Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

I feel sad for Selina and Enrique.  That being said, how Enrique handled the situation left a lot to be desired.  I can understand that he was probably reeling from the news he had gotten, and I sure wish he had dealt with his own reactions before seeing and talking to the child that he had just discovered was not his child.  Biology makes someone a father, but not necessarily a dad.  I think he reacted out of his own shock and did not think about the consequences of his actions.  I also believed him when he said that he regretted the way he handled this situation.  As a parent myself, there have been a few instances where I hurt me kids because I was reacting to shocking information and did not take the time to process it myself before speaking to my kids.  I have seen first hand how damaging that can be and I know if I could take that back I would, which is why I do believe his sincerity. 

I think Enrique's ex-wife needs to be held accountable for her actions.  She is the person who perpetrated this event and she needs to do whatever it takes to help make Selina okay and able to go forward in her life.  My opinion is that Enrique should have maintained a relationship with Selina, and should work towards re-establishing one with her, but he should not be forced to pay child support.  Maybe he would have come to doing that willingly if he had not been so blind-sided with the truth after being lied to for so many years.  I do think the biological father should be the person who is financially responsible for his daughter.  What a sad situation for this group of people because one person chose to behave immorally.  So much pain inflicted on so many people. 

You, like Maria, had no right to decide by yourself that this child should not have had a father.  It wasn't about your survival, but your daughter's well-being.  How can you expect after all the lost time that a father can just pick up a blank slate and not struggle with it.

I would like to say that I can relate to this. My daughter was married to a man for several years. When suddenly his mom told him to divorce her. And he did. They had 1 child together and she had 1 when they married. The son she had was only about 8 months when they married, so he was the only dad he knew. When they divorced he was 5 years old. We had to explain to  this child the truth of why he would pick up his sister and leave him behind. As a result he has severe mental health issues. He is on medication because of physical outbursts against his sister. I feel it is because he resents the fact that she has a dad and he doesn't. His natural father is not in the picture by his choosing. I feel like this man today had no right to abandon this child who believed  in and trusted him. How can he turn off his feelings so easily for ths child he raised and loved for 10 years. I have no symphathy for him having to pay child support. His new wife should have kept her thoughts to herself. She is looking at the money, I feel.

If a father of 10 years, after building a relationship with a child that he later finds out is not his biological child, questions whether or not he should continue paying for that child, I believe his priorities and values are completely out of whack!  If he really loved his child, he would not change their relationship one tiny bit, and he would not change, financially or any other way, the lifestyle he has given to that child for so many years.  His behavior shows me that he did not truly love this child in the first place.  A good parent could not have given up their child for any reason, even if they found out after 10 years that the child was someone elses.  Look back at the story of "Baby M"!!  That was only 2 years and those mother could not easily give up their child that was not biologically theirs.  To stop supporting his child financially would change her life, change what she is used to, how she is used to living, and certainly will change the way she thinks her father feels about her.  He should have better life values, especially when it comes to the feelings of his daughter, the one that HE has made to believe was his child (no matter what his wife has made him to believe). If he has a grudge with the mother for being dishonest about his being the biological father, then he should take it up with her, and with her only.  Not involving a child in the discussion.  He would not have involved a child in the process of "making" a child and he should not involve a child in the process of "un-making" this child... his.  Shame on both of those parents.  I believe neither of them should parent any of their children.  Their values, their treatment of their children are a danger to both of their children.  If possible the children should live with a family member that loves them.  The parents should go to counseling, learn how to be loving parents, learn how to behave properly, and then possibly have their children returned to them.

  First, I think Gloria Allred should save her Court face to that area.  TOTALLY turned off by her.   Second, if the mother lied about the paternity of her child and someone else has been paying child support, the "father" that has been paying should not be obligated to pay.  Shame on her!!!!!!!!  If the "not the biological father" and child wish to continue their "relationship" they should, but the "father" should not be obligated to pay child support unless he wants to.  If the "father" and child have a good relationship, hopefully it will continue whether he is paying child support when he is in fact not the biological father.

I have to ask everyone on this board... would you not want to know the truth about your health history???   Imagine going to a hospital and giving crucial information about your health history and it's all a lie???  People have died from stuff like this.  She put the child in danger by not telling her the  correct health background.  Maybe Mia was thinking of this when she said something.....hello people, we ALL want to know the truth about where we come from and who our realy family is....PLEASE!

It's a well known fact that most Non-costodial parents pay their support and that in most cases those who don't cannot afford to pay it.

 

The mother is the only wrong doer in this. She robbed that child of a relationship with her father (you only have one father) and robbed that father of having a relationship with his child. She made him think he had a child (he may have otherwise wanted to have a child of his own).  If he wants to voluntarily help support this child and continue to have a relationship with her it should NOT be forced. I firmly believe that victoms of this type of fraud should not be forced into that support System period. They should always be allowed to voluntarily help support a child they care about, and not give up the right to contribute financially in the way they see fit.

First of all, the mother lied about paternity of that child.  I do not blame her then husband for being furious at being lied to for over 13 years.  I see no reason for him to pay court ordered child support for a child that is not biologically his.  This is especially true in light of the lies of the mother.  She is the evil doer here.  If she needs child support, let her go find the biological father (if she even knows who that is) and get the child support from him.  Selena should forgive her 'dad' for what he did.  As he said he acted out because he felt so betrayed.  He was wrong in what he did -- but he is still the wronged person here.  Why is Selena not angry with her mother for these terrible lies?

 

The ex should not have to pay child support -- he is a victim here.  If he continues to parent the child (without child support payments) that makes him a big man and a big winner here.  To make him pay is just adding another wrong to many already committed against him.

 

I say the mother is totaly responsible for this mess.

I think he should not have to pay child support for a child that is not his.  He should still have a relationship with the child.  The mother should have to pay back all the child support he has paid.

Just about everybody on that show was so blind. You could tell the mother just wanted the money, and those "professionals" were also so closeminded. The woman wanted the ex-husband to keep paying for someone who had no relation to him, and the man had no idea how different this situation was from his own. The ex-husband's wife, who by the way, had no right having anything to do with this event, did all the talking for them, and she was just concerned with how the ex-wife's lie affected them all so "deeply". Nobody had any idea that the real issue was not who was paying, or who lied to whom. The fact is that the ex-wife lied, and this child was not the ex-husband's daughter. That's all past, and the most important thing now is the effect this whole situation is having on the girl. The man she thought was her father just up and left so he wouldn't have to pay. How will that affect her relationships in the future? I'm not saying he wasn't wronged in that he was lied to or that he should continue paying, but how could he leave someone he thought was his child for 10 years high and dry like that? He did not handle this at all the way he should've. It should be a criminal offense to screw with a child's psychological development like that.