Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

Your rights as the second wife is that just that - You came after, you married this man knowing that he was married before and that to your knowledge he had 2 children.  I think you should have minded your business.  You are an adult and you knew exactly who you were marrying when you decided to marry him.  Whether the child was adopted, found, biological etc. really had NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.  It was a matter between Maria and your current husband.  PLEASE NOTE, this does not excuse what Maria did.  She was wrong without a doubt.  But if the LAW agreed with you and said, he no longer had to pay for Selina, the wife may be angered but the PERSON THAT'S HURT IS SELINA, NOT MARIA.  It is Selina that had no access to the man she thought was her father, it's Selina that was ejected from the car, it's Selina that was left behind. Selina was rejectd, and this hurt is the direct outcome of your interference. Selina has been rejected by the man she saw as her FATHER; this will affect her for the REST OF HER LIFE.  On the Dr. Phil show you and your husband said this was NOT about the money.  YOU showed your true colors when you stated  "What if we wanted to have children of our own? Who's going to support them after all our court costs, child support, emotional stress, etc. "  Obviously, it is about the money.  Like I said, you knew what the state of affairs was when you married him - Man with 2 children.  Questions such as the ones you posed are things you think about and decide upon BEFORE getting married, not afterward, and especially not at the expense of an innocent child.  Shame on you.

Why in the world is this "woman attorney" so angry?  She come out with an attack mode immediately. Can't she discuss this as an educational, calm adult?   She gives womens righrs a VERY bad name.  Please, Dr. Phil, do not use this attorney again.  Thie mother should return any child support money paid.  She attitude is discusting and shameful.  At the same time, the father should be ashamed for the way he dealt with his daughter. 

I agree. It is not fair to the man to make him think he is the biological father and make him pay support while the biological father is running around foot loose and fancy free and not having to take responsibility for his child. A child should know who the real father is. The child may have a medical emergency and only the real parent can help save his/her life. It would be kinda late to try to find the real father then, wouldn't it? Women ought to stop playing these games that affect other lives. (Men too), Women should stop letting themselves get pregnant. I say that because women are in control of their bodies. Men and women should stop having unprotected sex and making babies.  Some woman get money from both men.

Well it was interesting today until you brought the mouth Attourney on. She was so wrong, but she sure was a very loud person. The mother was totally wrong. I think she should have to pay the acting father all the money that he paid. Women have trapped men for many years. I am a women, a mother of two grown daughters, and have been with the father of both girls for almost 30 years. The mother is scum, and give mothers a bad name.

Candi D

Wisconsin

I don't understand why a law has not been put into action to require all new parents to undergo a DNA test to ensure the relationship with the child.  I think this should be done before the father's name is placed on any birth certificate. 

 

Wouldn't this end the problem!?  Sure, there are lots of problems associated with this topic, but I think madatory DNA testing would prevent many undesirable situations.

I agree with you and know exactly what you are talking about.

 

"best interest of the child" can be used to justify just about anything. We are a heart beat away from rich folks being able to drive into poor areas and take children out of the hostpitals.

 

www.glensacks.com has some pretty interesting columns.

 

http://stephenbaskerville.net/index.htm Dr. Stephenbaskerville makes some very BOLD claims. No one has challenged them as of yet suposidly. 

 

 

After watching today’s show I can see both points of view (but only to a degree). I completely understand the fact that there are some slimy women out there that area snakes and will lie, cheat, manipulate, and knave to make sure that they come out on top of what ever situation.

But if you’ve been a father to a child for nine years how can you all of sudden turn your feelings off. Did this man not love his younger daughter as equally his older daughter? Did the younger one not hold the same place in her father’s heart? I don’t under stand how any parent can just shut one of their “children” out after raising them for nine years.  I know that he feels hurt and betrayed but how can you deny such a beautiful young lady?

I’m only a “kid” my self but there is no way that I could turn my back on any of my family. I found out that my grandpa wasn’t my “biological” grandpa when I was older but I wasn’t mad and I don’t love him any less.

This is just my brief opinion on the matter and I’m sure that I’m not the only one, and I’m sure there are other people whose opinions are completely different than my own and there’s nothing wrong with that.   

I did want to stay out of it.  As a matter of fact I didn't want to appear on the show.  I am a human trying to deal with a very difficult situtation.  I try to support my husband and in case you haven't read my earlier posts.  This is horrible for all of us.  I want Enrique to see Selina because I know they are both hurting very badly....I want the money to go to Selina NOT the mother.  I understand that they are trying to create ratings and cut a lot of things that I said so you don't get the entire story and all details.  I just want peace!  I can promiss you that!  In my earlier posts:

I am Mia the current wife.  I first want to say my heart goes out to Enrique and Selina and everyone else involved. I don’t feel it is my place to tell my husband how to feel about this devastating mess.  I suggested the possibility that Selina was not his daughter only after weeks of praying and discussing the topic with my daughter.  I had my suspicions in the beginning but chose not to voice them.  It was my daughter who talked me in to discussing this with my husband.  As my very wise daughter pointed out; Selina needs to know her medical history and her ethnical background, at a minimum.  I have never participated in tearing anyone’s family apart.  I have compassion and pray for everyone in this situation to find some peace and yes, that includes Maria and the children.  It’s my firm believe and wish that Selina should have a trust fund and any child support money should go into that fund for her to do with as she chooses when she turn’s 18.  I’ll stand by that! 

The parent that was fooled into thinking his was the biological father for 11 years should not have to pay future child support and the biological father should be held responsible. I also think he should sue the mother for fraud and mental cruelty for letting him think he was the child's father.

 

The real victims are the child and the ex-husband. She fooled both of them.This women should be held accountable for her actions and pay up. This is her financial responsibility and no one elses. Let the poor guy off the hook, he has suffered enough.

 

As far as the daughter that his not his, well she needs to find her real father. I feel bad for her, but it is her mother's fault for doing this to her. 

 

Mother of 3 Boy's

 

Lynne Koch

 

Hello All,
    This has been going on for years, You hear from time to time . There was a case i heard about where a woman was collecting child support from 3 different men for 3 differnt children.  the first man payed for olderest child. the second payed for the oldest and the middle child and the last man payed for all 3 children. There was another case were a woman was getting payed by 2 guys for the same child.
   The problem with the system is that the goverment looks at every thing in black and white. There is so much grey area that no one wants to deal with it. The lawyers just deal in black and white, the grey areas don't matter to them.
   Now I think the father did not choose his words right. I would have taken my child to a nice place they like to go to. And i would have him. I would have said I am you father and i will always be your father, however i would like you to know that i am not your biological father, and i would have explained that there was a nother person out there who is the biological father. Then i would have huged my child and tell him that nothing would change. but that is just me.
   Some women go after guy for child support out of spite. My x-wife was going to try to do that to me. I turned around and told her to go for it. She was livving in the state of Washington. We were not devorced yet, but we were seperated and had been for almost 2 years, she was cheeting on my while we were together, and after we split up, she moved in with the guy. after she had the child he did not want to have any thing to do with her. Since we were not devorced yet she thought she would be able to get child support from me. She gave me a heads up on what she was doing, so i told her i knew that the child was not mine, am i would have a dna test done first. and by some chance that the child was mine, i would have the child taken away from her, because she was an unfit mother. After i told her what i was going to do , she droped every thing.
   Some people don't always know the laws. And that is what causes the problem.

   He is my suggestion:
       The law should allow for 2 father spots on a bith certificate. The first father slaught is for  a biological father slot, witch would require a dna test,  the second slot would be for a father who states that i believe that the child is mine, and i will take responcible for the child as if it is my own biological child,  This would solve a lot of problems. Men then would request the dna test to be done before they sign,

 
     From my dads point of view, he had to pay child support for my sister, he stated that he never signed the adoption papers for her and the courts did not care that it was not his signature, he still had to pay.

     It would be a nice place if there was a thing such as equal right and everone is treated equal. It would also be great if you are inosent untill proven gulity.  But unfortunatly we live in america were that ain't true. The laws in america states that black is black and white is white, if you are in the grey you are wrong.
I am not trying to discrimanting angainst anyone.