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Topic : 06/10 Deadly Kids

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Created on : Friday, October 12, 2007, 02:54:58 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 10/18/07) What if you feared your own child? Dr. Phil's guests say they worry that one day they may die at the hands of their offspring. Steven and Tori say Steven's 9-year-old son, Donovan, poisoned his siblings and then laced Tori's drink with aquarium cleaner. They say he laughed after his family members went to the hospital and has not shown remorse for his sinister acts. He's now in a treatment facility, but should Tori and Steven allow him back into their home once he's released? Then, Susie narrowly escaped death after her stepson tried to brutally kill her with a gun and then a knife. He's now behind bars, so why does she fear he will try to finish the job? And, Carrie and Lance fear their son, Michael, will be the next shocking murder headline. They say he threatened to cut his teacher's eyes out with a knife and kill his younger sister. When Michael becomes enraged, Carrie locks herself in the bedroom for fear of what he might do. Find out what Dr. Phil cameras caught on tape while at Carrie and Lance's house. And, why do the parents feel their son's behavior is influencing their daughter? What does Dr. Phil think is at the root of Michael's rage? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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June 17, 2008, 8:29 pm CDT

06/10 Deadly Kids

Quote From: roaringredhead

Donovan's just a kid.  O.K. a kid that has made some scary adult choices, but still a kid.  We as a society cannot lock Donovan up forever.  Obviously, this is a complicated matter...with many variables.  I do believe that every child discussed on the show needs intense psychological and medical attention.  It could be metal poisoning, or severe psychological issues manifesting with rage and emotion. 

 

If Donovan was my child, I wouldn't throw him away in some dark room.  I would take the help Dr. Phil is providing.  I would even request that Donovan be given mild sedatives during the day and sleeping pills at night.  Sensors and locked doors can only do so much.  If a child is that violent to him/herself and/or the family then they must be sedated.  The only other option is to put the child in an institution, or what you refer to as a lock down facility. 

 

I would also research how other countries (e.g. Sweden, France, Denmark, Spain, England, etc...) deal with violent behavior in children.  Most countries do not simply put their children in a dark room and throw away the key. 

ummmmmm- Donovan is not "just" a kid that made some "scary" adult choices. And I would beg to differ that these decision were 'adult' more like......deadly.

 

I am sure if he was your child you would probably be exhausted and at your whits end. There is only so much you stand and cope with and try to help with when someone wants to hurt you and your family. I'm just saying everyone has their breaking point.

 

Unfortunately....or rather fortunately there are many people that do not have to walk in their shoes and to deal with all this.

 

at the end of the day what do you really do? sedate him so heavily that you just disable him is the same as locking him away. but by locking him away you'd be safer.

 
June 19, 2008, 3:07 pm CDT

Why don't Doctors Listen?

I have a 12 year old son that is just the nicest kid you could meet. Then just the littlest things can make him snap and be angry and hateful. He can be abusive, but mainly to himself. Yesterday 3 kids just playing around threw three eggs at my house and my son just flipped. After telling him that it was just eggs and it didn't hurt anything or anyone, he wouldn't let it go. After trying to calm him down, -making him worse- I sent him to his room. (Checking on him frequently). Things kept escalading and I couldn't leave him with his 18 year old sister, because that would probably end up with the police and someone hurt,  I found him under the bed trying to strangle himself with his hands. Yes I know he would have just passed out, but what kind of mom would just let that happen? My son is now 2 and half hours away from me in Royal Oaks Hospital. The doctors refuse to do any brain activity research, nor will they listen to me about what I know. I am Bi-Polar, with massive anxiety and Major depession. PTSD also. Dr. Phil when Levi was a baby, he was born with RSV and couldn't breathe on his own for at least 1 to 2 weeks  on his own. He used to throw his head straight back onto what ever floor he was around when he got mad, and at the age of 5 started throwing things. Not just little things. Dr. Phil, I am feeling like I have failed as a mother, but know it's NOT me. can you PLEASE help me. I can't get any cooperation with the doctors here in Columbia, Mo. All they want to do is put him on pills, and blame me. I know deep down inside that there is more to this then what the doctors here want to deal with. I know that my past has alot to do with some of the anger. But I am one of the REAL moms that is willing to except that. PLEASE HELP ME>
 
June 23, 2008, 10:21 pm CDT

Lawlis Peavey PNP Center

Quote From: corina13

I have a 12 year old son that is just the nicest kid you could meet. Then just the littlest things can make him snap and be angry and hateful. He can be abusive, but mainly to himself. Yesterday 3 kids just playing around threw three eggs at my house and my son just flipped. After telling him that it was just eggs and it didn't hurt anything or anyone, he wouldn't let it go. After trying to calm him down, -making him worse- I sent him to his room. (Checking on him frequently). Things kept escalading and I couldn't leave him with his 18 year old sister, because that would probably end up with the police and someone hurt,  I found him under the bed trying to strangle himself with his hands. Yes I know he would have just passed out, but what kind of mom would just let that happen? My son is now 2 and half hours away from me in Royal Oaks Hospital. The doctors refuse to do any brain activity research, nor will they listen to me about what I know. I am Bi-Polar, with massive anxiety and Major depession. PTSD also. Dr. Phil when Levi was a baby, he was born with RSV and couldn't breathe on his own for at least 1 to 2 weeks  on his own. He used to throw his head straight back onto what ever floor he was around when he got mad, and at the age of 5 started throwing things. Not just little things. Dr. Phil, I am feeling like I have failed as a mother, but know it's NOT me. can you PLEASE help me. I can't get any cooperation with the doctors here in Columbia, Mo. All they want to do is put him on pills, and blame me. I know deep down inside that there is more to this then what the doctors here want to deal with. I know that my past has alot to do with some of the anger. But I am one of the REAL moms that is willing to except that. PLEASE HELP ME>
    Is there anyone out there that has had a personal  experience with the above?    I am in desperate need of some help.              
 
June 26, 2008, 3:37 pm CDT

06/10 Deadly Kids

Quote From: corina13

I have a 12 year old son that is just the nicest kid you could meet. Then just the littlest things can make him snap and be angry and hateful. He can be abusive, but mainly to himself. Yesterday 3 kids just playing around threw three eggs at my house and my son just flipped. After telling him that it was just eggs and it didn't hurt anything or anyone, he wouldn't let it go. After trying to calm him down, -making him worse- I sent him to his room. (Checking on him frequently). Things kept escalading and I couldn't leave him with his 18 year old sister, because that would probably end up with the police and someone hurt,  I found him under the bed trying to strangle himself with his hands. Yes I know he would have just passed out, but what kind of mom would just let that happen? My son is now 2 and half hours away from me in Royal Oaks Hospital. The doctors refuse to do any brain activity research, nor will they listen to me about what I know. I am Bi-Polar, with massive anxiety and Major depession. PTSD also. Dr. Phil when Levi was a baby, he was born with RSV and couldn't breathe on his own for at least 1 to 2 weeks  on his own. He used to throw his head straight back onto what ever floor he was around when he got mad, and at the age of 5 started throwing things. Not just little things. Dr. Phil, I am feeling like I have failed as a mother, but know it's NOT me. can you PLEASE help me. I can't get any cooperation with the doctors here in Columbia, Mo. All they want to do is put him on pills, and blame me. I know deep down inside that there is more to this then what the doctors here want to deal with. I know that my past has alot to do with some of the anger. But I am one of the REAL moms that is willing to except that. PLEASE HELP ME>

            I grew up  in a household where people that were sooo charismatic and fun to be around but when they snapped they SNAPPED... and being the youngest being able to watch everyone rise and fall w/ age I realized even at old age the parents need to make a stand... my mom had to finally stop giving in and not being consistent even w/ my brother in his 20's. Unfortunately she left her ex-husband and till the end his mom stood behind him though his form of disipline was how a strong 4 yr old would handle a situation.  He is now in-and-out of rehab... i wander if she holds him responsible now...  I also think the biggest mistake you can make is to FEELING GUILTY and allowing that to affect your consistency and how you discipline him... everyone makes mistakes just apologize for whatever it is but stay head strong because regardless of whats going on your still the mom not him. 

             Also my brother is bi-polar and in a hospital he was finally forced to listen and stop being violent as his only way to handle things... he pulled a knife on my husband step dad and mom after i went to work... the next time he stayed at my moms he attacked her husband until he ran out the house i stood up and told him to just fight me and he didn't touch me they took him to the hospital now when he gets out hes coming to stay with me.

            And about your son and the egg throwing incident my brother would have reacted like that he's a little man and that hurt his pride teach him that it's okay to be a little vulnerable and passive sometimes and that he doesn't have to fight back to be a man it takes a REAL man to let it go. My brother was not taught that. And also let him talk without disagreeing... just listen... when we do that with my brother (by the way it took FOREVER for us big mouths to do) it always works the best. He shouldn't feel like he's a horrible person for feeling certain ways... just teach him.

 
June 28, 2008, 5:46 pm CDT

06/10 Deadly Kids

watching this episode made me cry... my daughter is very hateful/spiteful.  she tells me she will kill me while i sleep.(mind u i do EVERYTHING 4 her) one night abt 2 am i woke up 2 her standig over our bed!!  she now has a alarm on her baby gate to let me know when she leaves her room..  she has had several issues during school.. i ask for help no one in my town will help they pass her back & forth..  one agency says that is a developmental thing the other that is mental.  so since 3 yrs old i have dealt with her hurting myself & her sister as well as children at school.  she is 11 now & is not getting any smaller.  i feel for the families on that show. i have chosen 2 keep my daughter..  but for how long i have no idea??   i am scared one day the wrong person is gonna make her mad & she will explode..
 
October 15, 2008, 7:27 pm CDT

06/10 Deadly Kids

Quote From: tinkerbell1213

Art therapy and intense therapy I'd think so...but NO way would I let this a child with rage issues have a pet, nor take care of a pet.  They have no empathy for one thing and to subject an innocent animal to this would be wrong. I would fear for the animal's safety and/or life.  These children, unfortunately need to get their own selves under control before they can be around ANY pets.

My husbands daughter has pets and that didnt stop her from stabbing the dog.  I wont have her in our house for fear she would snap and harm me or our animals.
 
October 15, 2008, 8:34 pm CDT

I know its hard

Quote From: shawnylou

My lil 8 year old boy has the best smile on earth and the most precious face. He has been talking steadily since he was born making all sorts of sounds and babble ,he has the imagination of a future author to be and can go to any world in his mind. His large motor skills are beyong those of his age, his small motor skills are behind by at least 2-3 years and he is just starting to learn to read. He has just learned to hold a pencil.

This is his DX: He is BI-POLAR, Attachment disorder, ODD, and possibly early on-set shizophrenia. Is there a possibility if border line autism? Maybe. He has a high IQ and is cunning.

He has serious asthma and is on madications for that is advair, albuteral zyrtac and a nose spray nasennex.[ he has a nebulizer when things get too bad  In psychiatric meds, he has lamictal ,clonidine  Seroquel and when he gets so violent he will kill you and anyone he comes in contact with, we do GIVE HIM ketamine *K*  as the physicians call this hard medication. He is alergic to everything as  is his brother. he is an active kid and loves the outdoors and bike and rides and runs around and screams and plays harder than most. His older brother age 13 is not violent and is calm and .

The 8 year old is in a special school with a room if he acts up that is padded for the school staff to put him into so he does not hurt himself or anyone else.

Remember he is a precious child when not inflamed with hate and anger fear.

he has beat me and kicked me so hard I had bruises on my legs for weeks and at times I am scared to pieces of him. I am unable to take him to church because of his un-predictability and he would scare the lil ones to pieces. He has hardly any friends in the neighborhood. He never has anyone show up to his birthday party. He will fight just about anyone and threaten them with their lives.

My husband and I cannot leave him with a regular sitter, we have to have professioanl sitters who know how to handle this kid and NOT hurt him and know how to restrain him accordingly.  WE had CPS called on us at a lab one time because we had to restrain him for a blood draw and the lab tecnician refised to draw blood from the child because he was afraid of the child and so I threatened his job and he came back at me. CPS came in and knew about the child and said " Oh this lil guy"  I get the bruises and the child is fine. For all blood draws now they sedate him. For teeth fillings they use anesthesia and for me they use " Oh honey we admire you" really?

I /we do not want to lose this child and we struggle daily to weekly to hold on tight to this human being who we know can turn out to be a bit different in many ways. he is very VERY violent and yet he can be a pussy cat too. We do not keep any guns in the house, we would be dead by now and knives are carefully maintained. We have 4 cats and one dog. When he gets angry we have taught him if he hurts an animal we call the police. We have called the police on hurting humans and have had to call them when he refused to take his meds when he tore the hosue apart from one end to the next. A piece of dust set him off. CPS is now looking into respite care for my husband and I so we can go out once a month.. maybe. I trust no one with him , he is hard to handle and if he got hurt I would come apart. OR for that matter if anyone else got hurt I would come apart.. hell this is hard...

Hi there, I felt like I was reading my own story, when I read yours. Keep being strong mate, yes I'm from down under and I'm hopeing things are differant there than they where for me/us here. My little fella is 23 now he tried to kill me while I was sleeping when he was 7, but my hubby woke up and caught him, I think he went to school may-be 6mths in his life if I was to add it all together. When he was 9 i handed him over to the state, because we had three other kids and he would threaten to kill them while they/we where sleeping, but they begged me to take him back  after only three weeks, it was a nice break and the bonding time with the rest of the family was priceless. i was tired of friends and family saying "give him to me for a week I sort him" usually it was about 3 hours and he had sorted them. I would cop abuse from neibours, family, teachers and just about any one that met him. He would get so violent, I MEAN SO VIOLENT with me because I never let him out of my sight and as soon as he would go to hurt someone I was there so I would cop it, I'd like a dollar for every bruise (you know what I mean) He would distroy the house over and over tiping furniture over kicking and punching holes in doors and walls.There was no help for us at all here because of how young he was, I took him to a team of phsyc's for assesment and recieved a phone call he told me that this call was off record and if I spoke about it he wouldn't admit to it, he told me my son would allways be one step forward six steps back and I needed to make a choice now to keep him or not, he said I'm sorry but by the time he's 18 he will be in jail or dead. So I decided to do it my way, Mardy wasn't "normal" so all "normal" parenting went out the window, to me then and now my son seemed to be suffering what we call in my house fear, fear of every thing, over the top fear, eg: One year ago I brought him a caravan and set it all up for him with big screen T.V, sony ect but when I told him he went off threating to burn the house down with us in it, saying he hated us and was going to kill us, but I stood my ground like I have since he was young and kept telling him how much we loved him and how I couldnt wait to come to his place for a cuppa, and how much his dog would love to sleep at the end of his bed. His fear was that we didn't love him that we where getting rid of him. The change took a little while but now he's fine with it, still a year latter he will bring it up. Mate you know your child best , take everything as advice, use whats best for you and your family, all the best and good luck.
 
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