with your husband and thanks for sharing your story. It seems to be much more excepted when men do this kind of thing than when women do it. But I am glad you are happily married. You should not judge a book by its cover. I want you to know...I am a good person. A great mother. I am not a child molester. I can not believe how everyone is saying so many bad things about me. My relationship with Mark is not like the other couple on the show. We have been together now....going on six months and we have only had one big argument. We have a loving relationship. No..I did not take his advice. At first I wanted to break it off with Mark. But...Mark would not hear of it. I do love him and he truly loves me...My kids do not have a problem with my relationship with him. My son understands now..Thank you for sharing. May God bless you and your family.
 
September 22, 2007, 8:53 pm CDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

Quote From: chocolateluva

First of all I have a simple question.

WHY IS IT OKAY FOR MALES TO DATE YOUNGER WOMEN BUT WHEN WOMEN DATE A YOUNGER MAN SHES LOOKED AT AS IF SHEs DOING SOMETHING WRONG?

 

I am a 21 year old female, that dates nothing but older men. When I was 18 I was in a relationship with a 35 year old man. The only reason it ended is because he is in the army...enough said.

I am attracted to older men because SOME OF THEM know what they want out of life, has gotten it, close to it, or actually working to make it come true(not saying younger ones aren't); know what they want IN a woman(deep within not just physically), has their heads on right, has made their mistakes AND learned from them, they're done with the games and ready to be true(faithful, open, realistic and honest).

 

To make a long discussion short. Age is only a number. Its the mentality of the people in the relationship; that will tell if a relationship will work out or not; not their ages/difference.

 

I did not like when Dr. Phil told the older woman and younger boy that they needed to break up(not saying that they shouldn't), but didn't tell the married couple the same.

Society needs to accept that older women and younger men like they have accepted older men and younger women. 

 

 

  It seems that it is the women in our society, that have the biggest problem with the the younger man and older woman relationship. I have been reading these boards and it's mostly women that write very  critical  messages.

        Why is this happening?...

     

         It appears that the men are happy to be with the older and younger woman.

 

  Not the women, they don't like other women to be neither with younger nor older men...

 

 

 

     

 
September 22, 2007, 8:58 pm CDT

Shelly - You are sick!

Quote From: shellyandmark

 This is Shelly from the show. I want to thanks you for sharing your story. I think you said it just right. I am not in this situation to hurt anyone. I was just on here reading some of these stories and it is nice to find someone who doesn't judge. I am a wonderful person. I do not like how I was portrayed on the show. I wish you and your husband the best.

 

  Shelly:   Why would you damage the life of this young man for your own selfish pleasures? 

  He is a boy, for heaven's sakes !   His mental abilities to make decisions are not even fully developed.

   Can't you get a man? 

   Look around, Shelly.  Which of your 38 year old female neighbors would you like 'use'  YOUR Son?

   You are a sick woman!

  

    Knoxville, TN

 
September 22, 2007, 8:59 pm CDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

Quote From: joe81gayle

I met and married a woman 10 years older than me......WHEN I WAS 18!!!!!  We just celebrated our 26th anniversary May 2007.  We have always been very compatable with each other, we share the same values, morals, interest and love our life together.  We have never been separated, neither of us have ever had and affair.....so my advice to the people that disagree with May-Dec romance is to MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!!!!!
 Thank you for sharing your story. This is Shelly from the show. Congradulations on your 26th anniversary. I really thank you. I did not take Dr.Phil's advice.  We are still loving each other everyday. I will not give up just because people are uncomfortable with my situation. My relationship with Mark has been so fullfilling. I could not imagine him not in my life. I am not going to harm him as some people have said on their message boards. Bless you. Thank you for speaking up. I want you to know....I am not a bad person. Nor am I crazy.
 
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