Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

I'm sorry but I think that is a really lame excuse to trap a man into staying with you. All it does is ruin the mans life and the child life even more. It is all the womans fault! If she would just tell the truth in the first place or better yet keep her pants on, then none of this would happen anyway. The man should be able to see the child without paying child support. The man can't just walk away from the child after so many years. If he can do that then he is no better than she is. The mother is the one that has done this to her own child not only the man. I know so many people say it takes a real man to stay for the child but it also takes a real woman to stand up and tell the truth in the beginning for her child. I have 3 children and could never imagine putting one of them through that. The woman should be the one to pay. The man shouldn't be punished for actually standing up and paying for a child he thought was truly his. He has already payed for years. The woman knows who the real father is go get the rest of the money from the real father.

     He was wrong to tell her in the park....frustration can be a bitch - but for the love of god please tell me we are beyond the times of blaming the men for everything. She a the the affair, she didn't tell him......she should take the brunt of the payments!

If the problem is, when did the father know, I have a very straight forward solution. Require a DNA test for all births problem solved. Additionally I would have genetic material geathered at the birth of any child I was told that I might be the father.

I think the truth coming out is always the best.  If I had a new husband that had a kid that looked nothing like him or the mother, I might say something too.  It wasnt you that did bad, it was that whore ex wife that deceived him for YEARS! If you did it for money reasons, and only u know that, shame on you. I feel bad for this situation, and hope you adults can get your **it together!  He shouldnt be forced to pay child support, but helping her, and not the mother financially if possible would be big of him.

I feel for the father however not nearly as much as I feel for the child.  I know it's tough for him to think it is the right thing to do in paying child support to her mother and ex-wife who deceived him but the most important thing here is the life of the child he helped raise and treated as though she was his.  After all if he had gone into this relationship knowing the child was not his and formed a bond with her would he not still be in the picture.  Speaking for myself as a man who loves his biological children but have also been involved in the past with a lady who brought a child into the relationship, I think he must look past the matter of child support, pay it and reconnect with the child he thought was his.

 

He may be looking at is as the principle of the matter should not have him paying and I don't disagree but he is hurting the young lady that I'm sure he does not want to hurt.  In addition his ex-wife will have to face a grander judgement than he could ever impose upon her.

I think a DNA test should only be mandatory only if the father/mother wants

their name on the child's birth certificate (both parents).

 

I also think the mother should be jailed (only - if she continues to pressure

this man to pay her for child support) and pay back any money that she

has receives.

 

If only everyone dealt with these situations like you have.  Keeping the child's best interest at heart is the key to these situations.  It is not always easy to say nice things about the other parent, but it is what is best for the child.  I too have done this very thing and it is so hard to take the high road, but I keep my son's emotional health in mind.  Check out my posting called, Bond of Love is the Real Issue.  Should be up sometime soon, this respose will make more sense once you read that.

What about the father?  He was lied to and established deep feelings for the little girl too.  I feel VERY sorry for the girl but don't act like the father wasn't damaged by the woman's deceit. 

I AGREE 100% WAHT A GREAT IDEA.  i KNOW GIRLS WHO GET THEIR CHILD SUPPORT AND BLOW IT AT THE MALL ON THEMSELFS... OR THE NIGHT CLUBS.  THEY SHOULD HAVE TO SHOW HOW THEY SPEND THE MONEY... IT SHOULD BE 100% ON THE KIDS!

Where do I start any time you are dealing with kids it is hard.  I was taken away from my family when I was 5 years old I was adopted into a good family at the age of 8.  I am 47 now I found out about 2 years ago that my biological father was not my dad.  My mother was having an affair. Every child has a right to know where they come from, they need to know so they can go forward.  There is a time and a place for everything.  adults need to realize kids do need to know but you need to pick your moment on when and how you tell them they do not have to have all the details.  As far as a man paying child support if the child is not his that isn't right either.  Women really make me mad sometimes because they are so manipulative.  They need to think more about the kids then they do themselves.    Think how they would feel.

Thank-you,

Rhonda