Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

Number of Replies: 3784
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Created on : Friday, October 26, 2007, 02:49:00 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/29/07) Fraud. lies. conspiracy. They may sound like the latest Washington scandal, but these are allegations of exes at war over child support. Dr. Phil's guests claim they became victims of the perfect crime when they were led to believe they fathered a child that was not biologically their own and were forced to pay. First up, Enrique says he was shocked and angered to discover he was not the father of his youngest daughter, Selina, and that she was conceived during his ex-wife, Maria's, adulterous affair. Maria says he raised Selina but then abandoned her to save money. Why does Maria say Enrique's current wife is to blame for the fractured relationship? Next, 13-year-old Selina speaks one on one with Dr. Phil. Will she decide to let the man she once called Daddy back in her life? Then, Carnell Smith, who uses the online moniker, "Man4Justice," suffered a similar fate to Enrique, and but he fought and won. He says he's tired of seeing women trap men and get away with it. A heated debate ensues between him and feminist attorney, Gloria Allred, who argues that men like Enrique should continue to act as the father ... and continue paying! Talk about the show here.


Find out what happened on the show.



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November 2, 2007, 7:23 pm PDT

I totally agree with you

Quote From: lunaambrosia

It is so ridiculous how far we think we've come, when we keep going backwards.  I feel like I should say that I am a woman with these views.

Nowadays, women have so many rights that men can't even fathom.  They have the right to choose: Abstinence, Birth Control, Adoption, Abortion, or they can choose to have the baby. Men have no rights whatsoever.  In cases where they never wanted the child, they are forced to support it.  Of course, this brings up multiple arguments, such as they never should have had sex, etc.  It is all irrelevant to this issue.  Both parties agreed to engage in sexual relations, and only one of them can choose the outcome. It's time for change.  We need a more balanced scale here. 

 

The fact that a woman can lie to a man for years, look into her daughters eyes KNOWING that the man she calls Daddy isn't really her biological father... It's despicable.  It is the epitome of deceitfulness.  That man has absolutely no financial obligation to pay child support for another man's child.   He be able to make the decision to stay in her life, but he shouldn't feel forced to pay her way.  I do feel that he also should be able to get the mother for fraud, because when everything else is washed away, that is all this is.

 

Again, it's way past time for some change: more equality, and consequences for the actions of mothers like Maria who make the rest of us women, including upstanding fathers look bad. 

I see alot of the going back and forth abut this show.  What we all need to do is email DR. PHIL and have him have another show about this and contact other show like his to have the same thing open this up to the all the states and networks so that it heard all over and that this is a state to state epidemic and just isolated to a few fathers.  look most of us non bio dads dont have the money to fight this to be honest were dragged down to nothingness financially.  Were losing our liscences and were just trying to have a life.  something need to be done.  I have tried to research my state to find help but right now there is no one in my state to do this.
 
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November 2, 2007, 7:34 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: cissie88

Go back and read ALL my posts on this. I NEVER said that I agree with Maria or what she did to Enrique wasn't terrible. What she did and how she acted on the show was despicable. I still feel that what Enrique did in telling Selina like he did and abandoning her was and still is WRONG. She was a CHILD and he was supposed to be an ADULT. He handled it all wrong. As for all the remorse he has shown well it's just too little and too late. Funny how YOU as a mother choose to ignore Selina's feelings and keep on railing about how unfair it is to Enrique. Lady, life ain't fair. But it's how you choose to handle  the unfairness you have been dealt that shows your true character. We all know how Enrique handled it, don't we?

As for Carnell HE SHOULD have asked for a parternity test as soon as that baby was born. So he had sex with the mother, that didn't make him the father now did it? Why should he have been able to take her word for it? I surely wouldn't take the word of an EX.  Point being, PEOPLE DO LIE.

And I also said Enrique could have handled it better but he is remorseful and NO it isn't too late. You don't know how he felt when he found out that kind of news. 

 Read my posts, I haven't ignored Selina's feelings. I do feel bad for the child, but as you said "life isn't fair".

Selina will have to deal with what happened and either make ammends with him, or not.

And you're right about how you choose to handle a situation you're dealt with that shows your true character.........we see how the child is handling it..........she isn't sure she wants anything to do with Enrique.....what does that show?  Could it be that she is HURT and is acting the way she is?? Could it be that her mother COACHED everything that came out of her mouth? No one seems to blame her for her actions.....She is 13 years old now...so what? She is old enough to forgive and is old enough to be responsible for her actions, and put her hurt aside, just like everyone says Enrique should have.

You're right, people lie, and people also make bad decisions in life. Again, Enrique should NEVER have been put in the position he's in and wouldn't have had Maria been honest.  

 
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November 2, 2007, 7:39 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: cissie88

There is no such word as FRAUDED. It is DEFRAUDED!!!

Who cares? Most people here know what I mean. Are you going to make this board about you pointing out that I write FRAUDED in my posts instead of DEFRAUDED......

I'm sure most people on here really don't care. 

But let me make one thing clear one more time just in case...................

Maria DEFRAUDED Enrique.

 
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November 2, 2007, 8:09 pm PDT

For Real ...

Quote From: lunaambrosia

It is so ridiculous how far we think we've come, when we keep going backwards.  I feel like I should say that I am a woman with these views.

Nowadays, women have so many rights that men can't even fathom.  They have the right to choose: Abstinence, Birth Control, Adoption, Abortion, or they can choose to have the baby. Men have no rights whatsoever.  In cases where they never wanted the child, they are forced to support it.  Of course, this brings up multiple arguments, such as they never should have had sex, etc.  It is all irrelevant to this issue.  Both parties agreed to engage in sexual relations, and only one of them can choose the outcome. It's time for change.  We need a more balanced scale here. 

 

The fact that a woman can lie to a man for years, look into her daughters eyes KNOWING that the man she calls Daddy isn't really her biological father... It's despicable.  It is the epitome of deceitfulness.  That man has absolutely no financial obligation to pay child support for another man's child.   He be able to make the decision to stay in her life, but he shouldn't feel forced to pay her way.  I do feel that he also should be able to get the mother for fraud, because when everything else is washed away, that is all this is.

 

Again, it's way past time for some change: more equality, and consequences for the actions of mothers like Maria who make the rest of us women, including upstanding fathers look bad. 

Amen!!!

 

I am self-sufficient woman myself, and it is embarrassing to see how some women are capable of using and manipulating men - and worst of all, using their children to achieve their goals.

 

And it always happens to the BEST men - the ones who just want to do the right thing, thereby openeing themselves up to fraud.

 

How can those women lay their heads on their pillows at night?  They set us back 40 years, doing anything to get someone to take of them instead of taking care of themselves.

 
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November 2, 2007, 8:48 pm PDT

Show was too short

An hour long show was just way too short to deal with a very complex subject. Clearly, Selina's welfare is of paramount concern. But, what about the alleged biological father.? I'm certain that the viewing and studio audiences want to know his identity and his views on the issue concernng  his alleged child and why HE isn't paying child support. And, why HE isn't involved with hisdaughter's life. Hopefully, there will be a follow up show.

 
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November 2, 2007, 9:09 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: jjs8190

I am a minister...and I don't know where your quote come from. Where is this in the Bible? " 

"Abstinence before marriage, complete monogamy after. " Der.

 

I can appreciate your anger about this situation, if it come from a place of responding to the child's losses. But how does your comments relate to the child and her loses? Consider the young girl who has lost so much. As a parent, my heart goes out to her. The adults are the problem here.

 

By the way, the reasons for the tests you mentioned are to protect your children...not to declare paternity. The diseases that the baby is tested for could be acquired in many ways aside from risky behaviors, or infidelity.

It wasn't a quote...those are usually represented by...quotation marks. (Like the ones you added when quoting me) It was a paraphrase. Except the "der" part...there I was just being obnoxious, and trying to be funny.

If you haven't seen something like that in the Bible, I'm a little concerned about you ministering to other people. It's kinda in the basics...ten commandments....sermon on the mount. I'm happy to send you references if you need them. (now I'm being condescending)

Plus...I'm not angry. I agree that the adults are the problem, the choices made by the adults...hence my comment.

I was making a general reference to the moral decay in society. I was trying to be less preachy, instead of saying...if people would just quit fooling around before marriage,and be faithful to their spouse after marriage, like God said, then this wouldn't be a problem. But I didn't want to offend.

The tests I'm refering to are for diseases that ARE acquired by risky behaviors, and VERY rarely otherwise. They test ME when I'm pregnant...not the baby. And, they test me for them for each pregnancy, even though I can assure them that I have not been exposed since the last time I was tested, but they are "standard". (I'm quoting the doctor, not the Bible) So, I have to pay for them. They have nothing to do with paternity, and that part of your comment just confused me. 

 
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November 2, 2007, 9:58 pm PDT

WHAT A SHAME

THE MOTHER SHOWED NO KIND OF EMOTIONS OR REMORSE WHATSOEVER. SHE IS THE BAD ONE, BUT IS TRYING TO MAKE ENRIQUE OUT TO BE THE BAD GUY.   WHERE IS THE BIOLOGICAL FATHER AT?  I THINK HE NEEDS TO BE PAYING CHILD SUPPORT.  ENRIQUE NEEDS TO BOND HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH SELINA AND CONTINUE BEING A FATHER FIGURE IN HER LIFE.  AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED THE MOTHER DOES NOT DESERVE ANY CHILD SUPPORT.
 
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November 2, 2007, 10:51 pm PDT

Brilliant ...

Quote From: cissie88

Carnell was a victim alright.... of his own stupidity. He of all people should have gotten a DNA test. I certainly wouldn't just take my ex's word that a child belonged to me. IF they had been married I could understand him believing her, but they were not even seeing each other at the time. VICTIM no, SUCKER yes.

Your ability to analyze what other people should have done in their past after seeing the outcome of their future is BRILLIANT.

 

But until personally experiencing the painful effects of paternity fraud (via my boyfriend), I'm sure I could have told everyone what they should have done, too.

 

 
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November 3, 2007, 12:32 am PDT

parenthood

Quote From: vixiex

Fathers are more than a checkbook.  I don't think he should have to pay if he isn't the biological father - especially since he's been lied to this whole time.  HOWEVER, if he's raised this child and is the Dad that the child knows - I would assume there is love between the two of them.  That relationship should continue. 

 

Biology has less to do with parenthood than love, trust, teaching and caring that comes from that relationship.  "Anyone can be a father - but it takes someone special to be a Dad"

 

Just my 2 cents.

 i agreee that he should not have to pay child support if child is not his. that should be his decision if he wants to contribute financially to her mother. the BIOLOGICAL father is responsible for the expenses.WHERE IS HE AT????  I think the 'step-dad' role is very important in this situation as he has been only dad she had known for 9 yrs. he WAS wrong in cutting her out of his life for all that time but he seems to have realized his errors. I hope they can get to a good place in their relationship and work on rebuilding some fo that bond even though will not be same as before.

 

I find fault with the mother for keeping this secret from everyone involved. She is person that holds the biggest of the blame. How can anyone do that to their own child??/

 

 

i know someone that has been paying support on child for 16 yrs and in back of their mind not sure if his son or not but to this day has not tried to find out. he feels that no matter what he is his son and will not do anything to break that bond.

 

I WISH THE BEST TO ALL OF THIS FAMILY.

 

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November 3, 2007, 6:50 am PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: kimberlykee

Your ability to analyze what other people should have done in their past after seeing the outcome of their future is BRILLIANT.

 

But until personally experiencing the painful effects of paternity fraud (via my boyfriend), I'm sure I could have told everyone what they should have done, too.

 

When my son was  a junior in highschool his former gilfriend tried to pull that on him.....this was 1992, and I told him

then "If you are responsible we'll stand by you and help. But first we're gonna find out if you are." It's simple LOGIC to question the motives of a bitter and angry ex. I don't just blindly believe what I'm told.

Enriue's situation is different.

 

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