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Topic : 09/21 Does Age Matter?

Number of Replies: 733
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Created on : Friday, September 14, 2007, 03:48:41 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Can May-December romances really last? Christopher Knight, famous for his role as Peter on The Brady Bunch, and Adrianne Curry, winner on America's Next Top Model, began their relationship when they starred together on the reality show The Surreal Life 4, and the public watched as they planned their wedding on their own show, My Fair Brady. Now they both say their 24-year age difference is a huge problem in their chaotic marriage. Adrianne says Christopher treats her like an employee, and Christopher says if she worked for him, she would’ve been fired a long time ago. Can these two work out their generational differences? Then, 38-year-old Shelly wants to know if it’s wrong to be in a relationship with an 18-year-old friend of her son. She says he makes her feel beautiful but wonders if she’s causing him or her children harm. Dr. Phil doesn’t mince words when he tells her his opinion. Join the discussion.

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September 29, 2007, 8:00 pm CDT

Hello again!!

I won't have a cow!:>) I think that when there are children of similar ages living in the same house as the new boyfriend or girlfriend the waters become murky. The situation you described above is exactly what I mean. Each situation is unique. In this case there is only 6 years difference between the daughter livning in the home and the boyfriend. The son and the boyfriend are the same age. If THEY were married it would still be what it is. Unfortunately, she is still married to someone else. I am suggesting that the bonds of marriage should be respected. I mean that for Shelley and Mark too.
 
September 30, 2007, 6:22 pm CDT

whats up dr. phil

i wanted to comment on the same thing as cheriedoo.on that show you had the bradys who age difference was just as far apart as the 38 yr old who is dating her sons friend. i think everything you do you do because of a need to fullfill a need and that includes dating. when i met my husband he was 19 and i was 38 and we are still together 17 yrs later. and i'm glad we fill a need in each others life.
 
October 2, 2007, 5:24 pm CDT

reply Does Age Matter?

Quote From: shirorisu

OK, let's make it illegal to marry soldiers or anyone else in a dangerous job who could get killed.

Let's make it illegal to marry anyone with a life threatening disorder.

It might be a lot more fun to make it illegal to have an incredibly sexist viewpoint such as yours, that considers the man to be the provider.

Putting the boot on the other foot, is it ok in your opinion then for an older woman to be with a younger man, being that women typically die 7 years later than men do? Seeing as the man should be deemed the provider, you should have no problem with the worthless, non contributing older wife dropping dead before the BREAD WINNER.

    Not trying to have that kind of a viewpoint I was just using that as an example that is common in this country and how it related to this show. of course the role can be reversed and the woman be a financial provider. That obviously can differ........

   For the question, is it OK in your opinion then for an older woman to be with a younger man.

      I don't see nothing wrong with it. Obviously different people have there different view and opinions and preferences. They will do what they want and believe in..........

 
October 3, 2007, 10:05 am CDT

reply

Quote From: gloriouspoohbr

First of all, thank you. I gladly accept the responsability of caring for my husband when he will need it.  I can't believe you are married to the man you speak of. You have no care, compassion in your words. You only seem to have disgust. I am sure you kids will appreciate in knowing that as long as they do your will for their lifetime that you will love them. Stupid me, I thought that was unconditional. You have no problem with your own kids talking down to their father. That just blows my mind. Do you actually care for your husband or would you be one of those that wouldn't want to be bothered by simple things like caring for someone you love. I would hope that you would care for your husband if he needed you but by your tone it doesn't sound promising.

My husband has lots of  regrets of has own.

1. the fact he never got know his dad.He knew man who just want him to leave him alone.

2.The fact while other kids were doing things with there dads the only memory he has of his father is of a old man sitting in a chair yelling at him to not bother him.

3. The fact his mom was depressed she often told him that he was a mistake and that if he wasn't around she could die anbe with his dad.she did love him

4.The fact that his mom did die before our kids where born.

 It is not what I ave done I never talk to the kids about his mom or dad. he does.One one hand he tells them how much better they were then my family.Then on the other he says to them My mother  never did anything for me I raised my self.

5. He teats his kids like his dad and mom treated him.It does hurt them and he can't see that.It Even hurts me.

6.He wouldn't see a doctor ever now because of this he now is blind in one eye.The doctors told him it was of his own  doing.everything in him is out of control.no he is scared ad doing something about it.to late. We re only two years apart but he my not be around to see them grow up.

 
October 3, 2007, 10:25 am CDT

reply

Quote From: gloriouspoohbr

First of all, thank you. I gladly accept the responsability of caring for my husband when he will need it.  I can't believe you are married to the man you speak of. You have no care, compassion in your words. You only seem to have disgust. I am sure you kids will appreciate in knowing that as long as they do your will for their lifetime that you will love them. Stupid me, I thought that was unconditional. You have no problem with your own kids talking down to their father. That just blows my mind. Do you actually care for your husband or would you be one of those that wouldn't want to be bothered by simple things like caring for someone you love. I would hope that you would care for your husband if he needed you but by your tone it doesn't sound promising.
His half brother once told me the only reason he has anything to do with my husband was because of his mom.That brother dead.I saw him two times in the years before that.His family really as much to d with him.is half sisters have in the last year have My oldest came to a reality check a while go.No one will be alive on his side when or if she dos get married.That was sad for her to realize.So there I don't care what you think I am living it everyday. 
 
October 3, 2007, 2:53 pm CDT

does age matter

to me it does. i do not want a 20 year old boy. i have a 20 year old daughter. all he can do is satisfy me in other ways. i'm 39 and i would probably have to teach him. so it "ain't" happening. i also feel that is robbing the cradle. a young man should have a chance to experience life. go to school. do things like travel. do not tie yourself down with an older woman. older women want marriage and they will have a baby to at least try and keep him around. at 39 i have seen and experienced alot of things and it has made me wiser. your age also shows where your head is. i am glad to have seen what i saw although at times not pretty, and very painful. i can now try and keep a younger person from seeing what i have seen. and also being 20 years older than your mate "ain't" pretty when your 60 and he's 40. some of us start to fall apart at an early age. so in other words we may not age well. it is not fair and i feel it is very selfish to not let a young man or woman live and have a chance to experience life.i saw where a woman married a man 30 years older than she and now he's in his 80's and she in her 50's. she now has to take care of him with his alzheimers and her parents are still alive and they are also as old as the husband. she is now responsible for them also. she has a lot on her plate. i know you can get dementia at an early age but i think she would have had a better chance if she married a man her age.let that 18 year old live his life. and she already has enough kids and is to me,doesn't need to have anymore.
 
October 4, 2007, 9:49 am CDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

Quote From: shellyandmark

 Thank you for sharing your story. This is Shelly from the show. Congradulations on your 26th anniversary. I really thank you. I did not take Dr.Phil's advice.  We are still loving each other everyday. I will not give up just because people are uncomfortable with my situation. My relationship with Mark has been so fullfilling. I could not imagine him not in my life. I am not going to harm him as some people have said on their message boards. Bless you. Thank you for speaking up. I want you to know....I am not a bad person. Nor am I crazy.
The only thing I wanted to know is "Why did you go on the show?" You knew you weren't going to take his advice, because you already knew pretty much what he would say. You know how much this embarrasses and hurts your son and yet you continue to do it anyway. Maybe you're not a 'bad person', but you are a very selfish one.
 
October 5, 2007, 11:52 pm CDT

You better belive it does

I know all of the  "cougars" who have their hands on our sons think that they have men who are aged 19 and 20 but you are wrong.  Their brains haven't even finished developing yet.  I'm now the mother of a son who was 19 when he met his 39 yr old cougar.  I believe with all my heart that she saw a good looking marine who wouldn't be in the same zip code for a long time who would make a great baby.  Yes folks, she pregnant.  She actually did marry him after he turned 20 at the end of July although I think it speaks volumes that she didn't take his last name.

He has tried to tell us that he's the happiest he's ever been.  I'm sure he is...she bought him a 2007 Harley Davidson motorcycle within a few months of meeting him and not to mention the benefits of which I'm sure he's never had before.  She has season tickets to hockey games. 

He was such a man that it took him calling us and then chickening out several times and then dumping the news on his dad on Fathers Day that he was going to be a grandfather.  None of these things happen amongst adults.

This cougar is on notice she is now going to raise two children and more power to her because I know one of them is a real hardhead that has all the knowledge of the world in his pinky.
 
October 7, 2007, 7:19 am CDT

where's the common sense??

You have one situation where she's in her mid-20's and he's in his late 40's - and another situation where SHE is approaching 40 and HE'S STILL IN HIS TEENS!!  Where's the question?  They say that the average male is AT LEAST 2 years less mature than his age - SO THE KID IS 16 YEARS OLD AT BEST.  I just turned 40 and can't and WON'T think about someone that age.  Who wants to do all the teaching?  I think what I find the most unappealing is I have a nephew who is going to be 11 and THAT'S NOT THAT FAR AWAY.  If you have that little self esteem that you need to be with a child that still has acne for crying out loud - then you need some psychological help, my dear!!  You should be embarassed and ashamed and your younger children should be removed from your home.  You don't even stop to think what a negative message you are sending to THEM!!  Wrong, so wrong in so many ways!!  Shame on you!!
 
October 7, 2007, 9:21 am CDT

age doesnt matter!

ok.i am 19 yrs old and happily married to the love of my life whom is 25 yrs old.we have been married for 2 yrs and together 4 1/2yrs. so do the math we are 5 1/2 yrs apart no biggie right but i feel that age doesnt matter because it depends on the persons maturity.my parents went through a nasty divorce that lasted 5 yrs of seperation than finally the big "D"! i was my mothers counselor that made me skip from the age of 10 to acting like a 20 yr old doctor! so that made me skip my child hood and be mature by the time i was in high school i had it all figured out that all the guys my age were stupid and immature some were nice and mature but other just werent. so i met my now husband when i was 15 going on 16 through a friend who went to the gym w/him and we starting talking then started dating at that time my mom knew he was 21 yrs old and didnt mind at all. my husband can probably tell you better than i can he could not believe i was only 16 because of my maturity. so it just depends on the person and no one can really say if its wrong or not. my mother and father in-law are 13 yrs apart he was 19 she was 32 w/5 kids when they got married and my dad and step-mom are 12 yrs apart she was 21 my dad was 33 when they got together again everyone has some age difference between their spouse it just matters on the maturity.now dr.phil i respect you and all but you really cant say what one is feeling and judge them and say its completely wrong for them to be dating if you havent gone through it yourself.#1 fan natalie.
 
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