Message Boards

Topic : 09/21 Does Age Matter?

Number of Replies: 733
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, September 14, 2007, 03:48:41 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Can May-December romances really last? Christopher Knight, famous for his role as Peter on The Brady Bunch, and Adrianne Curry, winner on America's Next Top Model, began their relationship when they starred together on the reality show The Surreal Life 4, and the public watched as they planned their wedding on their own show, My Fair Brady. Now they both say their 24-year age difference is a huge problem in their chaotic marriage. Adrianne says Christopher treats her like an employee, and Christopher says if she worked for him, she would’ve been fired a long time ago. Can these two work out their generational differences? Then, 38-year-old Shelly wants to know if it’s wrong to be in a relationship with an 18-year-old friend of her son. She says he makes her feel beautiful but wonders if she’s causing him or her children harm. Dr. Phil doesn’t mince words when he tells her his opinion. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

More September 2007 Show Boards.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

October 7, 2007, 9:25 am CDT

get it right

Quote From: ashtonca

In watching this show about whether or not age matters, I am flabbergasted at the fact that Dr. Phil came down on this woman and her 18 year old boyfriend and said it was wrong, when he sat there and didn't say anything to "Bobby Brady" for dating and being married to a very young girl himself.  Why is it always okay for an older guy to date a younger girl, yet a woman cannot do the same? I think it's wrong either way, but to single out one from the other is descriminatory. I am sitting here listening to Dr. Phil say it's sick, exploitive and demented, yet none of this was said to Christopher Knight.  I think it's sick for a young girl to date a nearly 50 year old man, just as much as it is for a nearly 40 year old woman to date an 18 year old boy. 

Ashton from CA
ummm - get your characters right if you're going to condemn - it's PETER Brady - not Bobby!
 
October 7, 2007, 9:27 am CDT

assinine

Quote From: lulu430

Don't get me wrong.  This boy was too young to be dating a 38-year-old woman.

But Dr. Phil's reaction was all out of proportion to the situation. He harangued Shelley, browbeat and humiliated her, calling her behavior "demented", among other things. I don't recall him saying any such thing to the 18 year-old female who was dating the 42 year-old man she met over the internet whom she called "Daddy". He treated that one as the chaser, even making her cry by having the boyfriend's buddy come on to criticize her for being after his money. There have been other older men with younger women on the show, that didn't get such a massive dressing down from Dr. Phil. I certainly heard no discussion of robbing the cradle about the minor celebrity couple.

And I have a sneaking suspicion if Shelley had been a size 2, well-toned and botoxed age 38 who looked like, say, Jennifer Anniston, Dr. Phil would have been right proud of the dear boy. (wink, wink, smirk)
your "SNEAKING SUSPICION"  couldn't be further from the truth - you obviously aren't a dr. phil watcher or you would know better.  get real - wrong is wrong!
 
October 7, 2007, 9:30 am CDT

missing the point

Quote From: manofgoods

This isn't the first time that Dr. Phil made a double standard this way. Remember Jacqueline & Sanjay? They were on a episode called "Cougars & Sugar Daddies" (That was shown on November 8th last year, & was also shown again on March 29th earlier this year). Sanjay was 40 & Jacqueline was 18. Dr. Phil got hard on Jacqueline too much, but never got on the age difference between her & Sanjay, as he thought that it's okay other than that. So, Older Men/Younger Women would always be accepted, unlike Older Women/Younger Men. It's always a double standard this way.

SOMEONE obviously missed his point on this show - she was a money grubbing gold digger - and a trashy one at that - - and he was just an idiot who thought with the lower region cuz he has money -

 
October 7, 2007, 8:33 pm CDT

Too True!!

Quote From: cissie88

The only thing I wanted to know is "Why did you go on the show?" You knew you weren't going to take his advice, because you already knew pretty much what he would say. You know how much this embarrasses and hurts your son and yet you continue to do it anyway. Maybe you're not a 'bad person', but you are a very selfish one.
Dr. Phil did not seek you out, you contacted him.  "Is this NORMAL?" was the question.  He answered very strongly what most of us also feel only to see on the boards that you are still together.  What was the point?  Were you trying to prove to your son that he was wrong?  You only succeeded in letting everyone in on his pain and humiliation.  You did however provide powerful evidence for your husband in a custody battle.
 
October 7, 2007, 8:43 pm CDT

Sometimes Age Matters

Quote From: ncantu87

ok.i am 19 yrs old and happily married to the love of my life whom is 25 yrs old.we have been married for 2 yrs and together 4 1/2yrs. so do the math we are 5 1/2 yrs apart no biggie right but i feel that age doesnt matter because it depends on the persons maturity.my parents went through a nasty divorce that lasted 5 yrs of seperation than finally the big "D"! i was my mothers counselor that made me skip from the age of 10 to acting like a 20 yr old doctor! so that made me skip my child hood and be mature by the time i was in high school i had it all figured out that all the guys my age were stupid and immature some were nice and mature but other just werent. so i met my now husband when i was 15 going on 16 through a friend who went to the gym w/him and we starting talking then started dating at that time my mom knew he was 21 yrs old and didnt mind at all. my husband can probably tell you better than i can he could not believe i was only 16 because of my maturity. so it just depends on the person and no one can really say if its wrong or not. my mother and father in-law are 13 yrs apart he was 19 she was 32 w/5 kids when they got married and my dad and step-mom are 12 yrs apart she was 21 my dad was 33 when they got together again everyone has some age difference between their spouse it just matters on the maturity.now dr.phil i respect you and all but you really cant say what one is feeling and judge them and say its completely wrong for them to be dating if you havent gone through it yourself.#1 fan natalie.
I am happy that you and your husband are doing so well.  5 years is not that big a difference (but 19 is a bit young.)  However when you were 15 and he was 21 AGE MATTERED.  I agree that it depends on the individual couples how much age matters.  It also depends on the age of the younger of the 2.  18 is a child.  I have heard the argument that they can go to war at 18.  I think that is a travesty.  I would end that if I could.  In most states it is illegal to buy alcohol at 18 because they want to keep alcohol out of the hands of high school kids.  That is where you will find most 18 year olds.  A 40 something mother of 3 has no business looking for love in a high school.  Age matters in this case too.
 
October 8, 2007, 7:27 pm CDT

A little hard on 38 yo woman dating 18 y/o

To be honest, I think Dr. Phil was too hard on the 38 y/o woman who was dating the 18 y/o man.  It's no different than the ex-Peter Brady marrying a woman 25-years his junior, that's just as disgusting.  Lets face it, that generation gap is so wide you can fit the grand canyon in it.  However, since he was an older "man" who married a younger woman & he was a "celebrity", he did not get hammered like the older woman dating the younger man did, which I think is UNFAIR.  Since Dr. Phil came down so hard on the 38 y/o woman and told her how wrong it was to date a child (18 years old is not a "child" under the law) , he should have come down just as hard, if not harder, on Mr. ex-Peter Brady.  This is actually not the first time that Dr. Phil has portrayed a "double standard" for men.   The first time he cut an "older" man a break for dating a younger woman was when, Dr. Gupta, who was in his 40's, was dating an 18 y/o he met on-line (Sugardaddy.com).  If Dr. Phil is going to have such a strong opinion about an older woman dating a younger man, he needs to hold an older man dating a younger woman to the same standard of accountability.   Even though it's a "man", it's just as WRONG and disgusting as the 38 y/o woman dating the 18 y/o man. 

 
October 14, 2007, 3:23 pm CDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

Quote From: fromthesquare

I think it is obvious how many people writing do not have a teenage son. Dr. Phil does (or did) and so do I. No one knows better how immature an 18 year old boy is than a parent. I am shocked at how many people think it is fine to date such a young person!! How about 16? That is only 2 years difference but turns the same boy into jailbait. Shelley, do you really want YOUR son dating one of your peers?

I have a 17 year old and a 14 year old son. Some guys just mature faster than others. I wouldn't be surprised if my 17 year old fell for an older woman some day. Girls his age just don't "get" him.

 

I still find it amusing that a 20 year old male is a "man" if he is dating an 18 year old female and a "boy" if he is dating a 38 year old female. Gimme a break.

 

If this was a couple of a 18 year old man and a 18 year old female, no one would be saying a word. You are letting her age of 38 cloud why you consider him a "man" or a "boy."

 

I'm 40 and married to a 26 year old man. We have been together 3 years. Some people may question the age - ie. he is too young for me - yet my late husband was the very same age - 26 - when we got married. I was 20 at the time.

 

So - the double standard  - my late husband was old enough to get married at 26 because I was 20, whereas my current husband was too young to get married because I am 40???

 

Get real people.

 

Now, my hubby is older than 18, but I'd bet the same attitudes would be true if the ages had been 18 and not 26. Meaning, if this 18 year old male (from the show) was with an 18 year old female, there wouldn't even have been a show!! No one would even care that he was dating and having sex with that  18 year old woman. Even if he was planning to marry that  18 year old woman. So, why is it different that his woman is 38???

 

Can you people not see how ridiculous your arguments are???

 
October 14, 2007, 3:33 pm CDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

Quote From: rainx3

How very nice to hear the opinion of someone else who also sees the bigger picture. You have  hit the bullseye with your observation of her toying with this young one's feelings. She is damaging him on many levels. I'm hoping Dr. Phil will offer Mark help. As for Shelly, she has to acknowledge her responsibility and if you have seen her remarks here; she clearly doesn't believe she is doing anything wrong. Thanks for the input.

Would you be saying that is he was dating/living with an 18 year old woman? How is Shelley toying with his feelings any more than a woman his own age would? How is she damaging him any more than a relationship with an 18 year old woman would?

 

Give me a break.

 

Would someone PLEASE explain how he is any worse for the wear having a 38 year old girlfriend vs. an 18 year old girlfriend!!??

 
October 14, 2007, 3:44 pm CDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

Quote From: BrianX29

     Heres one thing to think about with an age difference. I'll use 15 years for example. Suppose a 40 year old man and a 25 year old woman. This is pretty common. They both get married perhaps even have children. The man may be the financial provider also known as a BREAD WINNER. What happens when the husband dies? He will leave behind a wife with a big age difference and any children. How will they consider that on a legal aspect. What if the woman can't support her children after he dies. That could create a big problem for the wife and hard working taxpayers. Should it be against the law to marry with this kind of an age difference........

I was 20 (a month shy of 21) and my late husband 26 when we married. Typical age difference that no one even blinked at. He was 44 when he died of MS. Leaving behind our 2 children and a load of debt, because he was the breadwinner, until I had to step up when he became ill.

 

How did having a "normal" age difference (of only 5.5 years) help with your little scenario?

 

If a woman marries a guy 5 years older or marries a guy 20 years older, if he was the "breadwinner" and dies for whatever reason, then she could find herself in financial straights for any number of reasons.

 

Your argument holds no water.

 
October 14, 2007, 3:55 pm CDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

Quote From: katchaleensway

Hello all,

 

Boy I must say if some older woman came to my door to pick up one of my son's for a date,  that would be his last trip outside for a very long time.

 

Think about the families and all of the people effected by such a huge age gap and then concider your own children in this type of romance, I think most would agree this is not what you would want for your children.

 

 

Katchaleensway

The only problem I would have with my 17 year old son (when he turns 18, of course) dating a much older  woman would be if he wanted kids and she didn't want or couldn't have them. I would ask him to take very seriously getting involved and possibly having to break woman's heart down the line because he wants kids. Also, to take seriously the reprecussions if she already had children and becoming involved in their lives if he didn't think it would go the distance.

 

Other than that, if they got along well, loved and respected each other, I wouldn't have any problem with it at all.

 
First | Prev | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | 70 | 71 | 72 | 73 | Next | Last