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Topic : 09/21 Does Age Matter?

Number of Replies: 733
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Created on : Friday, September 14, 2007, 03:48:41 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Can May-December romances really last? Christopher Knight, famous for his role as Peter on The Brady Bunch, and Adrianne Curry, winner on America's Next Top Model, began their relationship when they starred together on the reality show The Surreal Life 4, and the public watched as they planned their wedding on their own show, My Fair Brady. Now they both say their 24-year age difference is a huge problem in their chaotic marriage. Adrianne says Christopher treats her like an employee, and Christopher says if she worked for him, she would’ve been fired a long time ago. Can these two work out their generational differences? Then, 38-year-old Shelly wants to know if it’s wrong to be in a relationship with an 18-year-old friend of her son. She says he makes her feel beautiful but wonders if she’s causing him or her children harm. Dr. Phil doesn’t mince words when he tells her his opinion. Join the discussion.

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September 23, 2007, 7:13 am CDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

     Heres one thing to think about with an age difference. I'll use 15 years for example. Suppose a 40 year old man and a 25 year old woman. This is pretty common. They both get married perhaps even have children. The man may be the financial provider also known as a BREAD WINNER. What happens when the husband dies? He will leave behind a wife with a big age difference and any children. How will they consider that on a legal aspect. What if the woman can't support her children after he dies. That could create a big problem for the wife and hard working taxpayers. Should it be against the law to marry with this kind of an age difference........
 
September 23, 2007, 7:14 am CDT

Amen

Quote From: katchaleensway

Hello all,

 

Boy I must say if some older woman came to my door to pick up one of my son's for a date,  that would be his last trip outside for a very long time.

 

Think about the families and all of the people effected by such a huge age gap and then concider your own children in this type of romance, I think most would agree this is not what you would want for your children.

 

 

Katchaleensway

Sooooo right! It almost took me out.I was on medication and extremely depressed for over a year. I was laundering Winnie The Pooh panties while my daughter had a 50 yr old then married old man taking them off her.Can't get passed that and I couldn't control or persuade her to do any different. Porche's, Corvettes and his attention ,lies, and wealth were no match for me.
 
September 23, 2007, 7:15 am CDT

Age does matter

I do believe, in this case, that age does matter.  He is a boy.  She is a grown woman.  I think that when everyone around you (son, daughter, mother) has a problem with the relationship then you should step back, take a look and listen to what others are seeing and you obviously aren't seeing.  It's just wrong in this case.
 
September 23, 2007, 7:31 am CDT

Selfish Shelley

Quote From: shellyandmark

 Thank you for sharing your story. This is Shelly from the show. Congradulations on your 26th anniversary. I really thank you. I did not take Dr.Phil's advice.  We are still loving each other everyday. I will not give up just because people are uncomfortable with my situation. My relationship with Mark has been so fullfilling. I could not imagine him not in my life. I am not going to harm him as some people have said on their message boards. Bless you. Thank you for speaking up. I want you to know....I am not a bad person. Nor am I crazy.

I will not give up just because people are uncomfortable with my situation

 

what about your kids Shelley???

What about your 18 year old son who is not only uncomfortable.....

but who has a MAJOR problem with this!!

 

Its mothers like you that screw with their kids heads and leave it to society to deal with the problems that these screwed up kids cause.....

 

Get help!!!

 
September 23, 2007, 7:51 am CDT

age doesnt matter

It frustrates me so much when Dr. Phil said that this is so wrong, i am 27 years old and I just dont understand why age matters so much more than maturity. Think about it, i know myself personally i have been involved with guys older than me that act like they are 12, and then i have been involved with younger guys and they are so much more mature. If it makes you happy why not? I just think this is so frustrating because if you are over 18 and you love someone regardless of age you should be allowed to do that isnt that what the constitution states, that you have freedoms. Also, like i said you can be with somebody who is extremely mature, why should it matter what their age is, AGE IS NOTHING BUT A NUMBER!!!
 
September 23, 2007, 7:58 am CDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

Wow, it's amazing that one person can see one thing when hundreds of other people see another thing. I don't think I've ever felt such an overwhelming tension filled atmosphere on the Dr. Phil show before. It's one thing to have an age difference in a relationship but that was just sad. Dr. Phil said it all. Completely selfish.  My heart breaks for that poor boy AND her children, it scares me to think they are being raised by her. I so hope she gets it  now.
 
September 23, 2007, 8:16 am CDT

It is ok for Peter Brady

I do agree that the 38 year old and 18 year old boyfriend didn't seem right because it was her som's friend

and the ages are not much different in her own kids,however Dr Phil really gave them a hard time but nothing was spoken to the child star and the model wife. I do believe it is double standard and always more acceptable for a male to date a younger woman but unacceptable if it is reversed. Not fair. I think it is strange the he 22 years older than the was. It was just as weird as the woman and the boy...

 

Dr. Phil didn't really say anything negative because of the celebrity issue. they needed to be evaluated

to about age instead of the dinamics of the relationship...

 

not fair...

 
September 23, 2007, 8:54 am CDT

EVERYTHING IN LIFE CHANGES

My husband has been at his current workplace for 31 years. When I think that I was only 8 years old when he started there, I have to laugh! And the day I was born, he had already been driving a car for a couple of years and had graduated from high school. At THAT point in time, it would've been nappropriate!

 

But we met when I was 27 and he, 45. At these ages, it was like no age difference at all, and we really hit it off! So, we both got divorces from our respective spouses, and 9 yrs later (yes, NINE yrs later!) we got married. We did NOT live together before our wedding date, believe it or not.

 

Now that I am 40 and he's 58, the age difference is really starting to show. In the years that we've been together, he has aged about 25 years, and me, only about 3.  I definitely have alot more energy than he does, and I hate it that he'd rather hang out in a chair and snooze instead of hang out with me! Plus, there's alot of other age related things that are going on with him both physically and mentally that really scare me and make me HAVE to face the facts:  I'm with "an old man."

 

Of course I still love him, but I guess everything in life changes. And I KNEW I'd be facing this, but I didn't expect it for a long, long time!  I, personally, don't want to be 90 yet, and I wonder why HE wants to get old so fast.. (He has been cleared by his doctor as being in "perfect health.")

 

But you know what? All the adventurous, youthful years we enjoyed together were well worth it and I wouldn't change THAT for the world! 

 

 
September 23, 2007, 8:55 am CDT

Age not an issue...

I was slightly miffed to see someone down the list of messages refer to her son's girlfriend as a child molester. His girlfreind is in her 30's and he in his lower 20's. I'm a 31 yr old woman madly in love with a 21 yr old man. I don't use the term man here carelessly, he is the most mature and responsible person I've ever known and we have a strong and healthy relationship. It bothers me to see people refer to women with younger men as child molesters while not batting an eyelash at men with women 20 or more years their junior.
 
September 23, 2007, 9:04 am CDT

That really you Shelly?

Quote From: shellyandmark

 This is Shelly from the show...Thank you for sharing your story. I have been on here reading for sometime and getting my feelings hurt. Everyone thinking I am crazy or a child molester. I understand just like you do that me being involved with an 18 year old is different. I would have never seen myself in this situation either. I did not get to watch the show....but since I was there.....I felt I didn't have to considering Dr. Phil did not even talk to Mark and I by ourselves to see just how we are as a couple. He had his people do all his work. I use to be a big fan of his.....but after going there and him not even taking time out to get to know us as people......I am not a child molester..I am not crazy...I am a normal person with feelings and thought he would open the door for older women to date younger men...I mean...men have been dating younger women for years... Its nice to see it does work with some people and its sad that some people can't see that it could work. Thanks for sharing your story. 

I thought you two were living together. Have you checked out support rights regarding common law marriages? You might get hit with a real surprise should Mark decide to sue you for financial support further down the road. 

 

I don't think you are crazy, or a child molester or any of that. But I do think you are opening yourself up to a huge potential for being very hurt.

 

In another post it was mentioned that Mark had been bringing up the idea of marriage. Here I have a very, very good piece of advice for you.

 

If you two do decide to tie the knot, don't get that ill tempered, conniving, under achieving wannabe priest to perform your service.

 

 
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