I am speaking from personal experience on this topic. My husband was married to a woman years ago. They had two children together. After the second child was born, he had a vasectomy. Well after he had the vasectomy, his wife became pregnant with a third child. He knew the child wasn't his and they actually ended up getting divorced due to her infidelity. However, because he is a good man, he was there for her throughout the pregnancy and with her when she gave birth. Even she admitted, she wasn't sure who the father was, because she was sleeping with several at that time. Unfortunately for him, even though he knew the child wasn't his, and she admitted it wasn't his, because they were still legally married, the state of Florida had a law that stated in the eyes of the law, he is the legal father and his name was listed on the birth certificate. So, for 18 years, he has paid child support for a child who is not biologically his. In fact, next week he will be making his final child support check on her. This is not the end of this story. When they first divorced, she wanted none of the children. However, he insisted she take the new baby because she was not his, and she was being breastfed. He took the older son and daughter. He had a great relationship with them, and also with the child who was not biologically his. He raised her as his own, even though she remained in her mother's custody her entire life. His ex-wife caused so many problems, I cannot even begin to go into them here without writing a novel. When their middle child, a daughter turned 12, his ex decided she wanted custody of her. Up until that time, she adored her father. She was a straight A student, never got into trouble or anything. However, when they went before the judge, the judge said a 12 year old girl had no business living with her father and should be with the mother. No further investigation, no concerns that she was involved in a violent marriage that the police had been called out to their home on numerous occassions for domestic violence, and no concerns for the fact that the stepfather had a very extensive violent criminal record. The judge only stated a daughter belonged with her mother. So, from that point on, both girls lived with the mother, and the son lived with my husband. The middle daughter drastically changed after going to live with her mother. She started hating her father. The children all hated us because when they were at their mother's, there were no rules, they were allowed to drink, smoke, have sex, anything they wanted. When they were with us, there were rules and they didn't like that. The middle daughter started failing school, had a drinking problem and numerous other issues. His ex allowed the then 15 year old daughter's 19 year old boyfriend to move in with them. Lets just say she is now 20 and has 3 children. His ex prevented my husband from having his court-ordered visitation. She denied him any contact with the children. Whenever we went to court to ask the judge for help, he would never intervene. He never would enforce his own court order that said he was to be allowed visitation every other weekend, during the summer and holidays. Basically, he was saying his own court order wasn't worth the paper it was written on. The only thing he would enforce was my husband continuing to pay child support on a child who was not his biologically because he was still legally married to the woman when she gave birth and by law, whether it was his child or not, he was considered the father. So, you tell me, where is the justice in that. We have paid child support on a child we have not been permitted any contact with in years. A child that is not his. Where is the real father? Why has he never been made to stand up and take responsibility for the child that is his. We too tried to stop having to pay child support, but were unsuccessful. Believe me, were my husband permitted to continue to have had a normal, healthy relationship with her, we would not have done that, but he was not. The child was told by her mother that he is not her real father and she wants nothing to do with him, all they want is his money.
I realize children are important, and we need to do right by them. But the right people need to be held responsible for doing right by them.
(Original Air Date: 10/29/07) Fraud. lies. conspiracy. They may sound like the latest Washington scandal, but these are allegations of exes at war over child support. Dr. Phil's guests claim they became victims of the perfect crime when they were led to believe they fathered a child that was not biologically their own and were forced to pay. First up, Enrique says he was shocked and angered to discover he was not the father of his youngest daughter, Selina, and that she was conceived during his ex-wife, Maria's, adulterous affair. Maria says he raised Selina but then abandoned her to save money. Why does Maria say Enrique's current wife is to blame for the fractured relationship? Next, 13-year-old Selina speaks one on one with Dr. Phil. Will she decide to let the man she once called Daddy back in her life? Then, Carnell Smith, who uses the online moniker, "Man4Justice," suffered a similar fate to Enrique, and but he fought and won. He says he's tired of seeing women trap men and get away with it. A heated debate ensues between him and feminist attorney, Gloria Allred, who argues that men like Enrique should continue to act as the father ... and continue paying! Talk about the show here.
