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Topic : Stress at Work

Number of Replies: 237
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 09:24:47 am
Author : dataimport
How do you manage stress in the workplace? How do you leave the office at the office and manage a stress-free home life? Join us to share strategies.

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March 17, 2009, 5:11 pm CDT

I dread going to work

I am a 2nd year teacher. The ladies I teach with are older than me. They are very rude, but in a polite-fake way. They make me feel stupid. I was very nervous about teaching 3rd grade because in Texas, the students have to pass this state test to go to the next grade. They did not want to help me. They do their own thing and don't want to do anything fun or creative. Their classrooms are like boot camp. I am a creative teacher and love doing fun activities to help my students learn. They look down on me for being that way. They make me feel stupid and like a failure. When I left on maternity leave, they talked to the principal about me behind my back. The principal discussed this with me before I came back. She said not worry, but that she wanted me to know what was said and to get to the bottom of it. I felt embarrassed and humiliated. Ever since then, I dread going to work. It has put stress on my marriage and I can't enjoy my kids because I am constantly worried about what they are thinking about me. I feel like they are talking about me and judging me.  
 
June 5, 2009, 1:18 am CDT

I don't think this new job is working out

I was working for friends for the last two years helping them get their restaurant off the ground. I found myself more and more taking over the responsibility of running the restaurant. They would stand there with their thumbs in their pockets and watch me work day after day, month after month. I asked for a raise and they said they couldn't afford it. I started to do less and then it never got done. I walked out twice saying that they either start doing more or I would quit. They would do more for a week and then be back at their old ways.
So my brother decided to take over a grill in a pub last month and since he knew how frustrated it was were I was working he asked if I would work for him. So I said sure and I gave my notice at the restaurant. I have been there for almost 4 weeks now.
It started out great but it is getting worse everyday. I cry all the time. I was only supposed to be working 5 hour shifts because I have four children and hubby works until 6 p.m. That way I could get home shortly after school was out, make dinner, pick up hubby from work etc. But no, it's not working that way at all.

My brother said that since he is still at his old job for the summer, that I will have to work for 2 weeks straight and he would spell me off at the usual time or a little later. Ok I said, not a problem. I would still be getting home before dinner and be able to be there for the kids etc. Well I haven't got off before 7 pm for almost the whole two weeks! Tonight was 8 pm! Our agreement was to split the shifts take as my wage instead of an hourly wage. Which I figured would work out better then minimum wage. Well it hasn't. Some days I have gone home with $2.50 after 7 hours! It is averaging out $10 to $20 a day! I have a car payment and insurance and  groceries to pay! Hubby's wage covers the rent and utilities and my pay usually goes for the other stuff. But now, I am barely buying enough to feed everyone!
Anyhow, every day in the last two weeks he comes to work grumpy. Things aren't going right at home. His "day" job has him working 15 hours a day - he gets no sleep blah blah blah. I get yelled at for the stupidest things when he gets there. I didn't know how he made a certain sauce and when I asked him when he came in, he screamed at me! I ran out of something one day and I called him on his cell and he didnt get my message and when he came in I told him we were out of it and he blew up! He made me stay while he drove to a store an hour away to get what we needed!
I go home in tears everyday. Today I worked 9 hours and he didn't even say sorry he was late or thanks for taking the extra time!!! I mentioned to my father today when he called earlier in the day that I would like to have a day off. My brother had said on Monday he would see about giving me Thursday off but of course, he didn't. So I casualy said to my dad that I would really like a day off soon, I am getting behind on everything at home, the kids are missing me etc. He mentions this to my brother and my brother of course yells at me again! "I hear you want a day off! I told you you would be working two weeks straight! You said you were ok with it! Now you want a day off!" I started to cry again and said to just forget it if everyone was going to fight over it. I didnt give a ^%$# about it! He said no, I could have Sunday off. Then he said, well maybe work part of a day Sunday. Well probably a couple hours...I just shook my head and gathered my stuff up and walked to the door. I said Bye and he ignored me and started slamming stuff around.
I am 40 years old. My brothers are ten and eleven years older then me. My whole life they have treated me like I was the annoying little sister.  I was never old enough, smart enough or good enough for them. They drilled it into my head that I always got more then they did, I was always spoiled more then they were. I was and always would be the brat  and that I would never be as good as them.

I am such a fool to think that maybe by working for my brother I could get a little bit more ahead. I don't know what to do. My friends who I worked for said they can't believe how much they are saving now by not having me to pay and that they are getting all this stuff done with out me. I can't go back there but I can't put up with my brother treating me like dirt. Like I say, I am forty years old! I cant be treated this way! He has a problem with his thyroid and he says he has a short temper because of it. I don't know, I think he just gets his jollys treating me like a piece of dog crap! I honestly have no idea what to do anymore. I cringe everytime I think I hear him pull up at work because even though I spend most of the day there making sure every little thing is right, I know he will find something to yell at me for. This is not a good thing to feel this way. It reminds me of when I was a kid and both brothers would yell at me for something I didn't do right. I go over board trying to please him everyday and he just yells and yells. I know I have to leave the job, I know I honeslty do have to go. But then I feel guilty because I told him I would help him. He has no one else to do it since his wife has a full time job and has already said she wouldn't help there. So I feel so guilty that I talk myself into staying.
I don't sleep, I don't eat and I cry all the time. My hubby is mad at me for not telling my brother off. So if I complain to him, he says to just tell my brother I quit - well I can't. I love cooking and have been doing it since I was 13, but I am beginning to hate it now. I get to work and I have a great time and then I know he is coming in and I get nervous and anxious. It's pathetic...
I don't really know why I am posting this. I know you all will say to leave the job and all that. But it's so hard becausein my family, thaat would be like treason.  I guess I just need to tell someone about my situation. I can't talk to hubby about it, my closest friends are the people I used to work for.  My dad just tells my brother everything I say and makes a big deal of it...I guess i just need to tell someone. Thanks for listening.

 
June 12, 2009, 5:33 pm CDT

Being Overlooked

Hi, I recently changed careers and I have been a high school teacher for two years now. I won an award from my district my first year teaching. The problem is so many people gossip at this school and people, like myself, can be mistaken as a gossiper, too. I don't think my boss likes me AT ALL, and I have no idea why? So, I'm guessing people are going back and lying to her about me. The district is a bit odd, a lot of couples and family members work together. Although, I do think this can cause problems, it is nice to know your spouse can come to work with you! I just found out that a teacher with less experience than me was asked to put together some teaching tools for the rest of us teachers. I'm a bit hurt and embarrassed that I was not asked to do this, being I have the most experience in this subject. I'm not really concerned about losing my job that much, but I don't understand why people, meaning my peers/colleages and supervisors do not like me any more than they do? I just get the sense that they don't really like me that much, and I have not done anything to cause this type of reaction. I feel I am a good employee who is hard-working and dedicated to the job, but I would like more respect and kindness from my peers. Any suggestions on how to gain respect in the workplace, and how to get your boss to like you better? Thanks.
 
June 21, 2009, 2:55 am CDT

Trying to make a better life

I Haven't been back to Atascadero State Hospital in over a year and every day I pray something good will happen and I won't have to go back to such a volatile environment. I've been doing photography and have written a few books just to keep my mind away from that place. Tried a few genres including humor, photography, a graphic novel, and a new one that's a Visual Guide to the Wineries and Hotels of the Central Coast. There must be something to the wine business because most of the people seem so happy doing what they're doing. Anyways, the new book also has a section on Hearst Castle. Nothing short of amazing. with all the California State Parks on the chopping block right now, I hope people come enjoy them as much as they can.
 
June 25, 2009, 3:21 pm CDT

HANG IN THERE

I AM A FINANCIAL CONSULTANT AND REALTOR SO I UNDERSTAD THIS CAN BE HARD. U TAKE CARE OF THE BOOK BUT MAYBE YOU WANT TO GET HELP WITH THE REST. tHERE ARE THINGS YOU CAN DO TO MAKE SURE YOUR KIDS HAVE A GREAT FUTURE FINANCIALY, WITH OR WITH OUT THE BUSINESS. GET HELP WHEN NEEDED TO GET COUGHT UP.

 
June 25, 2009, 3:25 pm CDT

LIFE IS TO SHORT

Quote From: reynolds111083

I am a 2nd year teacher. The ladies I teach with are older than me. They are very rude, but in a polite-fake way. They make me feel stupid. I was very nervous about teaching 3rd grade because in Texas, the students have to pass this state test to go to the next grade. They did not want to help me. They do their own thing and don't want to do anything fun or creative. Their classrooms are like boot camp. I am a creative teacher and love doing fun activities to help my students learn. They look down on me for being that way. They make me feel stupid and like a failure. When I left on maternity leave, they talked to the principal about me behind my back. The principal discussed this with me before I came back. She said not worry, but that she wanted me to know what was said and to get to the bottom of it. I felt embarrassed and humiliated. Ever since then, I dread going to work. It has put stress on my marriage and I can't enjoy my kids because I am constantly worried about what they are thinking about me. I feel like they are talking about me and judging me.  

KEEP DOING WHAT YOU FEEL IS RIGHT AND WHAT WILL MAKE YOUR CLASS AND YOU HAPPY. PEOPLE WILL TALK NO MATTER WHAT. FIND PEOPLE WHO YOU CAN TALK TO AND GIVE THE OTHERS NO MIND.

 
July 29, 2009, 8:29 am CDT

a man in need of help

i have a lot of stressed in my life i need Dr.Phil's help i'm in my 50's and i can't spell i can read but only 60% i don't have a job becouse of my spelling i try to spell but i can't do it i get every upset and stress out please help me if you can Dr.Phil my is E-Mail brianlove911@yahoo.com
 
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