Topic : 01/25 Secrets in the Suburbs

My best friend and x-sister-in-law was involved in swinging with her second husband.  She was reluctant but was afraid she would loose him so she too went along to please him. After 4 years she was so disgusted and no longer wanted to participate because one of the men HE brought home for her to have sex with (while he filmed the encounter) she fell in love with.

To make a long story short, she is now in Lowell Correctional facility serving a 40 yrs sentence for allegedly conspiring with her son and his friend to  kill her husband. The case never went to trial because of the guilt and shame she felt for her family. She agreed to a plea bargain (no bargain for her) so that her son and his friend would get 25 yrs instead of the death penalty or life. It has never been determined whether her son or his friend pulled the trigger while her husband slept. At the time of the murder she had been admitted to the hospital (approximately five days before) and was no where near her home.  Because money was taken from her husbands wallet she was also charged with robbery as well as conspiracy to commit murder. Her public defender was an easy plea bargainer not defender which saved the State of Florida the expense of a trial.

Sad and a tragic waste of the lives of both families.

Because she never reported abuse to the police and extreme low self esteem, he was able over a period of time to pressure her into conduct that disgusted her.

Swinging evidently can have deadly consequences.

My best friend and x-sister-in-law was involved in swinging with her second husband.  She was reluctant but was afraid she would loose him so she too went along to please him. After 4 years she was so disgusted and no longer wanted to participate because one of the men HE brought home for her to have sex with (while he filmed the encounter) she fell in love with.

To make a long story short, she is now in Lowell Correctional facility serving a 40 yrs sentence for allegedly conspiring with her son and his friend to  kill her husband. The case never went to trial because of the guilt and shame she felt for her family. She agreed to a plea bargain (no bargain for her) so that her son and his friend would get 25 yrs instead of the death penalty or life. It has never been determined whether her son or his friend pulled the trigger while her husband slept. At the time of the murder she had been admitted to the hospital (approximately five days before) and was no where near her home.  Because money was taken from her husbands wallet she was also charged with robbery as well as conspiracy to commit murder. Her public defender was an easy plea bargainer not defender which saved the State of Florida the expense of a trial.

Sad and a tragic waste of the lives of both families.

Because she never reported abuse to the police and extreme low self esteem, he was able over a period of time to pressure her into conduct that disgusted her.

Swinging evidently can have deadly consequences.

Well I consider myself to be very open minded about just about anything and often do things that are outside the box but I must say that i believe in monogomy and this would not be tolerated in my relationship! Great if two concenting adults agree to this life style prior to marriage or a serious relationship but when your husband behaves like a bulldog about something that your not at all comfortable with I believe that you need to tell him to gets help for HIS issue or kick him to the curb! I once had a boyfriend who after a long break up tried to rekindle the died out flame, I was glad to see him and curious as to where his life had taken him and when he told me to the swingers lifestyle I had to tell him that was nice but not part of my core beliefs and that we could not begin dating again. I have not heard from him since. I know that this gal loves her husband but he must recipricate that love in return by showing her the respect she deserves!! Issues of being alone.... first she was an attractive gal but more importantly she has to love and respect herself and love herself enough to be alone if necessary. As for the involvement of the children, that bites! They have no business being involved! Vent to friends not the kids, what kind of example and scaring are they learning from this? To the hubby, if you have fantacies there are lots of ways to act out fantacies and desires that both you and your wife are comfortable with. Respect her and her confort zone if you really love and care for her! Marriage is more then just sex its a commitment of love mutual respect and a deep compassion and caring that I believe goes deeper than the sex! 

I have to admit that I just don't understand how anyone could truly love someone and have sex with someone else.  I am a romantic guy who believes in true love.  After 32 years of monogamous marriage I am hooked on my wife.  The thought of anyone else touching her is very difficult to accept.  I admit that I look at attractive women, but I just don't have the heart to pursue them because I am committed to my wife.

This is something I understand.

John

Thank you for your honesty and I am sorry you had that experience, however maybe you are stronger and a better person for it so don't punish yourself for it but it is sooooooooooooo good to have someone tell the inside guts of it.   I too have had some experiences and lessons I could have done without :) Swinging was not one of them, thank God !

Nohing this perverse could be good.  Humans are just that and can only tolerate so much rejection and competition without reacting, thus the fights, etc.

God bless you through your life.

Even though I think this is a bad idea for any marriage....

and it is taking a big chance....I say if both agree then its their business

Just like the first couple....

As for the second couple...Im just happy Dr Phil did get through to the hubby....

Good show Dr Phil...no complaints from me today!