Topic : 01/25 Secrets in the Suburbs

Oh I understand, that your view of sex is different from mine. You mean to tell me that sex is spiritual and emotional. Obviously, you have never seen anything different. What happened in the Roman and Greek Empire does not apply to my life in any way shape or form. Please explain to me how the fall of an Empire in ancient history will determine what happends in my life? IF my "empire" were to fall apart, it would not be because of sex, it would be because my husband and I made CHOICES and we made those choices fully understanding the consequenses of those choices.

Sex, yes, is just an act and if you think it is anything different, why don't you spend your time with someone who has been sexually assaulted or with someone who has sexually assaulted another. I am sure they will tell you that sex is not spiritual or emotional, they will tell you it is an act. Because I hear them say it everyday. I am glad that in your "empire" sex is emotional and spiritiual, but not everyone lives in your utopia.

Although, I would like to believe that sex SHOULD be emotional and spiritual, it is not always. When my husband and I have sex, yes it is emotional and spiritual. When we have sex with others, there is no emotional bond there and it is just an act between two people who are mutually attracted to eachother and who happen to effect each other chemically. Since we know that getting aroused is a chemcial reaction and not an emotional or spiritual one. 

Dr. Phil,

  It is amazing that you are always bragging about the amount of research "your people" do on every topic you do on your show,yet in showing a sample of what 4-8 million people do in America...you chose to show two couples(one who were not even really swingers) who were unhappy in the lifestyle.

  You obviously failed to interview the millions of others who are VERY happy doing what we do and.yes.it does work for many people for many years.

  We do understand that it is hard for those not in the lifestyle to understand how we could be happy and how swinging could ,in fact,strengthen a  marriage. Well,my husband and I have been together for 15 years,swinging for 6 of those and we are closer now than we have ever been. Most people can't get past the "intimacy" of the entire thing. When in fact, it is  just sex.

 And in response to your statement to finding something that we may like more out there. ....the more we do this...the more we see how lucky we are to have  each other and that although we play somewhere else every now and then...it always feels so good to know we have the best with each other. It has made us appreciate each other even more.

  We don't expect anyone to accept our way of thinking, but to say that it does not work is just wrong. It does work for many people. Maybe playing tennis every day is not what appeals to me. I don't  judge you for that.

  I am just disappointed that you gave swinging such a skewed view in the eyes of millions of Americans who may have never heard of it.

  I believe you let your personal opinion  get in the way of the facts in this case.

  I watch you every day and was very disappointed that you were not more professional with this subject.

  BTW, I have at least 100 swinger couples who are friends we have made through the years that would say the same thing. Since I am older,,our friends are as well,and most have been swinging a minimum of 5 years....so me as many as 20 years,so it does work.

Very well said. Totally agree. I am married to a wonderful, loving, giving, and committed husband whom I love so much I could never imagine being with someone else other than him. 

Whats so confusing about it. Even if Dr. Phil never did a snow on the topic. I mean anyone with about the same intellect as a gerbal would know what swinging entails.

I mean what did you want Dr. Phil to explain more or talk more about. It's fairly straight forward to the average person what swinging is. Its like an groups of people, that tries to justify having an affair outside the marriage. There's nothing good or sexually arousing about it. Its sad, sick and gross in my eyes. Infact if I ever and I mean ever seen my girlfriend/wife/woman in bed with another man. I'll guarntee anyone who watches the Dr. Phil show, that, that man would be praying for GOD to help him because I promise him no one else will. Swinging or NOT!

NOT! in my view.

PS: How do people like that sleep at night with a sound conscious? How about STD's, diseases?? Regardless if you say its safe, etc. Accidents/things happen!

   You really don't know what your talking about. Those people have just as much if not more self-esteem then YOU DO. Don't be so quick to judge. You sound really old. Are you.

All of these people are using their sexual appetites  as a diversion to everyday life. Their sexual lives seem to be more of a sickness then as something that is healthly. They all seem to have the same look on their faces, lost.  Where ever the mind goes the body follows, so the bottom line is watch your thought life, hand it over to God and keep your mind on things that are pure, lovely and kind.