Topic : Difficulty Forming Friendships

I'm not the kind to judge, I know you have a special gift to share. All I can say is my son's girlfriend also has epilepsy. She has encountered many struggles in her life. I love her with all my heart as my own daughter. I feel very lucky to love both of my son's girlfriends for who they are. I would do anything I could to try to help. I am not perfect either, btw (who wants to be perfect anyway?), but one day I voiced out loud that I wished to learn to love myself as I was, this was a while ago. All I can say is some pretty amazing things have happened since that time. And I noticed the amazing things have been happening all along. You've heard it before, but just maybe practice loving and nurturing yourself as you are. I wish you all the best. Cosmic rule #1 is that you are loved as you are. Very truly,

No matter which way I look at human relationships, it all seems kind of tricky to me. Can't force things ya know. Tricky is the best way I can describe relationships, even for people who do love themselves and have everything going for them. Some of my most alone time was spent in a relationship. It seems so simple, be kind, be truthful, be reasonable (not perfect), loyal to some degree, understanding would be nice. I think it has a lot to do with misinterpretations and intentions. No one is imune to misunderstandings. I'd like to tell you there is an easy answer. Maybe there is. In the book the Secret (I enjoyed much of that book), they talk about pretending your desire already exists, visualize it and act like you said, know it is happening. I believe it is the journey, how we treat each other, how we walk day to day. I could not tell you where you find your emphasis anymore than you can tell me where I find my emphasis. Once I wanted to understand the essence of the word Universe. U ni verse. U is a very interesting letter, I thought of flow like the opposite of resistance, one definition for U has to do with "internal energy" -- I think that is totally cool and freaky; "ni" in Lakota has to do with water and the essence of life, and verse is popularly understood as communication or song ,,, put it together and we have "flowing internal energy life song. " I like it, I like it a lot. But words are a little tricky too. All I can suggest is try to have some fun along the way. Lots of times people end up in relationships and are unhappy. It seems all we want is a little understanding and kindness and to be able to share these qualities with people or someone we really care about. Miracles do happen. I agree your circumstance sounds challenging, when I come to obstacles or roadblocks, I usually try to go around them. One thing I am learning too is to try to not get stuck on words, sticky as they may be. Para la vida.

Grandma

 I came here with some of the same frustrations about relationships and I have everything going for me. Reading the info here helped me put things in perspective. You are right, women in general don't want to "carry" a man. No one can give us the answers we seek. I think it is perfectly natural for individuals to wonder why people are the way they are -- just like it is natural to desire a friend or companion to share ourself with. So for what its worth, thank you all.

One of my favourites is' "It's what's inside that counts"

sung by Coleman Wild(e)?

I am looking for friendships on the board.  I am a female over 50.  I have read Colin Powell's book, both of Barak Obama's books, Bill Clinton's book, books by Tavis Smiley, Tim Russert's book about his father and other books by political authors.  I enjoy vocal and instrumental jazz and my computer.  I enjoy making cards using my Hallmark program and sending cards to my family, friends and to our soldiers fighting in Iraq and Afganistan and those in the VA hospital near my home.

I love my grandchldren and enjoy talking with them even though they are across country from me.  I have anxiety problems and have a very difficult time leaving my home except for doctor appointments. I also have arthritis in both knees and need surgery but afraid to have the necessary surgery.  I am an attractive person, but overweight by nearly 100 lbs. 

I just want friends who are uplifting as I try to be to others.  I would love to have board friends who would just say "HI" and find out the person that I am.  I don't want to meet anyone, just board friends.  Do I have any one out there who might be interested in becoming a board friend.  And I don't mean male friends, I mean male or female board friends...FRIENDS!  So do I have any friends out there? 

I am a fairly intelligent person. I am loving and caring and would bend over backwards to help anyone. I am always polite to people. At the moment i am in a really dark place emotionally bacause I am becoming more aware of the fact that I am unable to make female friends.  I had a difficult upbringing and my parents disowned me, during my childhood i was discouraged from making friends because my mum was a loner and my dad was always at sea in the Navy.  I have never really had 'friends' there are always people I say hello to and may stop in the street for a chat but no one ever takes my number or invites me round for coffee. It feels likey the humor me by giving me five minutes of their time and thats it.  I always invest heavily at the slightest hint of an impending friendship, I spend time with them and help out where I can but within a few weeks they just drop me. I am wondering if I am just one of those peolpe who are destined to be friendless. My partner thinks it may have something to do with my physical appearence....I am nearly 6ft tall with ginger hair and i carry myself tall!! I also have a broad Scottish accent.  I stand out from the crowd and he thinks that may intimidate people......book and cover comes to mind....but he may have a point. when he said that I started taking note of my female peer group and started to notice liitle things that had previously gone unnoticed....they all dressed the same and had similar haircuts....I am not fashion conscious and just wear my hair long and straight.  Am I friendless because I am intimidating or different?  Am I friendless because I force friendships with people who just humour me?  Or am I friendless because I am sending signals that are negative and overbearing?...........I always have a smile on my face and I normally I am an extremely positive person.....Is it normal not to have friends at the age of 33, when all the people I know have cosy little groups with big invisible signs saying 'KEEP OUT EMMA!!!