Message Boards

Topic : Difficulty Forming Friendships

Number of Replies: 346
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:19:42 am
Author : dataimport
Do you have difficulty making or finding friends? Meet others like you and share your story.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

User Mood
Sad

Message Emote
blank
September 14, 2006, 7:48 pm PDT

difficulty finding good, honest friends

Hello. I am new to this forum. I always have and still do finding good friends in person and online. I know I am a good person and do not have bad intensions. I do not drink or use drugs. I don't even have a social life and never had a best friend.  I am really shy and have hard time talking because I always been really quiet. Sometimes I just do not even want to go outside unless I really have to and I just stay home for days till I have to go to college or do errands. I am just wondering if I will ever find a good friend in my area.
 
User Mood
Bored

Message Emote
blank
September 15, 2006, 7:24 pm PDT

Difficulty Forming Friendships

Quote From: dreamer6

I'm 27 with two kids, a 7yr old and 1 yr old. I can never seem to make any friends or even get people to let their kids come over and play with mine more than once. For my son's 7th b-day I invited 11 kids from his class. 4 rsvp'd and only 2 showed up. One of the kids lives just down the block, and when his mother found out how close we lived, she said she would call to get the kids together later that week; but then never called. This isn't the first time I've tried to reach out and meet other parents. They just never want to seem to come back. We had a girl in our neighborhood babysit once then she never returned my calls to babysit again. At work I can't seem to make any friends, either.

I'm not a bad person. I'm nice and helpful. I try to listen to others. I don't think I'm better than anyone else. I'm giving. I know I have faults too. I'm overly organized. And I have to have all the info before I do anything. 

And my husband, who is the complete opposite of me. He's rude, acts male chauvinistic. Very moody. Thinks he's better than everyone else. Easily irritated if someone isn't as smart as him. And he has no problem making friends. People always invite him to go out and do things.

So what is wrong with me? My husband even says I must be the problem, though he doesn't understand why, cause he even tells me; I'm a nice and kind person. He tells me I should be like him, then maybe people will like me.  But I don't to become like him. But there must be something about me I need to change. I just don't know what.

 Did those women you tried to make friends with meet your rude chauvenistic husband? Maybe the problems not you....  Also, you should try joining some local clubs ( book clubs, PTA, ect. ) It will be an oppurtunity to meet more people and connect. Get a cause, volunteer  and Im certain you'll find people with your intrests to become friends with.
 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
September 19, 2006, 5:31 pm PDT

me too

Quote From: kmting1

I watch and listen to dr phil every day and still have troubles understanding why i have so much trouble making friends. i feel that i am a very good friend, i am happy, caring and would be very supportive if anyone needed me the problem is i have only met one person that has got to see that and she moved away about 2 years ago. i have a lovely marriage and my husband is my best friend but i long for a friend that we could go and have coffee with or just sit and talk, i see others out having coffee and it makes me feel even more lonelier than ever. i miss my friend very much we still talk and visit but it is not the same as she lives 11 hours away. I am not sure what to do. My husband is very understanding and wishes the same for me. Tracie

Hi,

I know how you feel. It seems the only place I accually fit in is online. I just wish Icould find someone closer to home to go out with and just have fun! I have the best husband on earth and alot of people start to like me for myself then are suddenly put off by how happy I am with my marriage People seem to think that you should be as unhappy as they are in order for you to UNDERSTAND. I did make one very dear friend a year ago but unfortunately she died of  a kidny infection in May. I really miss her. You never really know how great friends are until you have had one and lost it. I loved her and will always remember her. I hope I can find another friend soon I'm really lonely.

Holly

 
User Mood
Sad

Message Emote
confused
September 19, 2006, 8:50 pm PDT

Making friends

Quote From: hollync20yr

Hi,

I know how you feel. It seems the only place I accually fit in is online. I just wish Icould find someone closer to home to go out with and just have fun! I have the best husband on earth and alot of people start to like me for myself then are suddenly put off by how happy I am with my marriage People seem to think that you should be as unhappy as they are in order for you to UNDERSTAND. I did make one very dear friend a year ago but unfortunately she died of  a kidny infection in May. I really miss her. You never really know how great friends are until you have had one and lost it. I loved her and will always remember her. I hope I can find another friend soon I'm really lonely.

Holly

Hi Holly, i too find the only place i fit in is on-line. I do get the impression sometimes from others that they find it funny that my husband and i have a good relationship, i do get little coments from time to time so perhaps you are right. I have not met many that are as close as we are perhaps others see that as not needing anyone else. I guess. What area are you from?  i am from down under in Australia. Tracie
 
User Mood
Depressed

Message Emote
blank
September 21, 2006, 12:44 am PDT

hi there

Quote From: redcolor

Hello. I am new to this forum. I always have and still do finding good friends in person and online. I know I am a good person and do not have bad intensions. I do not drink or use drugs. I don't even have a social life and never had a best friend.  I am really shy and have hard time talking because I always been really quiet. Sometimes I just do not even want to go outside unless I really have to and I just stay home for days till I have to go to college or do errands. I am just wondering if I will ever find a good friend in my area.
i know how you feel about being shy, i have found it difficult to make friends throughout my life and i use humor as a way of getting attention. One of the ways that i have coped with feeling left out and rejected. i don't drink or use drugs either and i don't have a social life and have never had close friends to communicate with.
 
User Mood
Relaxed

Message Emote
blank
September 22, 2006, 1:21 pm PDT

Difficulty Forming Friendships

Quote From: kmting1

I watch and listen to dr phil every day and still have troubles understanding why i have so much trouble making friends. i feel that i am a very good friend, i am happy, caring and would be very supportive if anyone needed me the problem is i have only met one person that has got to see that and she moved away about 2 years ago. i have a lovely marriage and my husband is my best friend but i long for a friend that we could go and have coffee with or just sit and talk, i see others out having coffee and it makes me feel even more lonelier than ever. i miss my friend very much we still talk and visit but it is not the same as she lives 11 hours away. I am not sure what to do. My husband is very understanding and wishes the same for me. Tracie

 I know exactly what you mean. I moved about 2 years ago, leaving everything behind and all of the people I knew to make a fresh start. I am very shy and I get anxious around people. I wish I could just find someone that gets me. My husband wishes that I would meet people, because then I wouldn't make such a big deal about him going out with his friends. I feel that I am a very loyal friend and always there when someone needs me.. so why is it so hard to get out there and make some friends?? By the way.. where do you live?
 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
September 23, 2006, 5:58 pm PDT

HI Tracie

Quote From: kmting1

Hi Holly, i too find the only place i fit in is on-line. I do get the impression sometimes from others that they find it funny that my husband and i have a good relationship, i do get little coments from time to time so perhaps you are right. I have not met many that are as close as we are perhaps others see that as not needing anyone else. I guess. What area are you from?  i am from down under in Australia. Tracie

I'm from good old North Carolina USA. I Think mabey you are right that people dont think we need another person when we have good husbands. I'm not really sure what to do about that... Well I have a good idea. Lets be pals. You and I seem to have good husbands in common who knows what else is there. I have 2 little boys ages 2 and 4 and I am working on #3. I stay at home with the kids and love every second of it. The only thing I miss about work is having a social life as shallow as it was then. I love singing and I have made people stop what they were doing to listen (I'm told I should go Pro.). Acting is another passion of mine. I'm not very good at much else but I do spend alot of time at church when I can.

What about you?

See ya later,

Holly

 
User Mood
Good

Message Emote
confused
September 28, 2006, 9:03 am PDT

WHY

Why does it have to be so hard to make friends? I am a 51 year young female married and happy. My husband is a pilot so he is gone alot of the time and I work from home, which I like most of the time except the work I do (TECH SUPPORT for a Medical Billing Software Co.) i sometimes feel like a prisioner in my own home I only work 4 days of the week but man that can be a long time. We recently relocated to central Florida from S. Florida and i have really nice neighbors and all but they are gone during the day and in the evening they just want to relax with their own families. I have two grown boys (Men) out of the house and on their own living in other states so no family around. I go to Church alone, and everyone says you'll make friends their. Not true their friendly enough but if you go alone no one really talks to you. So I don't know what else to do. I am so lonely and bored. I am NOT looking for a relationship with any man just would love to have a female friend to have lunch, go shopping, a movie,  talk, laugh how i miss laughing. Anyway why does it have to be so hard to make friends. Where do you go?

 
User Mood
Sad

Message Emote
blank
September 29, 2006, 5:04 am PDT

Difficulty Forming Friendships

Quote From: hollync20yr

I'm from good old North Carolina USA. I Think mabey you are right that people dont think we need another person when we have good husbands. I'm not really sure what to do about that... Well I have a good idea. Lets be pals. You and I seem to have good husbands in common who knows what else is there. I have 2 little boys ages 2 and 4 and I am working on #3. I stay at home with the kids and love every second of it. The only thing I miss about work is having a social life as shallow as it was then. I love singing and I have made people stop what they were doing to listen (I'm told I should go Pro.). Acting is another passion of mine. I'm not very good at much else but I do spend alot of time at church when I can.

What about you?

See ya later,

Holly

Good Idea Holly, i live in New South Wales area of Australia and have three girls, two from my first marriage and i from my current. We did plan on more but an ectopic pregnancy and the doctors taking both my tubes we were unable to have anymore children. We were very sad for a long time and after 4 years we still give our little baby a thought. My eldest daughter is 27 and lives close by with 3 of her own children, my middle girl is at Uni studying to be a teacher and in her 2nd year and my baby is 9. i started work again about 9 months ago and enjoy going out and meeting people, i do go if i am invited on social occassions but often feel very uncomfortable and sorry that i had bothered. i do try though. i enjoy being home with my husband and enjoy going out as a family. We go on picnics and sometimes camping, love to bush walk and enjoy going places that no-one else is just us we sit and look at the world from the top of a big hill and enjoy the birds and the sounds. My daughters all enjoy singing and my middle daughter loves acting and had been in a few stage productions in and around our local area. Enjoy them while they are young as they grow up so fast and leave home that you don't know what hit you when they go. until next time Tracie
 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
October 1, 2006, 3:02 pm PDT

Looking for that special friend

 

I feel that I am a warm and friendly person and a very good friend however I am having trouble finding that one friend to hang out with, share stories with and laugh.  I have friends at church that I get together with for a coke or lunch once in a while but its just not enough.  I belong to a great church and try very hard to reach out to people with very little luck.  It seems the ladies already have a group of friends or that special friend and I would be that 3rd person or they are they have young children and very busy.  The bottom line is, I'm real lonely, more than I'd like to admit.  I had that so-called friend that I met 2 years ago and we clicked right away.  About 6 months ago our realtionship was cut short by her due to reasons I'm not sure I even understand.  I searched for answers trying to undersatnd why she would do this, I thought she would always be open to communication but that wasn't true.  I've tried to move on but its hard.  I read some really good books on friendship which did help but there are those moments where I am reminded of things she and I use to do and I get that tear in my eye.  I look at myself and wonder why, what can I do to improve myself and my friendships.  Anyone out there have the same issues?  

 
First | Prev | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | Next | Last