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Topic : 06/10 Deadly Kids

Number of Replies: 247
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Created on : Friday, October 12, 2007, 02:54:58 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 10/18/07) What if you feared your own child? Dr. Phil's guests say they worry that one day they may die at the hands of their offspring. Steven and Tori say Steven's 9-year-old son, Donovan, poisoned his siblings and then laced Tori's drink with aquarium cleaner. They say he laughed after his family members went to the hospital and has not shown remorse for his sinister acts. He's now in a treatment facility, but should Tori and Steven allow him back into their home once he's released? Then, Susie narrowly escaped death after her stepson tried to brutally kill her with a gun and then a knife. He's now behind bars, so why does she fear he will try to finish the job? And, Carrie and Lance fear their son, Michael, will be the next shocking murder headline. They say he threatened to cut his teacher's eyes out with a knife and kill his younger sister. When Michael becomes enraged, Carrie locks herself in the bedroom for fear of what he might do. Find out what Dr. Phil cameras caught on tape while at Carrie and Lance's house. And, why do the parents feel their son's behavior is influencing their daughter? What does Dr. Phil think is at the root of Michael's rage? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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October 18, 2007, 1:16 pm CDT

I feel their pain

 My son is 8 years old and he acts just like the last child. We have been in and out of doctors offices, some of the best in the country. He has acted like that ever since he was born. We also have an older daughter who gets a lot of his abuse. He's had doctor's say he has PDD, and mood disorders. We tired everything from med.'s, therapy, punishments, and even reward charts. It seems like everything makes it worse. He does not act like this in school so that confuses everyone, although he did act horrible in Disney world only months ago. He has hit everyone in our family (extended and all), he just keeps getting worse he has threaten to kill himself, me (his mother), my cats. Some days he's a sweet very caring boy, even for a month at a time then when he's bad he's bad. My heart does out to everyone especially the husbands and wives, it takes a lot out of a marriage. You can't say anything until you walk a mile in someone's else's shoes. I have and currently am, so I know the pain. I've also hit a dead end because my husband and I are caught between our 10 year old daughter and him. What to do, when is to much to much for her to take and she starts to date men that treat her like her brother does? what more can we do, no one helps you even when you're begging for it. Just stay strong and try your best, but please don't speak our judge until you've walked a mile in our shoes.

 
October 18, 2007, 1:32 pm CDT

growing up

Watching today's show brought back some very painful memories of my youngest brother, Mike.  I am the oldest of four children, Mike is the third born.  He always had problems from around age 2, when he used to violently bang his head against walls.  He was put on various medications and he saw many therapists.  It was determined around age 8 that he had a learning disability and he had the mental capacity of someone several years younger. 

He was put into special ed in a school system full of teachers that were not engaged.  His classmates were also very troubled and would beat the living heck out of him regularly.  When those students were suspended, they would wait for him at the bus stop.  We generally had no idea this was going on, unless he had bruises.  

When Mike started high school, things got out of control.  He would have daily screaming matches with our parents.  There were evenings when my dad was still at work and someone in the family would look at him the wrong way and he would snap.  He got this crazed look in his eyes - as if it wasn't even him anymore.  His face would get distorted and strained.  He would then attack us.  I have been hit over the head with remote controls, shoes, whatever was within reach, really.  He would scream threats to all of us.   After the first attack we would have to restrain him.  As he got older, this became more difficult.  We would have to call neighbours to hold him down and eventually the police to intervene.  This was a very scary time for us.  I could imagine him reaching for the knife drawer or even coming after us in our sleep.  He would have regular sessions with therapists, but it didn't seem to help.  He was as miserable and violent as ever. 

 

Then something amazing happened.  Mike finished high school and got a job working with our father.

 

He is now fun to be around!  He is generally happy!  He can take a joke!  He is thoughtful and loving!  I am proud of him!

 

The old Mike that would snap at the drop of a hat is gone.  There are no more threats and no more violence.

 

There is hope. 

 

 
October 18, 2007, 1:36 pm CDT

10/18 Deadly Kids

Art therapy might help. NOT pet therapy. They'll probably try to torment or poison the pet for attention next.

What they need is some kind of purpose. Something that they enjoy, feel worth and keeps them focused. They need to channel their intense emotional and physical energy into something valuable. Figure out what interests them, keep the atmosphere calm and relaxed. It doesn't help when they are feeding off the energy that surrounds them. If it's too calm and boring, they'll go nuts. Find a balance. Eat healthy, plenty of exercise. Get them out doing plenty of activity, mental challenges as well as physical. Try tennis, enrole them on a tennis course. Get them involved in sports. Find out what they are good at.

If there's nothing they are good at and you are at a loss, then send them to boot camp.

 
October 18, 2007, 1:39 pm CDT

Just a child doesnt matter

I know these deadly kids are just children, but that doesnt matter. If i was married to a man whose child, my stepson or stpedaughter , had tried to poison me or my children, I would get out,.i would leave the marriage and not give it a second thought. Taking a chance on staying and maybe having someone die is never worth trying to salvage a relationship with a spouse. If a mans child did something like his to me or my children, i would take  the criminal actions of the child as a sign from God for me to get out of the marriage. I hope Dr Phil doesnt give anyone the foolish advice of trying to stay in a marriage where this crap is going on, This would be like telling a abused woman (or man)  to try to make it work with their abuser, Just get out. If this was my own kid trying to kill me. I dont know what i would do, That is ten times harder when it is your own kid harming you, I would have that kid in therapy his entire life.
 
October 18, 2007, 1:51 pm CDT

Angry boys

It saddens me to see these boys who are so angry and acting out their emotions on the people around them.  It seems to me that they have learned these behaviors -- from their parents or some other adult/authority figure in their lives.  How painful it must be for them, too.  They feel rejected when they feel angry and express themselves -- and then they get rejected again.  These boys need to be taught how to deal with their emotions and express them in a  healthy way.
 
October 18, 2007, 1:52 pm CDT

I think

I have been to two mental hospitals for my bipolar disorder i have never taken anything that far. Has any one ever thought that he is jelous or feels left out because of there siblings because if you look at the situations they all went after there brothers/sisters first. Also, to tell your kid you are scared of them could hurt them. If it was me i would look for someone who has delt with this befor send them to that place and have them talk because more then likely if they find someone they can bond with they will say why they did what they did even though they are little you need to find there weak spot and talk to them til they tell you dont rush them but make sure they tell you and make sure they dont lie. When I went to the hospitals it took me awhile to say what was bothering me but i got to it and felt so much better after. Also sometimes when they say they didnt they may not remeber it they may have it set to in there mind that they didnt do they could have told them self on the way home they where going to tell you they didnt do it so that they wouldnt get in troubl the brain is a tricky thing. Im just saying you need to sit them down with a professional in the room and talk to them and see what is wrong what made them act this way they may be kids but there is something going on in there life that is bothering and there botteling it all up until they explode and then they let it all out. We let things out and do things to our family because we know they love us and always will no matter what we do. That is my opinion.
 
October 18, 2007, 1:54 pm CDT

I think

I have been to two mental hospitals for my bipolar disorder i have
never taken anything that far. Has any one ever thought that he is
jelous or feels left out because of there siblings because if you look
at the situations they all went after there brothers/sisters first.
Also, to tell your kid you are scared of them could hurt them. If it
was me i would look for someone who has delt with this befor send them
to that place and have them talk because more then likely if they find
someone they can bond with they will say why they did what they did
even though they are little you need to find there weak spot and talk
to them til they tell you dont rush them but make sure they tell you
and make sure they dont lie. When I went to the hospitals it took me
awhile to say what was bothering me but i got to it and felt so much
better after. Also sometimes when they say they didnt they may not
remeber it they may have it set to in there mind that they didnt do
they could have told them self on the way home they where going to tell
you they didnt do it so that they wouldnt get in troubl the brain is a
tricky thing. Im just saying you need to sit them down with a
professional in the room and talk to them and see what is wrong what
made them act this way they may be kids but there is something going on
in there life that is bothering and there botteling it all up until
they explode and then they let it all out. We let things out and do
things to our family because we know they love us and always will no
matter what we do. That is my opinion. 
 
October 18, 2007, 1:58 pm CDT

Can you stop them if they really want to heart you.

This is a very hard thing to understand and to know what the right thing is.  I don't think that I would let a violent kid back in my home if I had other kids to protect. 

I E-Mailed your show before about my stepson Joe. 

He has done so much stuff to me from letting me catch him masturbating to stealing my panties and using them as his sex toys.

To letting me know he is doing thing to heart me in every way he can. 

He is 18yrs old now and we just kicked him out of the house

We found out that Joe has been telling lies about us to everyone he meets.
He said my husband beat him with a broom, and that I beat him with a bat in the head.
That we have drug in our home.  That we stoled all his money from him.
He's telling people that he's in a gang and that his brother Cody was killed by a drive by shooting.

Cody lives with his dad in TN.
Joe has a burn mark on his arm and he's saying that he was shot in the arm.
His Ex girlfriend was killed when he was running from the polices and rolled the car.

( He never out run the police )
That his mom in NY beat him everyday when he lived with her.
That his uncle Tommy is in a gang and was out to kill him. ( He has no uncle Tommy )
I can go on and on about the lies that he's told people.
We went to see Joe last night to gave him his truck.
Then Mark told him, the Joe who is like that is died to him.
Joe just stood there then walked off like he didn't care, while Mark was standing there crying.
Mark is just devastated over all the stuff Joe has said and done.
We found out someone was going around town shooting out Windows with a BB gun. And Joe stoled his brothers BB gun. The police have a 500.00 dollar reword out on this person. So we did talk to the police about this.  How can he steal from his brother when he's in Iraq.
We are so scared that he's going to tell these lies to the wrong parson.  And someone may came to are home looking for drug that aren't here. And we may be heart by them. 

Are we wrong by wanting to put him out of our life.

Connie

 
October 18, 2007, 2:10 pm CDT

Experience with dangerous child

It is easy for people to give advice when they have no clue and have never had to deal with a child that is dangerous.  My 10 year old son is now living out of my home because of his behaviors.  I have a younger daughter that is 6 years old and was in serious danger.  My son had tried to kill her several times and has been in therapy since he was 4 years old.  I woke up to my bed on fire and he has told me several times that he will kill me when he gets old enough to get a gun and I do believe that he will.  It was a difficult choice that I had to make and hope no parent has to make.  I had to chose if I wanted to keep my son in my home and if I did I knew that he would kill my daughter.  I understand fully what these parents are going through and my thoughts and prayers are with them all.  My son has gone through more testings and evaluations and they keep coming up with something new everytime he has one.  His latest diagnosis was that he had Aspergers Syndrome which I really don't agree with.  I think he truely is pshycotic and as his mother it kills me to have to say that, but I can see him in prison for murder whether it be me or a stranger that he kills.
 
October 18, 2007, 2:13 pm CDT

Been There

It is nice to hear what people have to say. But the only people that could understand, is people that have experienced this. My wife and I have been there. Advice from those without experience, hurts more, because you cannot possibly think of something that loving parents havent tried. Access to the proper programs, and law changes are what is needed. Does everybody realize that in most areas of North America, you cannot MAKE a child pass the age of 14 go to therapy?
 
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