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Topic : 09/21 Does Age Matter?

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Created on : Friday, September 14, 2007, 03:48:41 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Can May-December romances really last? Christopher Knight, famous for his role as Peter on The Brady Bunch, and Adrianne Curry, winner on America's Next Top Model, began their relationship when they starred together on the reality show The Surreal Life 4, and the public watched as they planned their wedding on their own show, My Fair Brady. Now they both say their 24-year age difference is a huge problem in their chaotic marriage. Adrianne says Christopher treats her like an employee, and Christopher says if she worked for him, she would’ve been fired a long time ago. Can these two work out their generational differences? Then, 38-year-old Shelly wants to know if it’s wrong to be in a relationship with an 18-year-old friend of her son. She says he makes her feel beautiful but wonders if she’s causing him or her children harm. Dr. Phil doesn’t mince words when he tells her his opinion. Join the discussion.

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October 14, 2007, 4:03 pm CDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

Quote From: sssharon

Dear rh21575

    Evidently your previous marriage to a male 4 years younger than you,  didn't work out.  Four years is hardly the same as 20!  And the situation is directly reversed.  There are great differences in the maturity level of girls and boys.  Are you aware of the difference of male and female maturity?  As we get older the age span becomes less important - but please!  A 38 year old woman and a 18 year old Boy!   A boy hardly becomes a man at puberty, my dear. 

    Folks are referring to Shelly as a 'Child Molester' because only a few months ago the courts would have put her in jail for her actions!   Do you really think this young man is not being used?  Do you have children?  Give your 18 year old child up to be used by a person 20 years their senior.  See if you feel the same way as  ' they' do now.

 

Knoxville, TN

And if the 18 year old "boy" was dating a 17 year old - only one year difference - HE would be put in jail as a sex offender & considered a clid molester, because he is a LEGAL adult.

 

I know of a guy in my state who is having people protest him living in his neighborhood because he is a registered "sex offender." When he was 19, he had a 17 year old girlfriend he had went to high school with. Their relationship continued after he graduated. He was held responsible for his actions AS AN ADULT and now, even though he is married and has a good job and has never done anything else illegal, this one thing from his past will affect him for the rest of his life.

 

Funny how he was a 19 year old MAN with the 17 year old girlfriend and would be considered a 19 year old BOY here.

 

Again, give me a break.

 
October 20, 2007, 9:47 pm CDT

No defence

Quote From: fromthesquare

Even when you are trying to defend this relationship you are referring to her as a woman and him as a boy.  That is Dr. Phil's point.  And I agree. 

He has not had a chance to go out into the world, find out who he is and what he wants to be.    

I am not defending the relationship.  In fact, I wish my husband and I were closer in age.  What I am upset about is when a man is 25 years older then a woman it's acceptable.  When a woman is 18 years older then a man it is despicable.  I actually understand the reasons why the double standard is in place.  A guy can have kids at any age but women needs to be relatively young.  However, that doesn't give Dr. Phil the right to vilify this woman on national TV.  Older women dating younger men is on the rise and I suggest he does a show to try to gig into why it is happening.  Rather then congratulating men and vilifying women.  It's not fair.
 
October 25, 2007, 11:30 am CDT

Age Differences

It can work for some but not for others.

My second cousin was 45 and was her first marriage. He was 28, also his first marriage.  And it was the best marriage ever. And believe it or not they did see their 50th anniversary.

 
October 30, 2007, 7:17 am CDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

Unfortunately here in Australia, this episode was only aired today 30th October. I sort of understand this situation because the male who I am currently seeing, *Sam* is nearly 20years my senior, and at 21, this shocks people. But that is how it is, as most people I see are atleast 10 yrs older than me and the one before *Sam* was 41. I dont know why. I interact better with males in general, and better with older people in general, so I guess the two combined makes sense. The age difference doesnt bother me or them because they come after me. I dont go out of my way to end up in a relationship with them, it starts as purely platonic and I dont see it any other way, but by the end of it they come after me for something more, and I dont want to hurt them or lose the friendship that has been built. I dont know what I am doing to cause this but I dont mind. It's everyone else that I get a hard time from. I just treat them like I would a brother and apparently that is enough. Males my own age I treat the same and we become really great mates. How it gets so far I dont really understand because they generally lead. Providing both parties are of legal age and mental maturity, there shouldnt be a huge problem. Or maybe that is just my mind being warped by the last 4 older relationships.
 
November 2, 2007, 5:29 pm CDT

Age Difference

One thing I have a problem with is that Dr. Phil said that the 25 age gap was not really a major factor in the relationship between Adrianne and Chris, but harped on Shelly about the 20 age gap. Adrianne was only three years older than "the boy" when she started dating her husband. Also, the mother who called in had a 20 year old who is just a year younger than Adrianne was and he was still against it. So, why was Dr. Phil so harsh against a 20 year difference and not a 25 year difference. Is it because the man is older? Is it because they are famous people? What is the deal? I think that at 18 you should be able to choose who to be with, that is why the law only goes up to 17.
 
November 5, 2007, 9:21 pm CST

Agree

Quote From: scarletfraggle

One thing I have a problem with is that Dr. Phil said that the 25 age gap was not really a major factor in the relationship between Adrianne and Chris, but harped on Shelly about the 20 age gap. Adrianne was only three years older than "the boy" when she started dating her husband. Also, the mother who called in had a 20 year old who is just a year younger than Adrianne was and he was still against it. So, why was Dr. Phil so harsh against a 20 year difference and not a 25 year difference. Is it because the man is older? Is it because they are famous people? What is the deal? I think that at 18 you should be able to choose who to be with, that is why the law only goes up to 17.

 I agree, its biased, its ok if its an older man with a younger woman but not reverse. Bottom line if the person is of legal age, its their business. There is no recipe for the perfect relationship or crystal ball to know how long it will last regardless of age. If both people are happy thats what matters. I normally agree with Dr. Phil but in this case he was probably thinking of his own sons, if he had a daughter his oppion of Chris and Adrianne may have been different.

 
November 5, 2007, 9:54 pm CST

P.S.

Quote From: scarletfraggle

One thing I have a problem with is that Dr. Phil said that the 25 age gap was not really a major factor in the relationship between Adrianne and Chris, but harped on Shelly about the 20 age gap. Adrianne was only three years older than "the boy" when she started dating her husband. Also, the mother who called in had a 20 year old who is just a year younger than Adrianne was and he was still against it. So, why was Dr. Phil so harsh against a 20 year difference and not a 25 year difference. Is it because the man is older? Is it because they are famous people? What is the deal? I think that at 18 you should be able to choose who to be with, that is why the law only goes up to 17.

If people agree that an 18 year old male is a child, then why is it alright for our own government to send them to War?  Maybe the people who think 18 is still a child should take it up with President Bush.

 
November 8, 2007, 5:24 pm CST

my intent was not to offend anyone

Quote From: klaus_emmeline

Your persistence in seeing your 30-year old son as a child has nothing whatsoever to do with other people, the second guest and her significant other included. Because you view 30 -year old or 25 year old people as "children" does not mean the rest of the country does or has to. Because you might think of the union of two people --both legally of age-- as "[child molestation" does not mean the law views it the same way. As long as people are not breaking the laws by which we are all bound as a society, I have no problem with other people's relationships--gay, straight, young, old. Personally, the thought of myself dating any man younger than me--forget about 18--makes me laugh, but that's my personal preference I cannot impose on others.

 

 Why does it bother you so much to observe another (legal) couple's relationship? What does your preoccupation with your son have to do with other people's lives? Why is the thought of a 38 year old woman cohabitating with an 18 year old man drive you to distraction?

 

Also, you might want to be careful about hurling accusations like "molestation" when they are legally unwarranted and inaccurate.

 i do not seee my son as a child. i see him as my child. he is a fiull grown man . we have  a healthy, adult relationship.  when i meet his freinds,  i do not see them as possible dates, i see them as my sons men friends.  i was not personally attacking anyone. i was "thinking" outloud on the messageboards.  i am over 50 years old. imagining myself with a teenager would be imagining myself as achild molester. i did not mean to offend anyone. i had no idea anyone would see my posting as a personal attack on themelves and thus attack me. i would have responded sooner, i stumbled onto this link. i didn't know people could write back and forth to each other. thank you for enlighting me . i certainly have a different view about posting. people do not necessarily read what i write, the way i felt it.

 
November 8, 2007, 6:38 pm CST

09/21 Does Age Matter?

It seems that the majority of people who are really against relationships with big age differences are the parents of the younger person in the relationship. I am 18, and my boyfriend is 31. It is a large age difference, and I do worry about what will happen when we're older, but for now I'm embracing it, and I'm the happiest I've ever been! He is old enough to have interesting life experience, and he works in the same industry that I'm studying about in university. I honestly believe that he treats me better than anyone else ever could. (Even my mum agrees). We just compliment each other perfectly, as I bring a sense of fun into his life and he appreciates, spoils and loves me. I believe that if the relationship is appropriate (ie youngest person is over 18), and the two people make each other happy (rather than an older person dating a younger person to make themselves look better, or an older person dating a golddigger) then it is fine and can be a wonderful thing.
 
November 9, 2007, 6:59 pm CST

dog

Why is free speech not really free speech? We do live in America don't we? I am so upset that Dr. Phil's topic wasn't that Dog's son betrayed him but that it made what Dr. Phil thought would be a better rated show. What people say in the privacy of their own home is THEIR own business. The real story is how Dog's son took advantage of his daddy's position. What a jerk. I am so tired of having to try to be politcally correct. What happened to as I said FREE SPEECH????????
 
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