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Topic : 10/22 Exes at War

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Created on : Friday, October 19, 2007, 01:41:49 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Dr. Phil checks back in with some memorable guests. Last time, Keri accused her ex-husband, Ken’s, fiancée of being a mean, evil step-monster to her three kids. Keri says she took three Xanax before the show to combat her nervousness, and as a result, she was too overwhelmed to get her point across. She says she was portrayed as a bitter, jealous ex-wife, and she was so angry, you won't believe what she did when she got home! Now, seven months have passed, and the parties return to set the record straight! Why is Keri still upset with Ken? Ken and his new wife, Cari, say they just want some peace for the sake of the kids. So why has Ken called the police on Keri five times? Is Ken hiding money? Plus, find out what Ken says he found on their son’s cell phone that scared the heck out of him. The drama continues as Dr. Phil tries to resolve this war of the exes once and for all. Talk about the show here.


Find out what happened on the show.


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October 20, 2007, 8:50 am CDT

Move on

To all of the  "ex's" out there!  Move on with your anger and move in to a healthy relationship with your ex's for the sake of those children involved.  I assure you, your child(ren) will be the ones picking up the tab for all of the selfishness. This is not about you nor is it a competition against each other.  The issue at hand is this:  the child(ren) need to see and know they are loved, cared for by all, and that all parties involved have only their best interest at hand. 

 

My son was 4 years old when his father and I divorced.  It has been 15+ years now since our divorce. In the beginning of starting new lives, I will admit, it was difficult for both my ex and myself to see each other with different people; however, we all made the choice to put our differences aside, (yes, that means putting your agenda last and the child(rens first!)   Since that time, we have all become friends and have done many things together as an extended family.  We celebrate birthdays, holidays, school events and various social gatherings for the support of our son.  We have even vacationed together with their daughter whom also spends time with us on occasion. It is, afterall, my son's sister.  She deserves the same honor and respect as we have all put into our son. 

 

Overall, my son is a happy, well-adjusted college student with nothing less then admiration for what his parents have given to him.  He spends a great deal of time with all of us.  Our hope for his future is happiness, success but most importantly, to understand we loved him much more than we loved being "right."   I guarantee if you put all your feelings aside (anger, resentment, etc.) for the betterment of your child(ren), you will not only be much happier in your own marriage,  you will have set the  example of  what comes from the true meaning of unconditional love and compromise for your child(ren),  and  they too will become the victors, not the victim's.      

 
October 20, 2007, 10:13 am CDT

Doctor Phil Show

At Doctor Exes Phil War. I cannot harley wait untill Monday to see this show.  It will be a blast. See you------- on Monday October 22nd, 2007. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.--------------------------------------------------

 
October 20, 2007, 10:32 am CDT

For pity sake*

The divorce is final. The kids are pulled between mom being upset/angry and down right jeolous even though I have heard her say " I am not" on the past show. I say, she is. IF she keeps talking to the oldest daughter regarding their father a court order would be issued first. THEN a social worker would be at the MOMS house explaing to her that there would be absolutely no more bad mouthing Dad regarding clothing purchases /toys/food/THINGS.... no more exploding over weight gain or loss , no more contributing or "egging on " converstation with a daughter to dwell on things!  I have heard all this before from women hurt and after they have been JUST AS UN-FAITHFUL as their ex-husbands. This is a control issue with her and she would knock it off or the kids would go live with grandma until she get over this behavior. Mom needs deep counseling a life and her ex-husband needs to move closer to the daughters. I do not believe for one second the new wife is being mean to the girls , I do believe her when she says she is doing her best and trying her hardest. This is ridiculous that a full grown woman calls the new wife on "BOOTS"  for a child. I know what this is about and it is ridiculous.

 

If the husband and his wife want to I would get custody of the girls and the ex-wife would get visitation with a social worker present at all times to make sure she does not talk badly about the girls and all conversations taped for now.

The dad and his wife would not be aloud to talk against mom as well no one. Contempt of court is a bad thing that ends up with heavy fines and jail time.

Thishas gone on long enough without their State intervention and the kids suffering is wrong. Mom needs help , Dad is doing his best and his poor wife has been going through hell. This has to stop for the kids sake, ALL OF THEM!

 
October 20, 2007, 5:40 pm CDT

Doctor Phil Show

At Doctor Exes Phil War. At war again? What are you talking about? Theonly war was Tuesday

September 11th, 2007. See you on Monday October 22nd, 2007. Sincerley Your. Russell-------

Vlaanderen.

 
October 20, 2007, 6:18 pm CDT

Stop Parental Alienation

My husband's ex makes this woman look like Mary Poppins.  My husband has been divorced since 2002.They share joint legal custody.   They have a specific parenting time schedule.  My husband's ex just refuses to honor any of it.  My husband has taken her to mediation three times (the third was cancelled by the court mediator stating that "ms. B. is due any day."  Due for what?  She was having a baby with her married partner and had sworn the boys to secrecy for nine months.  She didn't work outside the home during their seventeen year marriage but didn't want spousal maintenance because she'd have to pay taxes on it. The ex and their two teenage boys lived off $1,000. in child support for the first year after the divorce.  She could have stayed in their marital home but instead it was sold and she moved the boys across town, away from their school and friends so she could be closer to her "new" friends at the bar she sang karoke at.  There are no parent-child boundaries.  She discusses everything with her sons.  When my husband told her it was not appropriate to burden the boys with her issues, she said she had a "right" to discuss her personal life with them.

The boys swear at my husband, call him names, and only want to see him when it is their birthdays or Christmas.  The oldest sent my husband an email detailing how he'd love to bash his head in with a two by four if he was guaranteed of no consquences for doing it.  The ex claimed she didn't know about it - end of subject.  She also claims she has no idea why the boys are so angry.  I found out about Parental Alienation Syndrome about two years ago and it was as though a light started to shine on the entire situation.  Last November, she called and asked our help moving out of the home she shared with the boys, her Partner and their little girl.  She claimed he was abusing her.  We helped them move and from November, 2006 - July 6, 2007, my husband talked with his sons almost daily and saw them frequently.  Then came the calls she was being evicted (they have moved seven times in 5 years). Their oldest son, according to the ex, was going to stay with friends and she was moving with the other two kids into her sisters' basement .  My husband offered to take their youngest son into our home till the ex got back on her feet.  The poop hit the fan immediately.  "Absolutely not" she screamed before hanging up.  Less than half an hour later, the vulgar, profanity ridden text messages began arriving from the boys.  During this peaceful time, the Ex told me she had taken the kids with her over to the home we moved them out of . She said the police had met her there and told her she had no  right to enter the home. (This was April, 2007)

The ex waited for the police to leave and had the oldest son kick in the back door.  We have the police report.  In fact, there are 40+ police reports from the last three residences they live in.  My husband learned his oldest son had been engaging in self injurious behavior.  The Ex had never mentioned it.  My husband had had no medical, governmental, etc. information on his sons since 2002.  When he pushed the Ex for it, she filed a Harassment Restraining Order against both of us.  We went to court and it was dismissed without any testimony from my husband or I.  He still doesn't get to see his boys. 

 

And now, despite a court order, she refuses to let the Partner visit with his little girl (she's 3) during his court ordered visitation and when he calls at the court ordered time for his phone calls, no one answers the phone.  They have a court date in November to decide custody.  Now she says he is not the biological father of the little gir - yet he pays child support every month.

 

It is a horrible situation.  The boys claim their father was horrible to them but have no examples of this horror.  This wasn't their relationship prior to the divorce.   The Ex has taught them it is okay to lie to the police, lie to anyone to get what you want. 

 

My husband is a good, kind man who loves his boys.  It breaks my heart to see how he is treated by his boys.  The ex thinks she is above court orders.  She actually stated in court for the Harassment ORder that my husband wanting documentation regarding his sons  (one has allegedy been diagnosed with Bi-oplar disorder)) was a privacy issue.  Our therapist has told us the boys are living in a war zone with the enemy.   They had to show total loyalty or else. 

The ex does not seem to care that she is harming all these kids.  It is all about her.  The boys don't seem to have a clue as to how they feel about anyting.  The Ex tells them how to feel. 

 

We are preparing the paperwork for a contempt of court case.  We can't afford an attorney,  The Ex interrupts the judge, refuses to answer questions - she arrogantly thinks she knows better than anyone.  It is a double edged sword.  Even if he does win, the kids send him nasty text and emails and seem to believe he is being unkind to their mother.  The woman is evil.

 
October 20, 2007, 7:01 pm CDT

the kids

I can't wait to see this show we  deal with the same issue and it is really difficult. Does anyone know if their is an organization that works on changing laws about the expectations of both the custodial and noncustodial parent should follow. Because I know of a few states that really stick it to the noncustodial parent with no regard for the custodial parents behavior. I also know a state that lets the non custodial parent get away with everything.

 
October 20, 2007, 7:17 pm CDT

Miserable

     I Keri needs to get a life; she seems a little unstable and I hope she is not involving her children in her problems like some ex-spouses do.  I'm anxious to find out what she did after the last show and what was on her son's cell.
 
October 20, 2007, 8:31 pm CDT

Maybe your husband should have thought a litle more?

Quote From: janb101

My husband's ex makes this woman look like Mary Poppins.  My husband has been divorced since 2002.They share joint legal custody.   They have a specific parenting time schedule.  My husband's ex just refuses to honor any of it.  My husband has taken her to mediation three times (the third was cancelled by the court mediator stating that "ms. B. is due any day."  Due for what?  She was having a baby with her married partner and had sworn the boys to secrecy for nine months.  She didn't work outside the home during their seventeen year marriage but didn't want spousal maintenance because she'd have to pay taxes on it. The ex and their two teenage boys lived off $1,000. in child support for the first year after the divorce.  She could have stayed in their marital home but instead it was sold and she moved the boys across town, away from their school and friends so she could be closer to her "new" friends at the bar she sang karoke at.  There are no parent-child boundaries.  She discusses everything with her sons.  When my husband told her it was not appropriate to burden the boys with her issues, she said she had a "right" to discuss her personal life with them.

The boys swear at my husband, call him names, and only want to see him when it is their birthdays or Christmas.  The oldest sent my husband an email detailing how he'd love to bash his head in with a two by four if he was guaranteed of no consquences for doing it.  The ex claimed she didn't know about it - end of subject.  She also claims she has no idea why the boys are so angry.  I found out about Parental Alienation Syndrome about two years ago and it was as though a light started to shine on the entire situation.  Last November, she called and asked our help moving out of the home she shared with the boys, her Partner and their little girl.  She claimed he was abusing her.  We helped them move and from November, 2006 - July 6, 2007, my husband talked with his sons almost daily and saw them frequently.  Then came the calls she was being evicted (they have moved seven times in 5 years). Their oldest son, according to the ex, was going to stay with friends and she was moving with the other two kids into her sisters' basement .  My husband offered to take their youngest son into our home till the ex got back on her feet.  The poop hit the fan immediately.  "Absolutely not" she screamed before hanging up.  Less than half an hour later, the vulgar, profanity ridden text messages began arriving from the boys.  During this peaceful time, the Ex told me she had taken the kids with her over to the home we moved them out of . She said the police had met her there and told her she had no  right to enter the home. (This was April, 2007)

The ex waited for the police to leave and had the oldest son kick in the back door.  We have the police report.  In fact, there are 40+ police reports from the last three residences they live in.  My husband learned his oldest son had been engaging in self injurious behavior.  The Ex had never mentioned it.  My husband had had no medical, governmental, etc. information on his sons since 2002.  When he pushed the Ex for it, she filed a Harassment Restraining Order against both of us.  We went to court and it was dismissed without any testimony from my husband or I.  He still doesn't get to see his boys. 

 

And now, despite a court order, she refuses to let the Partner visit with his little girl (she's 3) during his court ordered visitation and when he calls at the court ordered time for his phone calls, no one answers the phone.  They have a court date in November to decide custody.  Now she says he is not the biological father of the little gir - yet he pays child support every month.

 

It is a horrible situation.  The boys claim their father was horrible to them but have no examples of this horror.  This wasn't their relationship prior to the divorce.   The Ex has taught them it is okay to lie to the police, lie to anyone to get what you want. 

 

My husband is a good, kind man who loves his boys.  It breaks my heart to see how he is treated by his boys.  The ex thinks she is above court orders.  She actually stated in court for the Harassment ORder that my husband wanting documentation regarding his sons  (one has allegedy been diagnosed with Bi-oplar disorder)) was a privacy issue.  Our therapist has told us the boys are living in a war zone with the enemy.   They had to show total loyalty or else. 

The ex does not seem to care that she is harming all these kids.  It is all about her.  The boys don't seem to have a clue as to how they feel about anyting.  The Ex tells them how to feel. 

 

We are preparing the paperwork for a contempt of court case.  We can't afford an attorney,  The Ex interrupts the judge, refuses to answer questions - she arrogantly thinks she knows better than anyone.  It is a double edged sword.  Even if he does win, the kids send him nasty text and emails and seem to believe he is being unkind to their mother.  The woman is evil.

Obviously, you as the "new wife" have never been in her situation. The children are entitled to the family they were born into. They do not need a "new family" from your husband or his ex. Do you not think the kid's feel abandoned by their father. Children protect their mother. Period. The father can be great and loving, great, but maybe if he wanted a relationship w/ his children he should have thought more before moving on! I am so sick of men moving on 2 days after a divorce/death. YES, it happens all the time. Wait till the kids are older before getting a new bed mate MEN! What do you women expect? Do you really think the kids are going to embrace you w/open arms. You are not their mother. Do you wish they would call you "Mommy"? The ex was married to this man for 17 years. Why did they divorce? You did not mention that. I bet you are years younger than your new husband. Ever hear of a women scorned? The ex obviously was looking for something your husband could not give her. I believe her problems are a result her not wanting history to repeat intself. SHE is their MOTHER, not you! Do not fool yourself, you may have a reasonable relationship w/the kids @ some point, but it will not last . The children will always be loyal to THEIR MOTHER! Taking their mom to court will only further alianate them from their dad. THINK a little. Do you have children from a previous marriage? How would they feel to have a new step mom for them, who wants to take them away from you over everything. Come clean on your whole story, and them maybe I can synpethize w/ you, otherwise shut-up & but out.
 
October 20, 2007, 9:42 pm CDT

get over it.

Enough is enough.  It gets so tiring. Not only this relationship but others. MOVE ON!  ITS OVER! Life is to short in so many ways. Often who gets hurt is the kids.  The fact that your ex-husband is now re-married he is moving on.  Forget about the money.  Focus on self improvement to find your happiness.  Making sure the kids have a good enviroment and needs are being meet.  In order to start this process is you have to delevope a relationship all over again with your ex's. Setting new boundries. FOCUS ON THE KIDS> Turn it over to God!

 

Jeff

Minnesota

 
October 20, 2007, 10:23 pm CDT

exes at war

The only thing here is the happiness of those children and the adults should rise above it for them.

 

Three Xanax is a huge drug dose and I would certainly question emotional problems and potential addiction problems for someone that takes that much of a drug to cope.  It's not the use but the abuse that concerns me.

 

Taking that many Xanax to cope would be an alarm of other issues of the taker.

 

Lyn

 

 

 
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