Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

I am surprised that the man the mom is currently in a relationship with is o.k. with her cavalier attitude, and doesn't question her integrity.  He seems to value integrity.

At the end of the show, the legal father's wife really seemed to want to know or understand the mom's responsibility for telling the truth.  What she needs to understand is that there is a difference between moral responsibility and legal responsibility.  She did have the moral responsibility, however, I don't think the show determined if she (or any partner in a relationship) has a legal responsibility to be honest to their partner.  That's not likely, and therefore, his legal responsibility to continue monetary support for a child is upheld.

I wish the legal father and his wife would understand that it truely isn't feasible to have a parent/child relationship without some financial input and it's too clouded to draw the line.  The mom and her partner could be understanding and work with the legal father regarding the financial responsibility.  Perhaps they could pay for her home, but legal dad could buy her clothes and pay for her fun/teenage expenses, hair, nails.  She could be this ultimately fortunate kid who walks away with a very large group of loving and supportive parents.  They should all appreciate what the other can give, be willing to give, and be willing to let the others give. 

I do not buy the parent trap issue.  I just caught the last 15 minutes or so of your show today.  I am curious if your guest were under court  orders.  I work in the family court through the clerk's office here in South Carolina. Our Judges ask all defendants if they want to admit to paternity or if they would like a genetic test.  Whether or not it is a private action for child support or through Department of Social Services, if they admit to paternity they are informed that they may never come back to court and ask for termination of their court order because the mother lied at the time the order was issued, someone else told them they were not the father or how ever they want to deny paternity.  They are given this first chance if they respond to their notice of the hearing.  If they choose not to repsond to the hearing, then when they are ruled in to court for not paying their child support they are ask at that time if they would like a genetic test.  

Most of the cases I refer to are through Child Support Enforcement through the Department of Social Services.  Mothers file for child support, notices are sent for service by the sheriff's department to the only address provided, usually a family member of the defendant.  It is then the accepting partie's repsonsibility to inform the defendant of their hearing.  Here they figure if they don't repsond they are not responsible.  When they finally get into court,  they are then given the option for the genetic test.  As for private cases where payments are made directly to the parent, the parent is ask the same question as to admitting paternity or taking the test. 

As to the relationship with the child whether or not they are the parent, it should not matter.  Here it is sad to say the parent would rather give up their rights than have to pay their child support.  Jobs are not easy to find in our area which really makes it hard for every one envolved, especially the children.  They are the ones who really suffer. 

1.  The gentleman that was "dooped" should be allowed to develop a relationship with Salinda (if she wishes and I hope she does) without the wife or her new husband interferring.

2.  There should be no child support ordered to be paid, as he is not the father and the woman knew it all the time.

3.  The new husband should not be allowed to adopt this child.  As the previous "father" was in her life of 10 years and they should be able to mend this broken relationship without the complication of a "new" father in her life.  What would happen if the mother and new father divorced?  What would the child do then?  Be without a 2nd fathers?

4.  The new husband should take on all financial responsibilities of raising this child.  Since the mother remarried and the child is still at home.....let the new husband step up to the plate and handle all the financial reponsibilities regarding this child.  He should be more than happy to.  What is he going to say..."This is not child, why should I pay? If he refuses to take on this responsibility, the wife should leave him.  It would be a chilling confession that he really does not have the child's best interest in mind or his wife's.  Also, by him taking care of the financial responsibilities for his new family, he would be paying the "debt" the woman owes to both her child and her ex-husband.  It's call poetic justice. 

Yes he was wrong for abandoning his child but my gosh not everyone sits back and like crap thrown in their face!!

The mother is pathetic!  A problem must be solved at the root ...women and men must STOP LYING to their children . This is a very serious problem that happens ALL over the world

What the mom did was wrong, obviously (and I wish that there was a punishment we could dole out to women who do this that wouldn't hurt their children).  Enrique was deceived, also obvious...  What doesn't seem to be so obvious to many here is that the child DOES belong to Enrique.  What I mean by this is that biology doesn't play a role in the relationship/feeling between parent and child, NOR SHOULD IT.  If I learned today that my child was not mine (whether through deception or a hospital error) it wouldn't change my love for my child, nor my desire to continue providing the best I can financially.  Money IS important in that it sends a message (a strong one) to the child about whether you treasure them or your money more.  I would want my child to know that regardless of whose they were biologically, that I would and will always consider them MINE.  And I'd make sure to reinforce this by providing for them financially!  I wouldn't allow for any question at all to permeate my kid's thoughts about where my loyalties are!

Enrique got screwed, but that in no way changes (or rather, shouldn't have changed) the fact that he has been her father!  Where are his feelings for her????  (His daughter is very bright to have heard his sudden and renewed interest in her with skepticism!) How could he have treated someone he raised from infancy, and supposedly loved, that way????  I wouldn't wish that kind of treatment on my worst enemy.  The feelings of abandonment this poor girl must feel, I can't imagine.  She may not realize this now, but I have no doubt that those feelings of abandonment and mistrust will affect her future relationships because they will affect how she feels about herself.  I pray she gets the help she needs as she grows to realize exactly what Dr. Phil said -- that she is worthy of love regardless of what that pseudo-father did to her. 

Frankly, I don't know how some people here can justify anything but a continuation of  a fatherly relationship, and that includes a FINANCIAL one.  NOT because this is "fair" to him, but because (more importantly) it is what is "fair" and right for HIS DAUGHTER.  And again, he should want to.  If I were him, I wouldn't care about seeking out the biological father so as to pay for my kid's expenses.  I would want nothing to do with him in fact, so as not to ruin the stability I would hope to continue to provide, (until my child wanted to seek him out, that is.  It's only natural that kids want to know who they biologically came from at some point in their lives).  My kid is mine.  Period.  I WOULDN"T ALLOW ANYTHING TO CHANGE THAT.  THAT"S WHAT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS SUPPOSED TO BE, ENRIQUE...

Finally, I imagine that several conditions must have existed for Enrique to be so cruel to the daughter he raised for ten years:  1) that he didn't really love her and 2) that he hated his wife so much for deceiving him that he preferred torturing his daughter in this way so as to punish the mother, (rather than seeing his daughter as the gift she is). Bottom line is that I would likely have divorced my wife and FOUGHT to keep my daughter(s)!  As for the poor daughter, I can't believe that now that she has another loving father in her life, Enrique decides that he wants and misses her....  REALLY?!? I  t took you YEARS to realize this, Enrique?!?  What a prince you are... You took the only father she had away from her (you), and now you don't want to give her a decent chance at a life with another man who DOES want to be her father and sees her as the blessing she is.  Something YOU couldn't do.  You've proven yourself completely unworthy of her.  Your "judgement" isn't the only thing that is bad.... YOU are! 

Loving eyes can never see. When I say the child in question I could  see that he was not the father. It is apparent that the father is black unless the girl has been in the sun for a very long time before she came on the show.The girls mother has a lot of nerve trying to insist that he pay support for a child that  is not his and the poor fool that she married this time had better rethink his decision. Run don"t walk as far away from this evil deluded woman as you can possibly get or u will be next. She has no character and by becoming a part of this vile and malious scheme which has been going on for 13 years I must question her new husbands character The smartest person in this sick ghetto mess is the real father who got away from this situation  years ago and has not been seen sense. Or has he ?  We could ask her but she would probably lie.