Quote From: cfnamierIn short... for people to engage in the swinging lifestyle, it is necessary to stretch boundaries beyond the norm of human conditioning. That's not a guess, it is fact.
I disagree with human conditioning, it may stretch boundaries beyond the norm of your social or religious conditioning, but my human conditioning says I am a sexual being. As a sexual being and I thank God for that, he could have made us like animals , only sexual at certain times or seasons. That is part of being human.
As far as the masturbation statement...
When one engages in sexual gratification with another person whom they do not have an emotional and/or strong physical connection, it quite simply is.... nothing more than the act of using someone else's body for the purposes of masturbation. There is no true intimacy with a stranger, therefore it becomes nothing short of a sexual release.
As swingers we do not swing with other couples we do not know and like. We go to their house or they come to ours and we have dinner, share some jokes, maybe even play some cards. We like the other couple, I like both of them, my wife likes both of them, and they both like both of us because if anyone of us feels uneasy the evening stops right there. We do not swing with anyone who is stressed to be there, why would we? We are there to have fun and sex.
Most people seem to just focus on the sexual interaction, there is true friendship and caring between the couples we play with and us. Most of our close friends, the kind of friends that would help you bury the body type, have started within the context of swinging. We can be more open and honest with them about all that happens in our lives than we can be with "vanilla" friends, they are a lot less judgmental.
Go to any "vanilla" social event and watch the reaction to a sexy lady entering the room, some folks will almost shun her, others will almost drool, neither would happen at a swingers event. She would be allowed to be sexy and who she is.
Vanilla is a term in the swing world to describe non-swingers and I won't go into what "pistachio" means LOL
I disagree with human conditioning, it may stretch boundaries beyond the norm of your social or religious conditioning
Exactly where did I say social or religious conditioning? I said human.
As a sexual being and I thank God for that, he could have made us like animals , only sexual at certain times or seasons. That is part of being human.
Having an isatiable appetite for sexual gratification is an animalistic behavior. It brings one down to an animal like state. When I say insatiable, I mean quite frankly, that your sexual appetitte can not be satisfied by your spouse which is WHY you choose the lifestyle. And for the record, there are many species of animal that mate for life, so your comparison is rudimentary at best. There are however, species of monkey that engage in sexual behaviors for anything but, procreation. Hmm....
We do not swing with anyone who is stressed to be there, why would we? We are there to have fun and sex.
Of course not. You find like minded people who are also sexually insatiable and you feed off of each other's wants.
Most of our close friends, the kind of friends that would help you bury the body type, have started within the context of swinging. We can be more open and honest with them about all that happens in our lives than we can be with "vanilla" friends, they are a lot less judgmental.
So what you're saying is that swingers basically have no boundaries??? Isn't that what I said???
"Help you hide the body types" as opposed to doing the right thing? How could other swingers be judgmental? They are afterall, engaged in the same behaviors as you, correct???
Go to any "vanilla" social event and watch the reaction to a sexy lady entering the room, some folks will almost shun her, others will almost drool, neither would happen at a swingers event. She would be allowed to be sexy and who she is.
This is a highly unlikely scenario for many reasons. Swingers are not lacking in jealousy, envy, or haughtiness. "Vanilla" folks don't have a market on those emotions. I have interviewed hundreds of people in the lifestyle (for a college thesis on human sexuality) and from what I've been told there is an enormous amount of jealousy, pettiness, envy, and separatism based on outward appearances. I mean think about it... would anyones real sexual fantasy involve a rotund, unattractive woman? Or a short, balding, unattractive man? I doubt it based on my research. As a matter of fact, I found that most swingers are either.... middle aged and less than average in appearance or young and totally lacking in maturity and experience. They often times engage in sex with people who they see as below themselves (whether that be physically, intellectually, or fianancially.) This from the horses mouth.
Vanilla is a term in the swing world to describe non-swingers and I won't go into what "pistachio" means LOL
Don't you mean un-evolved? It seems to me that there is a fair amount of judgment from your side as well.
How well do you think you know your neighbors, your friends and even your child's teacher? It is estimated that four to eight million people in North America are swinging in the suburbs -- mostly middle-class folks from all walks of life. Dr. Phil gives you a closer look at who these couples are who engage in sex with other twosomes. First up, Nita and Walter have been swinging for the last 12 years. They say they are happy in the lifestyle, so why does it cause tension in their relationship? Then, Brent says he has a strong yearning for he and his wife, Renee, to participate in a threesome. Renee says the idea disgusts her, but worries that if she refuses to join in, Brent will leave her. They fight constantly, often dragging their 17-year-old son into the middle of their chaos. Brent says he thinks about having threesomes every other day, but says that his desire is normal. What does Dr. Phil think? And, Dr. Phil viewers weigh in and share their thoughts about the swinging lifestyle. Join the discussion.
