Topic : 01/25 Secrets in the Suburbs

Brent, GROW UP.  You are married.  Do you have no respect for your wife, or yourself?  Renee, do NOT do this.  If he doesn't respect and love you enough, leave him.

Kathee

You said so well what I believe, and likely shorter too. :) 

Best wishes.

this world is getting crazier and crazier as each day goes by'

Plain perversion.

Oh please don't feel sad for us. My wife loves me and I love her, I bring her flowers about 3 times a month, take her out to eat often, buy her "Youth Dew" perfume for almost any holiday (I know what fragrance she wears, and her dress size is currently a 10). We work crossword puzzles together and laugh a lot.

When we married we pledged to share our lives with each other. We have shared all the ups and downs of life for 40 years and great sex is part of the sharing. Great sex with each other and good sex with very close friends.

Swinging is not for most couples because they are not deeply in love, we are. I know there is no other woman out there for me, if she wanted to stop swinging today I would say O.K. and it would stop cold, and if I wanted to stop she would say O.K. We do it because it is fun for us. We have great self esteem, self worth and any of the other catch phrases you can think of.  

So we are O.K. and we are good people, we just have sexy fun.

First off, let me say that I have not seen this show but from what most of you have written I would tend to think that this couple is not happy in any aspect of their marriage and that adding another sex partner would totally destroy any chances they have of  marital bliss! Sounds like the husband is forcing the wife into a situation that she is not comfortable with....I would tell her to stand strong because he isn't thinking about her at all and it's likely he will cheat on her even if she gives in. Their problems aren't about sex and sex won't fix them!

I appreciate what this husband (cfnamier) had to say about marriage and it is obvious to me that he is more in tune with how his wife feels than most husbands are. That seems to be the case with most of the swinging couples I've had the opportunity to meet. These are the most confident and relaxed couples...the ones envied by others. You can see the love when they look at each other! To the person who said flowers are not love...the fact is all wives like little surprise, I was thinking of you gifts. If you did not know he was a swinger you would applaud his thoughtfulness towards his wife!

My relationship is one envied by others. We have been married 20+ years and started swinging 3 years ago. Not often... 4 times in 3 years. We waited until our children had their own lives.  We have no jealousy issues, we trust each other completely, and we genuinely enjoy spending time together. We can and do talk about things that most couples avoid because they feel uncomfortable. We feel a closeness that is hard to describe. He treats me like I am golden.  I am strong, confident, self assured, intelligent, feminine, sexual, proud, honest, genuine, flirtatious, playful, fun, adventurous, talented, happily married, and loved by the one I love! I am a very happy woman!

I am curious about the couples who think swinging is bad for a good relationship but where the reason is other than religion. Are your reasons based on a review of actual facts, personal knowledge or just a negative emotional response? I believe that a lot of the negativity towards your spouse having sex with someone else is just pure jealousy. Would you feel threatened by another woman? Would her looks, talent, imagination, enthusiasm, etc... steal him away? Would he love you less? If any one of those things could happen they will happen anyway! But, it is more likely that those are your issues, your fears and have nothing to do with your husband or your relationship with him. You should be honest with yourself. Your relationship will suffer from jealousy and poor self image, doubt and suspicion so even if swinging is never an option for you at least you won't fear it as you do now. You might come to see swingers as just another way some couples enjoy their free time now and then. Be happy for us because we are very happy!

I think there is something very wrong here. The thought makes me phyically ill. I think that intimacy between a husband and a wife is personal and singular.

Casual sex is a thing these days. I think they call it a 'BOOTY CALL'. People are using each other for their  own personal sexual gratification and no where in that equation is love or caring for the other person. There is no committment. It is sex and sex only.

So what are we teaching the children of today? I think it is that if you don't like what you have at home, just go find it some place else and if you can talk your partner into being there too, that is a bonus.

I am not passing judgement on people who like these types of sexaul activity. But, don't tell me that it is OK because there is no way you will ever convince me of that.

Like you said....GET A DIVORCE OR DON't GET MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If my husband ever suggested anything like that I'd make him wish he hadn't. Some days I'm happy in my marriage, and some days I'm miserable, but I'm so thankful my husband is a good Christian man. He doesn't drink, smoke, gamble, steal, do drugs or even swear. I've seen him miss three hours of work one time in five years from being sick. He goes to work EVERY DAY on time. The only thing he does that even bothers me is he is very, very cheap. I know where that comes from, though - he grew up in Mexico and his father left his mother and it was very hard for them. They don't have welfare in Mexico. He was often hungry as a child.

Today I'm going to count my blessings and thank God for my good husband! What's wrong with these women - NO MAN IS WORTH THIS KIND OF BULL!!!!!

I live in a very upper middle class neighborhood and there are many couples who swing.  Over the past few years I have been shocked to know how many married couples are involved in this kind of activity.

I have mixed emotions about it but I KNOW it is not morally the right thing to do but we have friends who participate.

I'm going to play Devils Advocate here, but I think what people are saying (could be wrong ), is there does come a time when the kids will FIND OUT, then how do you explain it, not the intimate details. I agree with you,a kid should NEVER be DRAGGED into these conversations, agreed this is more about dysfunction then the swingers lifestyle I think.

Many of the people here would probably be SHOCKED right out of the pulpit if they KNEW just who was doing it, its not like people go around pushing it on others (though some will, but that can be said about any group of people who are convinced they are right), most times you wouldn't KNOW, and you know what, NO ONE has the RIGHT to poke their noses into the nation's bedrooms.  As far as being pedophiles or being into beastiality etc.  anyone who says that, probably thinks the same about any group (homosexuals would be an example) that dosen't share their sense of "Morality" or "Normalcy", as for being "Freaks", Swingers are our Teachers, Doctors, lawyers, Houswives and dare I say Ministers, they don't have it tattooed to their foreheads, and from what I've seen, they seek out like minded couples.

It's NOT for me, but that dosent give me the RIGHT to condemn someone for it, but I DO THINK that BOTH partners have to be "ON BOARD" with the idea, if not the marriage will not survive, we aren't talking about leaving the toilet seat up, this is a lifestyle that should NEVER be FORCED onto someone, and if it's  something you are uncomfortable with or it disgusts you, then you should not allow yourself to be coerced or THREATENED into it