Topic : 12/25 Parent Trap

Just what defines a "daughter" to you???  Just genetics???  You'll have to fight society on that... Even our society RECOGNIZES the relationship and responsibilities of those who PARENT a child - biological or not!

Not really.  I think he just may want equal time with her to avoid paying child support... I know at least a few who share custody (even though their children are an inconvenience to them) just to avoid paying support - I know this because it was their STATED STRATEGY.  I don't have any reason to believe that a man who abandoned his daughter has a more noble goal...

She is, of course.  The child LIVES with her.  You think that's free???  HE needs to contribute as well.  You keep missing THAT point...

Terribin:

Don't support the lie.   Maria and other women like her are criminals hiding behind their children.  There can only be adoped children (someone you knowingly took charge of) or your biological children.  There should not be a catagory for people who lie.  Enrique pays far more than the cost to raise a child in child support.  Maria lived with the biological father while they collected child support and free child care for Selina, um excuse me for pointing out the obvious but perhaps he (bio daddy) should be paying?  Oh, I forgot, he doesn't make as much as Enrique. What a surprise!  Maria has a history of taking advantage of people and lieing.  I know her, and she has left many victims in her wake, not just Selina and Enrique......What does it teach our children if we support someone who lies for money?  It should be treated like any other fraud!!!  If you don't think it's a big deal and you are so concerned for Selina's mother being able to support her lifestyle - perhaps you would like to cough up the money every month!  If not ,you've really not go much to say.  It's people like you saying the money is no big deal driving to Walmart to save 5 cents on garbage bags.....it really makes me sick and you have no place saying Enrique should support someone else's child when he was lied to.

 Just so you know - the good and honest poeple of this country are passing laws to make this type of fraud against the law.  Many people have taken women like Maria to civil court and have won judgments against the women who have collected money under false pretenses.  Look at this board; most of the people do not think Enrique should have to support another man's child because he was lied to for a certain number of years.  Most of the people of this board can see cleary that Maria is nothing more than a common criminal and have no respect for her whatsoever.  Most people would think $3,000 a month is more than enough to support the child and that Maria is only collecting "MOMMY SUPPORT".  When these laws are changed people like Maria will no longer be able to lie to their children about who daddy is or about the correct health history. 

Yes, these children need to be supported by the parents who created them NOT by the husband who was cheated on and lied to.  It's so sad that people like Maria don't care who foots the bill for a lifestyle they can't afford on their own.  She was women enough to have the affair, she should be women enough to pay her own bills!  I have no respect for anyone who would lie.....how can you sink any lower than to lie to your own child and everyone around you purely for the benefit of having more money?  DON'T SUPPORT THE LIE AND SHAME ON YOU IF YOU DO!!!  

In the next couple of years, DNA tests will be taken at all live births to establish paternity.  Women will no longer be able to name any man as the father because he makes more money or she because doesn't know who daddy is.  Why reward liars like Maria???  PERHAPS MARIA SHOULD GET AN EDUCATION ABOVE 3RD GRADE AND GET A JOB TO SUPPORT HER OWN CHILDREN INSTEAD OF MAKING HER LIVING OFF THE BACK OF AN HONEST MAN BY LIEING AND HURTING EVERYONE AROUND HER!!!

It seems as if we live in a world where men are suckers with no rights. It's bad enough that this poor man was deceived, but to have the audacity to claim financial support is simply outrageous. I watched this show and there is not an ounce of remorse on that woman's face. In fact she looks pretty smug in succeeding to con him for all this time. It's a disgrace!

 

I pity that little girl and the manner in which he handled it, but in his defence, it's not a situation that people are faced with every day. It was simply a reaction without forethought. He should do everything he can to reestablish a relationship with her,  but not be forced to pay a cent more than he already has. He should be reimbursed for all these years when he unwittingly paid for another man's child. At this stage the mother is causing both the child and her ex husband further pain with her blackmail tactics. She's basically saying that if he refuses to accept financial responsibility he is forefeiting visitation rights. How long does she want to continue torturing this poor guy?

 

If I had to do that to a man I doubt if I'd have the guts to show my face in public.

There is definitely a HE in this equation, it takes two to tango, the only problem is that this HE is the wrong one. She lied and deceived him and now she's she's acting like the victim. No person should be treated like he is, whether they be male, female, with or without children she must take responsibility for her actions. Why hasn't she tried to contact the real father? Is it because she doesn't know who he is?

 

The real father deserves to know he has a daughter

The daughter deserves to know who her real father is, one reason being possible hereditary diseases

The real father needs to step up to the plate and be a man instead of letting another man pay for his child

 

All the pain that poor girl is experiencing is because her mother caused it 13 years ago. If the roles were reversed and I were a man, I would definitely be crushed to know that not only has my wife cheated on me but I'm also paying for her lies.

Paternity test kits are the latest example of how genetics testing is pushing into the consumer marketplace, fueling competition not only in paternity issues but also in ancestry research (many purchasers are adults who still have questions about who their parents are or were).  Genetic paternity tests are widely available online.  Experts are warning consumers that some laboratories doing the testing are not required to meet federal or any genetic testing standards.

 

Over-the-counter test kits are now available.  These over-the-counter test kits are now available in some local stores - except those in New York, where state law requires a court order or medical prescription. 

 

www.dnatesting.com 

The kits cost about $30. They contain cotton swabs for taking cells from inside the mouth, which are then placed in sealed plastic bags and sent with a consent form and an additional fee to an accredited lab.  Results are available in three to five days and can be accessed online.  Assuming that the information listed on the form sent in with paternity kits is correct, the test is 99.9 percent accurate for paternity. 

The tests cannot be used in legal proceedings because there is no verification that the samples come from the people who are listed on the forms sent to the laboratory. Legally valid tests cost about $350 with Identigene. 

 

With some paternity tests advertised on the Web for as little as $89.  Buy from a company whose laboratory is accredited for crime scene processing and by the American Association of Blood Banks, which set standards for handling and processing samples.

 

Hope it helps!

 

 

I am a new victim of this parent trap and had to find out the hard way that after being married for 10 years 1 of my 2 children has none of my DNA.

 

I don’t know if anger has any part of this situation, but having knowledge that my soon to be ex wife was taking fertility medication at the time to correct a problem with her body in order to have a baby, and armed with a schedule for conception and medication, this goes far beyond deception and lack of remorse, but into and act of pure Machiavellian.

 

Knowing my ex has no real concern for my children’s well being I am working as hard a possible to keep my bond with my children at tight as possible and will never turn on them.

I do feel however I should not be financially responsible, and that my ex and third party who my ex knows is the bio donor should be held responsible financially, reason being they both knew and felt it was fine and also funny to just lie about this situation.

 

I pay a great deal of money in child support and will continue to do so forever, but I will try and make the other parties pay as long as it does not affect my visitation and status of being the father, for I will never give up that right and will pay what ever it takes to maintain my status.

 

NEVER turn on the children, they have nothing to do with this situation and need your love and support. My child is still young and is unaware of his possible identity crisis, I am working hard to make sure that I retrofit my child by building his self esteem and teaching and showing great amounts of empathy so he will be better suited to deal with this situation when the day comes when he is informed.

 

Anyone on this situation my heart goes out to you, but really, its not that big a deal (not what the mother did, its just wrong and horrible, and god is going to want some answers from her later), but does biology even matter. This is where one proves what the word DAD means and what it is to really be a father . What if the roles were reversed, would you want the guy you have been calling DAD for years to give up on you, I sure wouldn’t.

Here in Sweden, the childsupport is to the child, to make their life as positive as possible, it´s not for the mother.

I understand all the difficulties in this issue but I have to say that I feel that if he has been taking care of the child for ten years he ought to be willing to make her life positive.

The mother can´t use the money for things for anyone but Selina so he should be ashamed not being willing to continue to make her life positive!