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Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

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Created on : Friday, October 26, 2007, 02:49:00 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/29/07) Fraud. lies. conspiracy. They may sound like the latest Washington scandal, but these are allegations of exes at war over child support. Dr. Phil's guests claim they became victims of the perfect crime when they were led to believe they fathered a child that was not biologically their own and were forced to pay. First up, Enrique says he was shocked and angered to discover he was not the father of his youngest daughter, Selina, and that she was conceived during his ex-wife, Maria's, adulterous affair. Maria says he raised Selina but then abandoned her to save money. Why does Maria say Enrique's current wife is to blame for the fractured relationship? Next, 13-year-old Selina speaks one on one with Dr. Phil. Will she decide to let the man she once called Daddy back in her life? Then, Carnell Smith, who uses the online moniker, "Man4Justice," suffered a similar fate to Enrique, and but he fought and won. He says he's tired of seeing women trap men and get away with it. A heated debate ensues between him and feminist attorney, Gloria Allred, who argues that men like Enrique should continue to act as the father ... and continue paying! Talk about the show here.


Find out what happened on the show.

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suthernthang24
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October 31, 2007, 7:40 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: suzanne2003

Shocking that someone would put money ahead of a child's welfare. The new wife is witchy and responsible for the injury to the child. Her focus was to do damage to the ex-wife and get finished paying child support. Awful person. I can't understand why the audience was clapping for her. Are they as insensive as she is?

Who said money was the main reason here? Point being...a man shouldn't pay support on another man's child. I read on someone's post something about, how about I buy a 50,000.00 car but YOU are going paying for it while I drive it and own it............would you do that???? Probably not! According to your thinking, though, you should.

The new wife isn't witchy..........you have no clue what her focus was...............she saw that her husband was being frauded and had every right in the world to suggest a DNA test.............

The ONLY person responsible for this child's injury is her mother, Maria..............after all, Mia didn't stick a gun to her head and make her cheat, make her get pregnant by someone other than her husband, nor did she make Maria LIE about the fact!
 
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suthernthang24
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October 31, 2007, 7:49 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: sammil23

I'm just absolutely amazed that these people were so focused on the money. And I'm including the "father", the wife, and even the audience and the male guest who favored the man who abandoned that poor little girl. How cold-hearted can people be?

If you ask that child, I can bet anyone that she couldn't care less about money. What she cares about is the fact that this heartless person abandoned her when she was a small child because he realized that they didn't share the same blood. SO WHAT? That is the child you held, said you loved, and cared for all those years. What kind of dirtbag leaves a child in that way? Who knew that a test result determined your love for a child!

Yes, the mother was wrong for lying. Does that make the man a victim as you said? No. He's an adult. He's not the victim. He's a pathetic excuse for life who couldn't care less about a child he once called his daughter, and then abandoned out of anger for the mother, and finds himself so focused on money, that he can't see how much he hurt and continues to hurt that child. And furthermore, HE of all people, thinks he has a right to be concerned about the possible adoption? SERIOUSLY? Somebody has a few screws loose. Sorry buddy, you lost that right to determine what goes on in that girl's life the moment you stepped out for asinine reasons.

Why didn't anybody mention that the real victim was the child? The child who now has to live with the fact that the man who she knew as her father abandonded her because MONEY was more important than their relationship. I sincerely hope that she never lets him back into her life. Who knows when she'll need him and he'll leave her again.

He should be ashamed. What a pathetic excuse for a human being. And what a pathetic follower for a wife, supporting a "man" for doing that to an innocent little child. Those crocodile tears he shed didn't fool me, and I hope they didn't fool anyone else either.

He should be ashamed?????? Yeah, maybe he could have handled things differently, but he is remorseful.  Have you ever stopped to think that there probably wouldn't have even been a relationship with this child because once he found out she cheated, he probably would have walked away!! I guess you think it's alright for a woman like Maria to MAKE the choice for a man to stay in a child's life who isn't his.

What is pathetic is that Maria withheld this info and created this whole mess to begin with!!!! What's just as pathetic is people who think it's okay to FRAUD other people. I guess if someone committed ID theft on you.......you know, bought all these things in YOUR name and then expected you to pay for it, it would be okay, right? After all, it's just money, right? That shouldn't matter, huh?
 
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ph4179
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October 31, 2007, 7:56 pm PDT

10/29 PARENT TRAP

Quote From: suthernthang24

At least Enrique is remorseful for his actions.

Mia has every right to speak. It is her husband who was being frauded. She instigated nothing. There would be nothing to instigate, as you call it, had Maria been honest to being with. I don't understand what people don't get....Enrique had every right in the world to know the truth, as does the child. I don't think she had motives.............just say she did though..................regardless if she did and it would make no difference..........either way, Enrique had a right to know.

Carnell was a victim. Carnell was just doing what was right.........he paid support and took a women's word for it........it has nothing to do with the law investigating the bad taste in women or whether she is truthful...........it has everything to do with a woman telling a man he is the father knowing good and well he isn't.

It does need to be the law's responsibility in investigating whether a woman is truthful.........and that would be by a DNA test.

The idea of  it being the law's responsibility for a couple's DNA unless a couple request it, isplacing the responsiblity where it doesn't belong.  I don't think that Enrique acted right at all about the child but at the same time I don't believe just because he did not ask for a DNA test when they first got married was  stupid nor wrong.  Not many women would like for their new husbands or boyfriends to request for a DNA test.  If it was a law that all men got tested everytime their wives got pregnant, well, it would  open a whole new coupe counseling.

As fo the mother, she should not want any money from her ex and it should be up to her to fix the broken relationship.  She sort of moved on and has someone else shoulder her reponsibilty just like she did the first time.  While I am not realy crazy about Enrique, she wins the worst mom of the year.
 
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suthernthang24
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October 31, 2007, 7:59 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: laney9999

This is such an unfortunate situatuion! However, how can someone just walk away from a little girt that he raised for 10 years?  If it were not for Erique's new wife, he would still believe that Selina was his daughter.  If he questioned her paternity it should have certainly been at birth.  Not 10 years later!  You can not just stop being a father as he did.  Yes Maria may have not been truthful from the beginning but why punish a child for her mothers doings, and this seems just what Mia wants Erique to do.  Yet Selina is the one whom has taken the punishment.  Erique should pay child support for Selina and continue to do so and be her father until she was of legal age and then discuss with her the situation should it arose. 

 

I particularly did not like Carnell Smith.  Why did he fight his ex after 11 years of child support, what was his excuse for not doing so immediately when the child was born?

 

Any man whom has acted as a father to a child for x-amount of YEARS should certainly continue to do so.  If there should be any reason of disbelief of paternity it should be taken care of within the first 2 years of life, not a decade later...... 

 

 Sorry for all you men out there that may have this problem, but for any reason of disbelief take care as soon as possible.  We have to MANY children in this country that the fathers evade child support and there are far to many children in this country that will never know whom their fathers are because of the mothers many partners and unable to find the true paternity.  Whom pays for all of these children?  We do, the taxpayers!

If not for Enrique's wife, he wouldn't have known he was being frauded by his ex!

He wouldn't even be in this situation had Maria been honest from day 1.

No man should ever have to pay support on a child that isn't his. Why should he?

Most men don't find out until after 2 years is up..........it doens't matter what the reason or how the reason that they found out........the fact IS, is when they do find out, they should get all their support money repaid to them. Have you ever thought there NEVER would have been a bond to begin with had they known it wasn't their child? You think it's okay for a women to MAKE that choice for a man? Should a man have the right to make that choice for THEMSELVES???

I guess you think it's okay for a woman to go after a man 10 years later for child support when he had no clue he even had a child and be made to pay back support? Well, it happens..............they give a man 2 years to contest paternity but a woman has a lifetime to name a man as a father..........this has nothing to do with fathers evading child support.............if they ARE the father, then they SHOULD pay...........but ONLY if they are the father!
 
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sportyster
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October 31, 2007, 8:03 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: christab

Why would I, or anybody else for that matter, intentionally get involved with someone who wouldn't put me first in their life?

 

You bet your @ss I'm not selfish..I JUST KNOW MY WORTH and it is not to be second to anybody.

 

I am pretty sure that even Dr Phil said somewhere that the marriage comes first.  If it doesn't, everything else fails because there is no foundation.

 

So you go a head and put your kids first and I'm sure we'll see you and your soon to be ex-husband on Dr Phil a few years from now talking about how you don't know where it went wrong.

 

Mark my words.... 

 Wow I sure hope that you never have children.  Loving parents do in fact put their children first, above themselves and anyone else in their lives.  That is what unconditional love is, if you had a choice of saving your child or yourself or your husband what choice would you make?  I'm guessing you'd save yourself.
 
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suthernthang24
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October 31, 2007, 8:09 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: mc1960

How sad that Mia felt so out of control that she had to bring this up to Enrique and keeps insisting that Maria be "sorry" for her "wrong".  Mia is the root of the difficulties because she just couldn't accept paying child support to Enrique's children.  Mia knew these children existed prior to her marriage to Enrique but apparently is so jealous of Enrique that she is taking advantage of a sad reality.  So what that Enrique is paying child support for Selina.  He SHOULD!  He accepted this child and at some level he probably knew that she might not be his but never questioned it until some money had to go out of his pocket.  Mia needs some serious counseling to work through her anger and jealousy and Enrique needs to stop this woman from destorying whats left of his life.  He needs to be the one to step up and say, I love this child and will do what is right by her even if she isn't mine.

Maria knew her husband was being frauded and had every right to suggest a DNA test. Doesn't matter if she knew these children existed prior to her marriage.............doesn't matter at all.

You actually think it's okay for a man to be tricked into paying support on a child that isn't his? He was lied to in the beginning. He would have walked away I'm sure and there never would have been a bond to begin with. But I guess you are the type of person who thinks it is okay for a man to have that choice MADE for him, instead of letting the man make the choice whether to stay in the child's life or not!

If Mia needs any counseling, it's probably to learn how to deal with such a loser like Maria and all the hurt Maria has caused to her family!
 
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ph4179
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October 31, 2007, 8:10 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: gunnarsmom

I cannot believe that  a woman could actually take money from a man who did not father her child and then try to justify it. He would not have been in this situation to begin with if she had been honest from the start. I do not think that he handled the situation right.  I think she knew that she would get more money from him because he is a doctor. I think that she should have to pay back all of the money that she has taken from this man.
Gloria Allred  ddn't seem to be on the right show  What she said had nothing to do with the case  they were talkig about.  I  have a husband tha pays child suport and  no love for him so I could be anti-man very easy but not in this case.  And where was Dr. Phil, it seemed he was trying  to score points with Allred instead of helping te child or the ex.  And why did he seem to be on the side of the woman that started all this.  Believe me, it a man didn't pay child support, he would lose his license, tax refunds, and go to jail.  What bout her?
 
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aisydaisy
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October 31, 2007, 8:17 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: suthernthang24

At least Enrique is remorseful for his actions.

Mia has every right to speak. It is her husband who was being frauded. She instigated nothing. There would be nothing to instigate, as you call it, had Maria been honest to being with. I don't understand what people don't get....Enrique had every right in the world to know the truth, as does the child. I don't think she had motives.............just say she did though..................regardless if she did and it would make no difference..........either way, Enrique had a right to know.

Carnell was a victim. Carnell was just doing what was right.........he paid support and took a women's word for it........it has nothing to do with the law investigating the bad taste in women or whether she is truthful...........it has everything to do with a woman telling a man he is the father knowing good and well he isn't.

It does need to be the law's responsibility in investigating whether a woman is truthful.........and that would be by a DNA test.

Too bad that remorse cannot undo the emotional catastrophe they have wrecked on this child! Maria, Enrique, AND MIA!

 

This is not Mia’s fight!  Selena will resent her if she doesn’t already. Let’s just destroy this child’s life completely!

 

I don’t know where I said that I didn’t think Enrique deserves to know the truth.  I never said any such thing.  He does deserve to know.  But he has NO RIGHT to exact a devastating attack on that child just because he thought he was wronged by Maria. Exact your revenge on the person that deserves it.  The child is blameless.  She is the only one in this bunch. Selena will never forget it and probably will never forgive him.

 

The law protects men in Mr. Smith’s situation.  He had the right to request confirmation on his paternity when he had to pay child support.  If he did not take advantage of it, he has noone to blame but himself. He is standing there feeling betrayed by the System.  The system provides men with the right to make sure that the child he is paying support for is his.  This was the reason why he had to continue to pay support.  If he didn’t take advantage of his right, he cannot expect the law to get him out of the jam he put himself into by first sleeping with that harpy and then not getting the DNA test!  I agree, she should somehow be punished.  Duh! Look at what Maria did and who more deserving than her!  However, I do not feel bad for him.  Next time he will remember to not be so trusting and get the DNA test.  I’m sure he is kicking himself about it.

 

Maria, you embarrass yourself and you embarrass me as a woman and as a Latina.  
 
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October 31, 2007, 8:25 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: jelebean1

Are you saying it is more the woman's responsibility to provide and take care of the child?
 Sadly that is the thought process of many many men and that is why there are so many dead beat dads out there. I don't for one moment condone Maria nor any other women that would use their child as a bargaining chip but lets realize one thing here.  North Americans can thank all the dead beat dads out there for all the harsh and strict rules in place for the men that are stand up dads.  The courts want to make dead beats pay and in the process good men get punished right along with them.

Advice to men, instead of being bitter if you seperate from your child's mother, make reasonable payment arrangements with the mothers instead of waiting for them to hit the courts first.  Advice to women out there, don't be bitter if you and your man seperate and develope a "make him pay" mentality.  Accept any reasonable payment arrangements before considering running to the courts.  This type of cooperation would benefit the ones that count most and that is the child.
 
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October 31, 2007, 8:31 pm PDT

You are 110% RIGHT

Quote From: terrazas1

No matter who you believe is at fault here, we need DNA testing at birth to prevent these types of situations. Call or write your representative and let them know your thoughts on the topic!

I stand by my decision to tell Enrique my thoughts. I don't feel any obligation go cover for someone else's lies.

Thank you all for your posts. It certainly is very thought provoking!

Mia

Mia,

 

You are absolutely right in what you did.  How could any good human being stand by and let someone they love be defrauded?  I urged my ex to take a DNA test b/c I could see straight through the lies of his ex-wife. 

 

It caused an unbelievable amount of pain to the both of us.  All the while, the mother was just as smug as Maria.  It makes me so angry just thinking about it.  It is a sad world that we live in where a court system will reward women for having affairs and children out of wedlock.

 

I have sent letters to my representatives and also to the Attorney General.  I have never received a response and there are still no laws that I am aware of in the state of Texas to protect innocent men like Enrique and my ex.  I can tell that Enrique was/is a good father.  He is not to blame for any of this and it is important for him to know that he did the right thing.  The legal system has left him with no other choice.  I am certain that he would have continued an emotional relationship with Selena if he had not been court ordered to pay child support.  It is beyond me that a judge would order payments to a mother who has defrauded the court.

 

When there are children involved in a divorce, the mother is asked if the child is of the marriage.  When the mother says yes, and the father is NOT the father, it should considered perjury.  In my case, my ex was duped the father when they divorced and he became the "adjudicated" father.  He NEVER would have married the mother in the first place if he knew that it was not his child.  He thought he got her pregnant and that was the ONLY reason he married her to begin with.

 

I honestly feel that people like Maria and my ex's ex-wife will burn in hell.  It's right where they belong.

 

 
 
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