Message Boards

Topic : 07/04 Body Dysmorphia

Number of Replies: 289
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, October 26, 2007, 02:52:19 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/30/07) When most women gaze in the mirror, they may bemoan a blemish here or a wrinkle there. Imagine staring at your reflection for over two hours and hating your face so much that you never leave the house. Dr. Phil’s guests say they are prisoners to body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), a preoccupation with a real or imagined physical defect. Diana, 28, has been suffering with BDD for over 13 years. She’s undergone over 50 permanent make-up procedures –- eye liner, lips and eyebrows –- and didn’t leave her home for two years because she thinks she looks like a monster. Her mother, Guadalupe, and her sister, Liz, say it’s painful to watch Diana deteriorate before their eyes. Find out the shocking event Diana believes caused her condition. Then, 17 year-old Cheyenne used to win beauty pageants, but now believes that she’s an ugly, overweight girl with thunder thighs. She takes several hours to get ready for school in the morning, and constantly picks at her arm hair and lips. Her mom, Bobette, wonders if she’s the cause of her daughter’s bad feelings. Does Cheyenne really have BDD, or is something else affecting her? Share your thoughts here.


Find out what happened on the show.


As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

October 27, 2007, 10:49 am CDT

Doctor Phil Show

Body Doctor Dysmorphia Phil. I never heard of it before. But I will see on Tuesday October 30th, 2007.-------

See you on Wednesday October 31st, 2007. (Halloween.)Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.----------------

 
October 27, 2007, 11:42 am CDT

I know how they feel

I know just how these ladies feel.  I have not spoken about this outside of my immediate family until now.    When I was younger, I was teased about being ugly, even by my own siblings.  When I reached my twenties and men found me attractive, I began to think I was and my confidence rose.  One of the men I dated was very attractive and my sister wondered why he was dating me and not her because 'she was better looking.'  I soon moved away from the negative forces in my life and I went back to college in my 30's and became an LPN.  That also helped my confidence.    Now I am 53 and disabled due to toxic chemicals that I was exposed to at work. I rarely go out in public.  Not only because of my fear of exposure to products that make me sick, but also because I no longer resemble the woman I once was.  I have gained 50 pounds since I became ill.  I think I am a fat ugly pig.  I initially gained weight when I was put on several courses of steroids due to health problems and have been unable to get the weight off, even though I walked all summer long with little success.  Exercise for me in the wintertime is hard because I also have CFIDS and fibromyalgia which seem to worsen in the cold winter months.   I was recently diagnosed with heart and lung problems and even walking leaves me short of breath, so I now wear oxygen. I do have a treadmill, but rarely use it, because trying to avoid the oxygen tubing is also a pain.   I have thought of plastic surgery, but after a woman I used to work with mentioned she was trying to find help to remove excess skin from her abdomen after gastric bypass, I gave up my dream of having plastic surgery to help her.   I am alone all day long and have minimal conversation with my husband at night because he comes home long enough to eat, watch an hour or two of TV and then he's off to bed.  My 'friends' are limited to my internet.  I have other family members that live nearby, but they are busy with their lives, so I do not see them either unless we run into each other accidentally.   That's my life and I am so tired of it.  I want to feel good about myself again, but whenever I look in the mirror or step on the scales, I hate myself all over again.
 
October 27, 2007, 4:28 pm CDT

10/30 Body Dysmorphia

Great topic.  I've dealt with an often crippling form of this since I was 14, never wearing my hair up, not looking at people while I'm speaking so I can't see what I will interpret as their negative reaction to my physical appearance, dropping out of college classes so people can't see me, and once not leaving my house for 6 months because I 'couldn't get my eyebrows to fix'.  The inability to verbally communicate with people for fear they're harshly judging my face has been the toughest aspect of this affliction.  I'm coping better these days, though I've been a model in the past and I'm complimented almost daily (without prompting),  I still don't feel pretty.  I hope to hear some great advice in dealing and strategies to overcome this pschological straight-jacket from Dr. Phil! 

 
October 27, 2007, 4:31 pm CDT

This is very familiar

I believe this is what I have.  I constantly pick at my face and express what ever I can from my pores. My mother used to do this to me when I was a child and I find I can not stop.  I sometimes feel like I am a prisoner to my mirror. I also have hair growing on my chin and tried to have it permanently removed years ago to no avail, thru electrolysis. What a waste of money.  But now I am obsessed with plucking it and looking for facial abnormalities.  I hate that I do this, but can't seem to stop.  I was once on antidepressants and felt better but since losing my health insurance I haven't been able to afford medications either. I like alone, and don't leave the house much, mostly because it is a concert effort just to pick up after myself and dress.  When I work it seems i only leave the house to earn money so that I can head home and close off the world.  I really don't think I like life anymore.  I am anxious to watch this program as Dr. Phil has helped so many people with his show.  I hope I take away some real insight as to why I do this.
 
October 27, 2007, 5:10 pm CDT

By any name it's the same

Self esteem is a slippery slope. It doesn't take much to ruin it.

My daughter, a beautiful bright 5 year old started kindergarten. A jealous classmate started putting her down. Criticizing everything about her. The next thing I knew, my beautiful daughter started pulling her hair out. Then it was her eyebrows, finishing with her eyelashes. Finally  Duke University Dr. Grant diagnosed it as Trichitllomania.  Essentially a result of low self esteem. With several years of therapy and great angst on her mother's part, her self esteem recovered. All of the lost hair has replaced itself, thank goodness, and I have my beautiful daughter back again. But she still worries when criticized, and has developed a defensive attitude with  a sharp tongue.

Low self esteem brought on by ridicule is lethal. Lots of help is needed to overcome the devastation. If you know someone hurting with this problem, be kind to them.

 
October 28, 2007, 8:55 am CDT

Maybe Robin McGraw's sister could give us advice.

Quote From: traumaqueen45

I know just how these ladies feel.  I have not spoken about this outside of my immediate family until now.    When I was younger, I was teased about being ugly, even by my own siblings.  When I reached my twenties and men found me attractive, I began to think I was and my confidence rose.  One of the men I dated was very attractive and my sister wondered why he was dating me and not her because 'she was better looking.'  I soon moved away from the negative forces in my life and I went back to college in my 30's and became an LPN.  That also helped my confidence.    Now I am 53 and disabled due to toxic chemicals that I was exposed to at work. I rarely go out in public.  Not only because of my fear of exposure to products that make me sick, but also because I no longer resemble the woman I once was.  I have gained 50 pounds since I became ill.  I think I am a fat ugly pig.  I initially gained weight when I was put on several courses of steroids due to health problems and have been unable to get the weight off, even though I walked all summer long with little success.  Exercise for me in the wintertime is hard because I also have CFIDS and fibromyalgia which seem to worsen in the cold winter months.   I was recently diagnosed with heart and lung problems and even walking leaves me short of breath, so I now wear oxygen. I do have a treadmill, but rarely use it, because trying to avoid the oxygen tubing is also a pain.   I have thought of plastic surgery, but after a woman I used to work with mentioned she was trying to find help to remove excess skin from her abdomen after gastric bypass, I gave up my dream of having plastic surgery to help her.   I am alone all day long and have minimal conversation with my husband at night because he comes home long enough to eat, watch an hour or two of TV and then he's off to bed.  My 'friends' are limited to my internet.  I have other family members that live nearby, but they are busy with their lives, so I do not see them either unless we run into each other accidentally.   That's my life and I am so tired of it.  I want to feel good about myself again, but whenever I look in the mirror or step on the scales, I hate myself all over again.
I have the same feelings as you. I live in Oklahoma, where Robin's sister lives and I feel so superficial when I think of her. She was very disfigured by having acid thrown on her face while driving under an overpass. Dr Phil has had her on her program and she was very inspirational. But then I feel like a failure and so shallow because I can't apply that to myself.

It is such a relief, in a way, to know that there are others like me. I never was completely happy with my looks but I was considered atractive when I was younger- cheerful, girl-next-door looks. Seven years ago when we lost our farm and home we stopped being able to afford medical and dental care. I've lost my front teeth, my dimples disappeared and now there's a permanent frown no matter how hard I try. I'm about your age- 52.  I have an absolute phobia about looking at myself in the mirror. I haven't been to the hairdresser for the past 7 years because it would require me to sit and look at myself in the mirror, besides not being able to afford it. I almost never go out of my house anymore. I've stopped going to church because I'm too ashamed of how I look, even though I know God doesn't care. Are you like me- you've wanted to write Dr Phil but on the rare chance you might get picked, you know that there's not any way that you could appear on national TV. How horrible it would be to watch the videos of yourself! It makes me feel so shallow and superficial. I too am overweight about 50 pounds and I have the opposite problem of you- I get so hot when I exercise that I feel like I can't breathe. My eyelids droop so low now that I can hardly see and to me it looks like I have little pig eyes in a fat face. My intimacy with my husband really suffers- not because of him- he tries to tell me I'm beautiful to him- but then I imagine what my face looks like when we're making love and it makes me physically ill where I will have to vomit.

I look at old pictures of myself and wonder where I went. Do you feel like you just exist anymore and that's it? That's how I feel- I don't really have a death wish but I do feel like I'm slowly ceasing to exist and just waiting to die. I checked out Dr Phil's book "Self Matters" from the library and I think that it could help but for some reason I'm having a hard time getting through it. I really hope this program give us some concrete ways to help ourselves.

I can be your friend online if you like. Maybe we can all form a support group and learn to help ourselves. I am lucky that I have a very supportive and loving family but I don't really tell any of them how bad I feel and how much I hate my looks. I'm very close to my two grown daughters and I know they are getting worried about me because I never leave home anymore- I just tell them I'm a homebody. My daughters are very beautiful- I feel like the old brood mare that the breeder states "This old mare isn't much to look at but her offspring are very nice."  I am sick of my self-pity- another thing that  makes me dislike myself.

I am thinking and praying for you- really everybody on this board.
 
October 28, 2007, 9:13 am CDT

I CAN'T IMAGINE THIS

I have always wondered what these people see when they look into a mirror. I used to go to the PNE as a kid and look into the mirrors there that changed your body image into fat otr thin and all weird looking  and we all thought that was funny. This on the other hand is not, I have seen other shows about this disorder and the woman will come out on stage and she is beautiful but she thinks she is a monster. Is there something wrong in their mind where it makes their eyes focus weird images or something else? I know just by telling them that they are pretty doesn't work because they still see themselves as ugly monsters. Maybe this is something science can work on to help them if it isn't just a phycological disorder, then they need a dr to help them. I feel bad for these people and I hope Dr. Phil can help them.
 
October 28, 2007, 11:01 am CDT

Body Dysmorphic Disorder

My 35 year old son took his life last year as a result of suffering from the symptoms of BBD.  He was my only child.  College graduate; created/owned successful international business; 6'2", 'buff'', very good looking ‘chick magnet’, wonderfully witty and outstanding personality.  Respected, generous, loving, 'life of the party'; so many friends.  Was so good at hiding his torment until it was too late.

 

Looking back, I can track maybe 3 years before his death that his behavior was changing.  His last year he was obsessed with wanting to talk about his 'gross appearance'.  No longer wanted to be seen in public because ‘he knew peopled were grossed out by his looks’.  Had one minimal surgery on his eyes; wanted more and began seeking out top plastic surgeons who fortunately were suspect of his obsession.  Would become so angry with us, workers, and friends for not agreeing he was disgustingly ugly.

 

He hid his torment so well until his last year...until he couldn’t fake it anymore.  He was ashamed about not feeling ‘normal’, the emotional distress from this obsession just wore him out.  He never acknowledged that he had a disorder....just that he was grotesque.  

 

This is so heartbreaking for the person that can no longer reason and for the family and friends helplessly watching the demise.  While he secretly saw a therapist, it was difficult for us, including his therapist, to find a medical doctor that 'got' what was really going on with my son.  Finally we did and told that my son was so far  advanced in the BBD world tht it would  difficult for him to 'return' and warned that he was at high risk for suicide. (My son never met the doctor, but did meet with his therapist, me and his father). Without out my son's knowledge, we were in the process of obtaining a court order that would mandate a long term hospital confinement.  It was too late.   I miss him every second of my days…..

 

 

 
October 28, 2007, 1:32 pm CDT

Dear bddmymatt

Quote From: bddmymatt

My 35 year old son took his life last year as a result of suffering from the symptoms of BBD.  He was my only child.  College graduate; created/owned successful international business; 6'2", 'buff'', very good looking chick magnet, wonderfully witty and outstanding personality.  Respected, generous, loving, 'life of the party'; so many friends.  Was so good at hiding his torment until it was too late.

 

Looking back, I can track maybe 3 years before his death that his behavior was changing.  His last year he was obsessed with wanting to talk about his 'gross appearance'.  No longer wanted to be seen in public because he knew peopled were grossed out by his looks.  Had one minimal surgery on his eyes; wanted more and began seeking out top plastic surgeons who fortunately were suspect of his obsession.  Would become so angry with us, workers, and friends for not agreeing he was disgustingly ugly.

 

He hid his torment so well until his last year...until he couldnt fake it anymore.  He was ashamed about not feeling normal, the emotional distress from this obsession just wore him out.  He never acknowledged that he had a disorder....just that he was grotesque.  

 

This is so heartbreaking for the person that can no longer reason and for the family and friends helplessly watching the demise.  While he secretly saw a therapist, it was difficult for us, including his therapist, to find a medical doctor that 'got' what was really going on with my son.  Finally we did and told that my son was so far  advanced in the BBD world tht it would  difficult for him to 'return' and warned that he was at high risk for suicide. (My son never met the doctor, but did meet with his therapist, me and his father). Without out my son's knowledge, we were in the process of obtaining a court order that would mandate a long term hospital confinement.  It was too late.   I miss him every second of my days..

 

 

I just read your quote. My heart so goes out to you, please accept my deepest condolences. I don't know what else to say, so I'll stop. I will be thinking of you, your family, and you son daily. 
 
October 28, 2007, 2:25 pm CDT

10/30 Body Dysmorphia

Quote From: traumaqueen45

I know just how these ladies feel.  I have not spoken about this outside of my immediate family until now.    When I was younger, I was teased about being ugly, even by my own siblings.  When I reached my twenties and men found me attractive, I began to think I was and my confidence rose.  One of the men I dated was very attractive and my sister wondered why he was dating me and not her because 'she was better looking.'  I soon moved away from the negative forces in my life and I went back to college in my 30's and became an LPN.  That also helped my confidence.    Now I am 53 and disabled due to toxic chemicals that I was exposed to at work. I rarely go out in public.  Not only because of my fear of exposure to products that make me sick, but also because I no longer resemble the woman I once was.  I have gained 50 pounds since I became ill.  I think I am a fat ugly pig.  I initially gained weight when I was put on several courses of steroids due to health problems and have been unable to get the weight off, even though I walked all summer long with little success.  Exercise for me in the wintertime is hard because I also have CFIDS and fibromyalgia which seem to worsen in the cold winter months.   I was recently diagnosed with heart and lung problems and even walking leaves me short of breath, so I now wear oxygen. I do have a treadmill, but rarely use it, because trying to avoid the oxygen tubing is also a pain.   I have thought of plastic surgery, but after a woman I used to work with mentioned she was trying to find help to remove excess skin from her abdomen after gastric bypass, I gave up my dream of having plastic surgery to help her.   I am alone all day long and have minimal conversation with my husband at night because he comes home long enough to eat, watch an hour or two of TV and then he's off to bed.  My 'friends' are limited to my internet.  I have other family members that live nearby, but they are busy with their lives, so I do not see them either unless we run into each other accidentally.   That's my life and I am so tired of it.  I want to feel good about myself again, but whenever I look in the mirror or step on the scales, I hate myself all over again.
So much of you letter right down to your  husband describes my life. I also suffer from Fibro. I have also your dream of plastic surgery. Feeling the way I do about myself has ruined my whole life.I am also 53, unlike you, I never finished high school, I have no job, unless I go shopping for food...in the next town, i do not go out. I have no friends, I know people because of having a 16 year old son. But no one ...besides my mother calls me or knows how I feel.  I am 70 lbs overweight, I feel I am ugly, I call myself a fat slob, I started feeling this way when I entered high school,I right away had many guys asking me out, many telling me how pretty and  I was. There was a that dident like me much I remember her  saying to me that I llooked  like something out of a comic book,I remember that night my boyfriend wanted to get to the movies early to watch the cartoons before the movie, I did everything to make us late, I felt that if he watched the cartoons, he would realize that I resembled  them. I remember my Dad telling me at 15 ,that guys will tell you anything to get you to go to bed with them, he said "they will tell you how pretty you are". I have NEVER believed ANYONE when told that I was pretty. I feel ugly. I would like to change, my fantasy is to feel confedent. have a job, and not care what the mirror says. When I look in the mirror I see a deformed person, I dont want to be beautiful, I just want to fit in, I have two beautiful sisters, they both have careers and social lifes that I wish I had, but dont.  If you would like to  be friends  &talk...Joanne63314@yahoo
 
First Page | Previous Page | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Next | Last