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Topic : Balancing Work and Family

Number of Replies: 60
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:23:59 am
Author : dataimport
Do you find time for your family away from the pressures or work, or are you struggling to find that balance? Do you feel guilty when you need to take time out for kids or spouse from your job? Share your work/family balancing act with us.

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September 2, 2006, 8:44 am CDT

on the road

 my boyfriend and i both drive a truck. we run coast to coast & are gone for a week to 10 days or more at a time. although we run teams, from time to time we spend several hours sitting, waiting to get loaded. so, i usually go for a walk. or, here recently, i have been riding my bicycle that i take with me. i have always struggled with my weigfht and am very concscience about my weight. i am 46 and am going through menopause and it's not easy getting the weight off or keeping it off. so, i have to work at it. but my boyfriend on the other hand, doesn't care about his appearance, and is just as happy with a box of cheeze-it's and a movie while i do my thing. but recently while we were at home for our home time, he made the remark to a family member (he had been drinking beer at the time) that i think i'm on vacation. because while we are waiting to get loaded, i may run across a nail salon and stop and get my nails done while i'm on the road, or, if i find a gym, i would want to stop. but, none of this is more important than the responsibilities  of my job. i don't put any of my "wants" before my job. i don't think i'm mixing business with pleasure. am i? just because i find things to do outside of trucking when i have some free time. after all, trucking is not my life. but, i love what i do.
 
September 13, 2006, 4:05 pm CDT

Other options

Quote From: rlsangels

Hi, I just saw your post. I am a 46 year old stay-at-home mom of 2 and I also work at home for a company called AmeriPlanUSA. They are awesome to work for. I absolutely love it! I was in the Air Force for 13 years when my husband (who is retired Air Force) and I decided to have kids. So, I got out. As my kids got older, and our finances got worse, my husband had to take a part time job to make ends meet.  I knew I needed to find something to bring in some money so he can quit his part time and be home with us, but I didn't want to leave my kids. So I searched for 2 years for something legit and finally found what I was looking for. My husband helps me with it also and soon he will be able to quit his job and be home with us. And then we both will have a career at home. This is a totally fantastic feeling. I would truly love to help you if you you would like.  That's what I do, is help people and it's such a rewarding feeling.  Take care.    

You are in a difficult situation.  Th emoney is good so you don't want to ask your husband to quit but you are alone.  I have been there.  I too was a military spouse for 20 years.  We moved every 3 years and for a period of time every year and a half.  It took a huge financial toll on us (we lived in 15 homes in 20years).  I say homes becuase I found that it was all in my attitude.  As long as I kept a positive attitude, my children kept a positive attitude.  That made it easier on my husband because it was hard on him as well. 

The post above mine has a good idea.  Perhaps if you find an activity to get involved in such as a craft or a work at home job, it will help you (by speaking with adults on the phone)

There is an excellent website started by a retired military chief called workathomecolorado.com and it has lists of legitimate work at home jobs.  Check it out and see if there is somethign there you might be interested in.

 

 
October 27, 2006, 5:43 am CDT

am I running

 my wife and I both work full time and have a 6 mo old son that is the light of our world. this is the rub my wife and I dont make enught money to pay our bill every month. before we had daycare cost it was not a problem and my wife want to spend more time with our son, so right now we are looking in to me going back in to the military with all the benifites there in and right now this is a draw back, but we have talk about that too. well my heart tell me that this is right for me to do for my family, but my head keep asking me if this is me running away from hard work in corprate america with I dont want to do anyway the corpate  america. or keep the job I have alread and not make enught money and see my wife unhappy going to work every day not being able to stay home with him, I know If I rejoin I will miss him too, but I know I would be providing my wife and son a good life and it would cost me is time away from them, so am I running?
 
November 6, 2006, 11:16 am CST

night jobs

my husband works for a company known for its layoffs. they just found out that they are going to be selling his section to an outsiede source. we dont know when it will happen, but he wants to start working nights again, aso he know he will have a job in the future. he already doesnt help with the kids. we have a 3 year old girl and 6 month old boy. he doesnt help with the house either. so now i am going to be by myself from 3 in the afternoon to about 3-4 in the morning. then he is going to be slepeping until about 2 in the afternoon. is it wrong for me to be upset that now i wont get any help at all, and that i dont want him to wrok nights because then when he is home sleeping the kids are going to have to be quite, like my daughter used to have to. we always had to leave the house when we got up in the mornings so he could sleep. it is not that easy with 2 kids and nowhere to go during the day. i am crying right now cause he got mad at me for saying that i didnt want him to work nights. i dont think i am being selfish, but he hung up on me when he called to ask for my oppinion. someone please write me back and help me decide what i should do.
 
November 6, 2006, 11:19 am CST

Balancing Work and Family

Quote From: navywifetoo

You are in a difficult situation.  Th emoney is good so you don't want to ask your husband to quit but you are alone.  I have been there.  I too was a military spouse for 20 years.  We moved every 3 years and for a period of time every year and a half.  It took a huge financial toll on us (we lived in 15 homes in 20years).  I say homes becuase I found that it was all in my attitude.  As long as I kept a positive attitude, my children kept a positive attitude.  That made it easier on my husband because it was hard on him as well. 

The post above mine has a good idea.  Perhaps if you find an activity to get involved in such as a craft or a work at home job, it will help you (by speaking with adults on the phone)

There is an excellent website started by a retired military chief called workathomecolorado.com and it has lists of legitimate work at home jobs.  Check it out and see if there is somethign there you might be interested in.

 

what is ameriplan usa and can you tell me how to get info on it? please cause i could use something to help out. just in case nothing works out for my hubby at work. thank you !!
 
November 6, 2006, 11:38 am CST

Balancing Work and Family

Quote From: jadeycole

what is ameriplan usa and can you tell me how to get info on it? please cause i could use something to help out. just in case nothing works out for my hubby at work. thank you !!
it is realy not about making more money as it is getting some time to myself. i am a certified phlebotominst and there are no jobs in my area at all. i would rather do that. i just know how it was when he worked nights and how hard it was on me and our daughter. she didnt want ot go to sleep cause daddy wasnt there to tell her good night. i just dont want my kids to have to go through that again. it is hard to see your daughter cry cause she didnt get to give her daddy a kiss when she was ready for bed. we have been getting along better lately too, and i am scared that the stress of him working nights will cause every thing to get out of wack again. thanks for relplying. i will try that website as soon as i can. again thank you so much, and i am sorry if i sound horrible for not wanting him to work all night.
 
November 8, 2006, 7:48 am CST

hang in there!

Quote From: kgoetsch

My husband works for a company that has jobsites in a 400 mile radius of our home. I am a young SAHM to a 5 and 4 yr. old and a 2 week old. He also has 2 kids ages 3 and 7 who are here 50 % of the time......I am new to this town and know NO ONE and have only one relative who lives 1800 miles away. I have suffered from Depression since age 12 and after treating it 2 years ago and feeling good enough to go off my meds.....I now know it's time to go back on them. 

My husbands company keeps him out 2-3 weeks and home 3-4 days.....not a ratio of time conducive to having a new marriage, new baby, depressed/lonely wife and blended family. He is supposed to get 24 hours minimum notice when he's being sent to another job.....this NEVER happens, he gets 2-3 hours notice to "pack up and head to ____ " and doesn't know if he'll be at that jobsite for 2 days, 2 weeks, or.......???  They don't tell him when he is set to come back home until the day before they send him home!!! So when he leaves I don't even know how long til he comes back!!! 

My question is:  Do I make him quit?  (almost impossible to do because he makes GOOD money and we live in a rural depressed economy in Oklahoma and his previous job was the best in the area at $7 an hour, he now makes about 5 times that so quitting kinda sorta isn't an option) 

or do I put up with it and slowly lose my mind, thus ruining a marriage I VERY MUCH want to last??? 

Someone give advice!! My head hurts from playing Devil/Angel and weighing all this in my head on top of carrying EVERYTHING at home including kids, finances, chores, his nasty ex-wife (long story regarding her mouth and his poor kids hearing too much bad stuff about their Daddy) and trying to recover from a C-section I had only 12 days ago!!  Yes he is off on a job right now (left 2 days after baby was born) 

  

Thanks! 

  

P.S. Just to clarify also, I am not religious so joining Church groups not an option (someone suggested this to me) and my town is about 3000 people with nearest town 45 min. away......clubs or volunteering kind of hard too. 

Just gets better and better don't it?!  LOL 

i am from a small town in oklahoma, maybe even close by. my hubby works for halliburton, i know i said that they have layoffs but they havent had one in a long time, they are getting rid of my hubby's section soon but there are other places to go for the good workers. they just hired some guys that had no expierience and trained them, they started out making about $15 an hour. they have good insurance. and i mean GOOD insurance. it might not be as much pay but it is something to start with. my hubby has been there for over 5 years. he loves it and the guys there are great. maybe your hubby should try. just a thought. anyways hope you have luck in everything. i unsderstand how it is to have young children. i only have 2 though. a girl that is 3 and a boy that is 6 months. if you need anything aor just to talk i am here for you.
 
November 17, 2006, 5:40 am CST

were is the line

I am going back in to the Army after a 6 yrs gap in service, but this time I hole new out look on it. Now I am marryed, and have a 7 mo old son. I will do anything for the both of them I love them so much. I was in the active army for 6.5 yrs before I got out, and then there was no way I was going to make a career out of it no way. well now I see it well it only 14ys tell I can retire that is nothing right only a little bit over 4000 days( not that I conted):). I am going back in as a Sgt. (E-5) and in 14 yrs there is no reason why I cant move up two pay grades, but my major worrie about this is were do i draw the line between moving up in rank so that I can make more money for my family, and spending time with the family. I want to give my wife, son and what ever other children may come long a good life one were dont need to worry about  money, I dont want to miss anything working to give it to them? I know that I will have to miss some thing, but were do I draw that line between my career and family. I dont know. I need a little help here. I know it may be a cross the bridge when we come to it, and a talk to my wife issue as well we have talked a little bit, but I dont think she know who much is involed and I cant remmber how much time is involded to tell her. I know she will suport me in this. I want to do it for her so that she can stay home with the kids and not have to work. I just dont want to her to hate me for working to get ahead for our family that I didnt spend anytime with her and the family. May be I need to write out some goals and work to reach them, and share them with her. I will do anything for them I dont care what toll it take on me, I just want to be in there life as more them just a pay check. I need help!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
 
December 3, 2006, 7:00 am CST

Family or money, How do you learn the basic

I am a 40 yr old female who has been married 17yrs. ( Together 21yrs).  He is a wonderful husband but was raised by a marine father and a mother who stayed home.  We agreed that after the kids where in school full time I could return to work.  Well at first it was ok when he worked day time hrs.  The last 5yrs he had to take a night shift position & he leaves for work each yr earlier & earlier now at 6:15pm each night.  He works for a national trucking company. Home & Off on the weekend, but works 50 to 60 hrs a wk.  When he is not at work he is sleeping.  His only son has suffered.  They to me have an unhealthy relationship ( he is 15yrs old)  His son feels like dad " Hasn't been here no need to start now"  They argue over anything and his son yes at time does disrepect his father.  I intervine because my husband get so angry with him I am afraid he will hurt him physically so they usually do talk much to each other.  My husband does try to keep the lines of communication open.  My son just one word answer him.  Oh yea my son also acts at times metro-- It driveshis father up the wall and no he doesn't play sports but he did join JROTC.   My husband health has suffered.  He went from a well fit army man to a beer belly yet still muscluar looking football player. (legs and arms very hulk looking).  He has high blood pressure, sleep apnea-bad and all he does is sleep, eat and go to work.  This for a man who loves cars, car shows and use to exercise daily.    I have taken and quit so many jobs for the sake of him and the kids I lost count.  Some of my jobs had great futures, but when he need me home because "we don't see enough of each other" or " I miss you"  I felt he made enough money or "money isn't everything"  I would just stay home.  Our oldest daughter graduates this yr "2007" and we have a 9th grader.  We are late on most if not all bills and Our credit after years of struggling to clean it up, no sucks again.  Our car note are more than our mortgage.  "He loves cars".  I no longer want to work. Why?  we need the money for now.  (Like a quick fix).  To answer why- I no I am need at home with the kids and he leaves so early that I can't get home in time to get him out the door with a good home cooked meal, his lunch packed and the house clean.  Oh did I say he maked $70,000.00 so far this year.   This does not include my income from varies jobs.  Neither one of us was taught about credit or money and as you can see we don't have a clue how to save or keep any.    As   Dr. Phil said, " Get back to the basic"  How do we do this and stay with in our means.  Do I go back to work and get caught up it the quick fix?  Does he give up night shift?  Oh, his company day time hrs do not guartenee 40hrs a wk.   Which mean we would have a drastic decrease in family income.  I would gladly go back to work if he went back to dayshift hours.

 

Help any suggestion for the rat race of life?     Am I wrong for not wanting to work anymore?  Who else has to suffer trying to do the right thing?

 
January 11, 2007, 6:41 pm CST

New Mom

 I am a new mother of identical twin boys.  They were born June 15, 2006 at only 26 weeks.  After being in the NICU for 91 days, we finally brought them home.  While they were in the hospital my company set me up to work from home at my request.  I wanted to be able to go to them and spend as much time as I wanted to whenever I wanted.  Once the boys came home I used the rest of my FMLA to totally focus on them.  While on FMLA the company went under and closed the doors.  Not that I had time to work much but at least it was there as a back-up.  I am desperately trying to find something I can do from home to make a little extra income so I can continue to stay at home.  There are so many scams out there you really don't know what to believe.  If anyone has any information on a legit work from home program I would greatly appreciate it.   
 
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